Chapter 4: Alli

If she had to describe death, it was like diving into the sea. The very same sea she had always looked at from her island, wondering what it was like on other islands. The moment she touched the water, she dissolved into a foam that dispersed almost instantly. It was quick, painless, and beautiful even.

But there was something else. A force, one could call it. A power higher than she could even comprehend, pulled that very foam together. It turned and tussled, fused and fissioned, mixed and mashed, and before reality could stitch itself back together within her consciousness, the world was bright again.

Air after nothingness filled her lungs, the pure shock of such a sensation brought her to tears. Her underdeveloped muscles were unable to comprehend the new space she existed in and her tears turned into wails. This was not the quiet she was promised.

The newborn babe tried to blink her eyes open, desperate to see some sort of familiarity in this bizarre world, only to be jostled and lifted further into the air. Reality seemed to turn on itself as she felt her consciousness start to collapse around her, a feeling more than anything, whispered into her very being that perhaps sleep would be the best choice for now. So, with no other choice, she slept.

Akari used to be her name. Her mother named her and used two very specific characters. The first one (明) meant bright or clear whereas the second one (命) meant fate or life. Before her wealthy father left, her mother clearly had high hopes for her and their family. Akari essentially became her mother’s physical manifestation of her dreams. To be blessed with such a name and was only given misery as a reward, but who’s to argue against one’s name?

“Alli, can you help mama with the cooking?” Her new dad called out.

It was strange to find yourself reincarnated into a new world, stranger still to have herself a dad. A few years had passed to the point she'd learned most of the language and local customs.

“Do I have to?” Alli answered back meekly. It took some time getting used to her new name, but she found that she liked it much more than her old one. She glanced furtively towards the kitchen area.

There was a heavy sigh. “No, but it would be nice, even if it is just once.” There was no hope in his tone, her dad had played this game enough times to know that there was no winning this one.

Alli murmured an apology before shuffling back to her room. She was a rare case, the other villagers said. Rare enough to get her own room. Weirdo, they called her on the street. Nothing new, Alli thought, but it still stung. She tried and she tried and she tried, but there was nothing she could really do. Every time she would try to get close to her mom, she would appear in her mind’s eye, breaking any courage she might’ve dug up.

Her room often would cheer her up as she made great effort to make sure it was as comfortable as she could make it. But today was not the day it seemed as Alli found herself even lonelier than usual. She missed Yashinori and Kousei, even if Kousei didn’t speak much to her. She could only wonder what had happened to them after her dive, her memory was a bit blurry after all.

It was very different, living in this world. As a child, she was expected to be either doing nothing, learning important life skills, or playing with friends. Friends…was a sore topic and most kids didn’t seem to like her all that much. Alli once heard a boy say that she looked like her soul had been snatched by The Reaper. He was quickly shushed and the mother looked around anxiously, but Alli pretended not to notice.

As for skills, maybe a one off here and there, and more often than not, she would find herself trembling violently. It got so bad that when her mom was trying to teach her how to wash clothes, Alli blacked out and fell into the nearby river and almost drowned. Her mom didn’t try to teach her anything after that. Her dad was the one who ended up teaching her.

“Alli…” She looked up from her mud sculpture of a house, expectant. Her dad opened his mouth, then closed it with a sad look. “If you won’t cook, then take some twine.”

“...okay.” She got up to then stomped on her house, flattening it back into the ground before following her dad into the storehouse. Just like ninety percent of the village, her family were grain farmers. Her dad owned large swathes of land behind their house and when she saw it for the first time, she was overjoyed by how yellow and real it all looked. It was so bountiful and free that before she realized what was happening, she had already taken off and was running through the stalks.

Her dad passed a large bundle of twine from the animal's intestine before picking up his scythe. “Listen here, Alli. We’ll be doing the Drian fields today, so there will be a slope. Be careful where you’re stepping and make sure that you’re a good distance away from me, okay?”

“Okay.” She nods, her hands already busy fiddling with the twine.

“I’ll explain what you need to do when we get there, but for now, try to keep up!” The last part he added with a grin. Whenever he smiled like that, Alli always felt a sense of security and warmth she had never really experienced before. She smiled too and picked up her pace to keep the pace.

While by design and village tradition, the grain fields were always behind the house, for their household, the Drian fields were of some distance and her dad always took the main road for ease of travel.

It made for very scenic walks as Alli got to hum and awe at all the browns and yellows of the grain fields, only to be broken up by the even darker browns and earthy reds of structures that dotted the landscape. Every once in a while she would spot the greens of a lonely tree or perhaps a clump of bushes.

Yes, it was difficult living in a world where distractions are not sold to you, but Alli didn’t mind at all. Instead she got the beauty of nature and civilization coexisting with one another. Space wasn’t taken just because they could, every building had a reason, every path purposeful and direct. It was all very…real.

“Hey.” A whisper fluttered into her ear, breaking through the rustling grains. “It’s that weird girl.”

“Haha. What’s she doing with her dad? Isn’t she supposed to learn from her mom?”

“Don’t you know? She hates her mom!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Whenever my mom mentions anything about her, her mom gets really sad.”

“Wow. She’s even weirder than I thought.”

Their laughter faded away as they inevitably got further away. Alli sighed. Rumors, gossip, all of it was not new to her. She tried not caring once, and it didn’t end well. So maybe, this time, this second chance she got, perhaps she’ll be given the chance to care.

“Ah, here we are.” Her dad came to a stop at the very edge of their farmland. “We’ll take it slow today so you can get the hang of things, but basically, I’m going to start cutting the grain and then you’ll tie up the grain, okay?”

Alli nodded.

“Great! Now, see how I cut the grain…” He then proceeded to expertly cut a good amount of grain and tossed it over his shoulder. “First I toss it over my shoulder and then you tie it up like this.” Her dad grabbed the twine and got out a knife. He measured some amount of the twine before cutting it. He grabbed the grain with the twin in both hands and with a quick movement he wrapped the grain securely and neatly around the midlength. “Did you get that?”

Alli nodded again. It looked simple enough. Measure, cut, grab, wrap, tie. Her dad handed her the knife with a stern warning to which she nodded again. After making sure that she was set, he went cutting and tossing. The grain that he tossed always seemed to land in the same place, miraculously forming a somewhat neat pile. Now suddenly panicked and overwhelmed started to try out the method.

It was safe to say that the first batch ended horribly. The wrap seemed safe enough but before she could tie it neatly, the grain stalks just slipped out of her grasp and went all over the place. Her dad seemed to notice and offered help, but she refused. The first step to caring, is to try.

It took many trials and errors, some of which even had cut her hands and arms, but she was determined to try. She gave herself ten trials and then another ten, and then another ten. With each failure, each literal drop of blood, sweat, and tears, the more frustration tore at her. Her throat was constricted and her arms felt like lead. Deep shuddering breaths seemed to wrack her very fibers of being.

She hadn’t realized that the world had gone blurry until a warm hand fell on her shoulder. Alli looked up, surprised and confused. It was her dad, but she couldn’t see his face very well. He must be disappointed, after all, she couldn’t even do one simple task right.

“M’sorry, hic, I’m sorryyyyy. I’m a…hic, a failure. I…I don’t wanna be…scared of mo…hic…mmm. I wanna…I wanna be helpful.” Her sobs threatened to take away her very breath, but she needed to try. To try to apologize, to try to explain, to do…anything.

“Shhh.” Big strong arms wrapped themselves around her, but it wasn’t oppressive and scary, no, it was comforting, gentle, and dare she say, loving. “There’s no need to explain yourself. We’re all different and sometimes that means taking a while to love your mom and once you do, I guarantee you, that it will be the most magical thing ever.” Alli could practically hear the smile and her sobs got ever quieter. “Do you know why we called you Alli? It’s because your mom knew that you would become a strong and brave person, determined to do what you think is right. Allims, the most resilient and beautiful flowers that can be found and thrive in some of the harshest climates known in the Kingdom and beyond. So, my dear Alli, there’s no need to cry when you can’t do something. Just try a different way, a new way, a way that suits you.”

“Sniff…okay.” The tears stopped flowing and her heaves settled down to small hics every now and again.

“Good girl. Say, I’m almost done, so when I get the last stalks over here, we could do them together. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good.”

After that, the two spent quite a while tying up the stalks for storage. It was hard at first, especially since she didn’t have the wingspan to fully encompass the entire sheaf, but once she figured out that she could loop three smaller sheafs together, it became a lot easier and was even fun.

The harder part of the task though, was delivering those tied up bundles back into the storage house. Her dad offered to do it alone, but Alli was determined to help, much to his amusement. It was on one of these runs that she noticed a small house by the river, isolated from any field, but close enough to the village center that it didn’t fall from obscurity. She commented on this to her dad.

“Ah, that’s Elder Lhobo’s house. He’s kind of a nomad, comes in every once in a while to visit, he says. He’s a very strange guy but he’s really nice. He gave permission to the Chief that anyone who doesn’t have a place to stay can spend the night in his house.”

“Anyone?”

“Well anyone the Chief deems as trustworthy. Elder Lhobo’s house has come in handy a few times, like that one time Grinsel’s house burned down or that one time the grain festival had too many visiting merchants to house properly.”

“He sounds like a very nice man.” Alli mused, her eyes tracing the patterns formed in the wood. It was intricate and wholly different from any of the other houses, but the house was too far for her to make out the signs clearly.

“He is.” He hefted up the three sheafs he was carrying with a grunt. “Now come on, I want to get home before our dinner gets cold.”

“Okay.