Oddities

The war party once again sighted the stone walls of the Sword Clan village and while the joy of victory still filled many hearts there was an air of frustrated confusion that was palpable among the march. One of many confused and frustrated was Tagunban who marched ahead to walk with his father along with his half brother and the chieftain. “You don't mean for us to pay that tribute still do you? After that insulting showboating dinner?” asked Tagunban in demanding bewilderment to the chieftain. “If we just go home we'll look bad to the rest of the tribe, like we're afraid of the warchief after we insulted him with our departure. I have the perfect plan in mind, just wait and see young one.” the chieftain responded sagely as the war party once again approached the massive gate. “The Axe Clan has returned from the raid against the Jungle Tribe and we come bearing gifts. Open this gate so we may fulfill our vow to the Sword Clan.” commanded the chieftain thumping the blunt side of his axe against the mighty wooden gate. Upon seeing the many water buffalo packed with goods the guards acquiesce and order the gates open. Once again the animal handlers came out with leather whips in hand and lashed the gayal to pull the ropes that opened the great wooden gate with a moaning crack and many bovine grunts. With the gates opened the war party strode in with bold confidence heading to instead of the warchief’s long house to the village center. There the chieftain made Katas and Katsu hold him up on a shield over their shoulders. “Gather round our brothers the Sword Clan! The Axe Clan is rich with goods of all varieties from our recent raid to the Jungle Tribe. Come! Come and receive the gifts we so generously share with our brethren!” The chieftain shouted as loud as he could, before blowing a short song with his war horn. So the war party began to unload their water buffalo giving a great many gifts of looted gold, horn, and hide to any sword clansmen that stepped forward to take it; from pauper to patriarch and everyone in between. Soon nearly all the non-food goods were given away and the war party herded their water buffalo back to the pens where they were gladly accepted before making their way to the warchief's long house, all the way being cheered and hailed. They strode into the warchief’s long house all with a smug over confidence knowing that the warchief was largely powerless against them unless he wished to anger his clan and possibly be forced to step down from his position as warchief. The chieftain stood before the warchief in his seat who looked even more unamused than last time. Word had already reached him of the Axe Clan’s actions in the village center and he knew there were demands afoot as slumped in his seat head on supporting hand. “The Axe Clan have fulfilled our promise of gifts to the Sword Clan in more than full, honorable warchief.” stated the chieftain in the sagacity and authority of eldership purely to add salt to the wound of bypassing the warchief in gift giving. “As I never doubted brother Axe Clan. Same with your ineptitude in gift giving procedure, for it is always the heads of clan and tribe that are the ones the medium of gift giving is overseen by.” smugly retorted the warchief with a twitch in his eyebrow. “The same as your ineptitude in hosting guests?” Bellowed Katas proudly, his chest puffed out as he stepped forward. “Our gifts to the Sword Clan far outweigh the rice gruel and old fish you insulted us with when we first arrived. All the while you saw fit to stuff your gullet with a veritable feast like a hog before slaughter in front of us!” Called out Katas as open handed slapped his chest to produce a boom that echoed across the stone long house. The other Sword Clansmen present all began to whisper and sneer at the warchief in response as the warchief grew more and more red in the face as he gritted his teeth. “Very well, I promise on my authority as warchief that the gifts given today shall be repaid twice over in order to heal the slight to your clan’s honor. I hope to heal this misunderstanding your warriors begat, I simply couldn't risk my clan’s stocks without evidence of bounty. After all the shamans predicted a long and hot dry season this year did they not.” responded the warchief through gritted teeth at first before slowly returning to his smug air of disamusement with the final question. Some of the Sword Clansmen backed off with their sneers and jeers at the warchief, the man being able to save some face among his people with his response. “The Axe Clan shall gladly accept your apology feast warchief. May it kindle the flames of everlasting friendship between our clans.” Answered the chieftain pushing Katas back with the side of his axe. “Very well, your men may take up their lodgings now. I'll have a worthy feast prepared in their honor.” the warchief finished as he waved the war party away. The men went to their provided stone huts and once again the chieftain, Katas, Katsu, Ta Da, Bongao, and Tagunban all shared the same stone hut. “Did you see how red that arrogant little bastard got when I called him out?” And notice how he never addressed his own personal feast when he served us that insult of a meal.” gloated Katas proud of his accomplishments. “A bold move my initiate, but one that may not be free of repercussions in the future. We greatly wounded his standing among his clan as well as his pride, and there's nothing the arrogant despise more.” lectured the chieftain in turn. “Think he might lose his position as warchief over this?” asked Katsu to the chieftain. “Unless he's fool enough to serve us rice gruel again or attempts to strike at us after offering hospitality. No, that display was nothing he can't recover from in the eyes of the Sword Clan even with our gifts.” once again answered the chieftain. Everyone then set to unpacking their equipment and resting their travel weary bones, though Tagunban would catch his father Katas in a peculiar situation. Katas had his loincloth lowered as he inspected the now foul and puss spilling wound he received from the Jungle Tribesman's spear a week ago. “That wound looks horrible, father.” Tagunban worried to Katas as he walked over. “I know, damn jungle air saw fit to make my wound go sour. When we return I'll have to see that shaman about this no doubt.” Katas grumbled in response before placing his hand on the wound and summoned another jet of flame from his palm recauterizing the wound as he gritted his teeth in pain. Gasping in pain he retracted the hand and let the wound air out until both heard a shouting that dinner was ready. Katas then covered the wound with his loincloth worn higher than usual. The warriors again entered the stone long house where their eyes beheld a feast of truly great proportions. Suckling pig, gayal steaks, rice wine, stews of chicken, pork, buffalo, vegetable, and everything in-between, all this and more in spades; the price of their gifts truly repaid in double. “My friends the Axe Clan let this meal repay any ill wills my foolish mistake in hosting may have created. Come and eat your fill and then some, my beloved brethren.” bellowed the warchief in toast with the axe clan chieftain their buffalo drinking horns clacking together. The war party then sat down to the greatest night of raucous merriment Tagunban had ever seen. Gorging, drinking, singing, dancing, wrestling, and some warriors even brought willing and eager serving girls back to their stone huts for a different sort of raucous merrymaking. When all was said and done Tagunban had eaten the most he had in either his current life or his past life and Kagetora, full almost to the point of bursting and heavily drunk. Tagunban was also the first to drunkenly stumble back to the shared hut where he promptly passed out on the wrong bed. Waking up to a flurry of light drunken slaps by his half brother Katsu, Tagunban quickly rolled out of bed before crawling onto his own and attempting to fall back asleep.

Yet an hour passed and sleep never came, finally Tagunban had to get up and walk out the door to the communal dugout latrine. Walking up and pulling his loincloth down to relieve his bladder into the foul smelling ditch Tagunban would finish, pull his loincloth back into place, and turned around only to be face to face with the warchief which made him jolt in surprise. “Looks like I found you at just the right time young initiate.” stated the warchief with a wicked grin on his face. “I can tell you're not like the others in your war party, a man so young having already earned tattoos of merit; and for tiger killing at that-very impressive.” the warchief elaborated as he pointed to the tattoo on Tagunban's arm before he cleared his throat and said a statement in an entirely alien to this world posh British accent and in the English language. “Salutations good sir, my name is Sir Winston Cromwell the Second. How do you do?” While Kagetora never went to public school and thus never learned English he did recognize the language for what it was and that fact made his eyes widen and sobered him instantly. Japanese having long seemed like a second language by this point came out choppy and broken yet still Tagunban/Kagetora responded. “I can't s~speak English.” The warchief chuckled before switching back the Highland Tribe language. “Ah I can't be so lucky as to expect another proper Englishman. What language was that, Cantonese, Korean, Japanese? It doesn't matter actually, what matters is that another man of civilization joins me in this sea of savagery.” the warchief elated as he put a hand on each of Tagunban's shoulders. “I~I never knew there were others.” stuttered Tagunban as his mind struggled to process the situation. “Nor did I, dear boy and surely if there are two there are more. We must gather those of our ranks so we may rally.” exclaimed the warchief in excitement. “When you died, did you see a leopard dragging the skeleton of a human?” asked Tagunban, largely ignoring the warchief's last remark. “Indeed I did boy, when I had finally taken my last breath asleep one night in my manor. I awoke as nothing but a soul and the roar of that beast tore me to my core. Then I was reborn thirty four odd years ago now.” responded the warchief in continued excitement. “Though infancy and childhood were rather miserable experiences I certainly shan't complain about being in the supple and strong body of a young man again, besmirched by these hideous markings as they must be.” continued the warchief before he paused to flex and show off his muscles. “But nevermind that boy, I need your assistance in an important effort.” the warchief stated before placing a hand back on Tagunban's shoulder again. “I need a right hand man for my plans, someone to get things done behind the scenes while I keep up appearances.” asked the warchief eagerly awaiting a response. “What kind of plans?” questioned Tagunban, visibly uncomfortable by the situation. “Why to civilize these lands of course, destroy the shackles of barbarism that keep these primitive mongoloids killing each other instead of doing anything productive.” answered the warchief with enthusiasm. “Why?” responded Tagunban in genuine confusion. “Why?! WHY?! because it is the civilized man’s burden that's why! Do not tell me you have let yourself be corrupted away from progress by the machinations of these barbarians!” shouted the warchief angrily as he squeezed his shoulder tightly in rage. “I live a better life here than I ever did on Earth. The only thing society did for my mom and I was leave us to die in the gutter after my dad died. Here I have family and a future.” responded Tagunban through gritted teeth. “Headhunting, tattooing, polygamy, animal sacrifice, human sacrifice, banditry, rampant warfare, and primitivism with no future or productivity! You would prefer to live in a world of idiotic barbarism and superstition, then live in your rightful place as king and bring a new age of civilization into this ungrateful horde?!” continued shouting the warchief as he now squeezed Tagunban's shoulder painfully. “The emperor nor the prime minister ever did anything to help my mom and I when we lived on the streets!” shouted Tagunban in return as he smacked the Warchief's hand off his shoulder. “Just my luck, the only other civilized man here and he was some pauper simpleton, too dull and uneducated to see the larger picture.” chided the warchief in frustration as he began to pace. “What would you know?! You died old and fat in a mansion. I died at nineteen when I was betrayed by my boss in a drug deal because it was the only way I could pull my mom and I off the streets forever! What of all the worst things civilization did? Genocide, total warfare, environmental destruction, slaughter houses, imperialism, or racism?” continued shouting Tagunban through gritted teeth, his frustration welling. “That is all progress you oaf! They are good because they bring humanity forward, not hold it back like barbarism. They are necessary evils that bring about what is truly good in life: air conditioning, refrigeration, personal hygiene, electricity, planes, automobiles, antibiotics, literature, television, the end of famines. You think the Nazis would have been stopped by tribal warfare? You think barbarians could land on the moon or discover the poles? These people haven't even discovered how not to piss in their own drinking water. You think they could discover penicillin or vaccinations?” ranted the warchief in response. “What good did that all do me the first time I was alive? I never got to go to school, never got to travel, never drove a car, or even had a real relationship with a girl. All that was denied to me because people like you didn't care, because the shipping company weaseled their way out of paying a settlement to my mom. You don't have values, you just have things you want and everything else is an excuse for you to steal it from others for your own gain.” questioned Tagunban in return. “You're right I do have things I want, and if you won't help me then you'll stay out of my way. Were you aware that in the past the Tribe of the Buffalo and the Tribe of the Highlands were once the same tribe when they first arrived on this island? Were you aware that once they stole these lands from the Tribe of the Jungles and the Tribe of Ancients respectively that they briefly formed a mighty kingdom? I will recreate this kingdom and introduce the Tribe of the Highlands to total warfare conquering the Tribe of the Buffalo completely like great Caesar striking down the Gauls. My kingdom will then conquer the whole of this primitive island and form the foundation of a great empire. Then I shall bring about a new age of progress, no more raids, no more sacrifices to petty idols, no more primitive superstition. It will be a new age of science, logic, and productivity. All cultures will be assimilated, the best aspects of each absorbed into the whole before its destruction.” the warchief elaborated before Tagunban socked him in the jaw, the warchief just grinned in response to the blow. “If you were some savage who did that to me I'd kill you here and now. Yet you're a man of civilization, you can still be reasoned with as opposed to put down like a rabid dog. Go now, go see the misery inflicted by this savage world. Try and stop me and I'll kill you and everyone you hold dear, I'll keep your heads and use you as weapons for my conquest whether you like it or not.” warned the warchief as he walked away. “I'll tell everyone your plan you bastard!” shouted Tagunban in spite. “No you won't, for the same reason you never told anyone your true origins either.” the warchief responded in his usual tribal way of speaking before walking off. Tagunban felt a knot grow in his stomach as he realized the man was right, even if he did tell everyone either no one would believe him; or worse the fact would deify him or in some way legitimize his ideas further. Tagunban would return to the hut and his bed but he would get no sleep that night.