Chapter 36: A Lizard-Boy, Two Humans, an Elf, and Three Skeletons Walk Into a Bar…

I woke up tangled in warmth, arms wrapped around Serine like we were back in the palace of Virelia, me seventeen, her twelve, nights spent hidden in the library, pretending we were studying but really just hiding from the world. She’d clearly missed me—although I wasn’t going to admit I noticed.

Morning light filtered through the cracks of the mansion windows. I stretched, nudging her gently.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” I murmured, voice low and teasing.

“Mmm…” she groaned, hugging me tighter. “I… missed you.”

I smirked. “Wow. That’s a lot of honesty before breakfast.”

Serine rolled her eyes but stayed where she was, still pressed against me. Honestly, I could get used to this.

Cassian appeared soon after, stormy eyes taking in the scene. “Uh… morning,” he said cautiously, clearly trying to process what he’d walked into.

“Good morning,” I said, letting Serine adjust beside me. “So… yes, I’m here. In case you were wondering where I’ve been for the past three months. I, uh… teleported over as soon as I could. Had a few ‘minor problematics’ to wrap up first.” I shrugged, perfectly casual. “Time’s relative, isn’t it?”

Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Whatever...”

“I know, patience isn’t your strong suit, but somehow you survived.”

Serine looked at me, exasperated, half amused, half reproachful. “Three months,” she whispered.

I let the silence hang a beat, letting them stew before I moved on.

All of us finnally were gathered in a table on the great hall of the mansion.

“Introductions first, darlings. Again, Aelith.” I gestured across the table. “Yes, the elf you don’t trust, but relax. She’s on my side. She’s been… playing a role. You know, the usual “elf princess-I don’t like my husband” drama. But she proved useful, so put a pin in the paranoia.” I exageratedly air quoted.

Serine and Cassian sighed.

Aelith inclined her head, serene as ever. “I serve her Highness Rissa. Always. She is the true queen, and I would serve her until my last breath.”

“Next,” I said, sweeping my hand toward the table. “Arkanthos. He’s… well, he’s a tiny bit of a skeleton on a big ego trip, my 5000-year-old archmage companion. Sat in my bag during our little Liraen adventures, so yes, he’s practically family now. Aelith, meet Arkanthos.”

“Greetings,” he said, skull tilting with a faint creak. “A pleasure. Sorry for not vowing to you princess Aelith." Said Arkanthos smiling proudly of his own joke.

Aelith’s smile was faint. Clearly, she’d learned to survive this circus without batting an eye.

“And of course, rissa, Cassian, Arkanthos, let me introduce my other dear companions,” I said, motioning to the corner with exaggerated flair. “Splinterbutt, commander of my undead army from the Mist Caves.”

The hulking skeleton shifted with a creak that made Cassian and Serine flinch. I ignored them, because, honestly, I had bigger jokes to introduce.

“And Cluckles,” I said, sweeping my hand toward the massive skeletal chicken. The look on their faces was priceless. “Yes. A giant skeletal chicken. I hate chickens, but I love chaos. And yes, it’s a joke only I understand. Don’t ask questions. Enjoy the absurdity.”

“Cluckoooo!” Said Cluckles following my sarcasm as if the giant chicken understood what was going on.

Cassian and Serine opened their mouth but wisely closed it again at the same time.

Then came the part I knew would sting a little. Serine leaned forward. “Rissa… we’ve tried. For months. Every manuscript, every alchemical note. Nothing on… death. Nothing to help.”

I nodded, sipping my wine with perfect casualness. “I suspected as much. Altheryon’s work, fascinating in its time, but limited. He could summon the dead—on a scale so tiny it wouldn’t impress anyone beyond his lab. He tried, he failed, and died of old age, frustrated and mortal.”

Arkanthos chuckled softly. “Understatement, my lady. But accurate.”

I leaned back, eyes narrowing slightly. “The truth is, raising the dead isn’t for everyone. You have to share part of your soul with them. Altheryon had a normal, finite soul. Push too far, and you just… die. I? Infinite soul. Reborn countless times. That makes me… well, perfect for this sort of thing.”

Serine’s frustration was obvious. “So… you already knew all of this?”

“Of course,” I said softly. “Knowledge is nice, but what matters is keeping the people I care about alive. That’s why I teleported you here, out of reach of everything nasty. You’re safe, and that’s all that ever mattered.”

Cassian exhaled, finally relaxing his stance. “Safe,” he echoed.

I raised an eyebrow at him, smiling faintly. “Exactly. My family. The rest is just… optional homework.”

Serine let out a long sigh, frustration easing into relief.

“Don’t worry, my little puppies,” I said, swirling the wine in my goblet like a true lunatic. “I’ve got everything under control. I have a grand plan for Mr. Grimmy McDrama-Cape”—yes, the Death Avatar and his stupid little game. This is going to be so much fun, trust me. Tonight, we’re going to have a blast.” I laughed, finishing what must have been my third glass of wine.

“Aelith,” I said, turning to the elf. “Everything should be ready, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Your Highness. Without a doubt,” she replied, calm as ever.

“Perfect. Everyone, to your feet! We’re heading back to Liraen once more, but this time—finally—I hope to get to the desserts before anyone interrupts me!”

No one got the joke, but their trust in me was more than enough.

And with that, I teleported us all to the other side of the world.