[39 — Is That It?]

I once heard somewhere that hanging upside down helped you think better.

If I'm not mistaken, it had something to do with increasing blood flow to the brain and speeding up thought by stimulating neurons. Pretty pseudoscientific, yeah.

I'm not one to buy into random theories like that, but after spending two hours lying with my legs up against the wall and my head hanging off the bed, I can say with confidence:

It was a lie. (A pretty dumb one, too.)

If you ask me what I gained from the experiment, it was nothing but a lovely migraine. And maybe a little nausea as a bonus.

Before my body gave out from sheer stupidity, I straightened up on the bed. As expected, my pillow was still rock-hard. (Although by now it had soaked up so much drool it almost felt softer than when I first laid down on it.)

"Man… no matter how I look at it, it just doesn't make sense. Me? An inquisitor?"

I'd been chewing on that for two days now. Still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that, of all people I could've ended up as in this world, I'd somehow taken on the role of a religious executioner.

Sure, if you lined up the marks and all the mysterious crap Ruru hinted at, you could make a case for it. But honestly? Kinda suspicious. Especially with my class tab sitting at plain old 'none.'

If I really were an inquisitor, wouldn't the HUD show it? Or was it some kind of class the system didn't officially recognize?

"No, that can't be it."

Maybe it wasn't showing because I'd lost my rank somehow? Was I an excommunicated priest or something?

"No, if that were the case, it'd probably say EX-Inquisitor."

Or perhaps the system was trolling me on purpose, throwing me off the scent and making the whole game harder?

"Damn it all!" I yanked at my hair. "Feels like the longer I stay here, the less I understand! AAAAAH!!!—"

"BASTARD! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP?! NEXT TIME I HEAR YOU YELLING, I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE LANDLADY!" A man's voice roared from the room next door.

"..."

Guess I'd have to think about this more calmly later.

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

I got out of bed and went to the shelf for a glass of water. While I was at it, I heard footsteps outside the door. Soft, but definitely two people.

Normally, I'd be worried. People milling about in front of your door at 7 PM on a Tuesday isn't exactly reassuring. (Come to think of it, you'd never want that at any time of day.) Still, this time there was no cause for alarm. I already knew who it was without peeking through a peephole: Ruru and Sera.

Two days ago, when Sera ran off after dropping that bombshell on me, Ruru chased after her in a panic. I don't know what Ruru said to convince her to come back after discovering my possible identity, but whatever they talked about seems to explain this strange behavior.

I'm not one to judge people by how they act (especially since I don't consider myself all that normal), but their behavior has made me uneasy.

I'm sure they're hiding something from me.

Of course, if that's all it was, no big deal. They don't owe me an explanation for everything they do. Still, I'll say it once:

If you're going to hide something from me, at least do it properly. Don't act like those two.

At lunch, at dinner, during training, even when I stepped out for fresh air, those two were always staring at me. And whenever I caught them, they'd bolt or come up with some pathetic excuse. So obvious even they couldn't have believed it.

Creak— I yanked the door open.

"What are you two doing out here again?!"

"H-huh? D-Destroyer-sama! W-we… um… we were just on our way to the bathroom, nothing to worry about, right Sera?"

"Y-yeah, Ruru! The bathroom! That's it!"

"…"

These two are hopeless.

"We'll be going then, Destroyer-sama! Sorry if we bothered you."

"Oi! Hold it! The bathroom's the other way!"

And with that, they disappeared down the stairs.

"Ugh… how long are they planning to keep this up?"

I shrugged.

"Whatever. Pushing them won't help. They'll tell me when they're ready. Until then, I might as well get back to my own plans."

I went back inside, double-locked the door, yanked on the knob to make sure it was secure. No one was going to interrupt me this time.

"Time to continue our evil experiment, huh?" A cynical smile crept across my face. Try as I might, I couldn't hide how pleased I was.

Putting aside the whole mystery about the game, at least one thing had gone my way this week: my discoveries on how to exploit the system.

Since I arrived in this world, I'd been having a rough time. I was forced into a minimalist lifestyle because the stingy HUD kept screwing with me. What it hadn't counted on was my cunning and wildly skewed wisdom.

"Hehe." I stepped toward the bed.

Lately, while trying to create special moves by summoning and stashing my sword in the inventory, I'd realized that this whole 'ignoring-collision-then-manifesting-in-reality' business was a lot more complicated than it looked.

The physics of this world weren't much different from Earth's. That much was clear. But the system itself? Already an exception to every rule. A damn anomaly.

"Open inventory."

In earlier tests, I'd already noticed that if I summoned items straight from the inventory, they would float a few inches in front of me. But if I skipped that step, the item would materialize directly in my hand.

Up to that point, nothing groundbreaking, I know. But being impressed by that had made me overlook the reverse use of the feature. Instead of summoning things into the physical world, could I make things vanish from reality?

Answer: yes. As long as I knew the item's name and maintained physical contact.

"Store pillow." I said in a voice that sounded like some game narrator's. The way I said it, it did feel a bit like an ability.

The pillow folded in on itself and vanished from under my hand.

"Hah, just as I thought. Disappears from reality, pops up in the inventory." The HUD's glow lit up my face.

"Who knew a simple inventory could be this OP?"

The problem, though, was the item names. Touching the item was a bit awkward but tolerable. Figuring out each thing's exact name? That was the hard part.

That's why I'd been testing patterns on practically everything. From furniture and food to those damned training dummies that gave me the creeps. To my surprise, aside from items with special names like VSNYAV and the like, everything was called exactly what it looked like.

"Store bed," I whispered.

I waited a few seconds, and then…

Nothing.

"Hm…"

Every time I tried to store an object I couldn't physically hold, I failed. It was like the system was telling me that type of item wasn't accepted. If there even was a way to categorize it.

The same happened with organic objects and certain foods. The inventory simply wouldn't accept them.

At first I thought it might be my physical strength (since I was weak) or because I had too many things stored. But even after clearing everything out and picking up a light wooden table, nothing happened.

Maybe my level was too low? I don't know. What I did know for sure was that if I could master this, it could be decisive in battle.

"Alright then… how should I test this?"

On the shelf were some odds and ends I'd bought: elastic cords, rocks, rags; stuff scattered everywhere. My idea was to turn all that into a giant cannon, using the door's frame to pull a elastic cord that would snap and launch projectiles at me. Simple, but useful.

It took exactly twenty-five minutes to finish the setup. In the end, I could honestly say:

My cannon had become a giant slingshot.

"Tch… best I could do with the materials I had."

Despite its look, it still worked. I crumpled a few papers, put them in as ammo, and stepped back, the trigger cord in my hand.

"Ha!" I pulled the cord.

The elastic cord did its job, spinning and sending the projectile straight toward my chest. The speed was absurd. I could almost hear the paper breaking the sound barrier. Mach twenty? Mach thirty? Who knew? It felt like an arrow ready to pierce a dragon's scales.

Everything was perfect. Truly, peak human intellect.

…and then the paper dropped to the floor.

"..."

Okay, maybe that stuff was too light.

I swapped in some stones.

"That should solve the weight problem," I muttered, reloading the slingshot.

This time, I was going to make history.

"Ah…" I breathed and stepped back.

I needed total focus for this. One wrong angle and the rock would leave me with a sweet black eye.

The tape in my hand started to slip with sweat. No lie, I was a little nervous. Even after calculating the angle precisely, doubts remained. I couldn't be sure.

"Ha!— Wait!" As I pulled the trigger, the door burst open.

"Destroyer-sama, we wanted to— what is that on the—"

The elastic cord began to vibrate, whining against the folds of the door.

THWACK!

"Aaah! My eye! My eye! Ruru! Didn't you see the door was locked?!"

"D-Destroyer-sama!!!" she ran to me. "What happened? Y-your eye…"

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

While the two of them sat on my bed, I paced back and forth in front of them with a wet cloth over my face.

"So after two whole days of stalking me, you've finally decided to explain yourselves, huh"

Unbelievable. They always had the worst timing. I'd been on the verge of a breakthrough!

"S-sorry about that, Destroyer-sama. We didn't mean to— uh, a-are you really okay?"

"Don't worry about me, Ruru. Just... please go on."

Ugh… doesn't look like my eye's going to heal anytime soon. Shame I don't recover as fast as Ruru.

"I-I see… but, before we go on, may I ask… why all the bands and cloth tied to your door?"

"First off, those weren't just 'bands and cloth.' That was a matter-propulsion cannon. Way too advanced for you to understand, so let's leave it at that."

"H-hai..."

Tac. Tac. Tac. Tac.

Sera swung her legs on the bed like a metronome. Her restlessness was so intense it started to make me anxious too. What the hell were those two up to?

"Sera, are you sure about this? Don't force yourself," Ruru said, squeezing her hand. "Destroyer-sama is a good person, but if you don't want to say it yet, that's okay."

What a touching scene…

At least it would be, if they weren't literally in my face.

"Yes… Ruru. I'm fine… w-we can tell him."

"Hey, can you two stop acting like I'm not—"

"D-Destroyer-sama!"

Ruru's sudden shout made me flinch.

"W-what is it?"

"S-Sera… she… so. Sera, like me. She. Well…"

What is this? Has her system glitched?

"Oi, Ruru! I can't understand you when you talk like that! What happened to the confidence you had a second ago?"

"It's just that, light, glow, my pulse. Then I fainted. When I woke up, I was fine. And then—"

I grabbed her shoulders. "Ruru, calm down. Deep breath. What glow? You fainted? What are you trying to say?"

She let out a long breath. "What I mean, Destroyer-sama, is that—"

"Ah, Ruru, Destroyer! I-it'll be easier if I just show you!"

Sera climbed onto the bed, holding a small flower in her hand.

"Hey, Sera, what are you doing? I just hurt my eye! Hey! Stop, that hurts! Give me back the cloth! You're going to—"

Suddenly, her hands began to glow.

The color was exactly the same as what I'd seen in the forest that time, but much more intense.

"Th-that…"

Tiny turquoise particles began to float around my head, and in seconds the pain in my eye vanished.

"S-Sera! Y-you?" I fumbled around. The swelling was gone, while the petals of the flower in her hand withered and disintegrated completely. My eye was perfectly normal, as if it had never been hit.

"Ah! Ha... Ha!" I collapsed to the floor like an idiot.

I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.

"D-Destroyer-sama! What's wrong? Why are you screaming— w-wait… you're… laughing?"

"Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! She healed me! She healed me! Hahaha!" I couldn't stop laughing hysterically. It was ridiculous… completely nonsensical.

"Destroyer-sama, w-what's going on?!"

The Chekhov's gun I'd been chasing all along… sitting right under my nose.

"Hahaha! This damned game!"

Hah… now things were starting to get interesting.