The Peace Everyone Built by Bathing!

There’s this term to describe what we pulled off… Fait Accompli.

Have you heard of it? It sounds smug for a reason. It means you accomplished something before anyone could ask why, and then everyone had to live with it.

King Gremy and the Demon Lord were having difficulties lecturing their soldiers and generals who had already traded in their war banners for bathrobes.

We’d built peace like a bad expansion pack: incremental updates, microtransactions of goodwill, and, most importantly, an unstoppable player base.

The interspecies mingling at our Sacred Spa was undeniable, almost its own kind of diplomacy. The Orcs drank songs, the Slimes clinked glasses with the Human sailors, and the Angels awkwardly learned the values of inclusivity between each new water attraction.

It was peace by Fait Accompli. Peace was an accomplished fact.

Fait Accompli can be a dangerous thing.

For example, an unchangeable world, like a gacha game’s grim setting, can be a core part of the story that the player can’t really fix, only manage. Or the forever-delayed climax, where the main mystery keeps getting pushed back so that the story can drag on, a classic trick to keep the game running for revenue. The player may feel like they’re making progress, but the resolution is always barely out of reach. Yet, they remain loyal whales due to delayed gratification.

Luckily, the real world doesn’t run on those rules. Yet history is filled with its own versions.

Fait accompli through malice is the oldest move in war. It comes as a display of force so crushing that the enemy has no choice but to give in.

That’s why fait accompli through peace is the most beautiful version of all: not force, not submission, but commonality that ends conflict. Bridges built so steadily, yet with so much joy, that they became solid before anyone noticed, pulling different lands together to meet and shake hands.

The bridges here weren’t built by the Kings or Heroes. They were built by drunks and flirts, bathers and divers. Every single chaotic, amazing patron who walked into the Sacred Spa had a hand in making peace a fact.

The architects of it all were all snoozing. Except for Rin, she was made to work overtime. Sharlotte drooled on her towel mountain mattress, snoring like a thunder god. I dreamed of Gold and more expansions. Even Rin, the last holdout, paused her work just long enough to reset my Core correctly upright on the altar, her expression softening.

The sunrise would bring the Summit of Kings.

But the truth was already decided.

Peace had already happened.

“Trying to claim me?” I croaked.

“You’re awake.” Rin’s tone had the chill of someone who’d rearranged the world and then discovered a speck of dust on the mantle.

“How can I fall asleep when I’m this excited? Tomorrow, the Demon Lord will restore me. Our Spa will become the foundation for my empire, the greatest empire the world has ever seen! An empire where Gold flows like water, and the free commodity known as water flows in extreme gacha-fied profits!”

“Mm, so confident. I do so love your bravado, Master.”

“Gahaha! It’s not bravado, but destiny! What kind of man cowers on the eve of his triumph? Certainly not me!”

Sharlotte rolled onto her side atop a very clearly stolen bath towel, her halo crooked like an old lantern, her eyes half-lidded in laziness. “Uh-huh. Sure. Big scary destiny. Meanwhile, you’re still a giant paperweight. If you’re really that confident, why are you still sparkling like a nervous chandelier?”

“I am sparkling,” I snapped, “because that’s what souls of incalculable value do!”

“He does have a point, Sharlotte. It’s very dazzling.”

“Disgusting,” Sharlotte muttered, curling tighter into her towel nest. “Get a room. Oh, wait, you are the room.”

“Hah! You see, Rin understands me. She treasures me. Unlike certain feathered freeloaders who nap their way through strategy meetings–”

“I do understand you. So, are you sure it’s all of it? You aren’t worried about the Demon Lord’s spell, about the Summit, about staying as a highly decorative concept? I’ve reinforced the transfer circle, cross-stitched the ley-lines, and the talismans have been fed your motivational speech. They should hold. But even the most perfect ritual can’t force a soul into a body that refuses it. There is always a small chance that the Demon Lord can’t anchor you back. Worst case, you become a lost soul.”

“That can’t be! Who’ll pay for my naps?!”

“So, what if there’s no guarantee I’ll be cleanly ported back into my Human frame? I’ll stay as a Dungeon Core.”

“Is that really all that’s been keeping you up?”

“Uuuugghh… Waaah! King Gremy called me a Monster! I really want my Human body!!”

“There, there,” Rin soothed with exaggerated sympathy.

“The Kings,” I went on, softer now. “They need a maturity patch. They should try things. Try a bath. Be more open to trying new ideas. If they hate our Spa and interspecies peace, fine. But at least try. I guess that’s one of my pet peeves. People refusing to sample things that I adore without even bothering to take the first attempt.” I ended with a sheepish shrug. “Maybe that’s my growth edge. I want everyone to love what I love. Or at least recognize it.”

“It’s okay, Kazuki. You don’t have to mature. Just be greedy-you. We love greedy-you. So don’t die!”

“What are you overstressing for, you fluffy bird? Even though you’ve known me all this time, you’re still naïve! Don’t you know that I’ve got my [Flow Abilities]? I’ve sent my waters as far as the sea, for crying out loud! In the meantime, I’ve had Rin help me create a giant soul-binding magic barrier around our Spa. It’s literally impossible that my soul will be lost. I predict there are three possibilities: I get my Human body back, stay as a Dungeon Core, or float around as a lost soul within the barriers of our Spa.”

“Don’t scare me like that… If that happens, I’d barge into the weave, drag you by the collar out of whatever mess the Demon Lord makes!”

“I’m touched. How caring. I thought we’d have these sentimental talks tomorrow, right before I got my body back.”

“It’s the starlight,” Sharlotte decided. “We can’t have this tomorrow.”

“I’d just use my [Ability: Constellation], idiot.”

“All I’m saying is… if that happens, I’d probably go as far as suing fate!”

“Which court does one sue fate in? Oh yeah, probably one with you, since you’re the one who put me here!!”

“Noooo! Don’t ruin the mood! I’m so done with you, Kazuki! Just wake me when the bragging stops, or when Rin finally marries your gemstone.”

“Marry him, hmm? That would make polishing him part of my wifely duties…”

“Why am I the only sane one here?!”

“Because sanity,” I said proudly, “is for those who lack ambition! The world already runs on our gacha model peace strategy. Tomorrow is the day we rake in the profits!”

We traded banter until the edges of our Spa were warm. The enormous, inevitable tomorrow approached… The Summit, the spell, the chance I’d come back Human or not at all.

Yes. When I woke, I would be Human again, or spectacularly useful as décor.

Either way, Kazuki fell asleep thinking of keeping all his friends, Abilities, and Gold, and that felt, somehow, perfectly on brand.