Ties

Chapter Eighteen

That which Ties people together (kizuna)

“Gagh!...” Hitomi sat up in bed.

“Wha...oh...”

(“I am in my bedroom. I thought I died at Kageyama...”

“That was a bizarre dream... that was a loooonnnnng dream...” Hitomi said out loud.

“So somehow my soul was incomplete, and Arashi had to slice open the fabric of time and space to send me into this world. Huh.” Hitomi lay back down.

(“Well, whether it was just a dream or not, it is interesting. Maybe the ‘there’s something missing’ got on my mind so much that my subconsciousness got worked into making a dream to provide an answer.”) Hitomi closed her eyes and pulled her blanket up to her chin.

(“Good enough of a reason for me. Alarm won’t ring for another five hours. Today, I go to the lake to end it with Rin.”) Hitomi went back to sleep.

It was a windy day when Hitomi left her apartment. Windy like two years ago. The biting wind stung Hitomi’s face as she tried to retie her scarf. Rin had knitted that scarf. It was her first gift to Hitomi.

Hitomi wondered what would happen. Would Rin demand it back? And then cut it up into pieces? Would she want Hitomi to keep the scarf but promise to never wear it again?...

Hitomi walked past several benches along the shore of the lake, until she arrived at where they had sat two years ago. Hitomi sat down, rather resolved, and waited for the inevitable.

There were footsteps, hurried footsteps of someone running. Expecting Rin to come by on a cold day, in an empty park, Hitomi stood up to give her greeting.

“Kagami!” Rin ran herself right into Hitomi, and cried out the name that Hitomi did not expect. Rin hugged Hitomi’s head, pressing it tightly against her soft chest. “Kagami-chan...”

“Arashi Oneesama?!” Hitomi looked up in disbelief. “Rin! You had a dream, too?”

“No, not a dream. This morning as I woke, I suddenly had a flood of memories rushing into my mind. I even got a headache. I don’t know where the memory came from, and what opened the floodgate, but I had the memory of someone named Arashi, and you are Arashi’s Kagami.”

“So you didn’t live through any of it. I was in a long dream last night, and spent four years in it. Apparently I, as Kagami, lost a fraction of my soul. So maybe that’s the ‘something missing’ in our relationship.”

“No, I didn’t get to live it. But I inherited all of Arashi’s memory, as well as her emotions. Arashi mourned for you deeply in her heart. If there’s any substance to your dream and my newly obtained memory, I might be the incarnation of Arashi’s sword.”

“They wouldn’t even write novels like that, Rin. Life is weirder than fiction.”

The two sat down.

“Rin, well, now we know what might be missing, I guess we can say a friendly fare...”

“Hitomi.” Rin covered up Hitomi’s mouth with her right hand, and held it tight while putting her left arm around Hitomi’s shoulder. “I think, now knowing what Arashi and Kagami did, and knowing how Arashi felt, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore, this so-called ‘something missing’. Here’s something I’ve had since junior high”, and Rin opened her left hand, and in it, was a ring set with an enormous obsidian. “It’s officially classified as a cocktail ring, for wearing to a cocktail party, I guess. Sorry I don’t have anything more suitable, as jewellery stores don’t open this early.”

Hitomi’s eyes were wide-open. (“Oh my... Is this what I think it is?... Is she gonna... Will she get down on one knee?”)

[Rin didn’t.]

Rin drew next to Hitomi’s ear, and simply whispered “will you be mine?”

Rin withdrew her right hand from covering Hitomi’s mouth, and looked expectantly.

Hitomi didn’t answer. She stood, wide-eyed, with her thoughts all tangled. (“Is this it? Like, just a casual question? Like, really? But, I guess we are good again. Rin, the perfect Rin, wants to be with me, with a ring on my hand! *giggles*...”)

Rin was still waiting for an answer, and arched her left eyebrow, wondering what was going on inside Hitomi’s head.

Hitomi lowered her head. Rin’s heart sank.

Hitomi put her arms around Rin, put her head back onto Rin’s beautiful and soft chest, swayed slightly back and forth, and whispered with sweetness, longing, and joy: “...Oneesama...”

Rin smiled and chuckled. “That’s a good name. I like it.”

**********

It was still morning when they left the park, so they visited a breakfast restaurant. Hitomi was giggling randomly out of happiness, and Rin didn’t eat much. She spent most of her meal looking at Hitomi lovingly.

Rin and Hitomi arranged their lives so they could meet for lunch everyday unless something unexpected happened.

Summer came.

“Want to visit yourself?” Hitomi joked with Rin.

“What mischief are you planning this time?” Rin hugged Hitomi from behind.

“We should pay a visit to Atsuta Jin’gu in Nagoya. You are the incarnation of Arashi’s sword, right. See if you call out to the holy sword in the shrine, would it answer you.” Hitomi carelessly said. “Attack!” She reached behind and tried to tickle Rin.

Rin took control of Hitomi’s hands and held them behind Hitomi’s back. “Then what, go to the grand shrine of Ise and have you yell at the mirror? My Kagami?”

“That reminds me, Oneesama, would someone be the jewel?”

“I doubt it, Hitomi-chan. Your soul and Arashi’s sword came to this universe. I don’t think anything else came along.”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if there’s someone out there who is the jewel?”

“And then what, Hitomi-chan? Perform a skit in front of His Majesty the Emperor? The Saga of the Imperial Regalia???”

“Hah hah hah! Oath of Sisterhood in the Peach Garden! Hahaha! Oh my, my stomach hurts! Hahaa!”

**********

[Author’s Note]

Oath of the Peach Garden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oath_of_the_Peach_Garden

**********

Time went by fast. By the second semester of her third year at university, Hitomi had her first practicum as a teacher. Having lunch together every day was no longer an option. As school typically ended in mid afternoon, way earlier than the time that Rin would conclude her study for the day, planning for spending time with each other during the work week was becoming difficult.

“Another tiresome week...” Hitomi complained as the two took their seats in a restaurant to enjoy some self-serve grilled meat. “Having to meet only on weekends drains my energy.”

“That’s what ordinary people do when they are dating.” replied Rin.

“But we are not regular people, right? I am an incomplete soul and you are the sword that bears my existence in this world.I should be with you all the time!”

“Is teaching that bad?” Rin put a cherry tomato from the appetizers into Hitomi’s mouth, and Hitomi kissed Rin’s fingers. “You wanted to have a high school experience with leisure and did not take calculus, and so you are unable to just be a physicist in an office.”

“That’s not what happened. I did have a very enjoyable high school experience, with woodworking, choir, band, visual art...”

Hitomi laid some cuts of beef onto the now-heated grill. “But I still got into university to major in physics.”

“By applying to the Faculty of Arts, then switching your major after you got admission! Traitor!” Rin pinched Hitomi’s cheeks and yanked and pulled.

Hitomi lightly slapped Rin’s hands off. “I couldn’t be a physics major because second year university mathematics courses didn’t make sense to me, and so I had to stop taking math. No math, no physics.”

“You still got an A- in mathematics even though you couldn’t understand it. If you took on fewer courses and had more time to spend pondering the concepts and doing practice questions, you would have done well. Not every semester has to be filled with five courses, you know. You went to university on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9 am to 9 pm during your second year, and worked four consecutive days from Friday to Monday with eight hour shifts. With only Wednesday to study on your own, it’s a miracle that you had an A- average that year.”

Rin continued her lecturing. “Don’t blame the supposed ‘incomplete soul’ for the breakdown in relationship that we had. You stuffed your life with work and study, leaving little space for us to be together. Maybe the ‘something missing’ was in fact a flection of your lack of consideration.”

“...sorry...Oneesama...”

“Either way, our lives are becoming separated again. We have to do something”, was Rin’s conclusion as they started enjoying their meal together.

**********

“Should we move in together?” Hitomi suggested after the meal, now waiting for dessert to arrive.

“Mine is more spacious.” Smiled Rin.

“Mine has a more convenient location.” Retorted Hitomi.

“Will you be the one cooking?”

“Of course!” Replied Hitomi.

“Your apartment, then. And you can kneel by the door when I come home.” Rin smiled.

“How traditional...” Hitomi brought a spoonful of her green tea ice cream to Rin’s mouth, who took a bite and held-on to the spoon afterward with her mouth and wouldn’t let go for a few seconds.

“Well...”Rin finally let go of the spoon, “speaking of being traditional, you should call me ‘Lord’ after we live together.”

“......” Hitomi’s face was very red due to embarrassment.

**********

[Traditional way to address husband is ‘shujin’, which literally means ‘owner/lord’]

**********

“So do we consider ourselves ready to be officially married?” asked Hitomi.

“After both of us are done with our studies, the time would feel more suitable to me, but neither of us wants to wait that long. To have you call me ‘Lord’ makes me feel very joyful, but I do enjoy you calling me with honorifics.” Rin enjoyed being called ‘Oneesama’ very much.

“If I’m going to feel embarrassed calling you ‘shujin’, I might as well go all the way and actually call you ‘goShujin-sama’ if that’s what satisfies you.” Muttered Hitomi.

“Even better. I am exceedingly pleased with my dear little Hitomi-chan.”

**********

[‘goShujin-sama’ is how a servant addresses the head of the household, and carries a more subculture flavour as it is used in maid cafés and alternative lifestyles.]

**********

After the meal, Rin and Hitomi took a stroll downtown. “Do we get a wedding?” Asked Hitomi.

“No shrine would allow it, nor can we do it in a chapel. The best we can manage would be renting a garden from a photography firm and getting a ‘partnership certificate’ from the municipal level.”

“Should we travel overseas to Europe or Canada and do it there?”

“So that we can get married in an empty church?”

“No. That would feel awkward.” Hitomi sounded dispirited. “That would feel like we are eloping.”

“So do we become officially together first and then move in together?”

“Sounds about right. Part in the morning, school and work. I come home, cook dinner. You come home: we eat. I do lesson planning and marking, and you can wash dishes and do chores. Then it’s late and it’s bedtime.” Hitomi thought about how a typical day would unfold. “Still sounds depressing, but in a boring middle-aged-couple sort of way.”

“It’s rare in Japan to have both people working, probably, at least partially, for that reason.”

“So let’s plan things out before we move in together. We don’t want it to be a ‘trial run’. It should be a milestone in our lifelong commitment.”

Rin nodded in agreement.

**********

In the end Hitomi found teaching to be too much anyway. During her practicum, students didn’t listen well, and were surprised at the amount of notes on the board during the review lessons before exams, as if they were seeing the concepts for the first time.

“I don’t blame them.” Sighed Hitomi, “Japanese high school students usually have late night tutoring sessions, which makes them tired during the day, and thus needing more tutoring to catch up.” Hitomi said with her chin on her left wrist.

“Hospitals are stressed with the workload as well.” Rin was feeling the pressure, too.

“I think I will just finish university and that will be the end of it. I can go with you to work, go to a park, be back to have lunch together, then do grocery shopping. We get to go home together, cook together, eat together, and relax before bedtime.”

“That sounds lovely.” Rin kissed Hitomi on her forehand.

**********

Hitomi and Rin decided that they would graduate university, get their “partnership certificate”, and then move in together.

On that day, Rin would no longer be called Oneesama, but would become Hitomi’s goShujin-sama.

**********

Life went on in seemingly perfect lightheartedness. The two graduated, got their certificate, and Rin moved into Hitomi’s apartment.

The essentials were unpacked, along with most of Rin’s books. The rest stayed in boxes. With the busyness of life, there wasn’t time to sort through them.

twelve years later, when Rin was finally taking a year of sabbatical leave, the two proceeded to sort through the mountain of boxes that Rin brought over.

There were photo albums, baby clothes, elementary school art projects, old diaries, doll clothes, stuffed animals, mementos from grandparents, souvenirs from trips and vacations, old ‘favourite pens’...

Finally, there was the box of ‘miscellaneous objects’. After digging through the box, Hitomi found, in a clear plastic case, a hollow sphere made of golden thread and silver lace, inside which was a spider’s web made of teardrop-shaped pink crystals fixed to threads of silk, with black tassels underneath.

“What’s this?”

“An decoration that I had on my bedside lamp since childhood.”

“It’s so beautiful! May I take it out and have a better look?”

“Go right ahead.” Rin looked at Hitomi as if she wanted to spoil Hitomi with the love in her eyes. Rin felt deep joy, sharing her childhood memories with Hitomi.

Hitomi carefully took the decoration out of the clear box of hard plastic, held it close to her eyes, and looked admiringly.

“It’s so intricate and delicate! How elegant!”

Suddenly, a whiff of smoke came out from the crystal spider web, and entered Hitomi’s forehead.

Hitomi felt exceedingly sleepy, laid her head on Rin’s lap, and was asleep in seconds.

Rin was stunned by what had just happened. She picked up the hollow sphere, and a wave of information entered her consciousness. She saw, from a third person perspective, all of Kagami’s life, and all of Akishi’s life, and Yukari’s, Midori’s, Kasumi’s, Yayoi’s and Ryō’s as well. It was unreal.

She saw what had happened at a little hill by the foot of Kageyama on the day that Kagami went into town for her first time, and knew, that Hitomi was complete again.

**********

**********

Rin took Hitomi to bed, and lay down beside her. Staring at the ceiling, Rin didn’t know what to feel. She is Rin, certainly, but has inherited all of Arashi’s emotions as well. Now with the knowledge of the lives of everyone else from the other world, Rin didn’t know what her exact identity was anymore. Moreover, there seemed to be something else, another consciousness, trying to awake itself.

**********

**********

Hitomi woke up, a little before midnight, and was sleepy but not tired. She no longer felt exhausted by simply living her day to day life, a condition which previously required Hitomi to put her arms around Rin and place her head on Rin as frequently as possible to take much needed rest, as if to recharge.

Hitomi looked to the side, and saw Rin lying beside her. Feeling more clarity in her mind than ever before, Hitomi noticed something that she had not been able to earlier that day.

“Rin, neither of us has changed for the past fifteen years. We still look identical to our weding photo.”

Rin had a slightly mysterious smile on her face, “it’s late. Sleep.”

She put her hands on Hitomi’s eyes, and Hitomi fell back asleep as if under a spell.

Around them, the world started to disintegrate.