The Refugee

We did not have to wait long in order to locate the demons. After their retreat from Gemmen, the demons made for the Unthelk mountains and had disappeared from the sight of our scouts. We had not known their bearing at the time, though a week after Father Alton’s funeral news once more came of their whereabouts.

The message came in the form of a battered man dressed in rags and bleeding from one arm. He apparently was crazed when priests of the Order found him, walking alone in the fields south of the Holy Mountain. He had apparently been without food or water for two days, and had collapsed by the time the priests reached him, muttering incoherently about demons and other, darker things.

When at last the man was fit to speak coherently, the things he said sent a shock through our network of communications. He told of a vast host of demons tearing through the lands to the south, led by Spineripper himself. The man had been a soldier in the army of the Spirit King, his final mission being to defend the capital city of Lokanos from the demon force that lurked just outside its walls, and he told of the failure of that army. They had been destroyed, slaughtered nearly to the man by the Demonfather and a new, mysterious general that none in the realm had seen before.

The man’s name was Olmar, and it was not long before I was able to meet with him myself. He repeated to me the things he’d seen, things that were all too similar with my own experience with Spineripper and his demon army. He was telling the truth.

We tried to get messengers to the King of the Spirit Kingdom, but to no avail. Half of them disappeared after entering the borders of the Spirit Kingdom and those that did not had turned back early for fear of a strange and horrific plague that had settled over the land, consuming men and livestock alike. Doubtless it was another plot of Spineripper’s design, though the fog of war kept our military experts guessing as to its exact source. Olmar himself was unable to comment on the disease, confirming that it had not afflicted the people of the Spirit Kingdom before or during Spineripper’s assault.

With no other options, we began our march southwards. We still hadn’t received those promised reinforcements by the Council of Carcinex, but even without we were nearly twenty thousand strong. We went to war with banners held high and the knowledge that should we fail, the Four Kingdoms would likely follow.

Lynessa’s concern had only grown as the hour of destiny drew nearer. She’d remained silent since the battle at Gemmen, drifting here and there on the edges of Daletopia or the Holy Mountain. She’d become my shadow, albeit a distant one, always present without speaking, noted but never noticed. Though she did not speak, her face darkened the closer we encroached upon the lands of her home kingdom. It was clear that the testimony of Olmar unsettled her greatly.

I decided to approach her the night before our host entered the lands of the Spirit Kingdom. Clouds covered the stars, casting the dry hills and valleys of the southern lands in shadow. The air was chillingly cool and deathly silent out beyond the edge of the encampment where Lynessa kept her nightly vigil. She shrouded herself in a dark cloak and crouched amongst a tumble of large boulders at the bottom of a narrow gulley, her eyes fixed on the swirling clouds above.

“We haven’t spoken in some time.” I said, inwardly cursing my knack for stating the blatantly obvious.

“There hasn’t been anything to say.” She responded, her voice faint in the still night air. She did not move, did not turn. A faint beam of moonlight broke through the ceiling of clouds above, casting her face a ghastly pale and reflecting silver in the tears on her cheeks.

“We will win.” I assured her, my voice firm. In my mind, there was no doubt of that fact, though my certainty did not seem to inspire her.

“I’ve already failed.” She said, “Fate has tested me and I’ve chosen wrong. I chose to flee this realm and abandon my home. I chose to stand by while Father Alton and so many others died at Gemmen.”

“You haven’t fled.” I said, “You’re still here, on the eve of the final battle of the Demon War.”

“Only because I couldn’t succeed in my cowardice.” She replied solemnly, “I’ve even failed in my betrayal. Now my kingdom bleeds for it. My home has been ravaged, my friends have been slaughtered, and all I’m left with in compensation is… you.”

Before, back when I first arrived in this world, I might have leapt to my own defense and argued back indignantly, but I was no longer the same man. I realized now that I was indeed a poor alternative to the world that could have been had someone nobler or braver been summoned in my stead, and surprisingly, I found that I did not care. I hadn’t had a choice in coming here, and while I had acted with selfish intent throughout most of my tenure in this world, I had reached my turning point. I no longer fought for my own sake. I no longer wished to return home. The only thing that mattered now was making up for the wrongs I had caused.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“You’re not.” She replied, turning to face me. Hatred was written over her features. Her words dripped with loathing. “It’s your fault I’ve ended up walking this road. You’ve tempted me with easy solutions and instant victories. You’ve built yourself up as a figure to be worshipped and you tear down anyone who stands to challenge you. You’re already the Legendary Hero and the Divine Speaker. Where does it end Dale? Will you keep pushing and manipulating everyone until they crown you King?”

“I never wanted this.” I said, trying to control my temper, “I never asked for any of it.”

“And yet you keep accepting it.” She replied, “You’re complicit. You always have been.”

“I’m righting my wrongs. I’m fighting your war, playing by your rules, all to make up for the harm I’ve caused!” I was shouting now, my voice ringing through the narrow gulley, “I’m not asking for fame and recognition, I’m not demanding power, at this point I’m not even trying to return home. Nothing I’ve been doing has been for my benefit, yet you still accuse me of looking out for myself.”

“It’s too late for all of that.” Lynessa replied, “Even if you truly don’t want it, power and fame will find you. Should we win and the demons are defeated, you will be regarded as the savior of this world. If you die, you will be memorialized, your crimes forgotten and eternally unpunished. You will never have to pay for what you’ve done.”

Okay, maybe I did care, just a little. That hurt. She wanted to blame me for everything, and to be honest, I was done arguing. Let her. I was through with this talk of blame and punishment. Wasn’t I atoning for my misdeeds by defeating the demons, wasn’t I doing what everyone had demanded of me since I got here?

“Fine.” I said, “Stay mad. In the end, it won’t be me you’ll hate for the rest of your life, it’ll be yourself. You were never going to be a hero, Lynessa. You will die hating yourself.”

I left her there in the gully, sobbing. I did not look back.