Not Anymore

Githl trembled as his hand lay over Itsuki, continually channeling magic to try and stabilize him.

"…I swear to you that I tried to save Worldwalker Usami too, but I only succeeded in dragging you into the barrier."

Itsuki's breathing grew labored as his blood ran cold.

"Tell me. What happened to her? Why did you say that?!" He gulped. "Please tell me that Usami is still alive!"

The head-ward shrunk slightly as he responded.

"She is more than likely, but… the Diluvian known as Reathe managed to capture her. She tried fighting to buy time as I dragged you inside, and now, well… I don't know where she is."

Itsuki's stomach rose before dropping into the abyss.

Sayaka was alive, but she'd been kidnapped?

But that would mean… after everything that happened…

His heart tensed as the rest of his memory flooded back. It was when she'd reached out toward him with a smile. Her grasp on his hand, grey eyes that glowed with light, and the conviction in her voice right before she gave him back hope.

'Please, Kisaragi. I don't want to be left alone anymore.'

*BA-DUMP* His heart wracked in pain at the reminder, the words echoing.

She'd meant it when she'd said it, he could tell. Yet he'd failed her anyway. He'd let her down—he'd let her go.

Just like he'd failed Kaede.

"Damn it!"

Agony. Grief. Desperation. He grimaced as they crushing his heart in a flood. Every part of his body screamed at him as he realized the situation.

After everything he'd done to improve and his self-promises, he'd failed to protect someone again. How pathetic was he?!

Dedicating the rest of his life to protecting others? Sent here to help this world? He couldn't even protect a single person that he cared about!

He drove his fist into his chest, hoping it would do something. But once again, nothing happened. All it did was sharpen the pain flowing through him.

Why was he always so useless?! He couldn't do anything right! Not helping, not saving others, not even existing! Hell, his own power was refusing to cooperate now—even it had realized how much of a lost cause he was!

His grip tightened as his body moved on its own.

Volunteer work, warm smiles, assuring others? He'd gotten so good at fooling himself into thinking he wasn't broken.

His legs forced him off the cot, tendons burning like fire as he stumbled up onto his feet.

He really was no more than a pretender. 

He didn't deserve to live.

"W-Worldwalker?! W-what are you doing?! Stop it! You're bleeding out!"

Itsuki ignored him, dripping red to the floor as his façade crumbled. Sayaka's words echoed in his head.

'I refuse to let them take you. Not like this—not when we're just getting started.'

*BA-DUMP*

He started walking. Where? He didn't know. He just wanted the pain in his chest to go away.

Hopefully permanently this time.

Their connection, the way she'd opened up to him despite her own sorrows right at the end. How had managed to screw up all over again?!

Every step across the floor spilt more blood as he clenched his fist and whitened his knuckles.

Wetness started streaming down his face.

Why had he ever thought for even a moment that he deserved another chance?! 

His breath hitched as he stumbled.

It hurt so much. He couldn't bear this.

"Worldwalker! Please, listen to me!" Githl's hands were both aimed at him, futilely channeling healing magic to stem the flow. Onlookers were starting to panic as they were at a loss for what to do.

"You shouldn't be walking in this state! Lie down before you kill youself!"

Itsuki continued to ignore his pleas, heading for the entrance as the crowd parted around him.

Why though? Why was he walking? Was it really because he wanted to die?

Heat flickered In his chest as tears rolled.

"…" No. That wasn't the reason.

His hands trembled as he kept staggering forward. Even if his power wasn't working, he refused to just lie down and let this happen.

He couldn't. Not again. He wouldn't be able to live if he did nothing.

*BA-DUMP*

Tears mingled with blood as they both dripped toward the ground. His legs began to falter, but he willed himself forward despite the pain.

He cursed himself with every fiber of his being as he thought of what Sayaka must've been going through now.

It was all because of him.

Because he couldn't stop seeing Kaede in her face! Because he couldn't let her go! Because he couldn't stop thinking of both of them! Because he couldn't sort out any of his damned feelings!

"Kisaragi!" Githl gasped, straining with magic. "Please stop this! I'm serious! You will die if you keep walking!"

"…" Die. There was the word once again.

Two memories rose to meet him in parallel, both visions of red coating the stone beneath his gaze. What he'd seen back on the day he'd seen Kaede at the cliff, and the other when Sayaka had almost died in his hands.

Itsuki's grip tightened enough to draw blood from his palm. He didn't know what was right anymore—only what he felt.

Light sputtered in his fist.

"I'd rather die than lose Usami!"

A burst of warmth suddenly ignited, and the air intensified with energy.

A fragment of chain clattered to the ground from Itsuki's chest. 

Half-healed wounds stitched back together, and a new glow shone from his hand with golden threads. It cast each part of him in gold as it swept through him. 

Then the threads stretched forth in a single direction as if reaching.

For a moment, he saw Sayaka unconscious in Reathe's grasp.

However, the vision abruptly ended in a flash.

Everything faded as the hum died down. Heat and energy lingered where'd it been until the light was completely gone.

"…" Itsuki's hand cautiously unclenched.

How had he just seen her just now? And why did he somehow feel stronger?

"W-Worldwalker Kisaragi, was that your divine power?" Githl hurried over to his side. He steadied Itsuki as a new breath filled his chest.

"I… don't know," he replied.

The rest of the room looked on in awe just as the two sisters arrived back.

"W-we brought help! Matron Velena is here! She was just looking for Mr. Hero outside!"

They panted while they caught their breaths against the entry, right as the matron approached him. She looked relieved and surprised that Itsuki was standing on his own.

"Kisaragi?" Velena reached out, exhausted but concerned. "What's going on? Where are your wounds? The sisters told me something was wrong."

As if on autopilot, Itsuki unwrapped himself and let his bandages drop to the floor in a pile. He looked down where his pain had once been, flexing a few muscles as he picked up his equipment and clothes.

Nothing hurt, at least not physically.

"…I think I'm doing okay."

He didn't bother to stop and think about it though. Multiple thoughts were already running through his head as he started getting dressed again. He slipped his shirt and equipment back on.

"It's Usami I'm worried about, Velena. She was captured a few minutes ago."

Her expression dropped in horror.

"Is that true, Head-Ward? By the triumvirate, please say it isn't."

"It is." He nodded hesitantly, looking at both Itsuki and her. "I only got Worldwalker Kisaragi through the barrier."

"Then I need to get her back immediately," Velena stated with a barely restrained fire in her typically calm gaze. "They couldn't have gotten too far. Where did they go?"

"I-I don't know, Matron." Githl fumbled over his words as sounds of combat drifted in from outside the cathedral. "I-I'm sorry, with everything going on I lost—"

"W-wait! I think I know where they are," Itsuki blurted out, feeling a tug in his heart guiding him in a direction. "I can't really explain it, but if you're going, take me with you to help! I think I can lead you to her."

Velena and the others looked surprised by the outburst, but she quickly nodded.

"I won't protest too much if you know their location, but are you certain that you're capable? We can't afford to have either of you captured, and this will be dangerous. There is no room for failure."

Itsuki palmed his mace as he picked it up from the floor, hefting it as the question spun in his brain.

"…" Was he capable?

Conflicting emotions raged within his heart at the thought. Guilt. Love. Comparison. Admission. Inadequacy. He had no idea about the extent of his power or if he could truly do anything.

Yet, he nodded in affirmation as he gripped his fist. He was certain of at least one thing aside from needing to try.

"I won't let go of what's important. Not anymore."