A kid without love

Nadia

I open my eyes and get up. I see Akanke, already standing in front of a new window. This time the light radiating from it is amber.

«Please, this way,» says Akanke, motioning for us to come closer.

Søren approaches hesitantly, fists clenched. Even Laila seems uneasy, staring at the window with something close to fear. «I’m not doing it,» Søren mutters, his voice a low growl as he freezes in place.

«You’re not obliged to,» Akanke replies calmly, her smile unwavering. «But if you don’t face what haunts you, you’ll never move forward.»

He doesn’t answer. He just lowers his gaze, but his hands start trembling. With every breath he takes, the amber glow of the window intensifies.

“I don’t like seeing him like this. If it’s true that going in there will make him feel better, then I have to help him.” I walk up and grab his hand. He shoots me a sickened look and yanks it away. “Why did he follow me before if he hates me so much? I don’t understand.” I feel my eyes welling up. «Nadia, I—»

«You’re mean!» I shout, and run into the window. The moment I step inside, I’m surrounded by amber water. I hold my breath, thrashing my arms to try and get back out.

«Relax,» says a voice behind me. I turn and see a boy with short hair, full of scars, about my age. «You can breathe here, don’t be afraid.» I look at him for a moment, then exhale. «See?»

«Damn, I hope this is just water.» I turn and see Søren bound, being dragged along by Laila and Akanke. «Mind telling me why you don’t want to relive a nice trauma of your own?» asks Laila.

«I don’t need to, I’m already living a brand new one!» Søren snaps, struggling.

«Come now, be good. Little Søren will show us what he must,» Akanke says, trying to soothe them.

Something grips my hand—it’s the boy. But he’s heavy, dragging me down toward the bottom. «Help!» I cry, reaching my hand out toward them.

«Nadia!» Laila dives after me, grabbing my hand, but it’s useless—I drag her down too, and with her Søren and Akanke, still tied by the ropes. The light begins to fade, swallowed by darkness.

I try to pull away, to fight free, but it’s useless; he’s holding on too tightly. I try to let go of Laila, not wanting to drag them all down, but she refuses to release me either. Behind us, Søren thrashes with all his might, desperate to break free.

Strange translucent creatures start to surround us, their heads shaped like mushrooms, their stalks replaced by writhing tentacles. Inside each of them appear images—there’s the boy holding my hand, but younger, unscarred. He’s always surrounded by children who either beat him or laugh at him. Yet he refuses to give in, always talking back. “I wish I had his courage…” But in some scenes, women force him to stand facing a corner, in others they scold him, in others they slap him. «Why do they punish him? He was alone, and he still had the courage to stand up for himself.»

«Because adults don’t care what really happens,» the boy replies, gazing into the abyss. «They only care about what they see, and convince themselves it’s the only truth.» The deeper we sink, the more the images change: the boy grows older, and answers back less and less, until eventually he just stops—passive, silent under the taunts.

The light grows dimmer still. The strange creatures scatter, replaced by three glowing beings with eight arms. Their brilliance is stronger, and within their radiance the figures’ voices can now be heard.

The first shows a woman sitting with him, a book in her hand, shouting: «Are you stupid?!», «Can’t you get it?!», «This is the simplest thing!», «Retard!» In other images, whenever he complains in public, she slaps him instantly, and when he cries, she ignores him in fury.

The second shows a man looking down at him: «You need to think about doing real things. People like us are stupid, we won’t make it in life.», «Your dreams are worthless.», «Drawing and playing video games won’t get you anywhere.», «Look at you, you’re fat, disgusting.», «Move, talk you piece of shit!», «How the fuck dare you talk to me like that?!»

Finally, the third: an old woman with a cigarette, sitting in front of a glowing screen. «You can’t just stay in the house all the time, go out, it’s good for you!», «You’re always out, this isn’t a hotel!», «Of course men are vile creatures.», «What are you talking about? Women never do anything wrong. If they did, you’d hear it on TV. It’s always men who commit crimes and cause harm.», «Eat! Think of the children in Africa who have nothing!»

The three smert jesera drift away into the dark. The water presses harder around me, suffocating. The light above us has vanished. A strange fish appears, its head glowing faintly, transparent. No sound, no color—only the boy, playing alone in a room. He grows, seems to find friends, but still looks alone. Older still, the three from before now smile at him, pretending as if they never hurt him, reaching for affection. He gives them only scraps in return. «Søren…» I whisper, turning around. «Where is Søren?»

Laila and Akanke turn, horrified. We are engulfed in darkness, crushed on all sides. My only guide is the trail of bubbles leaving my mouth. Looking down, I see two Sørens sinking fast, leaving us behind. I try to reach for him, try to call, but no sound comes out—pressure holds me still.

A monstrous fish glides past, its forehead tied to a glowing stone. In its light, Søren appears, killing the loutky—not happy, not regretful either. Then the light shows his conversation with Omid, the rebel leader, and its aftermath.

Laila covers her mouth in shock. “I didn’t know he killed the loutky… Now I understand why he’s like this… I’m sorry, if I knew you were from another kingdom, I would have told you…” I sink faster, heavier, my chest crushed. “I’m sorry! Forgive me! I’m nothing but a stupid child who only brings pain to everyone!”

Arms wrap around me—Laila and Akanke. I cling to them, I want to scream but there’s no air, I want to cry but the water swallows my tears.

A grotesque creature with jutting teeth and a long nose appears before us. We are swallowed whole.

I gasp awake, coughing water, rolling onto my side. We’re back on the floor of the house. I scan the room—Søren sits in a corner. I rush to him, but Laila grabs my arm. I yank at her grip with my other hand. «MMMH! Let me go!»

«I want to go to him too, but now’s not the time.» I bite her hand. «Ow!» she yelps, releasing me. I run and hug Søren as tightly as I can. He looks at me but doesn’t hug back. I don’t care. At least now, he doesn’t look like he’s suffering just from seeing me… or at least, I hope so.

«I’m sorry to interrupt,» says the strange woman, drawing everyone’s attention. «One final step remains.» Behind her, between the two windows, stands an open door, radiating red light.