Chapter 41 - Part of the World

Although Luna vividly recalled the moment Clint fired his gun, she could not comprehend it. “How? How can something so small be so powerful?” She questioned. It had etched itself into her memory via all five of her senses. She could still smell the scent of smoke that existed even in the absence of flame. She could hear the thunderclap that roared as far as the horizon. The barely present flash, an impossible blooming of light that existed only for a moment, she could see it even now. Her hands still trembled the way they did then, abject fear shaking her from her very core. Her mouth tasted like vomit, it was sickening seeing the entire hierarchy of her world toppled in a moment. Clint’s weapon upheaved everything. It disgusted her on some level, and terrified her on all others.

She stared at the revolver on his hip. She could hardly believe it was real. It was tiny, it bore no blade, it wasn’t magical, yet clearly it was the most powerful weapon to ever exist. That wasn’t all though, it held another secret, one that shook her worldview even more. “He killed an immortal. That healing magic that could persist even in death… It was eradicated by his weapon alone…”

Although she tried to question Clint on it, he didn’t respond. Immediately after killing Blüt, he had collapsed to the floor, days worth of exhaustion catching up to his body all at once.

Clint only slept for three hours before he recovered. He awoke to find that they had built their camp around him, shaded by the gigantic corpse of Blüt. Sol had since been retrieved from the river too. Stripped of his armour, he winced and groaned as his burned body was bandaged by Luna.

As soon as he awoke, Merri began staring at Clint with her large brown eyes. He evaded her gaze, instead turning to watch the twins.

Sol jolted up, nearly leaping into the air. “Yowch! Take it easy with the salve, it’s cold!” He complained.

“Cold is what you need right now, you’re burned all over!” Luna chided, carefully applying the medicine to him.

“Worth it. Did you see the trick I used? He had no idea what hit him when I heated myself up like that!” He grinned and raised his arms to showboat. “O-ow.” he lowered them very quickly.

“It was impressive, but it was reckless…” Luna sighed.

“You wanna talk about reckless? Merri told me you fought him off with your bare hands!” Despite his words, his eyes were wide with admiration.

Luna didn’t respond, flushing and looking away.

Merri finally turned her attention away from Clint. She frowned. “Are you sure I shouldn’t-”

“Yes, I’m sure!” Sol waved a hand dismissively. “You made a promise not to heal anymore, didn’t you?”

“I promised Luna…” Merri began.

“No you didn’t!” Sol shook his head. “When you promise something like that, you promise yourself! That’s what resolve is!”

“Resolve?” Merri tilted her ears.

“That’s right! Resolve!” Sol beamed, standing to attention suddenly.

“Resolve!” Merri followed suit, hopping to her feet.

“Who are you and what are you gonna do?” Sol pointed at her, huge smile hiding the wincing pain of every movement.

“I’m Merri and I’m not gonna heal anymore!” She cheered, raising her hands skyward.

“Resolve!” Sol matched her, raising his fists to the sky.

“Resolve!” Merri yelled back.

As the two carried on excitedly, Luna slinked over toward Clint. “Clint, about your-”

“What about you?” Clint cut her off. She froze. For the first time, his yellow eyes were soft to her.

“What about me?” She crossed her arms and looked away.

“You moving forward or are you moving back?” He asked curtly.

“I’m…” Luna struggled, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. All my life I was told where my strength supposedly lay… But I could never find it myself. It seemed everyone could see it but me.”

She leaned back, staring at the sky. “Maybe it was never really there. Maybe they only saw it because they wanted to… Or because it was more convenient than to look deeper and see… Well, see what I see. See what you saw in me. I don’t know.”

Luna raised her hands up, staring at them, her pale skin a contrast to the inky night sky. “What I do know is that this feels right. Maybe more right than anything else. I’ve always believed I was weak, but I realise now that was just a perception imparted on me by others. And if that’s the case, what else about me could also be that? Again, I don’t know, but if anything’s gonna guide me to the truth. It’s following this path.”

Luna sat up, able to face Clint now. “Sorry I didn’t have a real answer, but I think I can at least offer you this. I promise that I’m going to fight my way from now on. Whether it leads me to glory or to the grave.”

Clint’s face didn’t give anything away, but he clearly listened intently. When she was done, he simply nodded. “Good.”

“Resolve!” Merri yelled, leaping toward Luna.

“Y-you were listening to that?” She caught Merri in a spin, placing her back down in a fluid motion.

Sol laughed, it seemed he had heard too. “I’ll fight my way, huh? You sound like a hero from one of those corny novels you read.” He jeered.

“There’s nothing funny about it! Fighting this way let me kick your ass 36 times, remember!” Luna protested, pointing challengingly at Sol.

“Thirty? No way it was that many…” Sol rubbed his chin, purposely baiting Luna.

“Would’ve been a whole lot more if I didn’t quit too. You got lucky.” Luna mocked, giving it as good as she got.

“Ooh ooh! Make it 37!” Merri goaded.

Exhausted once more by their bantering, Clint allowed his hat to tip over his eyes and he fell asleep again.

The three day journey back to Lillinberg was uneventful. Walking with his burns made Sol less talkative than normal, Luna was still caught up on Clint’s revolver, and Clint for whatever reason, still insisted on barely acknowledging Merri.

As much fun as she had with Sol and Luna, his constant neglect began to weigh on her. Socialising was already a strange experience for her after a lifetime of isolation, but Clint insisted on making it yet more confusing. It was the first hurdle of her new life, but she had no clue how to overcome it.

“Psst. Sol.” Merri whispered, hopping up to his ears. It was an impressive feat, she leapt four feet in a single hop.

Sol leaned down, she only had to jump three feet now. “Huh?”

“What’s up with him?” Merri asked.

“Clint?” Sol clicked his tongue. “I wouldn’t worry. He’s always like that. He doesn’t talk to anyone about anything.”

Merri frowned. “He talks to you and Luna though.”

“Sure, kinda.” Sol struggled to find the words. “He talks to us… But he doesn’t really talk? You know?”

“Hmm… Yeah, I get it. Kinda…” Merri mused.

It was only once they reached the outskirts of Lillinberg that Clint said a word to Merri. “You’re Marrie Gauld’s kid, right?”

Merri’s ears perked up. She almost ignored him, that was how little she was expecting him to say. “Um… Yeah. I think so.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “You think?”

“It’s been a long time… She’s my Mama, but is she still-” Merri froze, feeling a large hand on her head.

“Don’t be stupid.” He said bluntly. “She’s waiting for you.”

Merri’s eyes welled up. “...She is? But the village… All those times…?”

“She endured it. Every single time.” Clint nodded, releasing Merri from his grip.

Merri didn’t say a word back, she just ran as fast as her little legs could take her. All of a sudden, the woods she was lost in all those years ago became familiar to her again. She sprinted through the trees, fast and effortless. She could hardly see through her tears, but she could feel where she was going even through her blurred vision.

When she arrived through the clearing, she knew instantly where she was going. Lillinberg was a big place, but she was efficient in her movement, cutting a straight line straight to home. Straight to her mother.

Marrie Gauld was suddenly struck. Physically by her daughter leaping into her arms. Emotionally by a decade of pain being released all at once. When she looked down and saw Merri, the world bloomed into a spectrum of colours she hadn’t seen in years. The sky was suddenly bluer and the sun suddenly warmer. Everything was bright and good, though quickly it all blurred together, as tears smeared the watercolours of her new perspective.

“Mama! It’s me! I’m back!” Merri wept into her mother’s dress, holding her as tight as her meagre strength would allow.

“I knew it! I knew you’d be alive! Merri!” The mother sobbed, pulling her daughter close to her chest. “Oh my Merri…”

Merri’s cheeks began to hurt from smiling so wide. It was an expression she wasn’t used to, but it felt nice. Their embrace lasted what felt like hours, mother and daughter refamiliarising themselves through physical touch.

There was much sobbing, much joy, but eventually came time for Marrie to release her. She let Merri loose and showed her to their home. It was still being built, but the village’s craftsmen had performed a masterful recreation of the inn.

“This is it, Merri.” She kneeled down, showing off each room in turn. “Downstairs is the inn, then upstairs on the left are the guests’ rooms, then across from that was where your Papa and I slept, and on the third floor, that was your room. Do you remember your room?”

Merri hopped toward the building, hiding a frown from her mother as she investigated. “Yeah! My room! I missed my room!” She turned and beamed at Marrie, hoping to please her.

Marrie froze at the sight of her against the building. It was so strange to see her there again. Another uncontrollable wave of emotion. “You’re so big now…” She mused, tears once again flowing from her face.

Merri stepped forward, concerned. Once she was in range, Marrie pulled her into an embrace once more. “My girl… When did you get so big?” She cried.

The younger Auf shuffled back, getting a better look at her mother’s face. “Maybe at the same time you got so wrinkly?” She said cluelessly.

“W-wrinkly? How dare you!” Marrie laughed. “I suppose I am though… Ten years.” She half chuckled, half sobbed. “Ten years…”

Merri paused. “Sorry…” She muttered. “I think I forgot what you looked like before. Maybe you aren’t that much wrinklier.”

Marrie took a beat, before stroking her daughter’s hair and laughing. “Don’t be sorry! It’s nice to know you have a sense of humour.”

“I do?” Merri tilted her head. “Am I funny?”

“I suppose we’ll find out.” Marrie beamed. “We’ve got plenty of time now, after all. I promise you Merri, you’re not going anywhere, ever again. I’ll never let anyone take you away!” She held Merri tight as she could. The girl felt warm and comfortable in her arms, but found the embrace a little tight.

“Not going anywhere, huh…” Merri hummed.

“You’ll want to send a team out to retrieve his head. You’ll get a hefty reward, given he was one of the Demon King’s Cardinals. That should be enough to start repairing the damage he caused.” Luna explained to the mayor.

“Just make sure you give us the glory for the kill.” Sol said, flashing a smile.

The mayor nodded, his moustache bobbing as he did. “It’s only fair. You three are heroes for what you’ve done! Ending that Ogre’s reign, bringing Marrie’s daughter back… I can’t think of how we’d begin to repay you.”

“How about some food?” Sol offered, holding his stomach.

“Forget food!” A voice yelled, coming into view suddenly from another part of Lillinberg. “You three deserve a whole feast!” It was Marrie, who came running toward them, Merri close behind like a duckling.

“A feast? Aren’t you all a little low on food?” Luna contested.

“So? With Blüt gone we can eat our fill today and refill our pantries by tomorrow!” She beamed. “Please, I insist!”

The mayor rubbed his moustache. “I think it’s in order. Our food issues will be solved soon enough anyhow.”

“Excellent!” Marrie clapped. “I trust all three of you will be in attendance?”

“Absolutely! I’m starving!” Sol beamed.

“Of course.” Luna added.

“...” Clint hesitated. Marrie looked at him, eyes wide and pleading. “...Sure.”

Marrie fluttered with excitement, quickly scurrying away to prepare. Merri followed suit, but only after lingering for a moment, stare still squarely on Clint.

The celebration was a reminder of everything Lillinberg was supposed to be. Every tall tale about the place was alive in that moment. Songs were sung, a fire burned high, food was piled into bountiful mounds. It was something out of a storybook. A happy ending.

Sol, now healed by Marrie, leapt up before the crowd and performed “Little Lady of Lillinberg”, much to their joy. The people hopped and skipped to the music. Luna even found it within herself to dance. It seemed everyone was happy.

Off to the side of everything, nursing a drink and a plate of meat, Clint watched.

“May I sit with you for a moment?” Marrie asked, already taking a place next to him.

Clint didn’t reply, just observed the festivities further. His eyes focused on Merri. Her behaviour was slightly off to him. She was clearly having fun, dancing with everyone, a wide smile on her face, but it seemed that in some way she was… Struggling.

“Thank you, Clint.” Marrie smiled, drawing the cowboy’s attention back to her. “I never could’ve imagined it… My little girl…” She teared up again, but controlled herself. “I’m so grateful to you. Without her… Without Grand… My life was so hollow. Some days when I ventured out into those woods… I thought it’d be better if I didn’t come back.” Marrie breathed a weighty breath. “If you hadn’t found me, I think I’d have-”

Clint cut her off. “I understand.”

“No, please. I want to thank you, truly, for everything. After what Blüt did too, I don’t think I could’ve carried on… But with you there, seeing how hard you worked for my sake, I didn’t think about what I lost.” Her lips quivered, trying for a smile but uncertain. “I had lost my husband, my daughter, and my home… Yet I didn’t think about any of that. To have that happen for even a moment… Thank you, Clint.”

Clint tipped his hat to her. “Welcome. You’re a good lady, it’s the least I could do.”

Marrie shook her head, laughing. There was a weariness to them both. A similar weariness. They were each aged by loss. “I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you. It would take a lifetime...”

A jolt of nervous energy ran up Marrie’s spine. One look from Clint silenced her entirely. Tired yellow eyes told her all she needed to know: “Don’t”.

Marrie frowned, but understood. “If you ever need anything, let me know.” She added, before returning to the festivities.

As the fire burned itself out, so did the people. It was a warm night, so the majority laid about the streets, comfortable in the open air, warmed by their thick hair and one another’s body heat. Even Sol and Luna fell victim to the sleepy atmosphere, asleep on the grass near the pyre.

Only two souls remained awake. Both were aware of one another, but they had not yet acknowledged it. It took until Clint reached the edge of town for them to do so.

“You’re sneaky, y’know. Almost didn’t see you in this dark.” He stared directly at his hidden companion as he spoke, letting them know immediately he had bested them.

“They said you had good eyes… Didn’t know they were THAT good.” Merri sighed, emerging from the brush.

“What’re you doing up so late?” Clint asked, leaning against a tree.

“Same to you! You’re not walking out on everyone, are you?” Merri hopped up to him. She looked him in the eye as if they were level, despite the several foot height difference. Clint didn’t reply, simply looking out to the woods. It seemed his intent was clear.

“That’s no good.” Merri shook her head. “You have all these friends! Even Mama likes you! Why would you ever wanna leave?”

No response again. Merri boiled with frustration. “Why does he never wanna talk to me?” She thought.

All of a sudden, her irritated expression broke. “Oh… You’re scared, huh?” She said plainly.

Clint was a man rarely caught off guard, but Merri managed it. He looked at her with an intrigue, indicating for her to elaborate.

“Being around people… Meeting them… Letting them know you. It’s scary. You never know if they’ll be nice, or mean, or nothing at all.” Merri started. “Don’t you think so?”

Silence from Clint.

“I do.” Merri admitted. “It’s only been a couple days but… It’s really freaky, you know? All these new people, all these new things… You never know quite what it all is, or if what you’re doing is right.” She kneeled down, tracing a pattern in the dirt as she mused. “After being in that box… It’s like I’m brand new to the world.”

She glanced back up at Clint, big brown eyes staring straight through him. “I don’t know why… But it’s the same for you, isn’t it?”

A different silence. An acknowledgement that on some level, they were similar.

“It’s hard, huh.” Merri frowned. “But it’s kinda fun too! I mean, I’ve never had a feast before! Maybe when I was really little, but I forgot what that was like… Meeting Mama again too! I was so happy to see her! But…”

She traced in the dirt again, hoping she’d find an answer in the earth somehow. “After so long, it was kinda like she was new too. I know she never stopped thinking about me… But I kinda stopped thinking about her. Is that bad?”

Clint finally spoke. “You did what you had to to survive.”

“Yeah… But what I do now?” Merri mused. “You’re kinda like me, right? …What do you wanna do?”

Clint gave her question great thought, but came up empty. “Keep moving, I guess.” Merri was the only person he’d speak like this to. She resembled a weakness of his. “‘S all I’ve ever done.”

Merri smiled. “Keep moving. That’s nice.” She hopped up to her feet, energised by his few words. “Keep moving and go somewhere! That’s the dream, right? Freedom, adventure, all the stuff Sol and Luna talk about!”

Clint shrugged, but Merri kept going. “I wanna keep moving too. There’s so much more out there than I could’ve imagined in that metal box. Magic like Sol’s, fighting like Luna’s, weapons like yours. All sorts of crazy, scary stuff!” Merri’s tone ebbed. “...If you’re gonna keep moving, can I come with you?”

“...” The cowboy froze, ensuring his face remained invisible to her. “What about your mother?”

“I don’t wanna go right away! I’ll stick around for Mama a bit longer!” Merri protested. “But after… It’s nice to be back here in Lillinberg, but…” She hesitated. “...If I don’t keep moving, it’ll just become a bigger box.”

Clint half-nodded subtly, but gave no explicit agreement. “Even if I do wanna go away, I still have to stick around for Mama.” She confirmed with herself. “Same thing for you! Even if you wanna keep moving, you can’t just leave your friends!”

“Friends is a strong word.” Clint muttered.

“Maybe! If I’m honest, I don’t really know what friends are. I never had any.” Merri hummed. “But they’re meant to help each other, right? And they’re meant to be nice to each other! And do stuff together! Isn’t that what you guys do?”

Clint creaked, the slightest laugh. He couldn’t defy her logic, even if he disagreed.

“So! That settles it! We stick around for another week, then we keep on moving! Right?” Merri concluded, placing her hands on her hips definitively.

Suddenly, Clint’s presence loomed more heavily over her. “No.” He said definitively. “I’m not someone you wanna stick around with, kid.”

Merri pouted. “Maybe I’m someone you wanna stick around with though?” There was a genuine warmth in her voice that somehow melted through even Clint’s ice. “Whether we like it or not, we’re both part of this world now. It’s gonna be scary, but we’ve gotta go out there and be a part of it! We can’t just sit back anymore! We’re involved! We’re here! We’re alive! And because of that, we’ve gotta keep moving forward, just like you said! …Do you really wanna do that alone?”

Clint’s eyes were wide. In the moonlight, the yellow of his eyes appeared a pale gold. With a sigh, he nodded. “I guess you’re right.” he said pragmatically.

Merri lit up, grabbing Clint by the hand and leading him back to Lillinberg. As promised, they would stay there for another week.

For all her unique ability to see through him, Merri did not quite know what impact her words would have. She didn’t know which parts of her speech he had taken to heart. She did not know that Clint Morgans had indeed accepted he was now part of this world.

Going forward, he would be a part of this strange, fantastical world. An active participant in an absurd game with unusual rules and even more unusual players. He would be not just that, but so much more. Clint Morgans would become a force of total upheaval for this world, reshaping it with his presence until it was unrecognisable. Unbeknownst to Merri, and even to Clint himself… The world would never be the same now that he was in it.