Chapter 20: Protection

McKinley scanned their surroundings as Bryan’s men surrounded their caravan.

“We seem to be outnumbered 16 to 1.”

Hanna clicked his tongue.

“It’s too dangerous to keep on going…” he turned to the wagon. “Iris! Get us out of here!”

Hanna waited, but the only response he got was a soft, hissing sound coming from inside the carriage.

“Dear God!” Hanna shouted, “Is Iris having another one of her episodes?”

“I’ll handle it,” McKinley insisted, dashing into the body of the carriage, “just keep them busy for me!”

“Easier said than done,” Hanna grumbled, pointing his claws to the bandits.

Inside the carriage, McKinley spotted Iris’s body sprawled across the floor, her muscles contorting in a terrible epileptic fit.

“There, there,” he spoke softly, covering his wife’s face with a silk handkerchief, “everything’s going to be alright now.”

McKinley stroked Iris’ hand, and as he did so, a figure leapt out at him from behind.

“…if you won’t come out to fight me…” Bryan screamed, “then I’ll just have to bring the fight to you!” He raised his hand into the air. “Power: Free Silver!”

A sharp, silver spike materialized behind Bryan, then hurtled towards his opponent at breakneck speed. Without turning around, McKinley lifted up his right arm, causing the projectile to pierce through his elbow, slowing it to a stop just before meeting his head.

“It’s okay, darling,” McKinley continued, his tender eyes focused solely on his wife as blood poured from his arm, “that was just the sound of leaves rustling in the wind.”

Bryan furrowed his brow.

“If there’s one thing I hate more than losing…” he muttered as a dozen silver spikes materialized behind him. “…it’s being ignored!”

McKinley took a glance behind as the sea of spikes shot at him, then quietly wrapped his remaining arm around his quivering wife.

“Don’t worry, darling,” he spoke softly, “no matter what the world throws at us…I’ll always be there to protect you…”

“Cheap words!” Bryan screamed as the spikes rocketed towards him.

McKinley gave a somber chuckle.

“You’re not wrong, Bryan…after all, protection cheapens everything…”

A dazzling ray of light suddenly burst out McKinley’s body, the silver spikes freezing in place upon striking against his glistening armor.

“…everything,” McKinely continued, “but men!”

“Wh…what?”

Bryan stood still, his eyes transfixed on the glowing light from McKinley’s Election. However, it didn’t take long for Bryan to come back to his senses.

“Seriously?” he squealed. “You’ve been Elected?!? BEFORE MEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!”

“Bryan.”

Bryan stopped talking as McKinley turned back to face him.

“If you aren’t able to lower your voice around my wife,” he continued, “then I’m afraid I’ll have to shut you up myself…”

Around this same time, Ruth Hayes sat slumped on a tree stump, her feet tapping with agitation as she looked over her starving soldiers across the camp.

These poor lads, she lamented to herself, Oh how I wish I could teleport them all home to safety! But with my haggard body as it is… she thought, looking to the Presidential Seal on her right hand, its shriveled appearance nearly matching that of her severed left arm, …I’m afraid I don’t even have enough Executive Energy to get myself out of this mess, let alone all of them. She brought her hand to her face, closing her eyes in prayer. Please, God; send us some help!

“We’ve got company!” a scout screamed from the outskirts of camp.

Hayes looked up, her eyes shining with tears as McKinley’s caravan rode up towards her.

“God bless you all!” she shouted, getting up and slapping Hanna on his back as he disembarked off the wagon.

Hayes turned to McKinley, her eyes focused on his severed arm and freshly formed Presidential Seal.

“…I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for us…” she whispered, “you’re one of the bravest and finest officers I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” McKinley replied, looking down to his injured shoulder. “My only regret now is that I’ll have to drop out of this war before the battle has been won.”

“What?” Hayes exclaimed. “Dropping out? Over one measly arm?” She waved her own stubbed arm to him with a grin. “Lad, you’ll be moving faster than ever with all that extra weight off your shoulders! And I assure you, once I teach you a few one-armed techniques I’ve been developing, why, you’ll see that you’ve still got plenty of fight left in you!”

McKinley smiled softly, throwing a proud salute to Hayes with his remaining arm.

“Yes ma’am!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

LBJ clicked his tongue as he stared out at McKinley’s severed arm lying on the floor.

“I thought you were just a passive fool,” he snarled, “but cutting off a fake arm in order to shake up your opponent? That’s some high-level manipulation if I’ve ever seen it.”

“Thank you!” McKinley replied sincerely. “To tell the truth, it was rather difficult for me to keep up the act, what with me needing to purposefully slow my left arm down to match the speed of my sluggish prosthetic.” He kicked one of the golden ornaments on his severed arm. “In fact, I’d wager my inability to completely close this gap was what unconsciously led you to target my slower right side with all your attacks.”

“Close the gap…” LBJ widened his eyes, “you don’t mean…!”

McKinley nodded his head.

“Now that I’ve shown you my hand,” he said crouching down, “I’m done with slowing myself down!”

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McKinley Flashback II. Rutheford Hayes was not actually one of the troops that William McKinley supplied during the Civil War, but he was one of William’s commanding officers and greatly respected what William did for his fellow troops. The two would remain relatively close after Civil War, with Rutheford going so far as to say “I came to know [William McKinley] like a book, and love him like a brother.”

William Mckinley did not Lose an Arm. This happening in the book is mostly just a metaphor for him ultimately choosing to embrace the gold standard rather than a gold+silver standard after straddling this issue against Bryan, and is very loosely inspired by a quote of his saying "Rather than [be nominated], I would suffer the loss of [my] good right arm.”