20 - Boiling

I was marching on the guild with Toast at my side. We stood in front of the large doors that opened up into the guild hall.

"Are you ready buddy?"

~Yis!~

I did a double take because so far Toast had only managed to say 'Mi' for me (and 'goblin' meat), 'Ga' for Kana, 'Ma' for Maja, and his favourite; 'no'. He didn't know Tamon well enough to even learn 'Ta' yet. Yis was a new addition to his vocabulary that I didn't have time to celebrate, but I couldn't help myself and bent down to ruffle his fur and tell him he was a good boy.

We recomposed ourselves and threw the doors open. No one was inside to see our grand entrance except a lonely counter clerk, who smiled at me and asked how she could help me as any clerk would.

"I need to speak with the guildmaster."

"I'm afraid that's not possible sir. Is there something I can do for you?"

She's good. A pro at avoiding escalations. But I'm a pro too thanks to my time as an insurance agent!

"Unfortunately miss, I don't think so. I have a serious problem that I believe the guildmaster is directly involved with. I simply must speak with him."

"My deepest apologies sir, but the guildmaster is not available without an appointment."

"I'd like to make an appointment then, for as soon as possible."

"Of course sir, right away."

She pulled out a fat ledger from below the counter and plopped it down with a loud thump. She showed some strain opening the heavy book and began flipping through pages.

"Wonderful news sir, the guildmaster seems to be available at the beginning of the year. Only 3 years from now."

Giving me the runaround, is she?

"I'm afraid that's unacceptable. Now, I know it's not your fault that he's a busy man, but I'm going to need to talk to your manager."

Her customer service facade broke for the slightest of moments and I heard her click her tongue while she kept her plastic smile.

"Right away sir. Please excuse me for a moment."

She glided smoothly to a back room, and reappeared a few minutes later with another woman. The manager had slicked back and neatly cut hair, sharp glasses with a chain connected to them and draped around her neck, and a white blouse tucked into a pencil skirt. If I wasn't a married man (in my heart), she'd have been the second or third most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Her tone on the other hand left something to be desired.

"Sir, I'll need you to refrain from causing a disturbance in the guild hall."

"I'm not causing a disturbance, I'm asking to speak with the guildmaster about a disturbance."

"Sir, there's no need to raise your voice, I'm sure I'll be able to assist you without us having to intrude on the guildmaster's very busy schedule."

"Alright, have it your way. Maybe you can explain why adventurers have been harassing my shop?"

"Unfortunately I do not have the slightest idea of what you're referring to. We at the Guild have no control over the actions of adventurers."

I could see I wasn't going to get anywhere with the clerks, so I tried to steer the conversation back to seeing the guildmaster. 

"That's why I want to talk to the man in charge of this place. The adventurers he's been sending over to cause trouble for us have loose lips, and they've already outed the guild for hiring them to spy on us."

I didn't want to throw Tamon under the bus directly, so I bent the truth a little and blamed it on whoever else they'd sent to us. Tamon had told us they sent someone to his father's house one time to follow up, but I guess since they didn't pay him up front they didn't care to chase him down when he never came back with information.

The manager lady paused and adjusted her glasses.

"It is with my deepest apologies that I am unable to assist you at this time, and must ask you to leave the guild hall at once."

She bowed with a professionalism I hadn't seen since leaving the Japan I knew, but my admiration of her perfect 45 degree bow was outshone by my utter disbelief in her feigning ignorance.

"Are you serious? What is this?"

She raised her hand as if gesturing for me to stop talking, and just as I was about to protest she cast 'Barrier+', and I felt a wall push against me until my face had squished up. It continued to force me back until I was outside the guild hall where it stopped. I almost unlocked Barrier+ for Toast because it lets you choose what to keep out of a large scale Area of Effect, but I opted for Shield and Shield+ instead because I didn't think Toast was cognizant enough for that kind of selective choice.

Outside the large doors, I peered in through the barrier to see the manager lady and counter clerk politely waving. I also saw Toast still sitting at the foot of the counter, panting and smiling, looking at me like he was waiting for me to come back in. That's when I had a brilliant idea.

"Toast! Barrier Breaker!"

He cocked his head and his eye glazed over.

You have got to be kidding me.

I pounded on the barrier in frustration. He had been doing so well with reacting to skill commands lately! 

Toast scratched his ear, stood up, and trotted over to me casually. The clerk ladies finally caught a glimpse of him and held each other in fear. Once he had gotten close to me, I tried one more time in desperation.

"Toast! Use Barrier Breaker!"

He spun around and looked at me expectantly. Of course he wouldn't just know to use it, he's never had to before. It was the one skill we didn't need in the woods outside the city. Only mid-tier monsters even have barrier skills and I avoided any request higher than a D. I put my head in my hands feeling shame and regret. Then, Toast strolled over to me, walked through the barrier, and the whole thing shattered, just like that.

I looked on in awe of how stupid some of these game-like mechanics worked, then turned my attention to the clerk ladies, and smiled at them sinisterly. They squeaked and hugged each other tighter as Toast and I waltzed back into the guild hall. I approached the counter and lifted Toast so his collar and emblem were in full view. The manager glanced down at it and then back up at me, and I calmly requested once again to see the guildmaster. All of the sudden I heard a ringing, and the ladies must have heard it too because they perked up at the same time.

~Hehehehe~

Toast smiled and panted and the women screamed.

"Y-yes sir, right away! Please allow me a few minutes to ensure he's in his office!"

The first clerk fearfully whispered to the manager, but it wasn't quiet enough that I couldn't hear at this distance with her voice shaking as much as it was.

"B-but he told us not to-"

"Cassile, hush! You heard him cast Barrier Breaker, you need to be at least level 75 to unlock that skill. Plus he's got a Spirit Partner and I for one intend to go home to my children tonight!"

I was lucky neither of them had been the clerk who registered me at level 1.

The manager scurried off into the back room again, and 'Cassile' chased after her crying. I waited for a while and worried they'd given me the slip, before a familiar slick-back haircut reappeared through the door, gesturing for me to enter. As I passed I could see tear streaks on her cheeks despite her professional and perfect plastic smile.

Through the back room there was a door that led into a hallway with a grand staircase. The manager repositioned herself at the bottom of the stairs and gestured in the same way for me to go ahead.

"It's the door with the golden Shishi knocker, sir."

I ascended the long stairs adorned with a luxury carpet that reminded me of the single indulgent night I spent in the fancy house in Kana's village. I tried not to think of the pillow. 

When I reached the hall at the top I saw an ornate lion knocker on a door. On closer inspection it was a lion with horns, and I felt disappointed at the level of creativity of whoever had designed the monsters in this world. Everything is just normal animals with horns or wings! And again with the Japanese naming system!

I used the knocker, and a deep voice beckoned for me to enter.

I opened the door and was greeted by warm lights, and regal furniture. There were two couches on either side of a coffee table decorated with gold and jewels. Portraits of beautiful women blanketed every wall, and the lavishness of it all seemed... excessive.

A very large man sat at one of the couches, and gestured for me to sit across from him. As I passed his desk, from the corner of my eye I noticed a paper with "Silver Bounty" written on it in the same way Kana had shown me to write it. I practiced writing it in this world's goofy characters so much I'd recognize it anywhere. 

What's that about?

Toast jumped up first and made himself comfortable on a flashy pillow, and I sat and admired the guildmaster's physique. He was muscular from head to toe, and the visible parts of his arms were covered in battle scars. I couldn't tell where his hair ended and his beard began, and if it had been under different circumstances I'd have been infatuated with his RPG-esque character design. As I was taking in the details of his dignified vest and dress pants, his voice boomed out and startled me.

"I'll just cut to the chase here, boy. You're going to close your shop, or I'm going to burn it to the ground."