Post Combat

Snow blanketed the Steppe’s fields of white, and hills rolled on endlessly beyond the horizon. The snow-capped Fenina mountains, far off in the distance, were blighted for eternity, where merchants roamed the ice, as Alba residents viewed the place as a source of bad luck and curses. Icicles hung from trees, consistently knocked down by children who pelted stones to refine their accuracy for military service. Chimi was once one of them.She watched them do their little drills with a softer warm-up and more hand-holding than she’d been allowed in short eighteen years of life. Now she had a clue why men and women drank after the first combat and why some still smoked off the weight of life pushed onto her shoulders. She could still smell the blood.Snow descended from the fat brown clouds, and she watched each flake fall. Winter cold against her arms as she hung out of her window. The bakeries were active, with smoke and the scent of bread, and chefs were at the cook in the barracks and pub for the occasional traveller that also supplied the barracks. Housewives had started their routines an hour ago to prepare meals for their families, young and old.But Chimi felt as if she’d be frostbitten with numbness, she spat into her empty tea mug only to see that her saliva was clear. Everything still tasted and smelled of blood, even the snow on the tip of her nose. She covered her mouth when the hazy memories flooded her mind, snow flashed red, impacts of metal on bone, grunts, gargling. The man’s face twisted to sickly horror as she butchered his decapitation. She wiped her hands, though they were dry, and barely caught her mug before it fell.“Ancient of days, watch over your child, guide her toward the light, grant me wisdom and help me to understand the path of plight.” She whispered, “Cleanse my soul in the bosom of Christareth.”It had to be done, she told herself and tried to picture Emmerlaine in flames. ‘Swallow your grief’ is what they say, but nobody in this village has ever tried to swallow a piss-soaked, bloodstained rag soaked in vomit. She ran fingers through her white hair, maybe the curse of Ravalel was a chill over her mind and body, stole the colour from her hair, robbed her of the spirit of murder the rest of Emmerlaine held. Being born a man, would it have changed all of this? Would her life be simpler if she were born as one? She tried to scrub the blood away from her fingers. She cursed at falling for her mind’s tricks and hurled her mug across the room. She dropped to her knees and stared at the floor, her hands cold on the windowsill.Three gentle knocks at the door announced her mother. She let go of the windowsill, stood up and ran more fingers through her hair to look somewhat presentable, like she wasn’t a storm in a teacup.She quietly stepped into the room in her gown, “Chichi,” she said gently, “You’re coming downstairs to eat, no arguments.”“I need—““There is no time.” She whispered, “Your presence has set things into motion we cannot even see. There is no record of the gods’ direct involvement with a person.”“Just a moment, please.” She pleaded.“If you remain in this room for another six hours, I will have you thrown out into the snow by your father.” Mother said harshly and wagged a finger, “I wish I could let you rest and sympathise, but Eleanor and her mage court have finally started to speak sense, and that is frightening to all.”Chimi looked at her mother’s face, her gentle features, silver hair and green eyes. She looked concerned but had that same firm look dad had when orders had been given and were required to be followed. That knowledge reminded Chimi of the dull aches from the Eirsilus used on her for recovery.“Do you understand now?” Her mother evidently took note of her thoughts in that way she always did, “You’re not supposed to recover as quickly as you do after Eirsilus, Eleanor claims your body is attuned to magecraft. You were made for war of the highest order.”Chimi shook her head, “Not now.”“Comb your hair, tie it back, wash your face and come down when you’re ready.” She said, “You’re a soldier now.” She tapped her chin lightly, “When I made my first kill,” she sat down on the bed and gestured for Chimi to join her. Chimi walked to her dresser and looked in her mountain glass mirror. She had a scar on her cheek now. She rubbed along the coarse skin and swore to herself she’d never get another one. Then sat beside her mother, who waited patiently.“All of that is in your control.” She placed a finger against Chimi’s forehead, “Take each thought and feeling as they are and imagine them as separate objects. In your case, try to imagine Auresi as the centre and all the worlds around, the Chim, the worlds in the sky, the stars, the moons and the suns.”Chimi closed her eyes.“Now instead of getting in their way, imagine yourself at the middle as the commanding factor, the Risis that defines order through wisdom and reason.”She forced the image, let the emotions run over her as if she were adrift in an empty space with no end. Like water but not water, she fell slowly and then imagined the emotions as spheres in orbit around her body.“Good.” She said, “It will not solve the issue immediately, but this is what your father does. Keep it close.”She wrapped her arms around her mother and wept.*Breakfast was accompanied by lighter scents of crimson with the acrid emotions still in the back of her mind. She gulped down the sugarless black tea flavoured with Alba oranges after she finished her eggs, chicken and beef.“I’ll do the dishes.” Chimi sprang up and collected the plates and cups, brought them over to the washbowls and started to scrub them to busy herself. She could sense the feelings creeping up on her. Chimi decided to excessively clean the kitchenware to push them out of her mind. She finished up and returned to her seat to find that her mother had brought both their coats.“Are you ready?” she asked sternly.She still had the militant chef within her, even being off the field for twenty years. Chimi sat down as she felt her strength leave her and held her head. Heavy with the muck and blood of emotion, she worked through them. Stepped out of the way of the mental noise, and allowed it to drift in circles like boats, and she was the island that trapped them in her current.Mother placed her hands over Chimi’s, “Maiden of wisdom, Lady of Seals, sanctify our minds with your gracious foresight, grant us your wisdom and calm. Grant Chimi clarity in the many deeds to come. Lord of Order, my daughter has been given a heavy burden under the great wheel of stars and a role to fulfil that we do not know. Aid her, shadow her, balance her scales and grant her glimpses of your sight to light her path in the bleakest of winters. Sothlechae.”“Sothlechae.” Chimi felt the icy grip around her innards loosen, but the bloated bleak cloud remained over her mind.“Pray to the gods, Chichi.” Mother clasped her hands, “They don’t need us, but we require them.”Chimi’s lips thinned to a line, “I won’t be asking for too much?”“There is none they cannot command.” She said, “Except for the fool, the traitor and the heretic.”“Then why do we suffer?” Chimi shoved down the guilt.Mother didn’t rage or attempt to swat her. Instead, she gripped Chimi’s hands, “Who is anyone to strip us of potential to grow and learn, to strip the entirety of man from suffering necessary to stimulate growth and progress? We would know ‘love’ for the gods, but would it be true if there’s nothing but sunlight, milk and honey with no hardship?”“But we— no…” she deflated. Her life, not reviled too often, but she was frequently glared at, cursed behind closed doors, and sneered at. Her birth was not her fault, but she was blamed. The reasoning was… “because we are fundamentally flawed.” She said.Mother nodded ruefully, “Wise.” She said, “Be wary of people,” she said, “Use your eyes carefully, choose who you want by your side. You will need good men to become empress.” She got up and straightened her coat with her hands, then gave Chimi a reassuring nod. Marched out of the house without a word and shut the door quietly behind her.Chimi rested her heavy head on the table. Mud and old saltwater inside of her skull, she thumped the table with her fist. Heard blood splatter and looked up to see it was just some of the water in a cup she knocked over.The men who presented themselves to have their heads removed, her mercy made one of them suffer horrifically. She slammed both fists on the table.I won’t be stood down. I am a soldier, and I have to kill the enemy.Chimi shook herself and exhaled the blood and salt thoughts through her lips. She stood up and shoved her arms into the coat. Wrapped it about herself and stomped into her boots. When she reached the door, she saw her helmet beside her hat on a hook.She reached for her hat— something in the back of her mind whispered about blood on her hands. Those men and their eyes before death, those eyes that demanded respect for their lives through death, else they’d slaughter her people and spit on them as if they were pigs.If you put that fucking hat on—She slid the helmet and gave it a right tug for comfort. She opened the door and stepped out. Her mother gave her a nod of approval and went on to walk up the street. Wives and younger girls walked back and forth on the street, some jogged, others carried wares, goods for home and for trade. They passed by the pub where a few soldiers drank outside in the cold, some of them even greeted her with nods of respect. She returned the gesture and nearly earned an invitation for a drink, but they were aware of her mother."These men and women will lay down their lives for you,” mother said, “The men’s lives you took will only haunt you for a short time. You’ll be drenched in mountains of blood on the Empress’ path.”Chimi tugged her helmet, “I just need today to get my thoughts, Mother.”“You will manage.” She said, “Today shall be a day of revealings.”“What’s happening today?”“Your father has called a meeting at the barracks with Eleanor and her fairies.” Mother sped up her pace.*They arrived outside the barracks, which had been decorated with the Rosomona Alliance's roses, banners, paintings, and flags, as if a breath of revered history blasted from the doors and windows. The Blades, with a few other platoon members, sat outside on the benches sharing jokes and stories. When they saw Chimi and her mother approach, the members of the Blades she recognised raised their heads with quiet respect. No submission like they’d lay down their lives, but… acknowledgement. She had to stop herself from smiling, let the rush of emotion simmer between her ears. Other soldiers still regarded her contrarily, their stares as cold as today’s temperature.“Remember,” mother said quietly, “their lives will be set down for you in due time, the empress walks the bloodiest path.”Egeon opened the door, “Alright, you scab suckers, who wants to spit on the floor so the plankers may splinter?”“That is not a question, sir.” Gibson barked a laugh.Egeon nodded, “Unfortunately, they’re not unwelcome, as you all know the mages of Emmerlaine will now work side by side with the military.”The soldiers saluted and marched inside with glances and salutes from a few of the women in The Blades. She expected them to be— a ginger woman she’d seen before. Caitlin, barracks-born, member of The Blades, who gave her a sidelong look frosted with indifference. Another raven-haired woman pushed her along with a smirk, Charles’ elder sister. She turned after Caitlin went inside, sauntered over to Chimi and her mother, far too casually, earning a glare from Mum. She offered a hand regardless, boisterous and would’ve had Dad watching her with a hard stare.“Annabella, daughter of Dane.” She said, “My brother is at your service; I will take your measure first before our promises to dear old father are given.”Chimi shook her hand firmly but said nothing.“Your first kill should not have been so difficult, it is as if you are truly a foreigner born on Emmerlaine soil.” She smirked, “Perhaps you’ve got divine blood after all.”“Perhaps.” Mother said icily, “Off with you, Annabella.”She bowed and quietly took her leave, only to find Egeon with his arms crossed and an even look on his face. She didn’t lose the swagger in her step and continued inside.“You’ve become quite the father to these children.” Mother said.“Oh, leave without gain, woman.” He waved for them to follow inside.“Wind’s changing.” Charles stood at the side of the door and saluted Chimi, “My shield is yours.” He leaned off the wall and joined platoon five.“When times are heavy, dark and hopeless, worry not. It only gets worse.” Gibson chuckled.Chimi went to join her fellows in platoon five. Mother brought her to a stop and took her over to the back of the room, behind the stage, where father would address the town. Chimi felt something shift in the air. She shifted in her seat beside her mother, who looked at her oddly.“Are you alright?”“Magic.” She whispered, “I think it’s magic.”The door swung open, Dad marched in with Eleanor, Deepe and a number of her mages. The soldiers saluted, the mages turned up their noses, but found Eleanor glaring them down. Dad gave her an acknowledging nod before he stood at the head of the room, and the mages stood with Eleanor by the door. This was not intended to take too long.“Last night we were attacked by Odibrand and Crystolle,” he said, “The man with the sword that was mentioned has yet to be found or identified. But more pressing the matter is those two factions who have extended this far out toward us. Shimmerrain is considered sacred, yet they attacked us there after cleansing.” Dad raised an arm, “It is clear as day, greater designs have been placed upon us and we must respond in kind to fill their hands of their designer with nails.”Eleanor approached and stood beside him to reveal a strange stone. Dad raised a hand to her and waved over the Blades to rise: Gibson, Lloyd, Charles, Caitlin and Sebastian.“Speak.” He commanded.“Yesterday, in the battle of the raid on the Reisblight’s heart, Chimi displayed white fire,” Gibson said, “That white fire consumed dozens of Reisborn forces and saved our lives. There was no incantation and none of the pretty and honey signs.” He sat down.“The Blades of Emmerlaine, ragtag as we are, bore thorough witness.” Annabella said, “She is Rasu Reborn.”“What proof do you have that she is not simply starbranded?” Kennedy said from the front of platoon three.“Last night, Eleanor incanted to Rasu, such a thing has never been done since her supposed fall, and the incantation destroyed the enemy headquarters in the attack last night. We all saw the lightning!” Charles blared but was quickly hushed by his elder sister.“Plankers.” Egeon turned an eye on them.A few of them yammered among themselves before Deepe spoke up, likely under Eleanor’s order to reduce the amount of drivel and honey-wording. “A Star-chained human would enter the Urien room and illuminate all of our gems. She did not.”“And could she have simply awakened?”“It’s enough for Annabella and Charles here to want to dedicate their lives to a fucking boxie.” Gibson snapped.Chimi clenched her fists.Mother rested a hand on her arm, “Perhaps we best leave this in the foreigner’s hands to prove.” She said quietly to her father.Dad gestured to Eleanor.“Commander,” she said quietly, “We may wish to take this to the Urien Room with your top captains and general to be convinced.”“No.” He said, “Emmerlaine must see what she is.” He retorted, “Else the way forward remains mired in conflict.”The soldiers stomped their feet in agreement.Poole cleared his throat, “We will die for our home. If we are to believe that this prophecy was utter nonsense, we would be declaring the youngest of the gods a false god.”“No alters to him exist in Emmerlaine.” Chimi spoke up, “I can ignite myself again,” she felt that thing clumped in her chest. A gathering of something like a misty cloud of magic within her that swirled and congealed.“Gather the townspeople.” Dad ordered, “We will go to the square.”