he Pana Puzzlement (The world’s greatest mystery in the hands of the greatest fool)

(YOU WHAT,) Paul’s voice bellowed through the mental link.

(HOW,) Trudy added.

(I’m glad you two are doing so well that you can judge me for things I haven’t done) Bao grumbled back over the line. (But I really need help figuring out this politics nonsense.)

As Bao slowly relayed the details of the past day, he watched Humei bend over and stare curiously at a bloody spot in the pier, while officers all around tried to keep the nervous crowd back. By now, the morning sun had set in, setting Seaknot under a cheery blue and cloudy canvas that seemed far too at odds for the conflict at hand.

Was this going to end in a riot? Bao hoped not. He’d practically just arrived.

(Sounds like you’re in a power struggle between Seaknot and Idoy Heart. Typical,) Paul scoffed.

(Who would even kill Pana?) Bao asked.

(Could be anyone,) Paul admitted. (Personally, it sounds like someone from Idoy Heart is being clever and is trying to take your friends down a peg. Show everyone that they got a bloodthirsty killer on their hands, and it’ll be an excuse to keep the priesthood on a leash. Heck, I’d say the detectives were in on it, though they honestly sound a bit too dim to know how to kill a warrior.)

(Or it could just be the second-runner-up was extremely jealous. Don’t forget the human element, Paul. Or god forbid, all those stories where the twist was that there was no conspiracy the hero was imagining,) Trudy helpfully suggested.

Bao wondered if it was that simple.

“Well, we can rule out accidentally self-inflicted death,” Humei mused as she walked up to Bao. “Even if, by pure luck, Pana decided to jam himself onto his own spear because of hurt feelings, he would have been face down on the pier with his weapon pointed at the sky, but someone decided to pin him to the ground.”

“Do we have any idea who could do this?”

Humei hummed before turning the question back on him. “What do your instincts say? Or perhaps those of your “friend”?”

Bao grimaced. While he had tried to be vague, Humei clearly didn’t need much to infer that he had been in contact with Paul and Trudy. Perhaps he should have been more coy, had he had the wits for it.

He tried to sidestep the truth in turn. “Well, do you think it was done by another competitor because they were jealous or by someone from the bureaucracy trying to take us down?”

That got Hfumei rubbing her chin in thought.

“The runner-up was a woman who goes by Liria the Dancer. Killing Idoy’s best would make for good personal satisfaction, but it’s not the same as being the best of a tournament recognized by everyone.”

Bao would have accepted that, had he not been listening to a whispering stream of calls for wanton murder from a cursed sword.

“I think there are some people who are very okay with personal satisfaction.”

Humei shrugged. “Fair enough. The bureaucracy is a large animal, though. Who knows who would think killing Pana is a good trade or not?”

“Normally, detectives would interview people, right?” Bao pointedly suggested. He didn’t know the first thing about solving a crime, but Humei time and again showed she had the sharp tongue and knack for politics that the bodyguard thought would get her chasing whatever government clerk was responsible.

“Well, yes, but we’re not detectives, are we?” Despite the pointed counter, Humei still trailed off with a long and very drawn-out hum, as she considered something.

“...That’s a very worrying noise, Humei. Maybe I should try and hide in a departing ship.”

“Ha! You’d sink the ship with all the vomit that’d come out of you. Instead, why don’t you talk to Liria? Put those detective brains to work. If nothing else, making implications might spook her into doing something you can see if you follow unseen.”

“Just me?” Bao said, frowning. “And where will you be?”

“Oh, don’t be a baby. You’re the most dangerous thing on this island,” Humei retorted, smacking his large arm for emphasis. “I’m going to try and make Okkam and Hanlon say something illuminating. With any luck, we might get two birds in a day if we multitask. There’s a large inn called the Tangled Weed in the thick of Seaknot. Liria and all the competitors should be there. If you don’t find her, someone there should still be able to point you in her direction.”

“There’s no way I can do this alone.”

“Bao,” Humei interrupted sternly, his attention fully fixed on her, “you are the most dangerous thing on this island. And your reputation is on the line. I trust you to do this, and you need to do this.”

He swallowed down any complaint and then hesitantly nodded. Humei gave her own acknowledgment and walked away, forcing Bao to handle things on his own, like asking for directions.

The Tangled Weed was a modest multi-story wood inn that would have provided comfortable lodging had the front entrance not been filled with armed men and women who were glowering at the bodyguard.

Bao almost shrank away had he not forgotten that he had something very important to do. So he stepped up to the innkeeper, who stolidly met his gaze from the other side of a counter, and asked.

“Is Liria the Dancer in?”

“What’s your business with her?” The innkeeper replied with a practiced deflection, though the quirked brow seemingly challenged Bao’s answer to start with “kill” and end with “her”.

“I just want to ask her about the situation. This is a big deal to me… and, uh, the deputy priestess. I’m taking this very seriously.”

The innkeeper was probably more convinced by Bao’s poor diction than anything, though he split the difference, gesturing with his head towards a nearby bench while he took off to summon the tournament’s next best fighter. He probably assumed a public place would make Bao less likely to be violent.

All these disparaging eyes. Pluck them out. Rain blood upon this building. Leave none alive.

Bao was only lucky that the Oar’s temptations weren’t very tempting at all.

Before long, a grumpy-looking woman approached Bao, dressed in the traditional robes of the land with arms tucked inside in a way that didn’t make it clear what she was armed with, but Bao was certain he heard the clinking and clicking of something metal.

With her lithe frame and unkempt hair, she didn’t look like she had the build for running a man through, but if there was something the bodyguard was intimately aware of, this world had plenty of ways to ensure looks were deceiving.

Bao looked, paused a moment, then took the plunge. “Liria?”

“Yeah”, she bit back, sneer fixed to her face. “What’s the prime suspect here for?”

There was the conundrum. Should he be honest? Deceptive? Supportive? Offensive? What did Bao know about social maneuvering?

“I just wanted to check up on the people on the, uh, danger list,” he offered as politely as he could. “I’m not the killer, honest, but if so, maybe the fellow might attack everyone who’s second-best, like you or me.”

The woman huffed as she sat down opposite him heavily. “I’m no slouch. Second-best still means second-best in all the kingdom. I don’t know how they took down Pana, but fighting me will be a very different thing than fighting a spearman. If anything, I’d say you should look out for yourself. You’re the easy target, exhibition fighter.”

“Really?” Bao found himself giving the possibility a surprisingly hefty amount of consideration – it wasn’t a thought that crossed his mind. “But with all those detectives and the deputy priestess keeping an eye on me, I don’t know how I’d be attacked. Plus, I’m staying at the temple. Would the killer really try to sneak in through all that?”

“Who knows,” Liria huffed, leaning back nonchalantly. “All I know is that someone killed Pana, apparently. That means they’re just about as good as me. That’s all. If they go after me, I’ll come out of this a hero. If you went after me, you’d have a nasty surprise.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Bao affirmed, before wondering aloud. “What if the killer is one of the detectives or ministers? Like what if that Miegale guy turned out to be super bulked out and like, I don’t know, breathes fire?”

Bao said it half as a joke, not even considering it, but that was when he caught it.

A nervous reaction. He wasn’t sure if Liria even knew what she was doing, but her rapid blinking and darting eyes looked like she was suddenly trying to invent an excuse all of a sudden.

But why now? Why was she freaking out about Miegale? Was it that she…

“That… that’s stupid,” The runner-up lamely answered. “It’s probably a crime of passion or jealousy. Something like that.”

“But who else would be jealous of Pana besides us? I mean… if I were jealous. I don’t really care. And you’re basically the best now that Pana is gone…”

She couldn’t hide it as well this time either. The slight grind of her teeth and the flaring of nostrils at the spearman’s memory.

“Yeah, I guess I am the best now,” Liria repeated, more as a whisper.

Did that mean innocence or guilt? There were a lot of ways to hate someone without choosing to kill.

Nonetheless, Bao knew when he heard the death of a conversation, and decided to keep his small gains in mind for now.

“Hey, between the two of us, I think we can keep each other safe. You can always drop by the temple for a night. Maybe double-team whoever’s involved.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, if I ever think I can trust you.”

Of that, Bao was certain there was none on either side. But as he stood up and left, he was certain what he needed to do next.

No crime story was complete without a stakeout full of unhealthy take-out.