New Game Minus

The first thing I noticed was the taste of dirt. The second was the smell of dirt. The third was the feel of dirt.

I had a bad feeling where this was going.

I pushed myself up to my feet, much to the chagrin of my sore muscles. Crisp, fresh air filled my lungs now that I wasn’t on the ground. I rubbed the remaining dirt particles out of my eyes. 

Golden rays of sunshine peeked through verdant leaves and illuminated the tranquil clearing I was standing in. At my feet was the only patch of dirt; every other inch of ground was covered in blades of grass that swayed in the breeze. Trees, oak maybe, stood tall and imposing all around me. There were even a few butterflies, flowing splashes of pink and red among the sea of green. 

On any other occasion, I would have been awestruck.

But since I just sent back to the very start of the game when I was so close to the end, I was fucking miserable.

How was I alive, anyway? I was expecting to waiting in line again in Hell. There was no way I survived that sword through the heart, and I don’t recall any immunity spells or potions or whatever. From the deep recesses of my memory, a raspy, customer-service drawl chimed in: Earth is a permadeath resource management game. So other game worlds could operate differently.

I glanced down at myself. I was naked. Not fully, I still had on my pair of Sharks boxers. Don’t ask why my baseball team sells boxers as merchandise. But all my other clothes had vanished. Even my pack which carried all my stuff was gone, except my phone. That was laying on the grass near my feet. 

I kneeled down and picked it up. Angling it in the sun I could see the scratches and fingerprints all over it which hide in the day to day. This poor thing has been with me through so much, through too much. And now it was all I had.

I’ll be completely honest; I broke down crying. My knees gave out and I let my tears salt the earth below me. The birds and surrounding wildlife grew quiet to let me cry. It was a little embarrassing really, me lying there and wallowing in how it all went wrong. I should’ve listened to Gina. Fuck, I really should’ve. But I got so caught up in my quest to save Chouji that I was willing to do anything for him. Anything but trust her, apparently.

I was no stranger to losing. It comes with being a baseball team, especially one with the “skill level” of the Sharks (Let’s be honest coach, we’re never making it to nationals). But I had never experienced a loss as big as this. Five whole days of progress gone. I went from a week to do an impossible task to just two days.

After crying it out, which helped more than I thought it would, I sat up with bleary, tired eyes. What do I do? What could I do? In my grieving state the only thing that came to mind was walking. So I got back onto the beaten path along Knockback Woods on the way to Tyro Town. I had no idea I would see them again so soon. Only five days had passed, and it already felt so different.

While I was going back on my less-than-week-old nostalgia tour, I rung up Margaret. It had been a while since we last talked. She was one of the last people I wanted to talk to, but she was the best I had right now. It didn’t matter though. As I put one foot in front of the other on the trodden path, I heard nothing but the same battle-hold music. Infinite bars my ass.

I glanced to my right and saw pairs of glowing spots. I looked to my left. The sun was already gracing the horizon. I turned to my old friends, “the elves.”

“What are you looking at?” I bellowed. I raised my arms like scaring off a bear. “Come on! Bring it on, you pathetic creatures!” I had no idea where this confidence was coming from. Maybe coming back from the dead, maybe catharsis from my colossal failure, maybe all of the above.

The goblins, to my shock and chagrin, stepped out from under the brush with their hands raised. None of them were carrying weapons. I could see pity in their beady yellow eyes, and their scaly green faces were contorted into faces of worry? Surrender? Something like that. It was like they were approaching a wild animal. Which I was close to being, what with my lack of clothes.

“Easy there,” the lead one said. “We don’t mean any harm.”

I almost dropped my phone. All the anger in my body evaporated and was replaced in an instant with confusion

“You can talk?!”

“Yeah,” the leader said. He sounded offended.

They didn’t even have silly accents or ridiculous voices. They sounded normal. If I closed my eyes, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart from a regular human.

“Were you, like, always able to talk?” I asked

They all nodded as if it were obvious.

My arms fell to my side. “Huh,” I said. That’s all there was to say on the matter.

They kept the approach going, and their hands lowered too. Now we were just standing in front of each other. Awkwardly.

“Um,” I said. “I’m sorry. For hitting one of you in the face earlier this week. I didn’t mean any offense.”

The leader shrugged. “None taken, it’s water under the bridge. Goblins are meant to help new Players learn combat. We get beat up all the time.” He held out a gnarled hand. Despite him being shorter than me, the hand was bigger than mine. “Name’s Rose.”

I firmly grasped Rose’s hand. “Daisuke. Nice to finally meet you, Rose. So, uh.” I glanced around at his entourage. “What’re all of you doing out here?”

“We just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said. “It’s not common for Players to get a full respawn. Most of the time they have charms or spells that reset their spawn point and preserve their inventory. Coming all the way back here and losing everything? That can be pretty startling. We don’t blame you for crying.”

Despite how encouraging his words were, it did make me feel worse that he and all the other goblins here heard me. Not that there’s anything wrong with crying. Heck, the last time I cried…

Was with Gina.

Now I felt like crying all over again.

Before any tears could fall, Rose nudged me with a bundle. It was mostly leather, with some wooden bits poking out.

“Take it,” he said. “Some basic leather armor and weapons. And clothes. It’s nothing special, but it may help you in the days to come. I wish we could give more, but we goblins are a humble people.”

I unravelled the bundle and tried some of it on. The clothes were a little too big and a little out of proportion (I’m guessing they based it on a goblin body) but it wasn’t too bad. The leather vest, bracers, and boots fit me quite well. I didn’t realize how much of a difference walking barefoot and with shoes was. It was like night and day. I’d have a hard time explaining that to Chouji. He’s never had to walk barefoot on the road before. And now I won’t have to either.

“I can’t thank you enough, honestly,” I said. “This is all so much. Is there any way I could possibly repay you?”

Rose waved his hands. “Looking out for the newbies is the goblin motto, even if we don’t do it in the most conventional of ways. But maybe go easy on us next time, haha. And be sure to follow turn order!”

I saluted. With everything accounted for, I thanked Rose and his group once again, and went back on the trail.

It felt shorter than usual. Everything does, after you’ve done it once. The only time it really feels that long is the first time because of how unfamiliar it all feels. And here I was, doing my second run on this world. The silver lining to this mushroom cloud of a situation was being able to start over at all. If I had gone back to Hell and faded into nothingness, I’d be sad. But not really, cuz I’d be nothing. But the idea makes me sad.

My philosophical musings were interrupted by my arrival to the gates of Tyro Town. Now that I had made it all the way to Prayerhaven, I was astounded by how rinky-dink this place was. Were the walls always this small? And badly textured? 

I waved down my favorite pair of gurads.

“Sheila! Ford!” I cried out.

They did a synchronized double-take before waving back, jumping for joy.

“Daisuke! Goodness, how are you?” Sheila asked.

“When we said to come back soon, we didn’t mean this soon! Don’t tell me you went and died after only six days here.” Ford said.

I laughed at his teasing. It really was nice seeing them again. But Ford’s words stuck out to me.

“Five days,” I said.

Ford lifted a hand to his ear.

“I was gone for five days.”

Sheila shook her head.

“We may not be the brightest pair, but we do know how to count. You left Tyro Town six days ago.”

My eyes unfocused. That couldn’t be. It was five days between me leaving here and arriving in Prayerhaven. But then I did a day of training. And when I died, it was already night, but I respawned before noon. Did reviving take one day?

My head swam with all the unknowns, all the things that could’ve affected this. I pulled out my phone to check the date. Sure enough, six days had passed. Meaning there was only one day left to save Chouji. 

There was so much I didn’t know, but at least one thing was clear.

“I’m gonna need a drink."