30: The Right Thing

We both looked disgusting, beyond just filthy or dirty. Washing up was a necessity, not a suggestion, particularly for Fabrienne. The drool, or maybe stomach acid, spewed on us during our individual encounters with the versipur stung and burned slightly the longer it remained on our skin.

Back in the stream I went. Fabrienne hobbled into the water behind me, favoring her left side and grunting every other step. Red water churned in her wake. Based on how dark the water became, it had to be more than just the blood she wore. She must have had a more severe injury than she let on.

I turned to face away from her, washing myself and the cloak once more. The ooze and its powerful stench rinsed clean before the water could wrinkle me like a prune. Behind me, Fabrienne made more sounds through clenched teeth.

She'd help me without being asked, forcefully, too. Actually, she already had, repeatedly.

Standing only a few feet away, I watched her. Clearly in pain from stretching her shoulder, she tried reaching around with her blood-soaked arm to undo the shredded armor that bound unseen wounds beneath it.

Why are you staring at her like a creep? Go help her, idiot. I blinked and shook my head. I… wasn't staring.

"Fabri?" I waded over and offered her cloak back, hoping it would help her feel less exposed with me being around. "Here's your… I, um… know you… p-probably don’t need the…. help, but if… if you want a hand with any bandages—"

"D-don't!" She snatched the cloak from me so fast I flinched, expecting a slap. "Just… keep your hands to yourself. G-go away! Play with a stick, or… I don't need ya. I can take care of myself." Her scolding ended with either a failed slap or an unnecessary swat to shoo me away, regardless of the pain in her shoulder. "A-and don’t ya be sneaking a peek, or I’ll… I'll give ya plenty to bandage!"

I returned to the shore, giving her the privacy she so kindly requested. She'd dropped her pack, bow, and several other belongings on the embankment before entering the water, including the statue's sword. If she didn't need a worthless tag-a-long like me hanging around, then it was the perfect opportunity to take the sword and go—leave her and never look back.

How many times does she need to spell it out for you? Go! Leave! Yeah. I should. Even… without the sword. I don't want to be… I hate… I hate this! ALL OF IT!

Hoping to convince myself of what the right decision was, I stared at the sword and argued with myself. Maybe I would have taken it if the versipur hadn't already proven the futility of self-seclusion. I still needed her, regardless of how much she didn't need or want me around. I'd never reach Docheo safely or get the help she promised without her, even in her wounded condition. In the end, I found a private spot to wring out my clothes instead of focusing on the sword's temptation.

Our break wasn't much of a respite, lasting only as long as she deemed necessary. The versipur left me relatively unscathed, physically at least. More than anything else, I was tired. Exhaustion and overexertion from all the running made the thought of heading out so soon unbearable. Refusing my weak excuse for a longer break that would have surely benefited her more than me, she insisted we move along. Clingy, wet clothes weren't a bother for her in the slightest thanks to armor and her cloak. Lucky for her. I, on the other hand, remained a few uncomfortable steps behind as my pajama pants still dried.

We stuck to the treeline rather than returning to the claustrophobic forest of nightmares. Her reasoning was to keep watch for anything that might attack from the mountains. Apparently, my decision to not rush headfirst towards them had been the right call. Her estimation of my survival out there on my own was far grimmer than if I'd stayed behind at the ruins, or so she said. The harder ground hurt to walk on, but I was glad to see an actual path now.

Meanwhile, she reduced the sword I longed for, the same one she claimed I was unfit to have, to nothing more than a walking stick—a crutch. She was almost as slow as me now, and in a grumpy mood, to boot. After playing back the day, all the possibilities for her temperament boiled down to one truth, and it was following her home.

Awkward silence wasted no time before returning. I debated asking her about Docheo or even our surroundings. She'd mentioned knowing the area like the back of her tiny hand. When I remembered how my last attempt at small talk went, I knew better than to try again. Silence was preferable to reliving that stupendous failure. Running water, singing birds, an odd splash, and even the bark of a flying fennec filled the void along with other unidentifiable sounds of nature. Though incredibly unlikely, I still wondered if any of the barks might belong to the trio from the ruins.

Eventually, the monotonous rhythm of our steps mixed with the tone of Fabrienne's oversized stone crutch. Everything became white noise. Slowly but surely, my mind retreated inward with nothing else to focus on until the versipur was all I could think about again, along with my guilt for running away. Maybe that was the real reason I hadn't left her while she was washing in the stream. Her explanation that I would have been in the way if I hadn't run didn't make the pit in my stomach go away. My neck and shoulders grew heavy, and I hung my head while lost in thought.

Slimes and mimics are classic staples in most RPGs, even furry little guys like the flying fennecs, but… that versipur, the mimi-KITH, whatever I call it, was more like a special event or doppelgänger-type boss enemy.

I recalled the damn voice calling this a game in its precious church, but I still didn't understand how any of it related to what I'd been through. Other than an unmentioned goal of survival, there were no real rules. I had stupid, random theories about this and that, but everything wound up frustrating me further.

Dammit! If this is a game, a 'real' game like Wonder Saga, I have to be gaining experience or something, right? Right, but… it doesn't feel like… This can’t all be for… nothing, can it? I'm such a—I'm gonna get myself or someone else killed unless I get real answers. You want to prove I'm incapable? Fine, then give me a clear set of instructions, a proper objective, maybe even a quest to set out on. You can watch me fail at that instead of this, unless… Has the point all along just been to watch me flail around, bumbling, and aimlessly making an ass of myself? I don't need more of—

"Hey, I said what's wrong?" Fabrienne stared at me with her brows furrowed.

"Huh?" Her interruption broke my train of thought—basically an empty freight train going nowhere fast, and now derailed—not that it was actually helping me. I blinked and stared blankly at her now puzzled expression. She really needed to learn to respect personal boundaries.

"Ya aren't ignoring me, are ya, little Skyler?" Her tone changed from concern to annoyance.

"Wh-what do you want?"

"You've been… You're… quiet. It's… um, weird, and… your hand. Ya keep rubbing it, and ya didn’t even splint… Nysh, ya can't keep—"

"I'm fine."

"Enough of that. I know ya aren't. Now, give it here. I'll take a look at ya."

"It's nothing." I snatched my hand away from her as she reached for it. In my haste, I accidentally smacked it against myself when pulling away from her. The blood-stained bandage darkened, but I wasn't aware of the pain. It might as well have belonged to someone else. "Don't—"

"Stop! That's not nothing. Just… Let me look at it!"

My reflexes were still slower than hers, even with her injuries. She grabbed my wrist, refusing to let me go and bringing our trek to an immediate halt. She peeled back my poor attempt to bandage my hand with caution. The final scraps of my shirt stuck to my skin from drying blood, resisting her touch as successfully as I had before failing and coming undone. She then cradled my hand in hers, turning it over and back again to examine the full extent of the damage.

"If only Asa were… S-Skyler, why didn't…? Ah, Nysh! Ya should've told me!"

The burns and dagger wound in my palm weren't new, but a dusky purple blotch on the back of my hand around the injury took her by surprise. I noticed the color when we washed up in the stream, but assumed it was just a normal bruise. I shrugged it off before, and I shrugged it off again.

"Why would I tell you anything? See?" I wiggled my fingers for her to see. "I'm fine." The moment her grip loosened, I pulled my hand away. I didn't need her to keep treating me like a pathetic child. "It… doesn't even hurt." Maybe that fact should have scared me.

"But… H-hey!"

"Forget about me, will you?"

I knew Fabrienne would blame me for slowing us down if I didn't start walking, so I pushed past her. Now, she couldn't complain.

"Forget…? Why? What's that supposed to mean?" Seconds later, she matched my stride alongside me. I finished wrapping the fabric back around my hand and crossed my arms to hide it from her. "I’m not as heartless as ya choose to believe."

Not as heartless as…

"Well, I’m not as incompetent—I’m not stupid!" I spat back at her. "You keep saying it again and again, and I… I've heard you loud and clear, okay? You don't want me anywhere around—"

"Whoa! Hold on there, little—!"

"Stop! Please just… Drop the act, Fabrienne. I'm not one of your little… You’re… not my friend. I’m nothing but a freak, an annoyance, a problem you happened to get stuck with. I'm like a pebble in your boot, right? I'm just… someone you randomly found alone in the ruins and made a stupid deal with, remember?" My eyes fell to her makeshift crutch, its dull tone ringing out with every other step. "At least you got what you wanted out of it." I caught her eyes dropping to it, too.

The sword was the only thing that felt right to me since the night of the wolfang attack—my salvation, a gift from the statue or maybe the universe—but every tone it cried out now reminded me of how she stole it, called me a thief, and judged me as the unworthy one.

What makes you so worthy to have it?

"I-I… It’s not just… I knew ya wouldn’t have survived… not alone. I had to convince—help ya somehow… It was the right—"

"The right thing to do?!" I finished her sentence first. "Like abandoning someone? Give me a break."

I don’t need your sympathy, or your… pity.

She slowed her pace.

"But I… I told ya, it wasn’t… and… and I came back for…"

You came back for me. Yup, and look at where that got you. I bet you're regretting that now, right?

My stomach twisted in knots. I wasn't even talking about her. She went out of her way over and over again to help me. She should have left me instead. It’s what I did to her, and what I deserved. I was the sickening reason for her injuries. I didn't need to listen to her self-righteous philosophy again, if it was even true, or need yet another explanation and apology for what she did. I still hadn't apologized to her for being so useless—a burden.

"You don't know me, and you definitely don't trust—! How could you? I don't even resonate. That's what it all comes down to, right? I still don't really understand the concept, but I'm… What was it again? I'm less than a rock to you… you people. That's the gist of it, right?! I can't do anything, so… Why? Why bother? Why do you even care?!"

She slowed another step or two behind me. I clearly heard another frustrated sigh targeted at me, and then she stopped entirely. I refused to look back and kept walking instead.

"Why? Because… sometimes, everyone needs a little help. E-even…" Something in her voice wavered. I almost stopped to apologize, but decided against it. I'd make things worse. That was always a possibility. Maybe not for some, but I'd probably find a way. "All of us a chord, heard and—"

"Stop! Can ya 'hear' me? Stop it! That’s enough! I'm… I'm not one of…"

I don't just need a… a little help. I've needed more. I've always needed more. I needed help from the moment I arrived. Not just then. Even before that, but… but here? Every single time something dangerous… I've done nothing right. Not even once. Before her, I… It was dumb luck I hadn't died… yet, and now? Now, my failures, this curse… It's spreading to… She should've helped herself, and… and never… Please, just leave me alone.

My eyes stung, and our frustrating back-and-forth left my face heated. Storming off would have been so easy, but I slowed my pace instead to make it easier for Fabrienne to catch up. Without her, I only had a vague direction to go.

Gonguh.

The sound of the sword hitting the ground was different, and her footsteps didn't follow. They remained absent. I finally stopped and looked back. The sword laid at Fabrienne's feet. She just stood there, not moving except for a slight wobble. Her head hung low with her fingers interlaced again. Her shoulders shook, and I swore she was mumbling. Then something caught the light as it fell from her face.

Did you win? Are you happy now? Did it feel good to get that off your chest?

"Fabrienne?"

Look. Look at her. Look what you did to—!

"Fabri!" I rushed towards her, hoping to catch her before she fell.

"Don’t." The edge I expected in her voice was gone, but it stopped me in my tracks.

"But…"