Chapter 20: Healing Magic Part 2

It was at about this point that I remembered why I never got very far when it came to studying magic. Magic sucked, and so did everyone who ever wrote about magic. These textbooks were easily a thousand pages long, but each contained only about a hundred pages worth of actually useful information. The rest was fluff and poetry. I kid you not. Huge chunks of these books were filled with poetry, which was only tangentially related to the subject at hand. You’d think I could just skip those parts, right? Nope, because occasionally they included key details that were mentioned nowhere else in the book. Why hide essential details in a poem!?

I spent the next dozen or so loops trying to make my way through a single textbook, but didn’t even finish a chapter. While I had all the time in the world, I doubted my sanity would last if this was the rate I was going. I needed help, and since Roman wasn’t an option, I decided to ask someone a bit more knowledgeable.

“Logos, are you free?” I asked after sending Sally out of the room.

“You have a shockingly low level of reverence for the divine,” came his voice in that same overwhelming whisper as before. Thankfully, I was already sitting, so I didn’t fall over.

“Well, the divine stole my game and trapped me in it,” I countered back. “If somebody did that to you, would you respect them?”

A long pause followed those words, during which I quietly sipped some tea and tried to decipher how a poem about cats playing in a river could have any relevance to healing magic. While several minutes passed without another word, Logos was still there. I could feel the pressure from his presence. He just didn’t speak. It actually kind of reminded me of my dates with the prince, where we’d read together in silence. It was weirdly peaceful.

“You truly are a strange child,” he eventually said, breaking the silence.

“I know. I’ve had four parents across two separate worlds, and they’ve all told me that at least once.”

“What do you want?” he asked, sounding exasperated.

Before I answered, I took a moment to smirk over the fact that I had managed to exhaust a god. I’m sure there are a few humans who could claim that honor.

“I wanted to know if you could ask Eros for any tips on healing magic. This textbook is useless.”

A long pause followed my request, but it wasn’t like the comfortable one that had followed my previous question. Before now, this conversation had been easier than the last, with his words feeling far less overwhelming than during our earlier conversation, but that was no longer the case. Even without him speaking, I felt a weight from his presence that threatened to crush me. Clearly, I had upset him.

“Child, I can assure you that my sister would be of no help in your pursuits,” he eventually replied in a somewhat irritated voice, though as he did so, the pressure surrounding me decreased significantly.

“I apologize if I offended you. I just thought she could offer some advice as the creator of healing magic.”

“Ha. That child creates nothing but chaos,” he spat back, sounding far angrier and far less dignified than before.

“I don’t understand. The Church of Eros teaches that she brought healing magic to the world, and the Church of Logos, your church, doesn’t dispute that.”

“That is...technically correct,” he said with a deep sigh filled with anguish. “While my sister did bring healing magic to the people, it would be more accurate to say that she took credit for demanding a rushed release.”

Those words sent a shiver down my spine as I mentally returned to a nightmare that still haunted me almost two decades later. Again and again, my boss, a man with no actual experience in game development, insisted on deadlines that were not only tight but outright absurd. Our proposed timeline of two years was cut down to six months so we could hit the holiday market. We slept at our desks, worked eighteen-hour days, and were lucky to have even a single day off per week. Those who refused were fired or otherwise penalized, and in the end, he always took credit. If we somehow managed to push out a decent game, it was all thanks to his brilliant management, but if the game was a buggy mess that barely ran, well, that was all our fault for being lazy.

“Did your own sister really do something that horrible to you?”

“Her intentions were well-meaning, but terribly short-sighted. Healing magic was meant to be my ultimate gift to humanity. It was intended to be a way of ensuring humanity could live long and healthy lives, but as I was finalizing the first draft of my spell, a war broke out. At the time, humans were still small in numbers, and so while it would only be considered a minor skirmish today, at the time, it was considered a major conflict. Eros panicked, assured that her beloved humans would be wiped out, and in that panic, she acted recklessly. She took my incomplete spell and turned it into one of the laws of this world, or to put it in words you may better understand, she took a demo and released it as a full game.”

“That’s...that’s horrible, but couldn’t you have released the proper version later as a patch?”

“No,” he said sternly. “My sister and I are, to a certain extent, limitless. There is little we cannot do and even less that could hinder us. Should we so wish it, reality itself could be entirely rewritten with nothing more than a thought. That is a power that none should be allowed to wield, and which has been the ruin of countless gods across countless worlds. I refused to err as those before me had done, so my sister and I chose to limit ourselves with laws. These laws define every aspect of reality, as well as our ability to impact it. However, a law that can be changed by the very people it was meant to bind cannot be considered a law at all, so the first law of existence forbade us from ever changing or erasing a law.”

“That means that when Eros brought healing magic into the world, she made it a law and made it impossible for you to fix?”

“That is correct, child,” he replied, sounding almost sorrowful. “The framework I had created was not intended to be a law. It was intended to be run in a simulation of this world to see how it functioned, where only a randomly selected few would be granted the power, and each to a varying degree. This was all intended to serve as a test so I could balance healing magic before I released it into the world, but...”

“But when Eros released it early, she accidentally created a system where she was worshipped even more, and those with healing magic were revered as being handpicked by her.”

“Essentially,” Logos replied with a sigh. “She wanted to help people, and she did. Many lives were saved in that war by the sudden appearance of healers, but their numbers have always been too small to reach everyone. Untold masses have since died because of her actions, and that is why I do not claim credit for the creation of healing magic. Those deaths are on her hands, not mine.”

Suddenly, the powers I had been born with seemed far less impressive now that I knew they were the result of an idiot’s meddling. I had always believed, and been constantly told, that my natural talent in healing magic was a result of the goddess personally choosing me to become the next queen, and though I often questioned her choice, that belief still gave me confidence. Now I knew the truth. It had been nothing more than chance.

“I have an overwhelming urge to go hit that idiot and my old boss.”

“I thought you might, though I wouldn’t recommend it,” Logos lightly chastised, but with a slight chuckle. “While no human has ever been foolish enough to pick a fight with the divine, I can assure you that it would not end well for you. Oh, and as for your boss, there is no need to strike him. He is already suffering.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your death caused a rather significant stir in the company and the industry. While your boss attempted to blame it on your lifestyle, your coworkers did not let that narrative last long. They told the world the truth about the conditions they’d been forced to work under, and your boss was quickly let go. However, his actions were not forgotten. The industry turned him into the face of corporate greed and crunch culture. Finding work was quite difficult for him after that.”

“Did it make any difference?” I asked, desperate to know if my death had accomplished anything more than destroying my boss and generating some memes.

“My child, across the vast number of worlds that I have borne witness to, greed is perhaps the only constant. It is the fuel for both life and the advancement of society, and as such, there will always be those with power who exploit their workers for profit, especially in creative fields. However, your death was not in vain. Your coworkers and many others were inspired by your death and have fought endlessly for better working conditions. Your death mattered and has never been forgotten.”

For the third time, Logos grew quiet. He said not a word for several minutes and simply allowed me to cry, but I knew he was still there. His presence, once overwhelming, now felt comforting and protective.