The Perfect Girl

Project Mary Muse.

Alternatively, Project Dulcinea.

I did not know much of the actual methods of the project. Even those titles I just picked up over the years and might not have been official.

The gist of it was that I had been artificially created to fulfill a certain role.

There was no sugar and definitely nothing nice; only cold, hard science. —Or so I thought, but considering my clearly supernatural disposition and recent discoveries about Tarisha, maybe something occult was involved in this after all.

Regardless, for my entire childhood, all I knew was those dispassionate scientists that frequently rotated such that I never really knew any of them.

I had no family, no parent figures. No siblings, either, although I heavily suspected that I wasn’t the only one.

All I had was a small room which served as my entire world, and at times a dark room where I was sent as punishment for doing things they didn’t like.

Which happened often.

I only realized this much, much later, but I was probably considered a great failure. Becoming unable to exhibit any emotions outwardly, I couldn’t serve the role of the “perfect heroine” that they sought from me.

Tarisha also arrived at some point, but I couldn’t really remember when. It must have been when I was around seven or so.

One day, I simply found myself able to conjure her. At the same time, I learned to wield her as well.

At first all the scientists grew excited—finally something interesting was happening. However, they realized that the sword made me much too dangerous.

I was sent to the dark room again, to remain alone, while I assume they studied the sword.

There, inside the only place I feared and hated my entire life, I deeply wished for some companionship… and found myself with Tarisha again. I had no idea how, but I gained the ability to summon her whenever and wherever I pleased.

When I came to the world of Avallux, I lied that I found her somewhere—but the truth was that I had this ability from way before.

In fact, when I realized I got stuck in C’s game, it came as a huge relief for me that I was able to summon Tarisha. Naturally no other VR game allowed me that, which also clued me in that something was wrong.

Anyway, not a lot happened during my early life.

For all the experiments they made on me, the scientists never gave me any physical harm.

And at some point, the project just died.

To this day I never found out why or how, but it got shut down. One day I was simply told that I would be going out into the world with barely any explanations at all.

I underwent what they called a “rehabilitation program” for a year and finally sent to a normal school.

I started living with a surrogate family, but we barely saw each other; probably their only purpose was to keep an eye on me and make sure I wouldn’t get in any trouble.

And that was my life.

Unusually for her, Mana never interrupted me even once during my story, not even to ask questions or request clarifications of any kind. Instead, she kept listening to me attentively. At certain points I even saw her biting her lips.

This made it somewhat harder to tell, especially when I wasn’t used to talking for so long at all, let alone about my past.

But it really felt like a relief.

It was the first time I told anyone about all this. Partly because I was instructed to keep my mouth shut, but mostly because I never had any real friends.

How would C and Kai have reacted, had I told them all this on our first day? I couldn’t even imagine.

And how was Mana going to react, right now?

I was scared to know. She might just shrug it off, but she might also treat me like a freak and stay away from me.

Now wouldn’t it be funny if she decided she preferred being at Three’s mercy instead?

I knew that outcome wasn’t realistic in the least, but I could never stop these kinds of thoughts.

“It must’ve been tough,” she said in a silent, contemplative voice.

I shrugged. There were some difficult times—I hated that dark room—but other than that, I had no strong emotions about anything.

This didn’t mean I was heartless, but simply that it bothered me way less than it did most people.

“Is that why you’re… always looking for a fight like that?” Mana continued.

“Hah, I guess. Ever since I first formed Tarisha… I kept wanting to use it on something. That got those guys scared,” I mumbled. “I was warned to never show her to anyone, let alone actually use her.”

Instead, I had to resort to all these violent VR games. Some came close, but they were never enough for me.

“So you were also manipulated by the adults around you, then.”

I could sense some familiarity in her words, but didn’t feel worthy to ask Mana about her own circumstances.

“I got somewhat close to using Tarisha, a couple of times… but I was only able to fulfill myself after coming here.”

“Fulfill yourself…?”

I finally turned to look at her. Her green eyes looked curious and a little sad. “I’m a tool meant for battle. Why else would I have this sort of power? I don’t know what I was created for, but that’s what they got.”

That was how I really felt.

And coming here only strengthened this impression.

I only felt alive when I actually used my powers for their intended purposes. I didn’t even care about getting hurt or whatever. As long as there was a challenge in front of me, I was willing to take it.

Mana looked very sad upon hearing this. I thought I even saw tears twinkling in her eyes. “You’re wrong.”

I shook my head. “I’m not.”

Mana did not say anything else. None of us spoke again that night, except for one final line.

“…I’m not wrong. That’s who I am,” I whispered, too low for Mana to hear, as if to reassure myself.