MY SECRET BASE

After I finished my bowl of ramen, I stepped outside, continuing my very adventure of touching grass. Until now, I’d been walking aimlessly as if I got kicked out of my house.

[NOTICE: YOU REALLY DID GET KICKED OUT]

But, now, it was as if, taking a sip of that ramen broth had unlocked some sort of hidden side quest in my mind.

I wanted to check out a place that was once part of my daily life, a comforting place that I haven’t visited since that incident.

[NOTICE: THE READERS WANT TO KNOW WHAT INCIDENT ARE YOU REFFERING TO]

Kekeke! I love that eagerness. Nice! Now I would drag this novel and make it even longer, making you guys curious for my back-story.

Readers: “Bro… We aren’t even that curious…”

Wait! I was supposed to break the 4th wall. But, you guys are breaking into my personal novel.

[NOTICE: YOU HAVE UNLOCKED A 5TH WALL BREAK. YOUR STORY IS NOW COMPLETELY COOKED]
Readers: “We were already cooked, the moment we started reading this.”

Crossing the rusted gate, I set foot in what was once my domain… though now it was just a park, the kind of place you’d expect in a low budget slice-of-life anime. A few kids on the swings, grass that looked like it hadn’t leveled up since I became a shut in, and one lonely bench that might’ve been older than me.

It’s funny how everything around the city has changed but this place has remained the same.

I sat on the bench, staring at the ground. Painful memories, the ones I’d buried deep, started creeping back into my mind.

This was where it happened. That day. That line. That—

[NOTICE: YOU’RE BEING TOO DRAMATIC. READERS ARE GETTING BORED.]

Tch! Let me finish. So, what I was saying is that —

“Let’s get married”. A high-pitched voice, sharp enough to shatter my dramatic monologue, interrupted me.

TO BE CONTINUED

Readers: “Wait! You are ending it?! It’s just 300 something words!”

Get used to it. What do you expect from a gag-parody novel of a lazy author, who also happens to be a weeb.

Readers: “Where is your consistency? We want refund”

[SYSTEM: REFUND REQUEST DENIED]

TO BE CONTINUED (For Real This Time)