The Wicked Granny Greenthumb

Sato

Before Sato began training with the Kintsugi itself, he first had to begin his special training in the healing arts. Leo had insisted that this was as integral as swordplay to the proper use of the Kintsugi. Sato had taken human anatomy but had no prior medical training. He had almost taken a CPR class once, but had instead slept through it.

Hilltown had no healer of its own. For this, he was sent out of Castle Hill to a small hut deep in the Chaff Sea, the home of the infamous Granny Greenthumb. She was something of a local legend, from what he could gather. Everyone had a different story about Gran, as everyone called her.

Sato decided to ask the locals about her the next time he passed through the main street. Three local children, who often played together, said she was a Wicked, something akin to a witch Sato had intuited. Berta, the local laundre who greeted Sato each time he passed by, said she was a horticulturist, herbalist, and healer. A local drunkard, who had just stumbled out from under the painted sign of the Farmer's Sow, sloshing tankard still ahand, said she was a monster in truth. Sato didn't know what to believe.

When Sato asked Rebe what she had heard of Granny Greenthumb, Rebe piped up and shared similar folktales, adding one she'd heard from Adelaide and another servant named Ebbie that she talked to plants and could make them dance. Rebe was so intrigued when Sato told him he was off to meet her that she insisted upon joining along. He was glad for the company.

Since they were leaving the safety of the castle, Leo had insisted they take an escort, and Bruno had volunteered to lead it, saying he "loved that old crone's treats and wits, in that order." They would be a lot safer for it. Sier Armold also joined, as he had been assigned to Sato's personal guard. Rebe's knight, Sier Seph, was out on a patrol and didn't make it back in time. He was stood in for by a knight named Sier Temet, who joined the party. Three guards completed the band.

The walk from the castle was farther than Sato had expected when he refused his mount. He hated riding, and he had had more than enough of Bucky's namesake. Bruno kept the guards and knights entertained with tales of the Deepwood he had once called home. He told of dire wolves, and druids, man-eating plants, and frogmen. It all sounded a tad fantastical. Most of what came out of Bruno's mouth was. It made for great stories all the same. They walked for nearly an hour before he spotted a thin column of smoke rising out of the shifting surface of the Sea of Chaff, as Leo called it.

Rebe seemed enamored by the vastness of the Sea. It was many factors larger than either of them could have imagined. They knew from Samuel's family that the Sea was older than the farmers. That the people didn't plant it. That they simply cultivated and culled it. It was clear that the small village of farmers did not work all of the vastness. Trails were culled in a winding, random pattern, so you could never see where you were going or where you came from. It was like a hedge maze.

"I wonder what lives in the Chaff," Rebe puzzled.

"Probably just mice and bugs, I reckon," Sato replied, rather lacking in imagination.

"Husk, scarecrows, wildcats, and much more," Bruno interjected, as he often did. "There's no telling what all lives in the Chaff, but I've heard tales of a great many giant creatures, even seen some meself."

Sato doubted that. He had heard little whenever he passed through the "sea." Only the breeze as it hit the plants. Otherwise, it was silent. Almost eerily so. How could all those strange things move without making any noise? It defied reason. Also, Bruno said it. That was reason enough for doubt.

They arrived at a shack. It was simple, made of mudbrick, finished with a thatched domed roof. A tall, crooked, clay brick chimney protruded from the thatch. The building seemed to be either octagonal or hexagonal. Which Sato couldn't tell. Off to all sides that lacked external doors were large glass greenhouses. Even those walls that lacked doors had a detached garden outside. In front of the main door, there appeared to be a pumpkin patch, or some similar gourd. They were much more brilliant and beautiful than their connector. They contained a vast array of colourful crops, none of which Sato could name. The whole structure was vaguely shaped like a glass snowflake with a mud core. The Sea seemed to recede away from the structure. It was odd yet seemingly natural.

The oaken door facing the party burst open, and a rotund little old lady came barreling out with a tray of baked sweets in mittened hands. "Welcome. Welcome. Got a fresh batch of my famous barley bites, boys, come get um while they're piping." She looked to Bruno. "Bruno, you shouldn't have come, you rat you. I told you never to come back," she sounded sweet but looked stern. Her voice was raspy like that of a lifelong smoker.

"Oh, Gran, you know me. I couldn't resist your barley bites." Bruno came right up to her and grabbed three piping bites, still steaming, and downed them in one. He went for seconds.

"No wonder you've grown so fat. I remember when they called you a hero. Might have to ship you back to your beloved Deepwood," Gran was indignant.

Bruno looked Gran up and down. "You're one to talk, old Gran. Looks like you can barely fit through the doorframe." She was indeed massive. She wore a big earthy-green dress under a massive brown apron. The apron engulfed most of the dress. It was covered, nearly everywhere, in green stains. Gran burst into laughter and smothered Bruno in a big, long bear hug. The tray shook violently, balancing on the tips of her fingers in her right hand. "My size befits me. Your gut does not." Bruno looked trapped and terrified. She was clearly the big man's equal.

Gran turned her attention to Sato. "You must be Sato, my dear. Please call me Gran. I have so much to teach you. We'd best get started." Gran noticed Rebe hanging towards the back of the party. "Oh, who's this sweetums here? Is this your little girlfriend, Sato? How thoughtful of you to bring her to see your Gran."

"No, Gran. Just a friend," Rebe replied. The reflexive denial one stung Sato slightly, even though it was entirely true. "My name's Rebbeca, but I go by Rebe. Pleasure to meet you." Rebe bowed her head slightly in respect.

"Oh, what a sweet young thing. And beautiful too. Sato, dear, you'd best ask her to be yours before some other handsome boy steals her away from you. Beautiful young women like us aren't available for long." Gran burst into uproarious laughter. Sato didn't find it funny. Rebe seemed to take it good-naturedly.

They all moved inside, except for the guards who waited outside, with barley bites aplenty. Gran made everyone leave their weapons at the door. Gran had zero tolerance for weapons in her home. She deplored violence of all kinds. Sato had thought to ask her if she would make an exception for Kintsugi, once he had it. He would need it to train properly. Gran had to think about it and only agreed under the pretense that it was for healing. She preemptively barred Sato from using the blade to cut, lash, or piece anything in her greenhouses. She didn't even want him to refer to it as a sword or blade. It was a tool, a scalpel. He was only to mend, never maim.

The inside of the cottage was nicer than the exterior. The walls were lined with jars and books and all manner of oddities Sato didn't recognize. The entire place was warm and smelled of fresh-cut flowers and fresh-baked cookies, a delightful pairing. The kettle on the stove was filled with " fresh barley tea that I brewed meself." Gran clearly loved barley. At a table in the corner, Bruno, Sier Amold, and Sier Temet settled in and began to discuss the dire wolf problem at length and in volume.

Gran lived alone out in the Sea with her plants and a few critters she had collected over the years. These included a red squirrel in a birdcage, an extremely oversized mouse, and an ugly old grey cat called "Toff" with spikey hair, scarred beyond belief. Gran said the cat had fought a dire wolf and won, which seemed preposterous. If they were as big as Sato imagined, a dire wolf could swallow that scrawny cat whole.

Gran removed her mittens, and her nickname immediately made sense. Her thumbs and other fingers were severely, not to mention caked in dirt. She set them on a peg in the wall and left the tray of surviving bites with Bruno and the knights. Only after ensuring both Sato and Rebe each had "a pair and spare." She fixed everyone tea, including the guards outside, and then fed her pets, mostly barely, except for the cat. He got some little sardine-like fish. Gran pulled the squirrel's birdcage down from its peg and summoned Sato and Rebe.

Gran led Sato and Rebe on a tour of the greenhouses. Those that were internally connected. The initial greenhouse contained plants that looked as like to eat you as the other way around. Maybe there had been some truth to Bruno's prior remarks. Another contains seemingly innocuous root vegetables. A third was filled with beautiful and colourful flowers.

The largest contained a tiny cutout of a forest. It had a small but thick grove of trees interspersed with mushrooms, wild grasses, and little ferns. A little cobblestoned patio of sorts dividing the grove and the centre house. Two rocking chairs, one draped in a colourful quilt, the other bare, rested on either side of a tiny table. On the little table was a little clay cup and a fat leather-bound book, clearly overstuffed with marks and tabs. The room was much too large. It was far taller than the hovel and even farther wider. Many of the trees grew up to the glass. A few had busted through and continued to grow outside. The whole roof was bending under the pressure.

"This is my terrarium. I spend most of my time over in those rocking chairs, watching the sea and the woods that meet it." Gran slowly settled into the quilted rocking chair, placed the cage on the ground, and opened the gate. The little squirrel rushed out and settled into the front pocket onto Gran's apron. Only its tiny head peeked out. Gran rolled her eyes but petted the squirrel gently.

"I will teach you about herbs. I will teach you about simple potions, salves, needlework, and everything you will need to know to use that scalpel of yours properly, but first, I need to speak to the girl privately. Go and gather all of these from my shelves." Gran thrust a scrunched-up scroll that had sat under the book into Sato's hands.

"But I..." The scroll was covered in a list, nearly a hundred long. Sato couldn't read a word of it. Luckily, there were crude sketches and some sort of numbering system...

"Go, now," her voice was sweet, but her face was stern. Sato bolted. He did not wish to upset his newest master.