The Way we Grieve

Conrad stepped into his house, ready to turn in, before he was swiftly given a reminder of one VERY important factor.

He barely knew anything about Jeremiah's day-to-day life.

The moment that he walked through the front door, he was greeted by the surprised and relieved faces of a man and woman standing near the entryway.

"Jeremiah! We were getting worried about you, you're late! It's past the curfew!"

It was the woman who spoke. She was a bit heavyset, with a very rosy face. She pulled Conrad into a warm hug, welcoming him back. She smiled at him, her eyes watering a little, but then her expression became stern for a moment.

"Don't make a habit out of this, young man. I thought you were starting to settle down a little! You've been behaving quite well. Please, don't give us a reason to worry about you any more."

As he was was about to respond, the father chimed in.

"Please, son. Just do it for your mother. We know you're pretty adventurous, but we also don't want to stress her out." The father winked at Conrad.

He was a well-built man. Dark hair with a respectable beard. He shot him a smile over his wife's shoulder. Conrad nodded at him, playing along to the best of his ability. At this point, he was merely hoping that no personal questions about Jeremiah were asked. He wasn't sure what he would do if he was put on the spot and expected to know things he didn't.

"Understood, dad. Mom, don't worry. I'll try not to cause you any issues. Sound good?"

Jeremiah's mother backed up, nodding. "Good. We'd appreciate that, dear. It's been stressful enough as is, considering the career you're planning to enter. The least you can do for us is to prove that you're acting disciplined and smart before you jump in."

"It has been causing your mother some concern, yes. And myself too, to a lesser degree. It's admirable that you're intending to do this, and that's why we'll still support this. But be careful, son."

The father shifted in his seat.

"Joining the ranks of the guard is no small deal. You'll have more experienced squad mates to help you learn the ropes, and to back you up if the king sends you out on a task. But a big city like this has plenty of criminals in it, and the beasts outside the wall are a problem too. We trust your judgement, son...but just make sure you're using your brain out there. You'll need to."

Jeremiah's mother threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "Brutus, please, don't remind me. We've already gone over these things once."

Brutus nodded quickly, apologizing. "Sorry, sorry, you're right Muriel. Just trying to give Jeremiah a reminder for his sake. Besides, he'll be very well prepared. It's my equipment that he'll be going out there in, remember?"

Muriel sniffed. "Well, I'll take the peace of mind where I can find it. I'm heading to bed." She leaned in and gave Conrad another tight hug, holding his cheek in her hand. She smiled up at him like he was the most incredible man in the world.

"I have so much faith in you, Jeremiah. You're going to be incredible in anything you do. And if it's this that you want to do...well, my stance doesn't change. But I'm not going to rest soundly unless I know you're doing well. You'd better come home in one piece every single day, or I'll go out there and batter those crooks and beasties myself!"

Conrad laughed, somewhat taken off guard by her statement, but hugged her back. "Completely understood, mom. I'll keep my wits about me so you don't have to take matters into your own hands."

Muriel chuckled. "Good! Good boy." She headed upstairs, waving goodnight to Conrad. "Brutus, I take it you're joining me shortly? Unless you're planning on taking advantage of my absence to tell Jeremiah about more dangerous things in the world?"

Brutus smirked, getting out of his chair to follow his wife upstairs. "No, no, dear...I think our boy has the point." He glanced at Conrad, lowering his voice a little. "Come see me tomorrow in the afternoon. I want to show you a little of my work, son. I know you'd rather be swinging swords than making them, but I've been wanting to show you this, and I imagine you'll appreciate it."

Conrad nodded. Brutus clapped Conrad on the shoulder, and headed up as well. With all further interruptions out of the way, Conrad headed into his bedroom, knowing instinctually that a certain someone would be waiting for him. He was correct.

Conrad sat down on the edge of his bed, glancing across the room at Nana, who placed her head in her hand and grinned at him mischievously.

"Ten years, Conrad."

He nodded. "Right. That's my first question out of the way. That much time makes sense. You know, for some weird reason, I never considered that we'd be moving around the timeline of this world."

"You got so caught up in the fact that you were getting sent somewhere new, that you didn't consider I could choose WHEN within this timeline I could drop you in."

"That's correct. Well, I'll definitely keep that in mind going forward." He glanced down at the floor, contemplating. His expression turned slightly more somber. "I was convinced that I wasn't going to see her again, you know."

Nana hummed. "I shan't play dumb with you right now, Conrad. I can tell that you've got some conflicting feelings. I figured you'd be grateful for me lending you the body of Jeremiah, though. Sure, she's a little more aggressive now, but aren't you glad to see Carmela? And this gives you the opportunity to support her some more."

Conrad glanced off to the side. "I mean...yes, it's very nice to see that she's still around for this step. Don't get me wrong. It's just that, as far as supporting her is concerned, I would have preferred to do that when she needed it the most. She definitely softened up when she learned about my connection to...well, my past life. But I can tell that she's still more closed off and angry by default."

"You've got decent emotional intelligence."

"I mean, it was hard not to notice with her staring daggers everywhere. Fighting her felt like fighting a beast just as much as it did fighting a man."

"I imagine she's become quite convinced that her own strength is the only thing she can fully rely on now. But, Conrad, that's the point. Now you have the opportunity to help her work through her feelings and remember to trust people again. A process that will help you as well."

"You feel it works better for us to wait ten years after that tragedy for me to do that? I don't mean to be rude or too critical, Nana, but I just wish you hadn't sent me out of my old body so soon."

"Conrad, do you think that you will be present at the site of every tragedy that befalls people once you return to your world?"

Conrad was dumbstruck. "I'm...sorry?"

"I'm trying to stress to you that you will often not be present when someone needs you most, Conrad. A friend or family member may go through to a traumatic event and bottle it up for years before approaching you for support or advice. Your species has a habit of emotionally isolating yourselves, out of a misguided belief that the toughest thing you can do is to not be vulnerable. This is more prevalent in males than females, but it's not exclusively a masculine trait. I don't think it makes sense to train yourself to only be able to help people when the pain is fresh. When dealing with trauma, Conrad, the pain is often NOT fresh."

Conrad paused, and bit his lip, thinking. He understood where Nana was coming from. Supporting one's fellow man was the root of success for the human species. It was important that he learn how to support others in any circumstances. He just wish that Carmela hadn't had to suffer more on account of his absence.

"Your personal biases continue to work against you, Conrad Walters." Nana's tone was lowered, warning.

Conrad raised his arms in surrender quickly, remembering the last time that Nana had gotten cross with him. "Please don't misunderstand me, Nana. I see your point. Our lives aren't perfect, and help arrives late for a lot of us. I just...care about Carmela. A lot."

Nana chuckled, entertained somewhat in spite of herself. "That much is very clear. I'll trust you to keep your feelings in check then, Conrad. Besides, you've got something on your plate that demands your attention right now, don't you?"

Conrad smiled slightly. "Yes. It seems I'm lined up for a career that aligns with my recent training. Thank you."