Truth and Lies

My three party members stood around the campfire, all focused on me and all visibly angry.

“Well? Do you want to explain yourself?” Pira asked impatiently, her arms crossed and her fingers drumming against her elbows.

I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. They had every right to be upset. The bags under their eyes gave proof of that; they had all clearly lost sleep because of my disappearance.

“I’m sorry.” I finally mumbled. I took a few steps closer and stopped, unsure what to do or say next.

“So what happened?” Estelar filled the silence. His tone was warm as usual, but there was an underlying sharpness that indicated he was as cross as the others. “We were all worried about you throughout the day today, and then you just wander off alone in the middle of the night?”

Before I could reply, Andra piped up. “I couldn’t sleep with you so off today. I was tryin’ to figure out what I could do for ya. When I heard your tent open I figured you were just steppin’ out to whiz or something so I sat by the fire and waited.”

“When you didn’t come back, she woke us up,” Pira interjected with a scowl. “We tracked your footprints for a while, but they just kept going, and eventually we had to turn back. It was too late and too dark to keep at it.”

Andra, who had apparently been holding her emotions in check for most of the conversation, finally gave in to her exasperation. She put her hands on her hips and stared me down, eyes flashing. “Are you just stupid or were you tryna kill yourself? Have you not learned how dangerous the woods are yet? Especially alone at night! Have you learned nothin’ from me this whole time?”

As I focused my gaze on the ground, my brain struggled to parse each word they said. I could feel myself dissociating; the emotional fallout of what I’d just done, combined with the stress of being confronted by my party, overwhelmed my consciousness.

“Alone, huh?” I muttered under my breath.

For a moment, I was surprised that they thought I’d left the camp alone. No one had picked up on the maid who had been with me the whole time. Andra had been chosen in large part for her tracking abilities, her relationship to nature and everything that interacted with it. She tended to notice every small change in the trees, every slight alteration in the terrain. She certainly had never let anyone in the party sneak up on her. But even she was no match for that superhuman maid’s stealth in service to the prince.

“We just want answers,” Estelar put up a hand toward Andra before her outburst could continue, and with a huff, she conceded. “We were all terrified thinking of what may have happened to you.”

“So what DID happen?” Andra asked. “Where did you go?”

“Can I have some time to think?” I asked quietly, not making eye contact. My head was spinning; I needed to organize my thoughts before my head exploded.

“No! You may not.” Pira snapped. “You don’t need to think about it to tell us what’s going on. You can just tell us the truth. That should be easy. Now speak.”

I was caught out. I had nothing left but to tell them what was really going on. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what they’d think of me, afraid that they would look at me with disgust and derision. I knew the truth would change everything. But after the things that I’d done, even if they hated me, even if they never spoke to me again. I would be glad to get the weight of this secret off my chest.

My party is made up of good people. I raised my eyes and looked at the faces of each of my party members. They were concerned, they were annoyed, but they weren’t hostile. They just wanted me to be okay. I was sure they’d understand if I started from the beginning.

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything.” I felt myself fidgeting, fighting the chilly tendrils of anxiety creeping into my mind as I made the decision. They waited expectantly. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak.

“It’s okay, Proxy, I can take it from here.” The maid’s voice emerged from the dark tree line beyond the camp.

My three teammates swung around, surprised at the sound of this new voice. When they saw the maid, they barely relaxed; none of them was very comfortable with her. That was a good instinct. Andra looked like her hackles were up, Estelar frowned, and Pira seemed affronted by the newcomer.

“Where did you come from?” Pira asked. I realized that she was probably irritated that the maid had sidestepped the security measures that Pira always set up when we made camp. I couldn’t imagine the security system that could stop the maid from going where she wanted to.

“Although the Proxy initially left the camp of his own accord,” the maid began, ignoring Pira’s question, “he was lured further and further away by the hypnotic and hallucinogenic secretions of these.”

The maid held up the limp body of what looked like an amphibian. It was about the size of her palm, its skin a mottled purple color with a dull sheen, and she dangled it by the tail. It was clearly dead.

“How could that be?” Andra looked skeptical as she eyed the creature. “Jlenks are found waaay to the south. I doubt one could survive this climate for even a day. What was it doing here?”

“Simple: Sabotage,” The maid stated frankly. The word made everyone’s eyes widen. “Someone brought it here on purpose. Through the machinations of Prince Elias's competitors, our Proxy was almost lost and killed tonight.”

A silence hung in the air. The team visibly processed the maid’s words.

“That’s against the rules…,” Andra began, her face grave.

“History is written by the victors,” The maid replied, “Or so Master Elias would say.”

“You're too naive,” Pira murmured in Andra's direction. “This is a war to determine the fate of the entire kingdom, attempting to harm a proxy like that is an inevitability.” Her fingers curled into a fist, knuckles white, as she considered what had almost happened, according to the maid.

Estelar looked again at the dead amphibian, then back to me. Suddenly, he was at my side, ready to administer whatever aid would be necessary to help me “recover” from the effects of the creature. I felt sick to my stomach as his concerned eyes peered into mine and the web of lies expanded.

Estelar looked me over for a few moments and then leaned back, thoughtful. “For someone so deeply entranced, you seem rather well. You must’ve gotten incredibly lucky…” He glanced back at the maid, who hadn’t moved.

She nodded. “I was assigned to watch over your endeavors at a distance but not interfere with the competition,” she said. “I was doing exactly that when I saw the Proxy wander out of the camp. It was quite fortunate that he walked right past me in his trance. I followed him and was able to break the spell, but the perpetrator disappeared. I considered giving chase, but the priority was to get the Proxy back here safely.”

I felt my face flushing but kept my gaze lowered. Such a neat, tidy story.

“That’s a miraculous coincidence, him walking right past you like that,” Pira said, eyebrow raised. Then she chuckled. “I suppose that’s more likely than our Proxy here going on a midnight marathon and returning alive on his own.”

“Exactly, he knows better,” Andra said. She looked slightly relieved that I hadn’t been stupid enough to go exploring on purpose. She also still looked ready to fight something, anything.

Tears formed at the corners of my eyes, and I blinked to dispel them before the others could see. Of course the prince and the maid had a contingency plan in case my party got suspicious. Of course they had a myriad of falsehoods at the ready to explain away anything that came up. Of course I wouldn’t be allowed to tell my teammates anything resembling the truth. The truth was far too dangerous, and I was in far too deep.

I felt Estelar’s hand on my arm, patting me reassuringly. I probably looked embarrassed to have been led astray by a hallucinogenic frog thing. The obvious care and concern of my party humbled me.

“You all have a long day ahead. I’d recommend getting some sleep.” The maid nodded to us all before turning to walk away.

“Hang on, let me thank you one more time for the help,” I blurted out, following her. I needed more information, answers, something. Estelar stepped away to allow me to pass. Pira and Andra looked at each other and shrugged, but they let me go.

I walked with the maid to the edge of camp, waiting to speak until I was sure we were out of earshot of the others.

“Do not worry, our pursuers and the rest of the princess’s camp have been adequately dealt with,” she said before I could ask.

Adequately dealt with? Surely not…

“D-did you kill them?” I forced myself to ask, a shiver running through me.

She looked pointedly at me. “It was the most efficient solution to clean up after your blunder.”

Not a hint of remorse.

I was to blame.

I wanted to vomit.

Suddenly, we were at the edge of the woods, the dark forest spreading out beyond the glow of the campfire. The maid paused. I tried to organize my thoughts; I had more questions, more concerns, more -

“Good night Proxy,” she said in her familiar matter-of-fact tone.