Triple A Adventuring Agency (Part4)

He scans the area around them and gives Cricket an inquisitive nod. "I guess we need to keep our eyes peeled for herbs, giant lizards, and a rare flower. What kind of information do we have on the target? Like, is it a distinct color, what size, or shape is it? I don't suppose we know its name?"

"The flower? Oh! Right, the flower!" She fumbles through her pockets, pulling out various odds and ends. "It's... um... definitely, a flower. With petals. And it's... rare! Very rare. And probably magical. Or poisonous. One of those." She scratches her head, grey eyes darting nervously. "You know what? The best discoveries are surprises! We'll know it when we see it. Probably. Maybe."

A twig snaps somewhere in the distance, making her jump. "Did you hear that? Could be those giant lizards. Or just a squirrel. A very big, scaly squirrel?" She draws her rusty shortsword, holding it awkwardly. "Should we... investigate?"

He pulls a hatchet from his pack along with a buckler crafted from a wooden pot lid reinforced with bands of iron. The little axe looks better for splitting firewood than fighting.
I need to keep her safe no matter what.
"It's probably nothing, and if it is something, it's nothing we can't handle together, probably." Not the most reassuring way to phrase it but he gives a confident smile. "But we should take a careful look just in case. I'll take point, watch my back. If it looks like something dangerous, we leave. Ok?"

"You'll take point? With a... pot lid?" She eyes his makeshift shield with a mix of concern and admiration. Her grip tightens on her shortsword as she moves closer to him, speaking in an exaggerated whisper. "Okay, but if it's actually a giant lizard, we should probably run. Unless... wait, do you have any secret lizard-taming talents we don't know about yet?" She attempts to move stealthily, while also managing to step on every possible twig in the process. "And just so you know, if we die, I'm totally blaming the universe's vendetta against me. Not your pot lid. Which is actually kind of genius, by the way."

Malbec has to suppress a chuckle at Cricket's 'stealthy' approach. "We make due with what we have.” He replies with a shrug, “I've heard stories of someone winning a fight with a wooden spoon; his opponent wasn't a lizard, but it was still quite the impressive tale." Malbec stage-whispers back, hoping his words came across as a bit reassuring. He looks back with a somewhat serious smile, "And hey! You are not dying here. Not while I'm still standing. Running away is always an option, but we should see what we're dealing with first. Like you said, could just be a big squirrel." He smiles while swallowing his nerves and proceeds forward towards the sound.

"A wooden spoon warrior? Now that's the kind of story I need to hear!" Her heart flutters at his protective words. Nobody's ever promised to keep her safe before. "Not dying sounds good! Though with my luck, it probably IS a giant lizard. Or worse - an angry debt collector disguised as a giant lizard!" She shuffles closer, practically hiding behind his shield. "But you're right - we should at least look. And hey, if it is a lizard, maybe we can befriend it! Add 'lizard taming' to Triple A's services!"
The sound grows louder, and she grips her sword tighter, whispering: "Just... don't do anything heroic without warning me first, okay? I'd hate to have to explain to any tree spirits why I let their maybe-son get eaten."

Debt collectors? I think she said something about that when we left. I'll ask about it later. 
Malbec's heart thumps in his ears, as much from Cricket's proximity behind him as from the potential threat ahead. He puts on a brave smile but can't keep the worry from his voice, "H-hey, I'm not planning on dying either. I've never tried to tame a lizard, I wonder what they eat, other than lost adventurers." The joke doesn't quite land and rather than relaxed he feels more tense. "S-sorry." With one more deep breath Malbec steadies his shaking hands and creeps forward around the corner. What he sees causes him to pause and hold his breath.
Not a lizard, I think it's a . . .

She peers around the edge of his shield nervously, "Oh thank the gods, it's just a deer! A very large, very angry-looking deer... with really sharp antlers..." She tugs at his sleeve, whispering urgently. "Um, Malbec? Maybe we should back away slowly? I once heard these things can charge faster than a speeding wagon. Though that might've been about goats. Or possibly geese..."

The deer raises its head, nostrils flaring it looks right at the two would-be adventurers.

"Okay, new plan - how do you feel about testing those tree-climbing skills again?"

"What!?" he looks back at Cricket in surprise but as the deer scratches the ground aggressively he curses under his breath. He drops his shield to free his hand and quickly sheds his pack to reduce the weight. "Ok, grab on," he indicates for Cricket to grab hold of his back as he scans the trees for one close by that might hold their weight.

The stag lowers its antlers to charge. Snorting and groaning as it lunges forward.

"Going up." As soon as he feels her arms around his neck he reacts and pulls the two of them high up into the branches. His mind shouting and praying to tree spirits,
Please hold, please hold please hold!

"AAAHH!" She clings tightly to his neck, her heart racing. "That was AMAZING! Terrifying, but amazing! You really do have tree spirit blood!" She looks down at the angry deer pacing below, her legs dangling precariously. "Although... um... did we have a plan for getting DOWN? Because I think he's settling in for the long haul. And my sword arm's getting tired..." The branch creaks ominously beneath them. "Also, not to alarm you, but I think this tree might be having second thoughts about hosting us..."

"Down? Well, that depends on if we want venison for supper."
Gods above, I never want her to let go. SHUT. UP. BRAIN. More important things to think about!
As the branch groans and cracks, Malbec's mind races through terrible options.

Ok, jump down onto the deer? Not with Cricket on my back, she'll get hurt. 
Throw something to scare it off? Maybe but if you miss the branch might not last long enough to try again. 
The tree groans again as the deer rubs its antlers against the trunk.
Hells hells, no time...

"You know how you said to warn you if I was about to do something stupid. Well... do you trust me?"

"Trust you? After that amazing squirrel-mode rescue?" Her arms tighten around his neck as the branch gives another ominous creak. "I mean, you've kept me alive so far, which is honestly a new record for my adventures! So whatever crazy plan you've got, I'm in!" She glances down at the increasingly agitated deer, then back at him with a nervous grin. "Just... try not to get us killed? My ghost would never hear the end of it from those debt collectors!"

Malbec's face burns bright red as Cricket's grip tightens, Grrk, she's got a strong grip.
"When I say 'go', shift your grip to the trunk of the tree, stay as close to the middle as you can, it's where it should be strongest. I'll just be a moment."
Ok, the branch should support her by herself. I mean we're not THAT high up, so at least the fall won't kill us if I mess this up, getting trampled by an angry stag might but, details. Whatever gods might be listening, please keep her safe.
"Sorry about this." The branch cracks and splinters, just about ready to break off.

"GO!"

Once Malbec feels Cricket's grip slip from his shoulders he steps off the branch, leaving her clinging to the tree. As he falls he slows himself slightly with his boots digging into the bark then lodges his hatchet just below the ailing branch as a support and extra foot hold for Cricket. The momentum of the swing pushes him off the tree and he falls towards the deer. A collision with a few branches slows his decent. He whoops, hollers and roars as he falls, then smacks the creature in the flank trying to startle it into running away.

"MALBEC NO!" Her heart leaps into her throat as she watches him fall.

She clings desperately to the tree trunk, eyes wide with panic. "That's not what I meant by warning me about doing something stupid!"

The branch finally snaps with a sickening crack, but her feet remain stable, balanced between the remnants of the branch and the embedded hatchet. "Gaaah! If you die, I swear by all the gods I'll... I'll... hire a necromancer to bring you back just so I can kill you myself!"

She watches in horror as he collides with the startled deer, her knuckles white against the bark.

"Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay..."