Let's Talk

Did you say reincarnated?”

“Uh… did I say that?”

“Yeah.”

“What I meant to say was that—“

“No, it’s not like it’s bad or anything, but I was just caught off guard. I thought I was the only one who was reincarnated.”

Okay, good, I was right about everyone in the celebrated generation then.

“Really? I guessed that every one of the celebrated generation was reincarnated.”

“How’d you figure that out?”

“We were born into the ‘celebrated generation,’ so it seemed like a dead giveaway.”

I couldn’t outright tell her that god told me so; I had to lie. It felt kind of wrong to lie to her, but keeping my relationship with him a secret seems like the best option, especially since he told me he isn’t casual with everyone else. But at the same time, he could be lying. I just hope that she doesn’t catch on.

“That kind of makes sense. Have you told anyone from this world that you were reincarnated?”

“No, plus I doubt anyone would believe me. Either way, I’d rather just focus on this world instead of thinking back on my previous life.”

“Was your previous life bad?” Akiko asked.

“It wasn’t too great and ended earlier than it should’ve.”

“How come?”

“I died because I saved someone from jumping off a bridge.”

“You saved someone?”

“Yeah, some girl was about to jump off a bridge, but I was able to catch her and pull her up. But I ended up falling over because of it.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I’m here now, so I guess everything worked out in the end.”

“Do you think that you would’ve regretted saving her, if you were never reborn?”

“That’s kind of a loaded question.”

Akiko looked away and started fiddling with her thumbs; it seemed like she hadn’t realized that she was prying. I didn’t really mind, though, but I didn’t really expect her to ask that type of question.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just… You died in such an unusual way, I wanted to know what you thought about it.”

“Interesting, huh? Kind of a rude way to put it, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just that I think it’s amazing that you risked your life to save someone else, but it’s sad that you had to die.”

“Relax, I know what you meant. Just teasing. But no, I wouldn’t have regretted saving her.”

“Can I ask why?”

“It’s because it felt like I was meant to save her. Just before I met her, I’d been rejected from another job again. It crushed me. Made me question everything about my life and how much of a failure I’d become. All my life, I felt like I hadn’t achieved a single thing that mattered. If I had died that day without saving her, then my life would have been meaningless. There would have been no reason for me to have even been born. But in that moment, when I actually saved her, everything changed. For the first time, my life had meaning. It was like I found a piece of myself I thought was lost, a sense of redemption. Even if I couldn’t do anything else, I finally understood why I was here. The reason I was born... was to save her.”

At that moment, I kept rambling to her about my issues, and for some reason, I couldn’t stop. Normally, I would just tell myself to suck it up and that thinking about anything negative wouldn’t benefit me at all, so there was no reason to think about that kind of stuff. But now, with Akiko here, I just want to tell her everything. I wanted someone to hear my story, I wanted anyone to understand how much I’ve suffered. Even though I felt that way, all of this was still my problem. There was no need to get someone else involved.

I snapped out of it, embarrassed. “Oh, sorry for dumping all that on you. You can just ignore—”

“That’s… so sad,” Akiko whispered, her eyes glassy with tears.

I tried to joke it off. “Don’t give me that pitiful look.”

She shook her head. “It’s not pity. I just hate that you ever thought that about yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said that there was no meaning to your life. I hate that you said that. Of course, your life had meaning, even without saving that girl; your life would still have meaning. I’m so sorry that you thought that about yourself.”

“N-no, it’s…” I couldn’t believe her words. It wasn’t like she was lying, but it just felt wrong. If I hadn’t saved that girl, my life really would’ve amounted to nothing.

“It’s fine,” I said. “Don’t concern yourself with my problems.”

“It’s not fine.” She mumbled, “Nothing about this is right.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s wrong that you’re willing to go through any of that by yourself. If you’re ever going through something, please tell me. I want to help you."

“I wouldn’t expect someone so shy and awkward to be so willing to talk.”

“I-it’s just that, back in my old life, I was going through a lot, and I had this friend. She would always be there for me and would talk to me whenever I had a problem. I looked up to her. She was a kind and caring person who would always put others first. To me, she seemed like the ideal person, like there would never be anything wrong with her. Until one day, I caught her crying by herself. I walked up to her and asked her about it, but she just brushed it off, saying that it wasn’t a big deal. I wanted to try further, but I was too scared to; I didn’t want to push into her life. I know it sounds selfish, but I was just too scared to approach her about it. I was scared that if I kept prying, she was going to end up hating me. I was scared of getting too personal with her. Pathetic right? Even though she’s helped me so much, I couldn’t find the strength to do the same.”

“Did she end up getting better?”

“No, she’d stopped going to work, and before I could figure out why, her body was found lying in the bathtub with both of her wrists slit. You know what was the worst part about this… her body wasn’t found because I went to check up on her. Her landlord walked in because she was late on her payment.”

Akiko started to cry, and I froze. I had no idea how to comfort her. If I were in her place, I wouldn’t want to hear an ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or a ‘that must’ve been horrible.’ Everything I could say felt wrong. But maybe I don’t have to say anything, maybe all I need to do is be there for her. Thinking back on my life, if I just had a single person to be with, then it would’ve made everything a lot better. Not even a person to talk to, but a person just by my side. That must be what she needs right now, just someone close to her.

I walked up to Akiko and knelt down in front of her. She looked up at me with tears flowing down her cheeks and watery eyes. I could feel the guilt just by looking at her eyes. Some say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and by looking at Akiko, I understand why people say that now. I wrapped my arms around her. My limbs felt stiff and awkward, but I knew this would help her. Or at least I hoped it would.

I wasn’t sure if I should squeeze tighter or let go, so my arms just hovered stiffly around her. It felt awkward, definitely wrong, but I hoped she wouldn’t notice. Then she pulled me in tight, burying her face in my chest as her quiet sobs turned into full-on crying. All I could do was hold onto her a bit tighter, but I think that was all I needed to do.

After she calmed down, I pulled back and placed my arms on her shoulders. “I-if you need to talk, then I’ll be here for you too.”

Her eyes shimmered as she gave me a small, gentle smile, comforting despite everything. It was odd, I couldn’t believe that someone was able to smile like that after talking about something so tragic. “Okay, I will.”

We sat in silence for a bit. Well, it wasn’t completely silent; I could hear Akiko sniffling and wiping her tears away. I didn’t want to interrupt her while she was processing her emotions, so I kept quiet. It felt weird, just sitting there while a girl was crying. Eventually, she broke the silence. Thank goodness.

“Sorry for dropping all of that on you,” she said.

“No, it’s fine. You clearly needed to talk, and I didn’t mind listening.”

“And if you ever need to talk to someone, please talk to me. I want to help you just like you did for me.”

“Okay… I will.”

She sniffled, the weight between us finally lifting. “And I’ll… I’ll try to be as awkward as you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Wow. Criticizing me right after I comforted you?”

“N-no, it’s not like that. I meant it in a good way. I could tell that you were uncomfortable while doing it, so it was nice that you were willing to put that aside to comfort me. And I want to comfort you the same way.”

“You have a weird way of wording things, you know.”

“Sh-shut up. I know, alright? Let’s just get back to training.”

“If you say so… but are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah, and it’s thanks to you.”

“No problem.”

After we calmed down a bit, we went right back to training. Akiko kept up with her suppression and mana control training, while I worked on the ascended elements. Akiko said I was progressing fast with celestial, fast enough that I might learn split stepping in a few days. We pushed harder than usual, training until the sun dipped low, then wrapped up before the sky turned completely black. Akiko thanked me again for running out. Exactly like yesterday, her body gave out while running, so she fell again. I hope she knows that she doesn’t have to run every time.

On the walk back, the campus wasn’t empty this time. A few students still lingered, and the sky burned with orange and purple instead of black. It gave me time to think about what Akiko and I had talked about. She wanted to help me… but was it because she actually cared, or just because she felt obligated? I knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t help but be paranoid. Sure, it was something nice, but what did she have to gain from it? Maybe it gives her comfort, maybe she feels good when helping someone, to be honest, I wasn’t really sure. She could just be a kind and caring person for all I know, but something in me thinks that there is an ulterior motive. Maybe I’m just paranoid and weirded out by all of this. It’s not like I had many friends or people to talk to back in my old life.

A tap on my shoulder snapped me out of it. I turned to see a shaved-head kid glaring at me.

He looks kind of familiar…

“You’re friends with Akiko, right?” His tone was sharp, more of a challenge than a question. I’ve been through enough crap to know when someone’s trying to pick a fight.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I’m Nensho.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to tell Akiko that I want a rematch.”

“Rematch?”

“Yeah, after she humiliated me at the orientation, I want to put her down.”

Oh yeah, this was the guy Akiko beat up during the orientation.

I tilted my head, unimpressed. “What’s the point of a rematch?”

“Because this time—”

“You won’t stand a chance.”

He gritted his teeth, “What did you say?”

“You heard me. If she destroyed you once, what makes you think it’ll end differently?”

He leaned in close, gripping my collar tighter. “You got a problem with me?”

I smirked, “Not really, I think what you’re doing is just idiotic and pointless.”

“I don’t want to hear it from a guy with no blessing.”

“Low blow, dude.” I pried his hand off my collar. His grip looked tight, but it felt weaker than it seemed. “But even without one, I could still beat you down as easily as Akiko did to you.”

His eyes narrowed. “Is that a challenge?”

“If you think it is.”

“Fine. Tomorrow, a magical duel.”

“I don’t know, I have more important things to worry about.”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

“I don’t know… sounds like a waste of time.” I brushed past him, raising a hand dismissively. “Get stronger first. Then maybe I’ll bother.”

“Wait.” His voice hardened. “What if we put something on the line?”

It stopped me in my tracks. I remembered Gareth talking about placing bets before battles to gain more credits. “Like what?”

“Credits of course.”

“How many?”

“Ten thousand.”

My heart skipped. Ten thousand?! That’s double what Gareth gave us. Enough wagyu to last me a while. Only problem was that I didn’t have the credits to match him.

“I would but…”

“Here come the excuses.”

“I don’t have enough. It wouldn’t be fair if I can’t put up the same.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No, it’s not like I plan on losing either way.”

“Then, I accept this duel.”

“Meet me after school tomorrow at the arena. I’ll make sure to gather a crowd so that everyone can see how much of a worthless warrior you are.”

“Just be sure to pay me when I win.”

“Kiss my ass,” he turned away, “And don’t wuss out.” Then he split-stepped away.