Learning to Scream

Something guttural and powerful roared in the darkness of the hidden grotto. As it growled with wrath and depth, it was echoed by another sound. The echo was not as powerful or refined. It was learning. More roars sounded out and were followed once more by the higher voice. It was as though a great and powerful beast was teaching its young how to strike terror in its prey.

All across the caravan, whispers of confusion danced across the metal vessels as the guardians and revolutionaries wondered what in the sounds was happening in that nearby grotto.

The sounds were heavy, roughened, throaty, lamenting, and fierce. It was the voice of Saxum, followed by the voice of Sayane.

“So, it’s like, from the back of the throat for me!” Sayane observed as her fingers touched her esophagus.

Saxum had explained his people’s songs were something very deep, screaming, dense, and dark. Their vocalizations of ancient tongues were scraping, growling, roughened shouts and roars. Generations of sorrow and slow rage had made them all the more intense. He could barely remember any lyrics, because their elders were all gone now. All he could do was help Sayane grasp the complex vocal challenge that was their song.

She inhaled then relaxed her diaphragm and let out a powerful burst of sound that sounded like it was tearing at the edges.

“By the stars…” Attis muttered from a nearby ledge.

For Sayane, it was a fascinating challenge. So far, in all of her journey, she was relying on the vocal capacity she had mastered through years of training and performing. This new genre was beyond anything she had ever done. Still, her former life had some reference for her to leverage.

“This is like the metal bands my record had on its side label!” Sayane said as she clenched her fist in resolve.

“Metal?!” Saxum asked with a sheepish bit of excitement sneaking out.

Sayane’s eyes lit up.

“Oh my goodness, you’re going to love this. Get this. We had a music genre called ‘metal’ but it was part of a larger, heavy, intense genre. Guess what that genre was called?!” Sayane asked with a clap.

“What?” Saxum replied.

“ROCK!!! Rock music!!!” Sayane cheered as she skipped with excitement.

“WHAT?!!!” Saxum shouted in joy.

“Yes! Right?! And my label had a few bands that sang like this! I’ll try to recall their sound! Hurry ahead with Erosc and tell your people that tomorrow night they are getting a rock concert!!” Sayane clapped.

Saxum let out a roar of excitement that sounded like a gunshot. He lumbered away and Sayane’s gaze darted to Attis and Echo, who were as shocked as she was.

“Can your voice tolerate such a challenge? It sounds very harsh.” Echo asked.

“I can do this!” Sayane said as she began to vocalize more growls and shouts.

Every shout allowed her to receive feedback. With each new sound, she shifted her tongue and throat muscles to compensate. Some felt wrong. Some were easy. It was like her voice was shifting into an entirely different persona. As she sounded out the new calls, she tried to recall the music she had heard from label-mates and the occasional metal show in dingy Tokyo clubs.

“Okay, let’s see. Double drums. Bass. Lots of bass. Guitars. Choirs. Breakdowns. Breakdowns! I can do this! I can do this!!” Sayane said as she shifted her voice into a growl.

“Costume! Gonna need a cool new outfit!” Sayane said with a snap of her fingers.

“Okay, let’s go find Can-Mo. I’ve got quite the request for him,” Sayane said as she scooped Attis into her arms.

“From Revolutionary Songstress to Rock Priestess! I’m excited!” Sayane said as she held out her palm.

“I know you’ll do amazing. Let’s do this!” Echo said as his hand slapped her palm in agreement.

Saxum left with Erosc’s contingency of revolutionaries. They were to go ahead to drum up excitement and gather as many as possible. Other members of The Revolution had already departed towards nearby realms to deliver the Voice Carrier crystals, so that all who were interested could listen to the coming sounds. Sayane couldn’t help but chuckle that for many, their first exposure to song in their lifetime was going to be heavy metal.

That night, the Voice Carrier crystal sounded.

“We have arrived and are being hosted for dinner by our comrades. Word has spread swiftly, songstress. Expect at least a thousand just in attendance,” said Erosc’s voice.

“Thank you, Erosc! You have done well. I am grateful for your efforts,” Sayane replied.

“Well done, Erosc,” Azag agreed.

“Rest, comrades. Tomorrow, we will be waiting for you,” Erosc said calmly.

The crystal dimmed and Sayane returned to her leafy soup. Azag reclined in his chair and rubbed the side of his head with a tired sigh as he grimaced aloud. So much had happened, Sayane hadn’t noticed he seemed more stiff and fatigued than usual.

“Azag?” she asked.

He chuckled.

‘I’m fine. Traveling is just a challenge for me. My body doesn’t do well with unfamiliar beds or seats. So it is telling me it is more unhappy than usual. Regardless, I am grateful for the comforts we have,” Azag said as his fingers pressed into his knee.

Sayane felt his drained spirit and moved to be closer to him.

“Here,” she said as she held out her palms to touch his chest.

When her hands touched his body, she began to hum. It was soft. Quiet. Intimate. Pulses of golden light ebbed across her hands and into his chest and he let out a sigh of relief and comfort.

“That feels lovely. Thank you,” he sighed as his eyes narrowed but did not close.

Sayane continued to hum until the golden waves had coated his entire body. Thinking of what she saw that night after the attack, Sayane wondered what sort of agony he lived in every day.

“Do you ever not feel pain?’ she asked quietly.

His eyes opened with a somber glow as he shook his head.

“Well, I take that back. There’ve been a few times recently,” he said in a smiling tone.

They were close now. She could hear his breaths contacting the metal of his mask. Even though he was sitting and she was standing, he was still almost eye level with her. Sayane met his gaze, and it seemed to embarrass him, causing him to look away and down at the floor.

Sayane continued to hum. There was a pause, then his hand rested over hers. He couldn’t hold her gaze, but he wanted to hold her hand.

“For me, this was more than I could ever have expected to feel. I’ve spent my whole life denied such basic experience as touch, simply because of my race. Then, they ripped me apart from the inside out. And I knew, for so long I knew, that I’d die without ever connecting with another or even sharing a simple handshake…”

He finally looked up to her.

“I am sorry, Sayane. I know you wish for more, but it is taking me a bit of time to accept your touch, even though my very soul screams to feel you. Please, know that I want you,” he whispered as his hand met her jaw.

Listening to his explanation calmed Sayane. She understood. Decades of being deprived of touch or connection had left scars on Azag’s psyche that matched the scars on his body. Though Sayane wanted nothing more than to feel as much of him as possible, she knew the time would come. For now, she cherished the quiet moment of feeling his chest rise and fall beneath her hands while his palm held her cheek.

“You can sleep with me, if you like…” she whispered.

Though it sounded risque, her offer was purely in support. Her bed was large, comfortable, and she could hum him to sleep. To her surprise, he paused, then nodded silently. Flutters of elation and girlish excitement rushed through Sayane’s body as the two of them entered her small cabin. But she knew it was just to sleep. There would be time for other explorations and revelations. For now, she needed to rest.

Tomorrow, she was going to hold her first metal show.