I 4

The young man wasn’t the only one who I talked to in the library in the past world. Before I met him…

“It feels like every single chapter is a new story altogether, with a different spirit.” I say. “You are writing fiction?”, the female librarian sitting on the other side of the table asks me. “No, I only did that during university for some months, but it became so busy I just couldn’t continue.” I was leafing through some reference book to extract whatever interesting tidbit I could glean from it. The subject changed before I was aware of it, “Say, do you happen to be the type who would choose the better alternative, when given the choices? Or, would you just stick to how you normally do things?” That’s a weird question to the point of feeling like a trick question. I can just answer ‘Yes, I would choose the better alternative’.

…but what she wanted to ask is whether I happen to be that type. I don’t remember well what back and forth we exchanged. I may have told her we didn’t really have any choice, then I finally gave some cheeky answer, which I don’t even remember. I told her my wife was waiting (she wasn’t) so it was time for me to go home, she nodded then I left the library.

Regina’s parents passed away just a year ago. The young girl of my same age is really strong-willed for all the things that happened to her. Her discipline is impressive, I have yet to see a single child who has as much discipline as she does. 6AM, wakes up, 9PM, goes to bed (doesn’t seem like she needs to, however). “Life must have been tough for you, hasn't it? Regina?” my mom gently asks. “It’s okay. There are challenges here and there but, if you can press through one of them, you can pretty much press through everything. Pass me the flour please.” “You learned cooking from your mom?” “Hmm… yeah, sort of…” Regina’s face seems deep in thought while focusing on the frying pan (or some equivalent in this world). I take my sip of water. “Ryle, you wake up pretty early,” Regina says, turning her head to me. “Yeah”, a silence. “Not the most talkative guy, that little kid,” my mom giggles. “If you two need help, I can give a hand,” must be a rare sight, although the one with the widest eyes expression isn’t my mom, but Regina, then she tries to feign normal expression and focus back on her pan. “You say that, but do you know what to do?” My mom gives a teasing smile. “Guess I won’t be hindering you two here now,” I go outside and proceed to go on with the practice.

One. Two. Three. Step. It must have gotten repetitive by now. I ponder in my own mind what basics have I managed to grasp. Sigh. I’m still just way too young to have hands-on practice with combat. The Southern region, where my family lives, is said to be a very peaceful place when you contrast it to the Western region and Eastern region – former is war-ridden and latter is scary. The history textbooks I have read in advance insinuate that conflicts have conflicts have plagued the kingdom for ages – there have been short periods of peace, but never one year people don’t have to fight the monsters of the West. The kingdom’s border keeps expanding gradually and so are the efforts to hold up the border. We call the West ‘Demon realm’. As for the East, we don’t exactly know how to classify them due to their lack of aggressiveness, and intelligence – at the very least they don’t mindlessly attack us. This isn’t to say they don’t pose a risk, there have been incidents, but that’s a long story.

Each realm, or kingdom, was initially formulated by their own respective gods – so goes the myth.

No matter the grade you are in, school just remains the same, each day repeating the last. I must have seen enough of all possible shadow angles on the ground. The same old sky. Same old trees. Same old paths. Same old students practicing the same kind of magic. Same teachers teaching the same things.

Why was I reincarnated into this world? What is my mission? Although the question could very well be asked in my past world. Why was I born? All I had to do in that world was just to perform the obligations?

There’s not much specialness about magic in this world. When they don’t make things convenient they just help people kill. Nothing in this world is much different from my past world. Turning around, the sky and the land take the same shape. You can’t just tell somebody who has lived a life back then to relive a life now. I didn’t realize how much of the request the young man asked of me – if this world is what he meant to ask. I can’t even remember the content of the novel - even if I do, I doubt I know of a way to extract meanings out of it. Do I just behave differently from how the character behaved in that novel? Am I not already doing that? Spring, summer, autumn, winter – whatever the equivalent of those in this world are called, they take turn after another, going round and round. Coming to class, going home after class. Writing on notes. Doing exercises. The obligations in this world and the other world don’t seem so different so far. The different plants and animals ultimately mean not much – the past world had variety which nobody ever saw more than some few simple classifications. Up. Down. Left. Right. Ahead. Behind. No matter where you look it’s all the same. All the same.

“Say, kid. Do you think a world in which people’s dark desires are tolerated would be much better than one where those are repressed?” Asks a male voice that sounds familiar. I know him. He’s my teacher Claude. “People usually prefer a repressive world, but I personally believe people should just allow them all. After all, there shall be no escape from cruelty, and cruelty that brings about happiness is much better than cruelty of self-repression.” It’s an unusual face, I don’t usually see him wearing a face full of sneer like this. Even when the students were making a ruckus in the class, he would just say “It’s time for the lesson,” and go on to teach, ignoring all the loud noises others were making. Although that kind of attitude should lead to him getting into trouble with the headmaster, I have yet to see him getting reprimanded or anything like that. Or he did, but nobody ever knows of. “Why are you talking to me out of all people?” That’s the best response I could muster out of anything at all. “Because you don’t look exactly like somebody who is... well. I do have some theories of how you became that way. But then again the Kingdom of Maskiev, you know that’s how foreigners call us, has way too many intriguing things few have managed to have their hands on to dig up the answer. I don’t want to disappear into thin air, whoever you are, I shall leave you aside.” Am I some kind of Eastern entity? “Although, perhaps some day I would have to disappear, but I prefer to have that in my own control,” he continues. None of his subjects at school involve magic training or sword training. It’s a past-world’s equivalent of physics. No, to call it physics is to broaden that subject way too much. The ‘physics subject’ in this world is much narrower and serves learners who have an intention to become an academic more than a magician for hire, or a fighter in the military. What kind of insights those people possess, I have yet to know, but I hope whatever makes Claude this way isn’t related to the subject of “physics”. “Anyway, what is your answer? Killing people with love is better than restraining yourself, or to use a narrower word, to reduce yourself to mere materials?” Even when answering him isn’t an issue, I still don’t really know what kind of answer I should give, if I have any.

Then I gave him the answer, which I gave the female librarian back then.

“That’s cheeky,” he smirks. “It’s not,” I retort. It’s simply a very ordinary answer. Something the average people of any language, past world or current world, regardless of countries or realms or kingdoms, all use in their daily conversation. It shouldn’t be an expression that could be read with more meanings than that.

“It’s not,” I repeat myself.

“If you say so,” he almost turns away, “but one last question, which I don’t expect an answer from you. Say, did you already have the answer for my first question deep down, even before I asked it?”

“Huh?”

“See you later,” and thus he goes away.

My mind is quite distracted on the way home from school. “You come home quite late,” Regina's lips are slightly parted. “Yeah,” I respond. Her face then turns into a smile, a teasing one at me. I want to ask but she’s likely gonna respond with some teasing remark or say “It’s nothing”. “You have been staring at my face all the time, anything you want to… confess?” Well, she teases even when I say nothing. Although she’s the one who stares at me first. I truly have nothing to respond to.

The three members of the family (me not included) exchange banters merrily as usual at the dining table. Regina places some of the food on my dish, I can’t just say it’s not like they are my favorite and I have enough of my share, so I let out a small “Thank you” and nod. Dad talks about some daily news that occurs around the region, few seem of interest to me, and I can’t say if Regina just wants to please him with feigned interest – well, you are what you pretend to be, so maybe there’s no issue here. “You two study in the same class, right?” I affirm to my mom with a nod, as Dad goes on about the history of the last two Western wars to Regina who seems to take an interest in it, she seems to know what he’s talking about. Well, that’s expected from a girl who always holds a book in her arms whenever I see her.

Knock knock. “I’m changing, don’t peek.” There are questions I have, ultimately perhaps we are just family members, and we might well share the same room rather than having either of us sleep with mom or dad. “I’m done.” I open the door and go in, she has a faint face of mischief, “You didn’t peek out there?” I shake my head. “Say, do you want to take a trip somewhere around the region tomorrow?” I nod. “Not so enthusiastic, eh?” I don’t know how to answer that question, “Well, I suppose it would be fun.” I can’t guess what she is thinking on her face, then she turns to her bed and plops down on it. “Let’s sleep.” And flashes a bright, sweet smile.

There’s a lot of wind, there’s a lot of sunlight. There’s also a lot of butterflies here, one pecked on my nose. I swat it away as Regina gives me some chuckles of amusement. “Beautiful place isn’t it?” “Yeah.” A huge meadow that spans… I don’t know, let’s just say it’s huge. Although, this world doesn’t have sports like soccer does it? I almost forget that back in the past world, it was almost impossible to find a single field that didn't have all the wild grasses flattened. At least in my country back then, others may differ – the dormmate I used to have once told me of how advanced the stadiums he saw on magazines and TV.

“Say Regina, can you fathom a device on which it can project images of distant places, or even animated drawings?”

“Sounds interesting, but what are people gonna use it for?”

“…” Yeah, that answer pretty much sums up why I almost forgot the existence of the TV. If my mom in the past world didn’t scold me for watching it constantly (whatever it meant), the very concept may have disappeared from my own head.

“You are weird,” Regina giggles as she sits by my side, “if you even know what I mean.”

No matter the world, I guess there shall always be a sun hanging in the sky. Or in those I have been in at least.

“How far has your magic advanced?” Regina asks.

“I still have to grapple with the basics, so far not so much.” I hover my hand above some grass, and concentrate the Elemental Water power on my own palm, then emit it - a swath of the field gets drenched with water. “You see? I don’t think I have much of a knack for magic.” Perhaps some people are just born with it, some aren't. I look at her face and see her expression… of surprise? “Ah uhm… well, I guess you are not wrong. Still, you have been practicing a lot, right?” “Yeah.” “I think maybe you could still take pride in it, say perhaps it could have been worse…” She makes a joyful smile that is hard to comprehend, even though what she just said is straightforward. “Yeah.” I repeat my previous answer.

Regina runs with her arms spread wide across the field, “Catch me if you can!”. Butterflies fly chaotically toward any possible direction as her pair of small legs cross through them. I follow her. She’s always so bright and lively, in the past world I have never seen anybody like that. Some were just bullied too hard, some changed schools, some repeat the same hateful thing everyday. It crosses my mind what my parents said some days about how it’s like a blessing for them that Regina has to live with us. Well, it’s not something to cheer for at all. Then I wonder what it would be like if in the past world, I didn’t have my family. My head is just empty, I can’t come up with even a positive or negative scenario, perhaps I would have been put into some orphan or public childcare services. Do such things exist over here, hmm?

“Say, if you need any help at all, just tell me about it.” Her legs stop short, her back facing me. “I will do my best to try to help you.” She then slowly turns around to me, “Hmm? Suddenly became protective today, didn’t you?” “Yeah.” I don’t know how to answer, but that’s not wrong. A blush seems to… come to her face? Her lips tremble. “What if, it’s an unreasonable demand?” “I will have to hear it to know, but in any case, I will try to help you.” Her mouth seems to be gasping for a bit, her foot steps a step ahead. “Hey Ryle, I…” As if there are tears in her eyes right now…

Then she closes her eyes, breathes out, shakes her own head, and giggles.

“Magnificent Flowers!” The expression and the flowers suddenly blooming around me with the petals flying up the air catch me off-guard. Is that even the name of a spell? Well, nothing is. She sounded very cheerful when she cast that spell however. She and I run around again, as petals keep falling around us.