Slay Queen Slay

The gates slammed open around the circle and the floor split into lanes. As promised, one team didn’t hesitate—they beelined straight for us. Not even subtle in their intentions and biases.

“RAHHHH!!!”

Whether they thought it was strategy or they hated the sight of a Crystal competing didn’t matter.

For Py Pir stepped forth and shielded the party with all of her.

The frontliner hurled his mace onto Py Pir’s body, the swing being the weight of two tons of pure steel—!

Plunk.

“Wha…?”

The second hammered her coil and slid off her scaled plating with sparks.

“Bleed, you damn lamia!!”

The third was… ill-advised. It was a hook across the cheek!

The arena hissed as one as Py Pir’s neck was shot back by the force.

Little did this foolish person know… Py Pir had been conditioning her whole body for this exact moment.

Her skin remained flawless.

It was in the orphanage courtyard that we trained her body relentlessly.

Py Pir’s head turned back in a smooth motion. She dabbed a thumb under her eye.

“My mascara…” she remarked mildly. “Ladies don’t appreciate that kind of behavior, y’know?”

She smiled. For the foolish combatant had no idea her bone was forged in the fiery dunes of The Kingdom of Sand!

The fox-banner brawler—same genius who tried to sucker-punch me earlier—gulped so hard I swore I heard it.

\\

When we were done in his party, they were a groaning heap of regret on the soil.

The other fighters turned toward the scene, stunned.

As Daisy mended Py Pir’s wounds, I felt Daisy’s realization that they were definitely going to try and take advantage of the situation.

Just as I sensed it, I saw multiple people turn toward us.

This was going to be a problem.

\\

“Arghhhh…” That was the chorus echoing around us now.

Well—in a sense, it was a problem. Only, our problem was being able to explain the utter destruction we dished out to our opponents.

We hadn’t expected to wipe the floor with them so thoroughly, too. The entire fight had lasted maybe fifteen minutes. Not even enough time for the crowd’s first round of bets to settle.

The Proctor wasn’t trying to inhibit us at all. No. The bastard was fattening us up—setting us loose as an example. If his speeches were anything to go by, he thought adventurers today had grown too soft.

We were his spectacle, his cudgel to prove a point.

The other initiates couldn’t even touch us.

I knew two years of near-constant training would get us somewhere, but nothing like this. I’d only cast seven spells. Seven! And not a single one was [White Flame!].

If only we had an EXP measurer like the Proctor did, we’d know just how much we were stockpiling. But even if that’s not how it worked exactly, the thrill in my veins said we were leveling. Fast.

The arena was eerily quiet before a smattering of reluctant claps.

“By unanimous decision of the examiners…” the Proctor’s voice rang out, smooth with false gravitas. “East Gate claims the Rank C adventurer slot. Everybody else will range from E to D by default and will have to go through our Gauntlet the hard way.”

“E-Eh…” Daisy breathed. “Wish he’d hurry up… I’m getting that migraine again.”

Uh oh… “Hang in there, Daisy.”

“Now, would you like to say anything to the audience?” the proctor continued.
“Perhaps the coveted tradition of declaring your group name?”

Oh god. This was by far the hardest thing we’d faced yet.

“Surely the Crystal Elf would like to choose?”

“You’d be wrong, sir… haha….” My laugh came out brittle.

“Well, I suggested the Demolition Crew, but nobody liked it…” Piper said, smirking.

“Imagine we’re forty and still using that name. Gods…” Daisy groaned.

Engel raised a hand. “Well, I’m partial to… Team Acumen.”

“Say that again?” Piper blinked.

“Well, we’ll decide later,” I cut in quickly, my heart hammering. “Preferably when we’re not half-dead.” I cleared my throat. “However…”

This was it.

“We do have something to say, Proctor.”

“Well, the stage is yours. I don’t control your life.”

Our little rehearsal, our practice speech. When Py Pir divulged into this age old tradition of celebrating the victor in Sunlight’s Adventurer Trials, I knew what we needed to practice.

“Please, everyone—come to East Gate where we will humbly welcome you!”

The others caught on instantly.

We all bowed at the same time.

Whereupon we did something completely inspired by Japan.

Kyu kyu kyu!

Our hands pressed together, we leaned forward in unison like the master maids of Japanese cafes!

Kyu kyu kyu!

Then I went full commit—clasping my hands to my cheek with wide, sparkling eyes. "Our mountains are so beautiful, and our people work so hard to make everyone feel welcome!"

Piper struck a dramatic pose, one hand on her hip while pointing skyward. "And that’s not all! Our businesses and products are on the cutting edge. Observe!"

She grabbed a healing poultice from her many pockets and walking to a fallen opponent, she poured it over the opponent’s cut. It healed nearly instantly! The crowd gasped at that.

Daisy, despite her obvious mortification, managed a shy finger-to-lips gesture and channeled her emotions into her performance. "And... um... peaceful meadows for those who prefer quiet contemplation?"

Engel, in her earnest way, gave a perfect 90-degree bow while her voice somehow achieved maximum adorability. "We promise to do our very best for all our guests!"

Now, for the big finale!

We made a star formation.

"Please visit us!!"

The crowd blinked.

I heard some wet coughing in the crowd.

I just prayed to whatever Japanese gods might be listening that the moe factor would work its magic in a fantasy world too!

[SALARYMAN STATUS SCREEN]

[The Capital] Reputation gain! +45

Oh, thank god!

Cheering, cheering, cheering abound!

"Yes!!" Engel cried. "Practicing for the dance suuuucked."

Yuree-El shot her a look. "You know people are going to make this act an expectation, right?"

"Aww... Yuree," Py Pir chastised. "Don't crush her hopes and dreams like that."

The cheers and jeers from our kyu kyu performance were still ringing when something happened that'd change the course of our lives irrevocably.

The same kid who’d tried to sucker-punch me earlier stumbled forward. At first, I thought he was charging again.

Then he collapsed.

“Oi—Korin?!” one of his teammates cried, dropping to their knees. The boy was writhing, froth gathering at the corners of his mouth. His skin went pale, his breath shallow.

“Poison!” someone shouted.

The arena tilted on its axis.

“Crystal! Did you tamper with our food?!” another adventurer roared.

“We didn’t do anything of the sort!” Daisy gracefully shouted back. “When was there even time to poison him?”

“Rigging East Gate’s exam wasn’t enough?!” another spat. “Now you’re targeting fellow adventurers in training?!”

The noise swelled like a storm. Booing, jeering, fists shaking from the stands. Especially from the section draped in the kid’s hometown colors… they were out for blood.

[SALARYMAN STATUS SCREEN]

[The Capital] Reputation loss! -200

Oh, come on!

Daisy grabbed my wrist. Even Engel wavered mid-air, panic clear in her glassy eyes.

The Proctor descended and obscured our line of sight, as if to shield us.

“If you value your lives,” his voice boomed clear as day, even through the crowd’s cries, “I advise you to come and follow me.”