Chapter 6: Tactical Lingerie and Divine Trolling

The forest clearing Rurielle led me to was significantly more pleasant than the goblin-infested one we'd just escaped. Sunlight filtered through a natural canopy opening, creating a warm, peaceful spot with soft grass and a small stream burbling nearby. It reminded me of those idealised fantasy settings where the hero and heroine have heartfelt conversations before embarking on their grand adventure.

That was my first clue we were about to have A Conversation™.

My Heightened Dust Perception picked up subtle traces of magical residue in the air, faint sparkles that seemed to dance in the sunbeams cutting through the trees. Nothing dangerous, just evidence that magical beings frequented this area. Honestly, the ability to see magical dust was turning out to be more useful than I would have expected for something I'd never have spent precious selection points on.

Rurielle moved with natural grace as she checked the perimeter, those horizontally pointed ears occasionally twitching in different directions, presumably detecting sounds my human ears couldn't register. Every time she turned to scan a new section of forest, her generous curves followed a half-second later in a way that demanded significant willpower to ignore. My Perfect Balance ability was getting a proper workout just keeping me upright while pretending not to notice how her impressive chest shifted with each movement. Divine Selection really should have included 'Perfect Composure' on the menu. Satisfied with our safety, she settled onto a flat rock near the stream, her posture simultaneously alert and relaxed.

As she sat, her tunic stretched across her chest in a way that defied several laws of physics. The silver-threaded black lace beneath was clearly engineered with structural integrity that would make architects weep with envy. I forced my eyes to remain fixed on her face, which was challenging enough with those hypnotic violet galaxies.

"We should be secure here for a time," she said, fixing those hypnotic violet eyes on me. "The grek'tal rarely venture this close to the singing waters."

"Singing waters?"

"What you would call a stream," she clarified, gesturing toward the burbling water. "The sound disrupts their primitive communication."

I nodded as if this made perfect sense, trying to ignore the way sunlight caught her silver twin ponytails, creating a halo effect that was frankly unfair. The platinum highlights shimmered whenever she moved her head, adding an ethereal quality to her already striking appearance. The sunlight did more than just illuminate her hair; it cast her entire silhouette in a heroic backlight that emphasised her impressive proportions. Her voluptuous I-cup figure strained against what remained of her tunic, making me wonder what magical fabric could possibly contain such... tactical advantages. I quickly averted my gaze, reminding myself that staring was both rude and likely to make my face combust. I was also doing my best not to notice how the tears in her tunic still revealed glimpses of that impossibly intricate lace underneath, especially now that I knew it was apparently some kind of "tactical lingerie." My Pheromone Control ability seemed to be working overtime, as I kept catching subtle, pleasant scents whenever she moved.

"So," I ventured, sitting down on a mossy log across from her, my Perfect Balance ensuring I didn't slip off despite its rounded surface. "What exactly does being a Luxuriveth entail in your world?"

"We are twilight dwellers," she explained, the pride evident in her voice. "Masters of shadow magics and starlight energies. Though I am still surprised you're so comfortable around someone like me. Takejin typically avoid dealing with those who practise any form of magic."

"I'm not—" I began automatically, then caught myself. "I travel... widely."

Her lips curved into a knowing smile, the blue-grey skin around her eyes crinkling slightly. "Of course you do. And despite these 'wide travels' and your apparent interest in my kind, you still remain ignorant of basic Aelvari distinctions."

"Aelvari?"

Her eyebrow rose delicately. "The collective term for all the sentient twilight races of Voluptaria. The Luxuriveth are one tribe among several. We share certain... ancestral qualities, though each developed different affinities to the energies of our realm."

I scrambled to recover. "Right, yes, the Aelvari. I just wasn't familiar with... that pronunciation."

"Hmm." She didn't look convinced. "And what of your own people? The disciplined Takejin warriors of the Mirvari race? Another pronunciation issue?"

I was clearly digging myself deeper with every word. Time to change tactics.

"Look," I sighed, "I appreciate your help, Rurielle. But maybe we should formally introduce ourselves before diving into racial anthropology?" My Deep Voice of Desire kicked in mid-sentence, making my reasonable suggestion sound strangely seductive.

For a moment, she looked taken aback by my directness. Then, unexpectedly, she laughed, a rich, musical sound that sent strange flutters through my chest. The bioluminescent patterns beneath her blue-grey skin rippled like waves across a midnight ocean.

"Very well, 'travelling warrior'," she said, her tone softening slightly. "I am Rurielle, Ebonveil Temptress in service to the Ebonveil Enclave." She made a fluid gesture with her hand that I assumed was some kind of greeting. "And while I still do not believe your tale of otherworldly origin, I do owe you thanks for your... unconventional assistance with the grek'tal."

The admission seemed to cost her some pride, a slight flush darkening her blue-grey cheeks as she continued, "I was careless. The pack caught me unawares while I was documenting a rare shadow-bloom that only opens during specific lunar alignments."

It was nice to know that even in fantasy worlds, people still got embarrassed about needing help.

"I'm Andie Ryuu," I replied, offering a small bow from my seated position. "And you're welcome, though I wouldn't call what I did 'assistance' so much as 'panicked improvisation with dancing branches and mud.'"

Her eyes glinted with humour. "Indeed. I have never seen anyone defeat grek'tal with that particular combination of tactics. The animated wood puppets were particularly... creative."

"I work with what I have," I said with a shrug, feeling a bit proud despite the absurdity of it all. "Though I imagine your shadow magic would have been more effective if you hadn't been exhausted. My Wooden Puppet Skill was basically the magical equivalent of throwing toys at them."

"Yet it worked," she pointed out, adjusting one of her silver ponytails as she spoke. "The grek'tal have simple minds. Your unexpected approach confused them more than a conventional attack would have."

"And the mud bath finale?" I asked with a self-deprecating smile.

"Surprisingly tactical," she admitted, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Though I wonder how you managed to hold your breath so long beneath that murky surface."

I almost mentioned my Extended Breath Holding ability but thought better of it. No need to share every divine selection with someone who still thought I was an exiled warrior.

"I'm still curious how you can understand my language so perfectly," I said instead, changing the subject.

Rurielle tapped her elongated, horizontally pointed ear. "All Aelvari possess good hearing and language faculties... But we Luxuriveth developed exceptional capabilities in this area, evolutionary adaptations from our centuries of exile and diaspora existence. I can analyse speech patterns and grammatical structures rapidly, particularly if they bear any similarities to known language families."

"That's... incredibly convenient," I remarked.

"Indeed," she agreed. "Though your dialect is unusual. Unlike any I have encountered in my travels through human territories." Her eyes narrowed. "Yet another mystery about you, supposed exiled Takejin."

I decided to pivot before she could press further. "So, what brought you to this particular forest? Scientific research on shadow-blooms?"

"Among other duties," she said, suddenly more reserved. "The Ebonveil Enclave sends scouts to monitor potential resources and gather intelligence on surrounding territories."

"Intelligence?" I raised an eyebrow. "That sounds militaristic."

Her expression tightened. "When your people have faced extermination, you learn to remain vigilant."

Immediately, I recognised I'd touched on something sensitive. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It is an old wound," she cut me off, waving a dismissive hand. "And not one I wish to discuss with a stranger. Particularly one who refuses to be truthful about his own circumstances."

An awkward silence fell between us, broken only by the gentle sounds of the stream and distant birdsong. I scrambled for a way to rebuild the conversational bridge I'd just burned.

My smartphone suddenly buzzed in my pocket, making me jump. My Roommate Awareness ability pinged at the same moment, making me wonder if the phone somehow counted as a "roommate" to the skill.

Rurielle tensed, her hand instinctively going to her side where a weapon might have been. "What was that?"

"Just my... magical device," I explained, pulling out my phone. "It sometimes makes noise to indicate... magical fluctuations." I had a flash of Familiar Place Daydreaming; for a moment, I could vividly see my apartment back home, my phone buzzing with ordinary text messages from friends. The pang of homesickness was sharp and unexpected.

Her eyebrows drew together. "Your light-box does more than produce illumination? Like the loud horn sound you used to scatter the grek'tal?"

"It does many things," I answered vaguely, glancing at the screen.

Then I froze, horror washing over me.

My phone was displaying a notification from an app I definitely didn't remember downloading: "Girls Nearby Who Want to XXX You." And beneath it, inexplicably, was Rurielle's face, complete with a 96% compatibility rating and the message "0.5 metres away - Interested in meeting YOU!"

"What sorcery is this?" Rurielle asked, leaning forward with curiosity. "Your magic item appears to be showing my likeness."

I frantically jabbed at the screen, trying to dismiss the notification before she could see more details. "It's nothing! Just a, uh... a sort of detection spell. For identifying nearby... magical signatures."

Somehow, I made it worse. The app opened fully, displaying an even larger image of Rurielle with suggestive animations and the phrase "Hotties in YOUR Area!"

"Is this some form of divination?" she asked, both suspicious and intrigued. "How does your device know my appearance?"

"It's a... GPS-based mana detection system," I blurted, desperately making up technobabble. "It's actually quite advanced, but also very buggy. Definitely not reliable." My Magic Dampening ability seemed to be having no effect whatsoever on this clearly magical phone harassment.

"GPS?" she repeated, the unfamiliar acronym sounding exotic in her melodious voice.

"Uh, it stands for... Geomantic... Proximity... er... Scrying," I improvised wildly, still frantically trying to close the app, which now showed several more images of Rurielle in increasingly suggestive poses that I was certain she had never actually posed for.

"And why does your device show these strange animated hearts around my image?" she pressed, leaning closer to study the screen. "I certainly never posed like that."

"Like I said, buggy," I practically yelped, finally managing to force-quit the app. "Very unreliable magic. Probably interference from... the singing waters."

I mentally cursed the twelve divine trolls who'd "enhanced" my smartphone. This modification had to be their doing, some cosmic joke at my expense. Were they watching right now, laughing as I floundered?

Rurielle looked unconvinced but seemed willing to let the matter drop. "Your magical techniques are most unusual, Takejin. I begin to understand why you might have been exiled."

"I wasn't—" I began, then sighed. "Never mind."

Seeking desperately to change the subject, I gestured toward her torn tunic. "Your clothes are pretty damaged. I might be able to help with that."

She glanced down at the rips in her garment, which struggled to contain her generous curves. The tears revealed tantalising glimpses of silver-threaded black lace that somehow managed to support her impressive I-cup chest through what must have been either advanced engineering or outright magic. I tried to keep my gaze clinical and respectful, but I'm only human, technically, at least. "The damage is superficial. My protective undergarments remain intact, which is what matters."

"Still, you can't travel around like that," I insisted, remembering one of the apps the deities had somehow installed on my phone. "I think I might have something that could help."

I opened the "Voluptaria Bazaar" app, which displayed a dizzying array of items available for purchase using something called "Divine Credits." To my surprise, my balance showed an astronomical 999,999 DC. A tooltip explained that 1 DC was roughly equivalent to 1 Platinum coin in the local Solenari trading system, where 1 Platinum equated 100 Gold, 1 Gold equated 100 Silver, and 1 Silver equated 100 Copper. There was even a "Top Up" button if nearly a million Platinum coins, enough to buy a small kingdom, somehow wasn't enough. Suspiciously, I didn't see any "Withdraw" option. Only divine trolls would give me the equivalent of unfathomable wealth with no way to cash out. Either the deities were being incredibly generous, or this was another setup for humiliation.

Knowing my luck, I was betting on the latter.

I scrolled quickly through the clothing section, looking for something practical, modest, and definitely not embarrassing. There were plenty of options labelled "Rugged Travelling Clothes," "Adventurer's Outfit," and "Sturdy Expedition Gear."

Naturally, I selected something called "Silken Dress Set" that was tagged as "Modest Replacement Attire for Travellers." It was priced at 0.0005 DC, which the app helpfully translated as "approximately half a copper coin." The app's checkout preview showed my balance would change from 999,999 DC to 999,998.9995 DC after purchase. Great. I could buy two million of these dresses and still have change left over.

"I can get you some new clothes," I explained, showing her the screen. "This magic allows me to summon items in exchange for stored currency."

She looked sceptical but curious. "Such convenience magic is rare, even among the Aelvari."

"It's, uh, one of my specialties," I said, pressing the "Purchase" button before I could second-guess myself.

The screen flashed with sparkly animation: "Thank you for your purchase! Your item is being manifested to your current location!" A little progress bar appeared, counting down from 3 seconds, followed by a cheerful "Enjoy your Silken Dress Set!" notification. My Basic Item Identification skill did absolutely nothing to warn me of impending disaster, proving once again how useless most of my divine selections were.

There was a soft chiming sound, and a shimmering parcel materialised in the air between us, wrapped in gossamer paper and tied with a silver ribbon. It floated gently down into my waiting hands.

"Impressive," Rurielle admitted, her eyes widening slightly. The bioluminescent patterns on her skin brightened with interest.

Feeling rather pleased with myself, I handed her the package. "Here you go. New clothes to replace the torn ones."

She took it with a graceful nod of thanks and began to unwrap it carefully. The gossamer paper fell away to reveal...

Oh no.

No, no, no.

Inside was not the modest travelling outfit I'd expected. Instead, there lay folded the most outrageously inappropriate collection of garments I'd ever seen outside an adult novelty shop. A sheer, lacy babydoll in midnight blue; matching garters; a barely-there G-string; sheer stockings with intricate patterns up the sides; and a pair of stiletto heels that looked simultaneously impractical and dangerously sexy.

My face went from normal to nuclear in approximately 0.3 seconds. My Temperature Play ability kicked in automatically, trying to cool my overheating face but only managing to make my ears feel like ice while my cheeks remained furnace-hot.

"I didn't, this isn't, that's not what I ordered!" I spluttered, waving my hands frantically.

Rurielle, however, didn't seem nearly as mortified as I was. She examined the items with calm curiosity, holding up the babydoll garment to inspect its craftsmanship.

"Interesting," she murmured, running her fingers over the delicate material. "The quality is actually quite impressive. Shadow-spun silk with what appears to be starlight threading."

"I am so, so sorry," I managed, my voice strangled. "I thought it was a regular outfit, I swear!"

To my complete shock, Rurielle looked up with an amused smile playing at the corners of her lips. "If you're going to summon courting garments, at least have the courage to watch me wear them," she teased, those violet eyes twinkling mischievously.

I choked on air. "Courting garments?!"

"Of course," she said, as if it were obvious. "These are clearly ceremonial attire for the initial stages of a formal bonding ritual."

My brain short-circuited. "That's not, I didn't mean—" My Perfect Kiss ability seemed to be tingling in anticipation, which was not helping matters.

"Among the Luxuriveth," she continued, seemingly enjoying my discomfort, "such garments are quite normal for certain occasions. Due to our... unique demographic challenges, our courting rituals have evolved to be rather direct."

"Demographic challenges?" I repeated weakly, still trying to process the fact that she wasn't offended by what was essentially enchanted fantasy lingerie from the Realm of Too Much Decoration and Too Little Material.

Her expression sobered slightly. "The cataclysm that fractured the Aelvari continent struck our settlements particularly hard. Our male population, already smaller than other tribes, was devastated by the resulting tsunamis and flooding. For generations, we've had significant gender imbalance, perhaps twenty females for every male in some communities."

"Oh," I said, understanding dawning. I felt my Pleasure Transfer ability stirring inappropriately, and I quickly focused on suppressing it. "So, these kinds of... garments..."

"Are practical necessities for a society facing reproductive challenges," she finished matter-of-factly. "In ritual contexts, we wear far less than this. These would be considered quite modest for ceremonial purposes."

I didn't know whether to be fascinated by this cultural revelation or mortified that I'd accidentally propositioned her. Possibly both.

"I genuinely didn't mean to... court you," I said carefully. "The magic must have... misinterpreted my intent."

Rurielle laughed, a sound like wind chimes in a summer breeze. Her silver ponytails swayed as she shook her head, platinum highlights catching the sunlight. The movement caused other, more substantial parts of her anatomy to join in the gentle oscillation. My Temperature Play ability triggered involuntarily, and I suddenly felt like I was simultaneously freezing and overheating. Divine trolls, indeed; they'd given me the ability to regulate temperature but apparently not the ability to regulate my own basic biological responses. "I gathered as much from your expression of horror. Though it does make me question how well you control your other magical devices."

She gently folded the garments back into their gossamer wrapping. "While these are lovely, they're not particularly practical for forest travel."

"Here," I said, shrugging off my Paradise Heights blazer and handing it to her. "At least take this to cover the tears in your tunic."

She accepted the jacket with a graceful nod, slipping it on over her torn clothing. The jacket hung loosely around her shoulders and waist, but strained impressively across her chest, transforming my standard-issue Paradise Heights blazer into something that would never pass uniform inspection. The buttons seemed to be holding on through sheer determination and possibly silent prayer. I made a mental note to check if Button Reinforcement had been among my divine selections. The school blazer was comically oversized on her frame, despite her voluptuous, athletic build, but it did the job of covering the more revealing tears.

"Thank you," she said, then gestured to the lingerie package. "What shall we do with these?"

"I'll just..." I trailed off, realising I had no pockets large enough to discreetly stash fancy otherworldly unmentionables. My Personal Hygiene Kit would be of no use here, unless I planned to clean the lingerie before storing it, which would only make this situation even more awkward.

Desperately, I focused on my fifty metres of divine rope, wondering if I could somehow bundle the package and tie it to my hip, out of sight. My "basic knowledge of knots and rope techniques" that came with the rope was definitely not designed for tactical lingerie containment.

"Allow me," Rurielle said, taking pity on my obvious distress. With a subtle gesture and murmured words in a language that seemed to slide off my consciousness, shadows gathered around the package. The edges of the parcel blurred as darkness enveloped it, creating what looked like a small tear in reality that swallowed the package whole before sealing itself shut.

"Shadow pocket," she explained. "A basic application of Liminality under the Umbra magical plane. It creates temporary storage in the threshold space between our reality and the Shadow Realm. The item exists suspended at the boundary until I call it forth again."

"That's... handy," I said, relieved and impressed. "Much more useful than most of my abilities."

"Speaking of which," she said, curiosity evident in her voice, "how did you make those sticks dance earlier? That's not a Takejin technique I've ever witnessed."

I hesitated, then decided a partial truth might be best. "It's called Wooden Puppet Skill. It lets me animate small wooden objects."

"Interesting. And the mud manoeuvre? You remained submerged far longer than should be possible."

"Good lungs," I replied vaguely, not mentioning my Extended Breath Holding ability.

"And your perfect balance on that log, followed by that precise kick to the grek'tal's face?"

I shrugged. "Lucky shot."

She studied me with open scepticism, the bioluminescent patterns on her blue-grey skin shifting subtly. "So many 'lucky' abilities for one exiled warrior. And your light-box that creates blinding flashes and deafening horns... that's quite a collection of unusual talents."

"I'm just... resourceful," I said lamely.

"Indeed." Her tone made it clear she didn't believe me for a second.

I decided to change the subject again. "So, what happens now?"

Rurielle considered me thoughtfully. "I still have my mission to complete, gathering intelligence on regional resources. And you, mysterious Takejin with your strange magic, clearly have your own quest."

"I need to find my... companions," I said, trying to be vague yet truthful. "We were separated during travel."

"The nearest settlement is two days' journey northwest," she offered. "A trading post called Crossroads where many travellers pass through. If your companions are in this region, chances are good they would seek shelter there."

Hope surged in my chest. "Would you... be willing to guide me there? I'm afraid my navigation skills in this area are somewhat lacking." My Never Gets Lost (Indoors) ability would be completely useless for forest travel, after all.

She studied me for a long moment, those violet galaxies in her eyes seemingly searching my soul. "I suppose I do owe you for your assistance with the grek'tal, unconventional though it was." Her lips curved into a small smile. "And I admit, I'm curious to learn more about your peculiar magic."

"Is that a yes?"

"It is," she confirmed. "But know this, Takejin-who-claims-not-to-be-Takejin: if I discover your true purpose threatens my people, our arrangement ends immediately."

"Fair enough," I agreed, relieved to have found a guide in this alien world. "For what it's worth, I have no ill intentions toward you or your people. I literally just want to find my companions and figure out why we're here."

"Then we have an accord," she said, standing with that fluid grace that made me feel like a clumsy oaf by comparison, despite my divine-granted Perfect Balance. As she rose, her movement created a captivating ripple effect through her entire form, her generous proportions settling into a new equilibrium that threatened what little remained of my concentration. If my Perfect Balance hadn't been divinely granted, I'd have certainly tripped over nothing but my own distraction. I quickly focused on a particularly fascinating tree trunk nearby, finding the patterns in its bark suddenly the most interesting thing in the entire forest. "We should make use of the remaining daylight."

As I followed her out of the clearing, I couldn't help but wonder about Naomi-san and the others. Was she at this Crossroads place? Was she safe? And what about my classmates? Had they all arrived together, or were they scattered across this strange world like narrative confetti?

And most importantly: what sadistic deity had installed "Girls Nearby Who Want to XXX You" on my phone? Because when I found them, we were going to have words. Very strongly worded words. Possibly accompanied by rude gestures.

As if reading my thoughts (which I sincerely hoped she couldn't), Rurielle glanced back at me with an enigmatic smile. "Your journey in Voluptaria promises to be... interesting, Andie Ryuu."

I sighed, adjusting my school uniform trousers, which were decidedly less comfortable for hiking than protagonist-appropriate adventurer's gear would have been. "You know, most isekai heroes get legendary swords, divine blessings, or at least a basic adventuring outfit. Meanwhile, I get dancing sticks, mud diving techniques, and a smartphone with supernatural dating apps. If the deities who sent me here expected me to be grateful for these 'gifts,' they seriously miscalculated. I don't care if they were free; sometimes you get exactly what you pay for."