UNLOVED

I'd barely slept last night, waking up every hour and worrying about everything under the sun, from the minuscule to the terrifying. What I should wear to make the perfect impression, whether I could really justify spending so much money, whether this was a scam. Every noise made me jolt, whether it was the elevator rattling or a neighbor coming home. All day, I was an anxious mess. It was as if I knew tonight's meeting would change something forever, but unsure what that could've been for certain. My stomach kept twisting, so I had nothing to eat but a tiny bowl of reheated rice and a huge cup of iced latte, delivered.

I threw on an outfit I thought was simple, but mature: a red cardigan, my favorite skirt + stockings, and comfy blue sneakers, even if my perfume smelled like alcoholic gummies and my hair felt greasy despite having been washed. I rushed out the door by 18:10, running past all the screens trying to sell me cookies and soda, beaming offers into my wrist tag. I jumped into the bus, scanned my tag and kept staring at the holographic map for the entire ride, ignoring the "Halloween 2062 sale! Fresh pumpkins!" ads lining it. 

Stepping out of the bus and turning the corner after a hundred or so meters of walking past techwear punks and old buildings covered in screens and cables, I finally saw it: a doorway of black glass reflecting every single neon sign in the alley. Above it, white letters read UNLOVED, flickering to be U-LOVE- every few seconds, reflecting against the wet pavement. The door had stickers on its edges: 18+, no cameras, no police, and a skull with VR goggles. Excitement and fear mixed with the latte in my stomach. 

I forced myself forward. I'd come too far to turn back now.

I looked at my reflection on the door. My eyeliner looked even more uneven under the neon, and my tag stubbornly chose to remain yellow. I took one more deep breath and pressed my palm to the cold handle, feeling the bassline from inside vibrate against my wrist.

Inside, I immediately felt damp warmth, the smell of cigarettes and music reverberating through my entire body. Some sort of slow industrial with a harsh snare played, a male voice singing about shame and skin over the instrumentals.

The bartender stared at me through her short black hair and dark makeup, covered by some orange goggles. Her expression told me I didn't belong. "Help you with anything?" She looked up from a glass. Her cropped techwear showed mesh cutouts over pale skin, RGB cat ears pulsing with light.

"Um, I'm here for Alex." I tried to smile.

She swiped something on her tag. "Alex... let me check... He's in Booth 9. VR area's in the back. Booths are numbered." She pointed to another room. "Have fun," she muttered, going back to cleaning glasses.

"Thank you." I walked past the tables. The bargoers were loud, shouting over the music, arguing over the fighting game they were playing. It looked like they were having some sort of tournament. 

The bar looked just like in the photos. White leather chairs, purple lights, and a VR zone with a load of booths lining the walls. There were some rooms for gamers, but most weren't in use. The place seemed mostly empty around this time.

Some of the VR booths were in use. The doors were made of glass; the ones with holograms saying "free" were transparent, but the ones marked "in use" were fogged up. Some guy stepped out of Booth 2, looking all sweaty. I don't want to know what he was doing in there.

I stepped aside, but then found Booth 9. The hologram on it said "free," I tried to open it, but---

"Tsumiki?" A male voice rang out from behind me.

I turned around to see a decently well-dressed man sipping from a glass at one of the tables. He looked to be in his late twenties to early thirties. Just like me, he didn't look like he fit in. The only wearable he wore was a small monovisor on his left eye, shimmering with data readouts. He wore a pressed white shirt, dark slacks and clean shoes, looking like he should've been at a bank, not this grimy bar.

I smiled, feeling somewhat safer to see someone who wasn't a cyberpunk. "Y-yes. Are you Alex?"

He looked me up and down before smiling back. "Indeed I am. Made it here safe, I hope? New Town can be rough. I can drive you home after this, if you want."

I felt warning signs go off in my head, but didn't want to shut him down. "I.. took the bus. It was fine."

"Here alone?" The question rolled off his tongue like he was used to asking it.

I lifted my wrist. "Nope. My friend's waiting for me to check in when I'm done."

He replied too quickly. "Good. Just making sure." He then tapped the seat next to him, not too close. "Sit. We can talk before we start."

When I did, he placed a large carrying bag on the table, opening it up to reveal foam compartments with electronic equipment inside. "There she is, Asteron VirtuRig." He tapped every component like he was listing them off. "Headset, goggles, neurocap wreath, wrist and shin bands for mocap, scent module... good as new." He glanced at me, his eyes way too flat. "Scent module's got an apple pie pack installed. Thought you'd like that."

Something in my chest jumped. I nodded a bit too fast. "Can I test it?"

He shrugged, trying to joke. "Thought you'd never ask. Let me put it on for you." He took the neurocap and wiped the nodes down with a cloth, brushing my hair aside without asking, then set it on my head. The neural nodes touched my temples, while the capture nodes touched points on my cheeks and jaw.

"Might tingle a bit. Just the neural map doing its thing."

I nodded, standing stiff as he clipped the mocap bands around my wrists and shins and adjusted the goggles.

"I've skipped the manual calibration and loaded up an autumn environment for you to make testing a little quicker." He put the rest of it on, mentioning small caveats about most of the components: the scent module would spray a mist so I could smell it too, headset would hug down onto my head, and the mocap bands would be delayed on first run. Every component needed to get used to me in some way. I felt like I'd learned a lot more and actually felt excited, entering the booth.

Inside, the sounds of the bar immediately disappeared. The door shut like an airlock, feeling weirdly final. Even the screen on my wrist tag dimmed and said "POLITE MODE." The rig felt a little heavy on me, but I thought I could get used to it. I kept thinking of all the exciting streams I could do for my fans. I imagined singing to them from a large VR stage. My heart fluttered for a moment before I flipped the goggles down and the power switch to "on."

I felt a slight tingle from the neural connection spots on my temples as the rig whirred, the headset and goggles adjusting themselves to my face. The screen showed a loading bar for a few moments before lighting up with a virtual park during the autumn. Brown leaves littered the ground, some were falling from trees above. It was set during golden hour, looking like a distant memory.

Debug text on the right side read:
FACIAL CAPTURE: 20%
GAIT MAP: 15%
NEURAL MAP: 16%
MOVEMENT MAP: 10%
SCENT: WARMING...

The neural map seemed to not require any controllers to actually move around. I felt like I was actually there, walking. I hopped around a few times, literally feeling the leaves crunching beneath my feet. I ran around, threw some leaves in the air and watched them fly as I twirled. 

The scent module sprayed its mist once. I instantly smelled warm apple pie, getting lost in the atmosphere. I was getting a little dizzy, so I sat down on one of the benches and admired the environment that way. When I looked down, I saw a featureless default grey model and laughed to myself.

The mist sprayed again, making me feel more lightheaded and a little sleepy. Calm down, I told myself. It was because I'd barely eaten all day, and the iced latte was certainly not doing wonders to my nerves. I imagined myself walking through this park with my fans, in my Tsumiki model and all... maybe I could wiggle my ears and tail too? That'd be...

The mist spritzed again. It smelled less and less like apple pie, and more like medicine mixed with alcohol.

I felt myself getting more and more sleepy, so I stood up and tried to shake it off, but my knees ended up meeting the padded floor. I tried to lift my hand to leave the booth, but I was rapidly losing control of my body. The mist now kept spraying about once every second, burning my eyes. All I could do was close them.

FACIAL CAPTURE: 100%

A breeze told me booth door had opened. Someone was there.

The screens in the goggles went black, and my consciousness soon followed, the world swallowing me whole.