Chapter 29:
Until I am Remade
Masaru opens his eyes afresh with a flinch of frustration- no pain, it’s always too quick.
“Think you can stab me and get away with it?” he mumbles under his breath as he stares at the ceiling fan. “Tsk. Try that again and we’ll see how great you are.”
He leans up from the perfect, soulless white sheets, and hops out of bed.
Exiting his room, he feels an undercurrent of irritation. It’s not so much a disappointment, but something more akin to indignancy.
How dare that loser kill the atmosphere? He thinks with a wince. After we won! Come on!
He shakes his head.
Only a matter of time…
Calling the elevator, Masaru waits as The Doctor passes by with one of the nurses, both with clipboards held neatly at their sides.
Masaru stares at them both, and The Doctor gives a nod while the nurse gives a polite bow. They both head off as the door opens, leaving Masaru to himself once again.
“I’ll figure you out,” Masaru says, partially to himself, partially to the universe, as he steps into the elevator car and goes down.
In the lobby, Valerie’s already there and talking with Sato.
“-and I’m telling you… look, there he is. Ask him yourself,” saying this, Valerie turns to him, along with the other three.
Masaru meets the gazes of the others as he, with greater and greater ease, reads their [RES] stats:
Yuna, with 93 of 100, looking at him like a descending angel.
Sato, gray and clear with 11 of 100, peers at him as if he’s seeing his dad bust into the room asking about his job applications.
Finally, Kenji at 28 of 100, looks as if he’s finally seeing at a true, fellow man in Masaru.
Masaru clears his throat. “I assume we’re talking about our last loop.”
“Yeah,” Valerie says, her hand already on her sleeve to show her wrist as she turns back to Sato. “If you need any more proof, then look!”
Sato, leaning back on his comfy chair like a floating, fattened-up otter, has to stretch up a little from his place to actually see the faded ring on Valerie’s wrist.
His eyes widen from behind his glasses, as if the otter realized he ate a bad clam.
“Wh- I mean, sure, but Kenji’s done that, why do you think this is so big and important-”
“Don’t you get it? Masaru was there, in my level.”
Sato’s wide eyes widen even more as Yuna, her face hidden by her little notebook, practically bounces in her seat with excitement.
All Sato can do is blink in stupefaction as Kenji gives a long, sage nod.
“That’s good,” he says with a smile. “That’s really good. If we can go to each other’s problems, maybe that’ll be the key for some of these.”
Masaru smiles. “My idea precisely,” he says, opening his briefcase and flashing Valerie’s rifle round. “All I need is a part of your take-along and if we enter together, we show up at the same place.”
Yuna immediately begins flipping pages through her notebook and starts tearing out a blank one.
Sato scoffs before turning back to take a sip from his drink.
Kenji’s expression flickers a moment as he reaches for the magazine of his rifle, but his grip on it tightens.
“So,” Masaru says, “the next move is for us to all go together and take care of each other’s problems.”
The crisp tearing of notebook paper emits in the lobby as Yuna pops up from her seat and gives it to Masaru.
“I’m ready!” she exclaims, “we’ll figure this out together!”
A look of bemused surprise crosses Valerie’s face as she looks from Yuna, practically vibrating with excitement, to Kenji. “You have thirty of those rounds, don’t you?”
Kenji pauses a moment, stretches, and gets up to his feet. “I do, and I need every one of them.”
The atmosphere in the lobby pauses.
“What do you mean? Do you really mean to say that taking the three of us along is worth less than your one extra shot?”
Kenji, turning for the black doors, shrugs. “I can’t say for sure, but I know there’s just some things a man has to do alone. I’m going to get started on my next run-through.”
Valerie flinches. “Wh- are you serious?! I was only…” she scoffs as her face flushes with emotion. “The only reason I made it through was because Masaru helped me see past myself. You really think you can just do it all your own?”
Kenji, standing at the black doors, glances over his shoulder. “I have to do it all my own. For you all, that’s great, but I can’t trust people with my burdens.”
“Mister Kenji, please!” Yuna bleats, her pale fingers wrapping around her notebook. “Everyone needs help every now and again!” she adds, winning a chuckle from Sato, his smugness restored as he continues sipping his soda… but even so, there’s an undercurrent of unease in his gaze, as if he’s watching a train depart without him.
“You’ll understand one day, kid,” Kenji says before looking past Sato and Valerie, and addressing Masaru with his eyes.
The two stare at one another for a moment.
“You take care of them, for me,” Kenji says.
Masaru nods, winning a smile from the older man.
The veteran turns back to the doors and enters with a single, parting wave.
“You’re making a mistake,” Valerie says.
“Maybe I am,” Kenji says, “But I need to know if this is something I can do on my own. See you soon.”
At that, Kenji disappears through the doors, shadows of a lightless hall overtaking his form.
The four are silent with the exception of Sato loudly sipping on his emptying soda.
As if by the sound alone, one of the nurse mannequins appear with a readied cup of more sugary sips, but upon looking around at the four of them, their silence, their focus, it instead takes a few steps back around the corner to watch them.
Masaru places his hands on his hips, and sighs. “He’s definitely the old fashioned type.”
“I’ll say,” Valerie notes. “Like, I get it, but he’s going to need to open up if he’s going to get past his last two. He’s been stuck on them for as long as I’ve been here.”
Masaru nods. “We’ll win him over eventually,” he says as he turns to Yuna and gently messes up her hair.
“H-hey!” an already smiling Yuna snips back.
“For now, let’s do what we can with the people we have. Come on, Yuna.”
“O-oh! Right away?”
Masaru grins. “What? You think your big brother’s going to let you suffer in here any longer? Let’s go!” he says with an overblown point to his chest.
Valerie pulls her hand up to her face to hide her laugh, but Yuna immediately leaps into his arms with a great big hug.
“Alright! Let’s do it! I’m so happy you’re here, big brother Masaru!” she cheers as she buries her face into his chest.
Masaru at first isn’t sure how to interpret this, but hugs back as best he can without looking weird.
Poor kid’s got nobody here to help her until now, I guess, he thinks just as he catches Sato’s gaze of cindering, demonic envy.
Masaru cannot help himself, and glances back at the poor guy with the most professional smile he’s able.
“What about it, sir?” Masaru asks. “You going to sip all day or are you coming with us?”
“Yeah, Sato!” Yuna starts as she pulls away from Masaru, “We can help each other! It’ll be like The Super Shifting Henshin Rangers!”
Sato’s scowl, hidden in part by the unsightly folds of his grease-lined skin, trembles with emotion.
“Ha! Bah! You think… you think you can just fix everything with other people! You won’t be able to beat them all so easily. It was a joke! It’s just leading you all on! It doesn’t let you leave, it just feeds off your despair!”
Valerie’s about to snap back at him, but Masaru, still grinning with an energy that seems to surpass any source of light in the grimness of their reality, speaks up first.
“If we’re wrong, we die just like you, but if we’re right, then we’ll have fought our way out, tooth and nail, by every centimeter!”
Sato scoffs bitterly. “Suffering without any guarantee of it meaning anything… What kind of life would that be?!”
Masaru, his smile disappearing, searches Sato’s eyes before delivering his answer.
“…It would be one.”
He turns for the door, Valerie and Yuna following along with him. The three walk up to the black doors with bated breaths.
As many times as it takes, Masaru determines in his mind as he opens the black doors out of the hospital and leading to their next battles. We’ll make it out of here… anyone that wants it badly enough, at lea-
“WAIT!”
The three turn around just in time to watch Sato slip out of his chair, and plop onto the hospital tile. “Wait! Wait!”
Masaru focuses in on the man struggling to even get to his feet. He’s watching his [RES] lift in real time.
“I… I don’t want to die here!” Sato sobs out.
17 / 100…
“I… I just don’t see a way!”
Valerie takes a hand from the barrel of her rifle to set on her hip. “You don’t have to see a way, Sato. You just need to try.”
24 / 100…
The spectacled shape of a man waves down the nurse from the corner, who rushes up to help him to his feet. Taking off his glasses, he wipes the tears from his face. “Do you… can you promise me we’ll get out of here?”
Valerie looks to Masaru, and he nods.
“Sato. You’re looking at three people who are not going to give up. We have each other, so we’re going to keep each other afloat. We won’t lose until we give up… and we won’t give up.”
39 / 100…
Sato’s eyes widen like Yuna’s did earlier, but instead of a descending angel, it is as if he’s witnessing the arrival of a Sun Goddess – so incandescently glorious that it defies all sense of aesthetic taste.
“I…” he takes a moment to swallow his dread, and he reaches forward with his glasses to Masaru. “It’s better than just giving up, isn’t it?”
Masaru nods, reaching forward and accepting Sato’s take-along. “Even if it’s a 1% chance… even if it’s less than that, it’s still worth fighting through it. Adversity creates resilience, resilience creates strength… and it’s time we show this ‘god’ just how strong we can be.”
Shit, did I really say that? Cool… Masaru muses as Sato trembles up to a stand.
44 / 100…
And as Masaru watches him reflect on the words, his [RES] shoots even higher.
51 / 100…
57 / 100…
Finally it peaks up to 64 / 100.
Masaru glances over to Valerie, who gives him a knowing, surprised glance.
“Alright!” Sato exclaims. “Whatever happens, happens. Let’s do this thing!”
The clock reads 8:17 PM.
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