Chapter 61

Tarnis… I could see the fortress looming on the horizon from the hill we were standing on. Karim and Manelia stood by my side, their faces sombre as they watched the plain stretching out below us. This was it… Tomorrow, we would march into battle, and no one knew what would come after that. I shivered in the late evening sun. A gust of wind ripped the countless banners soaring in our camp below us, and I pulled my cloak closer. I imagined they tried to reach the sky, calling on Goddess to defend this world once more. By tomorrow evening, everywhere I looked would be soaked with blood.

I stared at the field. I had to believe. If I faltered, everything would be lost. They would go to war for me… I had to stay strong, for them.. We all knew that no matter what happened tomorrow, many of our friends would never leave this field. I had to believe…

“Tomorrow we will cross the river,” Manelia said.

Karim nodded.

“The sun will rise again.”

I began to whisper to myself to push away the fear,

I may be small

but I am strong,

covered in scars,

I know I won.

I made my choices

and paid the price.

I don’t regret

walking this path.

There was no turning back. Tonight, the spell casters would forge the bridges, and as the first light rose on the horizon, our troops would cross the river. Ever since we had arrived, fear and despair had pulsated in the air, the darkness pushing against our hopes and trying to find a way in, but so far, we’d held against it. The soldiers still believed in their Goddess. If only they knew how much I had doubted myself in the last days… But she doubted herself, too, I reminded myself for the umpteenth time.

“We’ve done what we could”, Karim concluded.

Manelia nodded and turned to me.

“More have come than we could ever have expected. Thank you, my lady.”

He bowed his head, and we turned and walked back to the horses. I could feel the darkness in the air. It had forced the Imperium to gather its armies, even against their better judgment, and march them to Tarnis to meet us in battle. It was biding its time, Karim had said. Its best chance would be to let us cross the river. Then, it would be too late for us to turn back.

We mounted the horses, and I kept whispering as we rode back to the camp,

I dispel the darkness

and bring the light.

I don’t regret

walking this path.

The camp was quiet as we entered. Too silent for such a large gathering. I shivered. I had to believe… Countless eyes followed me with hope and reverence as I passed. I had to stay strong, for them… I took a deep breath and began to sing quietly,

Soft like a feather,

hard like a steel…

Those who heard it picked it up, letting the song spread until the whole camp filled with a quiet murmur and the last rays of the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

“Night of feathers”, Manila whispered.

I nodded, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“Join us, my friend”

He smiled, surprised by this sudden gesture from his Goddess, and nodded.

Uruk had told me that it was an old tradition of his people, one that had spread with those who defended Tarnis through the South. Night of Feathers. A night of compassion and forgiveness towards those you might not meet again… A night to celebrate friendships and say goodbye before it was too late.

We dismounted and walked over to the tent where the others waited for us. They stood silently, and I could see Selene fretting with her sleeve. I walked over to them, wrapping my arm around them, and we stood in silence. Would this be the last night together? I pushed away the tears. None of us wanted to break the embrace, and I wished that we could stay like this forever…

I closed my eyes, and I couldn’t hold back, and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Stay safe”, I whispered and finally let go of them.

I saw Uruk wiping tears from his cheeks, and he brought his clenched fist to his chest before walking out. Selene gently squeezed my hand, and Karim put a hand on my shoulder and nodded. They would visit those they knew, while I would wander through the camp, visiting those I didn’t know but who knew me. It was late when I finally came back to my tent and collapsed on my bed. Tomorrow, the battle would begin.