Chapter 18

It was a common misconception that [Demons] hated cattle. Arthur Hall, unlike so many of his other classmates, had actually been to several other worlds, so he knew just how common that misconception was. It seemed on every world, the cattle, especially the humans, had come to a consensus that all [Demons] hated them, and so slaughtering them without mercy was perfectly fine.

But the cattle were wrong. Arthur didn’t hate them. In fact, he would argue that he adored cattle. He loved all of the hot blood they carried under their skin, he loved their soft eyes, their fragile teeth, their hard bones and fibrous hair. Cadmarius would object that this was not what love meant, but screw Cadmarius. The enigmatic tortoise in human skin (his latest unconfirmed theory as to the man’s class) might know everything there was to know about food, but he didn’t know a thing about love.

No, in general Arthur loved cattle, he just loved them. But he did hate Cassandra Lopez.

The [Lord of Lightning] roared in challenge, invoking some skill that sent five bolts of lightning crashing towards Arthur’s erstwhile defender. Wasteful, undisiciplined, the sort of skill one should use against a mob, not a single enemy. At his full strength, he was sure he wouldn’t have needed any help at all in dispatching the dumb beast, however large it was.

As it was, and with Nick freaking dying in his arms, he had to stand and watch as the paladin stepped directly in the path of one of the bolts, raising her sword to meet it.

There was a strange sound, sort of like a gong being struck but less musical, as the lightning bolt hit her [Unique Sword] and was absorbed by it. The sword glowed with purple light, its many prongs spinning faster and faster.

“My turn, dickhead,” Cassandra Lopez said, swinging her sword around her head in a great arc before slamming it into the ground. “Earthquake.”

The ground erupted in front of her, forming into a great wave of force that slammed into the giant beast, momentarily knocking it off its feet.

Dickhead. If she was going to be one of the strongest [Paladins] on Earth, shouldn’t she come up with slightly better repartee?

“GRAAAAAAAAHHHH!” She screamed, as she raced in the wake of her attack, swinging her sword and connecting with a meaty thunk into the dinosaurs side.

She sounded dumber than a [Barbarian].

The fact that she’d seen Arthur Hall at his very weakest, that she had seen him in tears, not to mention the fact that she held him, in a very polite fashion, a prisoner of this school…well…It kind of just made him want to kill her.

Wing flaps over head. It was Serps, awkwardly approaching while only shallowly using his right wing, looked like he’d broken it. Painful, but the wound would disappear when he went back.

“You’re getting slow, Serps,” Arthur said once the imp was in earshot, keeping his eyes on the battle in front of him. The beast had regained its footing even with the wound in its side, and was driving Cassandra Lopez back with a series of quick snapping bites from its enormous jaws.

“When your Majesty deigns to feed me more than the thin blood of a malnourished and sleep deprived boy, I will concern myself with speed,” the imp said.

If Arthur had had a free hand, he would have used it to seize the blue chain attached to the little imp. Instead, he spoke with what he felt was a remarkably restrained voice.

“‘My Lord’, Serps,” he said evenly. “‘My Lord’ is the appropriate form of address. Mess it up again, and I’ll keep you from your wives for the rest of the day.”

In his arms, Nick moaned. Arthur shifted, trying to carry him in a way that would facilitate him staying conscious this time. “Nick, hey! Hey!”

The boy in his arms groaned again. “Heavy,” he mumbled, “Wet.” Then he went limp again.

Arthur frowned, he really didn’t know anything about first aid. But he was pretty sure humans weren’t supposed to do this repeated fainting thing. Something must be wrong.

Serps drew closer. “If my Lord wishes to eliminate the [Paladin], I would suggest that now, while she is distracted, would be an excellent time.”

Arthur looked back up. Cassandra Lopez was back to parrying lightning strikes, but this time there were so many of them she didn’t have time to pull off whatever absorption skill she’d used the first time. Her face was set, her gaze totally focused on the dinosaur roaring in front of her.

Serps was right.

The time to kill her was now.

She was very good, but the [Lord of Lightning] was a lot for a single [Paladin] to handle.

Arthur could tell just by looking at her, she wasn’t watching her back.

In his arms, Nick moaned again.

“My Lord? You must give the order.”

Not having to see Cassandra Lopez every morning would really improve his day to day existence.

But instead of giving Serps the go-ahead, he asked, “How is she, Serps?”

The imp didn’t say anything for a moment, clearly hoping Arthur would say something else. “You told me never to mention her in front of you again, My Lord.”

“I know,” Arthur said. “How is she?”

“You said you would rip my wings to shreds if I even alluded to her existence, my Lord.”

“Yes. I remember,” He’d been pretty upset when he’d given that command. “What’s she been up to? Killed anyone interesting recently? Is she eating alright?” Does she seem happy? Does she smile a lot? How often does she talk about me?

Does she talk about me?

“My Lord, more lizardmen have arrived. It seems we may not have to kill the [Paladin] ourselves, but we may wish to depart.” Serps said instead of answering.

The imp had become far too disobedient since Arthur’s change in status. Everyone always said you shouldn’t rule by fear, but Arthur felt the people who said that just weren’t scary enough to make it work.

He might be reduced in strength in this current body, but he had more than enough power to make the imp suffer for his disobedience.

Instead, he let out a long, slow breath, and let his attention return to the battle. Serps was correct, while Cassandra Lopez continued to wear away at the [Lord of Lightning], there was now a trio of lizardmen warriors creeping towards her. Planning to do what Arthur had been considering, catch her when she was off guard.

Serps was right, it was time for them to depart.

Ah, screw it.

“Third Flame Authorized,” Arthur spoke the words, pulling some more demonic power from the pool of half dried blood on Nick’s arm.

“My Lord?” Serps rose to Arthur’s head level, now surrounded by three blue orbs of fire.

“Go, kill the lizard cattle,” Arthur said. “If the [Paladin] can’t deal with one dumb dinosaur by herself, she doesn’t deserve to live.”

“My Lord, are you certain?”

“[Serpenedos Vraim: Trustee of the Black Flame of Inner Twilight], heed my words!” Arthur said sharply. “Kill the goddamn lizard cattle.”

The imp didn’t question him again. He sped off, blue chain trailing behind him, three orbs of fire growing larger and larger as he approached the lizardmen, who still hadn’t noticed him.

They didn’t stand a chance.

Arthur hefted the boy in his arms. Stupid sword, what had he been doing trying to rescue Arthur in the first place? And if he was going to try a rescue attempt, couldn’t he have brought some more firepower, either someone who was willing to use a skill, or at least another sacrifice he could use for more blood?

The [Paladin] had better finish soon, she would probably have some first aid skill she could use that would let Nick make it back to the academy.

Thankfully, she did.

The myriad wounds she’d inflicted on the creature had evidently slowed it down, and eventually it staggered, giving the [Paladin] just the time she needed for an old fashioned finishing blow.

“Thorn Liege: Eviscerate.”

The sword spun, faster, and faster until it was impossible to see any of its individual prongs. The [Paladin] rushed forwards, leaping the rest of the way up to the dinosaur’s neck with some mobility skill, closing the distance so she could strike.

The beast’s head separated from its neck in a fountain of green blood. Arthur looked at it with some regret, he could do a lot with that much blood. Serps had long since finished his task and was floating nearby. He looked around for signs of anyone else coming through the portal, but the blue disc was gone, and there was no sign of the lizardman who had brought the [Lord of Lightning] through either.

So they could open and shut the portal at will, that was a little unusual.

Arthur floated over to where the [Paladin] stood, panting. Her clothes were covered in dried green blood.

“Well,” he said, “Do you still have the strength to use fortify? He really has no idea how to injur himself moderately.”

Cassandra Lopez looked up, still panting, and frowned as she saw Nick, still limp in Arthur’s arms. “He’s not dead is he?”

“No,” Arthur said without having to check. He knew what a corpse felt like.

“That’s something at least,” Ms. Lopez said with a sigh, then activated the [Paladin’s] classic healing skill.

Golden light washed over Nick, stinging Arthur wherever it touched him, goddamn [Paladin] skill, but at once Nick’s breathing became deeper, and the palor of his skin improved a little.

“Good,” Arthur said. “Good.” Then, because he couldn’t help himself, he added, “You guys screwed up royally huh? A whole band of mercenaries running around, and only the depressed sword could figure out they were more than just unlucky brigands. Now they’ve got portals?”

Ms. Lopez straightened, her breath steadying. She swung her sword up and around, and through some stupid magic it slid perfectly into the narrow sheathe on her back, each set of prongs folding against the main blade with a solid click.

“Mr. Hall, I can ignore summoning an imp in a time of crisis, but the crisis is over. ”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but summarily dismissed Serps without even a goodbye. No need for her to look too closely at how he’d been using the imp. He had no desire for her to know he’d intervened on her behalf.

Then he had to stand still while she examined him.

God, she was annoying. Checking him for injuries like he was one of the other students, like he might need help.

Why hadn’t he just let her die again?

“Out of curiosity, what’s the school policy on being ravaged by hostile mercenaries?” He asked brightly. “Are the second years considered good enough to fight, even if they’re not in Night Patrol? Do you call in the regular army? How good are automatic rifles against lightning strikes?”

“Mr. Hall, are your arms tired?” Cassandra Lopez asked. “I can carry him.”

“Oh come on, I was nearly kidnapped and sent to some other world, surely you can give me something.”

Cassandra Lopez sighed, a little more wearily than her usual sigh. “The policy is to fight of course,” she said, slowly walking back in the direction of the light of the school. “That’s what we’re here for.”

Arthur blinked. He’d expected her to deny there was an invasion happening. He hadn’t even been sure he’d meant it himself. But she seemed to be serious.

“Fight who?” He asked. “Do we know who they are?”

“Night Patrol is starting to get an idea,” Ms. Lopez said. “They look to be your standard adventure company.”

Arthur blinked again. “Wait,” he said. “Someone’s designated Crossroads as a Dungeon? And sent someone to loot us from another world?”

“That seems to be the case,” Ms. Lopez said.

It was going to be a disaster.

He dropped to the ground, hefted Nick over his shoulder, and started to walk, faster than Ms. Lopez.

There were going to be soooo many bodies for him to use.

How intriguing.

“Come on,” he said over his shoulder, “My emo sword is getting cold.”

Congratulations on Slaughtering Many Cattle. You’ve acquired Sapphire Summons: Instantaneous. You’ve acquired Demonic Curse Five. You’ve acquired Demonic Curse Six. You’ve acquired…

Arthur hadn’t cared too much the first time he’d had to do this, but if the [God] of Earth was going to make them all start over again, the least she could’ve done was include an option to skip the status notifications.