Nia - Broken (4)

Suddenly Nia felt much better. Was it because she was outside the Holy Shield, or because someone finally stood before her who didn’t abuse and oppress her?

Probably all of that. Will Lera reward me if I work diligently? Was I a good…

Nia’s thoughts blurred. She didn’t know what was real and what only existed in her head—what was truly hers and what were implanted beliefs. She decided it didn’t matter.

“Very good,” she purred, trying to imitate Lera’s vile smile.

Itch swallowed and quickly went back to scraping moss off the wall. Nia stepped forward, set the knife against the stone, and dragged it downward with a grating sound. She could have asked these men to remove her chain, yet she decided to wait. Surely they would follow her if she convinced them little by little. She didn’t want to rush anything. Besides…

I am Possessed. I am a worthless piece of shit!

Maybe this was her rightful punishment, to be controlled and tortured by Lera. After she had failed to save Locu…

Nia noticed her hands trembling, her eyes filling with tears. She quickly pushed away the memories of him. She wouldn’t show weakness in front of these men, who might be her way out of captivity. Or was that Lera’s plan too? Was that terrible woman waiting somewhere in the houses inside the barrier, watching her? Making sure she was a good…

FUCK!

Nia dragged the blade down the wall again, but only a little moss came loose. Was this a pointless task? Much like what Lera had done to Uda, who still carried the backpack full of stones on her back, unable to free herself?

“Oh, Uda… You shouldn’t have resisted her. Yet you did—for me, didn’t you? You were always the leader. Always caring. Caring for me. You shouldn’t be here. You should be with Orfet, Ya, Vid, Weet, and the others. Instead you came here. Do you regret it? Do you regret trying to save a useless shit like me?”

Nia’s hands trembled harder and began to ache. She slipped, letting out a furious scream that made the hunters laugh and drew fearful looks from the men beside her.

“Forgive me, but you need to… hold it at a slight angle,” Itch said, raising his own knife at a tilt to demonstrate.

Nia stared at him, torn out of her thoughts.

“I’m only angry they caught me. This… this isn’t forever…” she whispered.

What nonsense are you saying? she asked herself. Yet when she saw the surprised flicker in the men’s eyes, she couldn’t stop herself from continuing.

“That’s how you humans are. You spend your time on the most meaningless things. Scraping moss—who cares? Of course I’ve never done this before! Such a meaningless task…” Nia laughed, feeling a trace of confidence.

Itch looked at her again, confused.

“It… it’s exactly that. It’s meant to show us how futile what we do really is…” he said softly.

Nia frowned.

“Why are you here?” she asked, trying to sound as if she didn’t actually care.

“I can’t speak for the others,” Rufus said, watching her closely.

For a moment he looked surprised at himself and his words, though soon a chuckle escaped his throat.

“If I am really honest… and I haven’t been, not for a long time… I love waking people. Look at the shapes and patterns once they vanish. That’s what drives me, Nightmare. I like their expression once they realize the Dream is over for them. There is a final beauty in that…” he admitted.

Nia had to fight herself not to step back from him. She pictured what Rufus must have done to end up here. Scraping moss from ruined walls seemed gentle in comparison. Yet she forced herself to laugh instead. She had to stay in character, to make sure these men feared her and… revered her.

“I like that! Oh, Rufus, I like that. Tell me more!” Nia urged him quickly, though what she really wanted was for him to shut up.

What have I gotten myself into? she wondered nervously, though she knew such questions were useless.

“I… yes, but… I’d like to know first. What have you done, Nightmare? Forgive me, worthless human that I am, but I’m curious about your… thoughts. Your deeds. I don’t want to reveal too much without getting something in return,” Rufus said, looking slightly uneasy as he swallowed.

Nia stared straight into his eyes and twisted her face into a mocking grin. At first it took great effort, but somehow she was fascinated by the influence her supposed possession had.

“I unleashed a Nightmare Tide on a group of newcomers. Oh, you should have seen that! Their eyes, their blood…” she whispered, forcing herself to smile again.

Around her, everyone froze, falling silent in near panic. In some eyes there was also admiration. Nia felt… good?

Why? Why do I like it that these terrible people look up to me? she wondered, yet shoved the thought aside.

It didn’t matter. At last she didn’t have to lick Lera’s boots anymore or obey her insane commands. At last she could exert a little control herself.

Should she, though?

Would Uda do that? she asked herself—and flinched.

What did that matter? Uda was strong, pragmatic, a born leader. Yet all her choices had ultimately put her in a cage, tongueless, broken, subjected to unspeakable humiliation.

It was true Uda had likely done all of it for her. Since the ruins, Nia had always felt her presence inside her, a kind warmth.

Still, she was here now, with three men treating her with respect, while Uda rotted in some wretched kennel, unable even to beg for mercy.

Am I not the one who made more of the situation? By obediently following Lera?

Nia despised herself for the thought. She knew Uda would have long since moved on with Orfet and the others had she not existed, probably spending more time with Vid, who had so obviously crushed on her. She also knew Lera was a vile lunatic who thought Uda was something she wasn’t. That couldn’t be changed. As for herself… she deserved this situation.

Locu… Oh, Locu, if only I had had more time with you… Maybe then I wouldn’t have turned into this filthy thing…

“You controlled a Tide?” Itch ripped her out of her thoughts, astonished, awe flickering in his eyes.

“Yes.”

“You are truly powerful,” Enu marveled.

They still pretended to work with care, yet Nia knew their attention was fixed on her.

“So, what’s the plan? Do you have a way to get us out of here? Could you even arrange for me to be possessed? I’d give myself to a Nightmare if it gave me the power to live out my fantasies,” Rufus whispered, abrupt and eager.

Nia fought to hide her unease. After all the Nightmares she had seen, these men were worse.

To wake a human for pleasure… even the Nightmares seemed less vile than these creatures.

Yet suddenly she realized she felt no fear at all. No terror anymore, neither for these men nor for the darkness. Quite the opposite—she felt hatred and rage rising in her. Escape? Yes, nothing would please her more than slashing open Lera’s face and subjecting her to the worst torments she could imagine.

That was impossible, though. Nia had to go on licking her boots and submitting to her, because she was a bad, broken person who hadn’t even been able to save the one she… loved…

Nia pulled herself together and fought back tears as Locu suddenly appeared in her mind’s eye, smiling at her.

“If I get out of here, I’ll grant you Possession. If you swear loyalty to me, that is,” she purred at Rufus with a smile, trying to sound the way she had heard Lera speak a thousand times before.

The other two men twisted their faces, and Nia guessed they were annoyed they hadn’t made such an offer first.

Rufus nodded eagerly.

“That goes for the others as well. But I am not free yet. So we’ll see,” she said, striving to sound as arrogant and condescending as Lera, turning towards her wall.

I hold these men in my hand. If this isn’t another trap Lera has set for me, then at last I have hope. Hope of freedom. And these criminals are the key, Nia thought, giving Rufus a warm smile.

This time it was real.

For the first time since Locu’s Waking, she felt a rising sense of anticipation…