A Warning

The angel’s snap still echoes through Osric’s head. But he’s not in the office anymore. He’s at a playground.

Still in his adult body, he watches a young girl in a deep blue polo and gray skirt — his old elementary school uniform — dash across the pavement. She runs straight through him like a ghost.

Why am I here? He scans the asphalt, stopping at a basketball court.

He walks over. Four kids play a pickup game. I remember this.

Beyond the court, against the brick wall, his younger self sits in the grass with a manga. Osric bends down to read the title. That’s right. This had just come out.

The dribbling stops. Footsteps approach.

“You’re still reading those dumb comics?” The tallest boy, with spiky blond hair, kicks the book from his hands.

“Why do you always bother with him, Kevin? Let’s just play,” another kid mutters.

“No, he’s funny. He can’t even dribble a basketball. Come on, show them.” Kevin grabs him by the collar, dragging him to the court.

One of his lackeys shoves the basketball at him.

“Do it.” Kevin raises a fist.

The boy drops the ball. On the bounce back, he slaps it — it veers off. He lunges, but it flies past him.

Kevin’s crew laughs. “You can’t even dribble a basketball? You’re so lame!” one sneers.

“Hey, leave him alone!” A black-haired girl jogs toward them, her bob cut bouncing. Basketball in hand.

“Urgh, it’s you again. Whatever. Let’s go.” Kevin and his flunkies wander off.

“Don’t let them push you around.” She shakes her head. “Here, I’ll show you. Spread your fingers like this. When it bounces back, push lightly.” She demonstrates.

“I’m not doing it,” he mutters, shoving up his glasses and staring at the ground.

“I’ll help you.” She grabs his hand.

“No!” He tugs it away and bolts.

Smooth moves, idiot. Osric watches himself flee.

With a clap that reminds him of a director’s clapperboard, the scene changes. He’s in the hallway of his middle school.

The linoleum floor reflects sunlight streaming through the row of windows. Leaning against the windowsill, is the black-haired girl —  taller now.

A sour taste forms in Osric’s mouth. Why is he showing me this?

Around the corner comes his younger self, fiddling with his glasses.

“Um… why did you call me out here? And, uh, who are you again?” he stammers.

“You don’t remember? I helped you dribble back in elementary school.”

“Oh.” His gaze drops to the floor.

“Do you want to go out with me?” the girl blurts..

“Huh!?” His voice cracks. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” She smiles.

“O—okay.”

Clap!

Now they’re at the school entrance. Osric sees himself in the crowd, Samantha at his side.

“So… we’ve been dating a few weeks. Want to go somewhere?” he asks, grimacing.

“Sure, whatever.” Samantha doesn’t look up from her phone.

Clap!

A family restaurant. They order and sit.

Osric glares at the boy squirming in his seat.

“Buddy, don’t waste your time on her,” he says aloud, knowing his younger self won’t hear.

“So… why did you go out with me?” his younger self squeaks out.

Samantha keeps texting.

“Um, do you like video games?”

Nice one, pal. Osric shakes his head. Why is that bastard angel making me relive this? Don't show me this.

Clap!
Oh, that worked. We’re somewhere else.

Another "date". A karaoke booth.

“Want to sing now?” He offers the mic.

“No, you sing another. I'll record it.” Samantha holds up her phone.

Osric lunges to stop him, but his hand phases through the microphone. “Don’t do it. The whole school’s gonna know you sing like a dying frog!”

Clap!

They’re walking home, down the sidewalk, passing rows of townhomes.

“Did you see the new episode? The one where they saved the crash victim?” Samantha asks.

“You really like medical shows, huh?”

“But did you watch it?”

“No, I don’t really like that show,” He averts his eyes.

They come to the crosswalk. silence settles. A car hums past. The light turns green.

“See you tomorrow.” Samantha steps forward. He grabs her hand. She's yanked back.

“Um, we’ve been dating for a few months now. How about... a goodbye kiss?”

I can’t believe I said that. Osric facepalms from the street as a car drives through him.

“What?!” She jerks back.

“Couples do goodbye kisses, it's normal.” He closes his eyes and puckers his lips.

Samantha kicks him in the balls. He crumples to the sidewalk, grunting.

“There’s no way I’m gonna kiss you. I only dated you on a dare. Gross!” She storms off.

Osric walks over to his younger self, writhing on the ground. What's the message here? Don't date? Don't get kicked in the balls?

CLAP!