Chapter 15:

A New Party

My Second Chance Life as a Goblin Petard


The next morning Lilian was nowhere to be found. It was still early when Paelyn came banging on our door, asking if we’d seen her. Apparently she hadn’t seen Lilian when she went to bed but didn’t think much of it until she awoke to find her still missing. Paelyn, Leo, and I spent the morning looking all around the city, while Kyle went about his own affairs. He made no comments or complaints, and neither did we attempt to persuade him to join in the search. We stopped for lunch, and in our present state of mind, ate in silence and without enjoyment. Even when we’d finished eating no one moved or said anything. We all knew the truth: Lillian was gone, and we’d no energy left to devote to a futile search.

“You’re not going to find her if she doesn’t want to be found,” said Kyle at last.

“And if she does want to be found?” asked Leo.

“Well, then she’ll turn up again, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. She’s a stubborn one.”

“She’s the stubborn one?” asked Leo, irritably.

“I’m not having this argument again. I’m sorry she left without saying goodbye, but honestly, I can see why she did.”

“What the h–”

“Let me finish–” said Kyle. “It would have been messy. That’s all I’m saying. All three of you would have been begging her to stay, and if she’s set on leaving, that’s a lot to put up with.”

“So, what do we do now?” asked Leo.

“If you’re ready, we can go finish the quest I’ve been working on,” said Kyle.

“You’ve been doing the quest all by yourself?” asked Paelyn.

“Yeah, but I need your help. Harold’s been working it too and from what I can tell he’s not far behind me. In fact, he might have caught up while we’ve been sitting here.”

“Wait, it had like riddles and things? And you did it all on your own?” asked Paelyn.

“Stop looking surprised! I’m not stupid!” yelled Kyle. “Anyway I think I know where it wants me to go, I just need my team to go with me.”

“We’re with you all the way,” said Leo.

“Yeah!” said Paelyn.

“Thanks, but we need the whole team for this.”

“What do you mean?” Leo asked.

“Leo, send this man a party invite,” he said looking at me.

“On it!” said Leo.

“You guys don’t have to do that. I don’t have anything to offer,” I protested.

“Welcome to the party,” said Kyle, extending his hand.

“Thanks,” I said, shaking it warmly.

“Ow! What kind of handshake is that?”

“Sorry, I went for a firm handshake, but I guess I don’t know my strength.”

“I think you broke my carpals,” said Kyle, clutching his hand.

“You know what carpals are?” said Paelyn.

“I’m not stupid!” shouted Kyle.

“Actually, you mean your metacarpals,” said Leo.

“Shut up!” yelled Kyle. “No one cares that you were pre-med.”

Kyle led us out of the city and down a footpath leading to the adjacent hilltop.

“So what’s at the top of the hill?” asked Paelyn.

“There should be ruins from an old castle,” replied Kyle.

At last, we reached the top, and as expected, there before us lay the sundered ruins of a castle, almost overgrown by trees and flowering vines.

“Not much left of the place,” I said.

“I bet what we’re looking for is underground,” said Leo.

“Why does it always have to be underground?” asked Kyle, with a sigh.

“Hey guys, over here,” yelled Paelyn.

“Looks like the entrance has been partially cleared,” I said.

“Harold…” said Kyle, his eyes narrowing. “Alright, let’s get in there. Bastian, you’re in the front with me,” he said, climbing through the dilapidated entrance. “I am NOT losing to Harold today.”

We descended a few steps and found ourselves in the castle dungeon.

“Who do you think lit these torches?” I asked, noticing the confusing source of light.

“I don’t know, maybe your Mom?”

“Who said that?” I demanded.

Harold stepped out of the darkness.

“Congratulations, you were the first person to make a mom joke in Scuba. That’s quite the legacy,” said Kyle.

“I confess, it wasn’t the greatest entrance,” said Harold, holding up his hands.

“No that was when I entered yo–” Leo put his hand over Kyle’s mouth.

Harold cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say hello before I beat you again. Speaking of which, where is dear Lilian?”

“She’s not with us anymore,” said Kyle.

“What?” said Harold, then he started to laugh. “If you kicked her out, then you lot are stupider than I thought. With her power and intelligence–not to mention her looks–she’s worth more than the rest of you put together. She was the full package, and you just let her go?”

“I’ll show you the full package!” yelled Kyle, charging Harold with sword drawn.

Harold activated an ability. Suddenly, he appeared to seep into the darkness of the wall, and the next instant he leapt out of the wall behind us.

“I would workshop that line if I was you. Toodle-oo!”

Kyle turned red in the face. “No, I meant like–” he started punching his hand.

“It’s okay,” said Leo. “I know what you meant.”

“Guys, shouldn’t we be going?” I asked.

“Right,” said Kyle. “Let’s beat this guy!”

We charged after him down the dark, twisting hallway, chasing his echoing laughter. As we turned a corner we came face to face with a pair of skeletons, armed with shields and swords. Leo’s knives flew past us in an instant, but the skeletons parried them with their bucklers as they sprang at Kyle and me. Kyle and the first skeleton crossed swords. I instinctively leapt backwards, colliding with Paelyn. Struggling to get back up, I found Leo had stepped forward to protect us with a knife in each hand. I froze, wondering what I should do, unable to provide any assistance in the narrow hallway. Leo’s position went from bad to worse in an instant, and the skeleton brought down its saber on him with its full strength. He dropped like a stone, I prayed unconscious and not dead. With reckless rage overpowering my fear of fighting an assailant so much better armed, I leapt over my motionless friend. I reached for its sword, anxious to control its weapon, and keep it away from myself, but the skeleton turned its shield side upon me. Before it could strike I seized the buckler, and with one motion pulled the skeleton into a standing kick, which sent it flying onto its back.

I took a moment to look around. Kyle was bloodied, and seemed to be losing his fight. Paelyn was kneeling over Leo, trying to use her healing ability, but her hand was trembling too much to apply the bandages. Suddenly my heart dropped. Past her, at the other end of the corridor, I saw a skeleton turn the corner, heading our way.

“Paelyn, behind you!” I shouted.

Her archer’s instinct kicked in and she readied an arrow, but the skeleton’s shield stopped the bolt. She went to draw her sword but it was not in her sheath. She had dropped it beside Leo when she tried to heal him. At the same time Kyle staggered backwards into the wall. His eyes met mine, and I saw terror in them–the terror of someone who knows they’re about to die. I thought of my casks–whether a desperate blast could at least save my friends, but they were all around me, interspersed among the enemies. Suddenly from the dark ceiling, a form appeared armed with a scimitar and cleaved off the head of the skeleton right in front of Kyle.

“My, have you guys seen better days,” said Harold, as he touched down on the dungeon floor.

With Harold helping Kyle I turned to Paelyn, who was dragging Leo away from the approaching skeleton. I scooped her sword off the ground and charged the skeleton as a message flashed in front of me.

Warning you cannot equip this weapon.

As I struck the skeleton, it was like I hit an invisible forcefield. The sword ricocheted off the creature with such force that it bounced out of my hand.

“I hate this game,” I muttered, as the skeleton brought its own sword down on my head. I spaced out for a moment. When I came to, I was on the dungeon floor, looking sideways along the uneven cobbles. My head was burning, but I knew I had the strength to rise. I staggered to my feet. Disoriented and dizzy, it was all I could do to fling myself at the skeleton and grab a hold of its back. We rolled to the ground, and I did not see a clear image until Paelyn held my face in her hands and told me the fight was over. I sat up slowly and looked at the skeleton hand I was still clutching, attached to only half a torso and its lifeless head.

“Ugh,” I said, flinging the bones away. As my head began to clear I remembered Leo. “Leo! How is he?”

“Alive,” said Leo, gasping.

I let out a heavy sigh.

“You aren’t out of danger yet,” said Harold. “I’ll do my best to lure the skeletons away from you, but you need to make for the exit now.”

“Right,” I said. “Leo, Kyle, can you walk?”

“Yeah, I’m just stretched out on the ground for fun,” said Kyle. He chuckled and coughed up blood.

“Alright, I’ve got you,” I said, picking up one then the other.

Paelyn looked at me with two grown men draped over my shoulders, and shook her head. “Right, let’s go,” she said.

“I felt like I would fall, or drop them, or my arms would give out the whole way, but at last we emerged into the little hilltop clearing. I set Leo and Kyle down and collapsed in exhaustion. My arms felt like they would never move again.

“So what’s up with the super strength?” asked Paelyn. “Are you some kind of bodybuilder or something?”

“No, I think it’s my character. Since I was supposed to carry around those giant explosive casks, they must have raised my character's strength.”

“Wow, something about your character that doesn’t totally suck… I’m almost speechless,” said Paelyn, smiling.

I laughed. “Yeah, surprised me too.”

A few minutes later Harold emerged. By then Paelyn’s healing was starting to take effect, and the guys were back on their feet.

“I tried to warn you,” said Harold. “You didn’t appreciate how much weight that girl was carrying. You could have gotten yourselves killed if I wasn’t there.”

“Would you shut up?” said Kyle. “I mean seriously, thank you, just…shut up.”

Harold laughed. “You’re welcome.”

“I know you guys don’t want to hear this, but I think we need to get moving if we don’t want to be out here after dark,” I said.

“Yeah,” said Kyle with a groan, gingerly letting go of the wall he was leaning against. “This is gonna be a long walk back.”

Leo went limping after him, cringing with every step.

I turned to Harold. “I think we all owe you an apology,” I said.

“What can I say?” said Harold. “I’m just too nice for my own good.”

“What is that power by the way?”

“It’s dark magic. I’m uh, a shadowmancer… My nine-year-old self would be really proud...”

“Sounds cool to me,” I said laughing.

“What are you again? Goblin–Ugly Stupid Goblin? What was it?”

“Goblin Petard,” I said.

“Sorry, that’s right.”

“You’re not sorry,” I said.

Harold laughed. “No, I’m not.”

The next day we had a long discussion about how to move forward. It was clear we needed to learn how to compensate for the fire power we lost with the departure of Lilian. The old party–Lilian's party–no longer functioned. We needed to build a new party from the ground up. We decided to revisit the castle and try our luck at fighting skeletons one at a time. We found a room large enough for our purposes near the entrance and managed to lure a single skeleton and kill it. By the time we had repeated the process three more times it was getting late, and we didn’t have enough of a health buffer to risk another lure, as there was always the chance something could go wrong.

“Not a very efficient way to get gold and experience,” said Kyle, as we convened back on the hilltop. “We spent more time luring than actually fighting.”

“True, but it isn’t really about that,” said Leo. “It’s about learning to work as a team again.”

Paelyn sighed. “I’m sorry guys. I know a lot of this is my fault. I relied so heavily on Lily to tell me what to do. Even when I choose the right thing I second guess it. If Lily told me to use my sword I could do it because I trusted her judgement, but now…I don’t know. I wonder if it’s the wrong time–if I’m just going to get in your way or get myself killed.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said. “We need to communicate better. I think it’s also okay for you to think of yourself as mainly an archer right now. You have me now instead of Lilian. I know that’s no substitute, but I’m only useful on the frontline, whereas she was good in the back. That leaves more space in the back for you. We’ll let you know if we are getting overrun.”

“Okay,” said Paelyn, “that’s helpful.”

“Isn’t there at least a shield you can use or something?” asked Kyle. “I see how much damage you take trying to get in on anything with range.”

“I don’t know, maybe I can wear armor? I don’t think I can use anything with my hands, which is bad because it means I can’t actually deal damage. I can only restrain things, push them away, or knock them down.”

“I know we’ve been over this, but your class really stinks,” said Kyle. “Like incredibly bad.”

“I have a lot of hitpoints at least.”

“Do you get a lot more when you level up?”

“I don’t know. I’m still level one.”

“What! How?” asked Kyle.

“Experience is calculated largely off of damage and ability usage–two things I don’t do. If I’m not heavily involved in the fight I won’t get any at all. Even then it’s really minimal. “I think I got about eighteen experience points from all those skeletons, which puts me around half way to level two.”

“Sheesh,” said Kyle.

“You guys ready to head back?” asked Leo.

“Yeah,” I said, getting up.

We sort of fell into a routine after that. We went out everyday looking for things to do, but always with an eye towards minimizing danger. It was obvious that Lilian had been a major driving force for the party, and I had to do my best to keep them motivated without her. We ended up staying in Halcyon–not because of a tactical decision but because it was easy. That isn’t to say that we made no progress, however. Every week they got better. It was hard to watch them leave me so far behind. Besides a leather doublet I managed to take off a goblin we killed, I hadn’t grown materially stronger, but I tried in every way that I could think of to stay relevant. It became clear, however, that at some point I would outlive my usefulness. Sure, against the mannequins or skeletons I could act as a barrier for Leo and Paelyn. But in a fight against the manticore, or the troll from the tutorial, I wouldn’t serve any function at all. Eventually they would scale to the point where I would only get in their way, and knowing that made me struggle to keep myself motivated.

Kyle eventually asked Harold to join the party, but Harold insisted on his solo ways. Sometimes he would disappear for a day or two, then when we were beginning to wonder if he had left Halcyon he would pop back up in the hotel lobby, drinking a cocktail and carrying on with anyone or anything that would listen.

He was a strange character, and I don’t think any of us felt like we knew him very well, but we did eat dinner with him now and then, and share stories of our adventures. In that way, he became a kind of unofficial fifth member of our party, I couldn’t help but draw a few parallels to myself.

And so things went on until one fateful morning. I was on my way back from the bakery–which I had a habit of visiting for free pastries–when I heard a notification sound. I opened the message and read.

The next event will take place one week from today. The location has been marked on your maps. –Pasqual