Mind Shaken

Climbing up, Joshua's shoes patter as they slam against the stairs on the way to his room. In its midst he voices his concerns to his draconic companion

“Hey Draxis, I’ll be honest with you, We both know that by this point Blackwood isn't matching my memories at all. Things have been going way too smoothly. Aside from yesterday. I’m a bit perturbed and anxious not knowing what's going to happen next. Its making me feel as if going backs just a cruel joke being played on me.”

“Really...” Draxis replies sarcastically as Joshua being a bit out of touch with his emotions at the moment misses the vocal queue. "You're missing a huge point kid. You should have already assumed things would play out differently. You didn't think that you'd live the same life as before right? With me around, like hell you're going to live in squalor and misery. I WON'T LET YOU!!!. Draxis's voice hisses IN CONTEMPT AS THE SHEER THOUGHT.

Joshua taken aback, takes a deep breath. Hesitant to provoke his equally temperamental master. "The more I spend time with him, the more he reminds me of my time with Roxy.” His eyes wander the floor of his room then towards the window as a chill shoots down his spine.

“Who is Roxy…" Joshua's throat tightens. "Oh yeah, she was the mercenary king wasn’t she. I vaguely remember that from your memories." Calmly Draxis changes the subject. "Hey kid, remember that I can hear you're thoughts, don't try and be sneaky with me. I have no choice but to whip you in shape if I want to find my body.” Joshua understandingly nods his head. “Also take into account that this is probably the first time anyone’s ever traveled back in time, so changes are bound to occur.”

Joshua looks back down towards his hands clenching his fists. “I guess you're right master. I’d better get changed and head back to the drill hall if I don’t want a repeat of this morning.” a shiver climbs up his spine thinking about Layrn’s mood swings. About nineteen minutes later, finally back at the drill hall Joshua hears the sound of clashing metal inside. “I guess they got started without me.” Stepping closer to the door, the sounds reverberate into the outside world.

Opening the door, Joshua walks over to the side of the training section where Susanna is busy sitting. Sitting himself down to her right, the two of them watch the twins spar with long swords. Vilhelm leading the assault. “Hm, so it is like she said, the two of them have completely different style of fighting. It’s amazing how she could figure that out with watching them fight.” Joshua nods to Susanna as she comments on the spar.

Chiming in himself, he nods his head. “You seem to be right Anna. She definitely has a good eye for people. It’s a pity that she works here, I’m sure my father could get her a better job. He rewards talent and hard work.” Wilhelm cuts him off as he stops in the middle of their sword clash to greet him. “Glad you could finally make it, go ahead and grab the sword captain left for you. It’s over by the window.”

Joshua pauses for a moment, shocked by the sudden stop before going to pick up the blade left for him and casually swings it around. Feeling its hilt and blade, he knows its extremely light for its size and well crafted. "I wonder who made this blade, it reminds me of Kagatsuchi's work. It's just not as 'refined'.

“Looking puzzled,” Vilhelm feeds his curiosity. “It’s made of some fancy material; Apparently it’s a bastard sword from her own collection.”

“Well then, I wonder what is made of then?” Joshua eyes Vilhelm carefully. “And clearly after receiving such a lovely gift, I can’t just let it go to waste. Vilhelm i know you and Wil stopped y'all's fight. Come at me and show me what you’ve got.” Waving his fingers towards himself. Vilhelm immediately falls for the taunt as he launches towards him swinging his sword to the side trying to knock Joshua off balance. However, the impact falls flat as his blade barely budges at all.

Joshua’s body recounts the many years of sword play as his feet stay firmly planted on the ground. Beginning to smile confidently, he continues “You’re going to have to try harder than that.” Joshua's eyes open wide as he continues to taunt his brother. His thirst for battle starts to leak out. Flickers of red dance across his body. The two of them begin trading blows, with each of them pouring everything they have into this fight. Swing after swing the blades clash as the sounds reverberate through Wolf squad's ears.

Sitting down beside Susanna, Wilhelm is left in complete awe. “Vilhelm, when did you learn how to do that. And why are you two taking this so seriously.” He mumbles aloud.

Susanna responds to Wilhelm’s curiosity, “Sometimes people just have a natural talent for things it looks like theirs is clearly swordsmanship.”

“But what about me, every time I’ve tried to learn swordsmanship, it’s felt unnatural to me. It’s like I’m missing something essential. Beyond that, Joshua hasn't even held a sword aside from the two weeks he spent training.” Wilhelm exasperatedly looks down at his sweaty palms.

Looking towards him with a calm smile Susanna replies calmly. “Then you just have to find out what ‘it’ is. Next time Layrn swings by mention it, she’s not a bad person. Just a bit unhinged sometimes. After all it's her job to help us learn to fight and survive in this cruel world.”

“I guess I can try that.” Wilhelm taking a deep breath continues watching the show before his eyes.

Parrying an overhead strike, Joshua quickly blocksit with his cross guard causing Vilhelm to stagger back. Ramming his blade forward he knocks Vilhelm off balance as he barely manages recovering his stamina. Letting out a ragged cough Joshua sighs after another slug-fest lasting twenty minutes, Joshua’s lifetime of experience shows itself, just as Vilhelm plans on delivering a finishing blow.

Bending his back carefully, Joshua avoids his strike causing Vilhelm to stagger back confused as Joshua flips his sword grip and thrusts his blade with both hands knocking the sword from Vilhelm's grasp. Nearly stabbing through his index finger in the process.. Placing his blade to his throat he gazes at Vilhelm with cold red eyes. “Do you yield?”

Throwing his hands up in surrender Vilhelm drops to the ground. “Yeah, yeah. I surrender.” Extending his arm outwards towards Vilhelm, he helps him back to his feet. “Nice match Vil.”

” Likewise, Joshua.” Vilhelm smiles, ever so slightly now afraid of his little brother. Now as they were exchanging pleasantries, a slow clapping could be heard from the doorway causing everyone to turn and acknowledge the presence. “Wolf Squad Attention.”

Everyone immediately gets in formation greeting the commandant himself immediately. “What’s he doing here?”

“Who knows, just stay on guard.” Draxis responds quickly.

“I’m quite glad to see everyone working so hard, I just figured I’d just pop in and see what Layrn had implemented for her training curriculum, After-all she's new here and I wanted to make sure everything was up to par. Thankfully though it seems my worries were for naught as it seems there are quite a few diamonds in the rough here. Aside from that, I also wanted to let everyone know that my vice lieutenant has openings for a special program for anyone wanting extra training.”

“He’s the guy who took out a lich right.” Wilhelm looks around causing the Commandant to let out a small chuckle.

“Indeed, now I must bid you all adieu as I have some paperwork I need to catch up on.” With that, the commandant starts to leave just as soon as he came. However, he stops and turns to Joshua before leaving.

“Oh Joshua, nice form and decisive strikes. In combat it will serve you well. Never hesitate against your enemies.” The commandant finishes as he exits the drill hall.

“Thanks, I guess.” Joshua then closes his eyes as his mind starts thinking further about Andric because of his mention.” “Andric…” Joshua mumbles under his breath with enough venom that everyone present could feel it. His eyes flash for a moment, a vision of Andric performing experiments on one of his former squad mates after they got injured. His temper began flaring, that same red aura started bubbling over the ground under his feet, scorching the flooring. Instantly the grip on his blade tightened.

“What’s wrong Joshua, and what were you saying about Andric?” Vilhelm probes his mind as Joshua takes a deep breath. The energy quickly dissipating into a mist of red..

“Nothing, I just need to go clear my head. I’ll be back.” Joshua brushes him off and heads to the exit.

“Whatever you say Joshua.” The twins look at him with confusion before getting back up and continuing where they left off sparring, somehow still having plenty of energy.

“I don’t understand these boys.” Susanna mumbles as she attempts to follow Joshua; Somehow though, she instantly loses sight of him as he runs away from his drill hall.

Running off and dipping to the side of nearby tree Joshua takes a deep breath before turning around and resting his forehead against its bark. “Why did I just lose my cool in there, and why do I keep having my memories flash in my mind.” Joshua growls in frustration.

“Residual trauma obviously, Draxis comments.

Shaking his head, Joshua ref Draxis’s comment, he begins pacing around the campsite lost in thought. Memories of his previous life flickering to life in his eyes. Images of experiments, and fallen cadets all visualized in his mind. He sighs as he continues wandering around, looking off in the distance where he sees the cabin of stag squad and slowly wanders towards it. A faint sense of fondness coming to mind as his past memories effected his mental state. As he to get closer however, an older man wearing a coat and a mask covering his face approaches him with a question,” What’s wrong cadet? I can tell somethings bothering you.”

Not paying very much attention to the man as he’s lost in thought, responds with another question. “You ever just feel like you’re lost, like you don’t know what you should be doing and the past is just weighing you down.”

The older man eyes Joshua curiously as the boy continues. “Like, imagine a whole other lifetime full of failures and trauma won’t let you go.”

“Hmmm,” The man takes a long pause trying to understand the boy’s strange question.

“You know cadet, I think I might understand. It’s kind of like taking a long walk down memory lane. Everything seems so familiar yet alien. Like your memories only hold a small piece of a grander picture. What I would recommend is not dwelling on the past and solely looking towards the future. If you can’t let go of the past and whatever issues it holds, it’ll always hold you back from your true potential.”

“One must soar like an eagle into the great unknown.” A soft smile crosses the older man’s lips as the two of them speak the same phrase.

“I don’t know your situation cadet, but if I were you, I'd try to live in the here and now. You were sent here to train and grow, so I would solely focus on that, don’t let your thoughts cloud your judgment.” With that, the older man walked away having said his peace. Turning around Joshua then realizes who he was talking to. It was Gyles, his original instructor. A man who tried to turn every humbling situation into a life lesson to help his cadets learn and grow.

“He definitely would’ve honestly made for a better philosopher over teacher though. He always took a hands-off approach to physical training and just left everyone to themselves.” Joshua began chuckling to himself as Gyles words of wisdom resonated with his worn and torn soul. After that, he just continues walking around lost in thought, reflecting on his resurfaced memories and what to do about Andric. Eventually a few hours pass and before he knows it, the sun had already set and the moon was now shining its light upon his face. “I guess I should head back now.”

“Probably, you’ve been mindlessly wandering around for a few hours now.” Draxis finally lets his concerns be known. “I get it kid, you feel weighed down by everything in your past. All the trauma, pain, loss; Don’t forget that I’m here as well. " Don't give up." Don’t bottle everything up; Talk to me, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Thanks, Master.” Letting out a small chuckle, “I’ll keep that in mind.” The duo eventually make their way back to his sleeping quarters.

Gently opening up the door, Opens it up to see a letter resting on his bed. “I wonder who that’s from?” Quickly shutting his door, he walks on over picking up the note. Quickly scanning it, he begins reading it aloud.“Hey Joshua, I know you looked a bit distraught and upset before you left in a hurry, I just wanted to let you know that we’re all here for you. We all have things going on ourselves and want to make sure you know that you’re not alone.

Also, I wanted to properly thank you for rescuing and patching me up yesterday.”

Looking down, Joshua feels a weight lifting from his heavy heart. Getting ready to fold it up and put the note away the notices an extra note at the bottom.

“P.S. In the morning Layrn wants to help Wilhelm and Vilhelm pick out new weapons, don’t be late. Meet all of us in the drill hall tomorrow. I also put the sword in your room beside your bed, I hope you have a good night.”

Placing the note down he sighs to himself. “Maybe Gyles was right, I just need to let go of the burdens holding me down. At least as much as I can.”

His dragon friend pipes up, “Well that much should be obvious kid. You can’t overcome your past trauma by moping around and getting angry. Just deal with the issues as they crop up and stop overthinking everything. You don't want to go bald from stress...”

“Gee thanks...” Changing out of his tunic and into sleeping clothes Joshua lays down on his bed covering himself up before drifting off into slumber.