The Skeleton King

The next day brought no change respecting Paelyn and Harold, so we decided to finish the quest we’d begun the day before without them. The first floor, which we had cleared of enemies, had only respawned a few small clusters of skeletons, and it was not long before we were making headway on the floor below. Sammy was still a member of his previous party, as Lilian prohibited his joining ours, “one anchor is all the deadweight this team can support” being her words on the subject, but we brought him along with us anyhow. Nor was much experience lost on our part from the very few skeletons which were found by his arrows before the spells of Ori or Lilian.

By about noon we arrived at the boss room door. Sammy and I voted to stop for lunch before proceeding–an idea to which Ori was amenable, but Lilian carried the vote (in a manner of speaking) by telling us that this wasn’t a democracy. With that settled, Lilian stepped forward and pushed on the door, but it didn’t budge.

“I guess it’s a pull?” suggested Ori.

“I can see that,” Lilian snapped. She adjusted her grip and gave a heavy tug, but still the door would not open.

“Do you want me to try?” I asked.

“Stand back unless you want to be blown to pieces,” said Lilian, raising her wand.

The rest of us went to hide behind the corner while she channeled her most powerful spell, but even with all the ice she could conjure, the door remained steadfastly in place.

With a look of annoyance, Lilian wordlessly gestured for me to try what I would. I stepped up to the door, took a hold of the handle, and pulled; the door groaned and opened.

“I guess it was a strength check,” I said, laughing.

Lilian walked seething into the room.

“It’s okay that there are things he can do,” said Ori.

“She has a lot of pride,” I whispered.

“I can see that,” rejoined Ori.

“Would you two stop whispering and get in here?” asked Lilian.

We entered through the heavy wooden doors and were surprised to find that beneath the subterranean cave lay a well-lit throne room. At the far end, surrounded by a small skeleton entourage, was a huge throne, on which sat a skeleton who–even seated–was at least six feet tall. The crown on his head marked him a king, and we weren’t sure whether to expect dialogue or a battle as we made our way along the long red carpet leading from the doors to the regnal dais.

“Greetings, adventurers,” said the skeleton king, as we reached the base of the raised platform where he sat amongst his courtiers. “You have done well to make it this far, having passed my challenges. You solved my puzzle, bested my warriors, and opened my throne room door. Now, you are on the verge of securing my most coveted treasure, but you must pass one last challenge: a test of your self-knowledge. At what do you really excel? I give you three options: a puzzle more difficult, a battle more perilous, or a test of strength more exacting than that you faced before. In which of these areas are you most confident of beating me? Take your time to consider, for I will only give you one chance to earn my treasure.” We withdrew a few paces and formed a circle, excluding Sammy.

“What do you think?” I asked, looking back and forth between Ori and Lilian.

“It’s a tough decision. We could choose the fight, but it’s hard to know how much more difficult the king will be than the mobs of skeletons we had to fight before. I think, stylistically, it will be a much harder fight regardless, since Ori and I are both most effective against large numbers of slow moving enemies. On the other hand the puzzle probably doesn’t require any in-game stats or attributes, for that reason it might be the hardest of the three since technically anyone could beat it, even a level one.”

“Hey I’m level two now,” I said.

“Why did you think I was talking about you?” asked Lilian with a sneer.

“I think we should do the test of strength,” said Ori, stopping the fight which had been about to breakout between Lilian and I.

“Really?” said Lilian.

“Yeah, really? Why?” I asked.

“Think about it. It wouldn’t be an option if it wasn’t possible to beat it right? And I don’t know anyone who’s stronger than Bastian.”

“It could be an idiot test. Are you stupid enough to challenge a ten foot skeleton to an arm wrestling contest?” said Lilian.

“I don’t think so,” said Ori. “Opening the door was a real test. I don’t think we would have gotten in here without Bastian. It’s obvious that they really want us to consider our strengths as a party.”

“Sure, but what makes you think Bastian’s strength is our greatest asset?”

“It isn’t really about being the greatest asset though is it? It’s about being exemplary at something, even if that something is rarely rewarded.” Ori looked at me.

“I’m with Lilian,” I said.

“Then we’ll do the riddle,” said Lilian. “That should come with the least risk.”

“No,” said Ori, seizing Lilian’s arm. “I’m sorry, but that’s not the right choice.” Here she turned and looked at me. “I know this place hasn’t been kind to you, and it’s probably shaken your self-confidence to the point where you’re afraid to let anyone rely on you, but I believe you can do this. No one else I’ve encountered here has anywhere near as much strength as you do. You opened that door with ease. It wasn’t even a challenge for you. Please.”

I looked at Lilian. I could see she saw the sense in what Ori had said, and didn’t intend to insert herself. The choice was mine. I took a deep breath. I had let Eutopia strip me of my pride and belief in myself. I had to do this. “Alright,” I said, “leave it to me!”

“If you screw this up I will never let you live it down,” said Lilian, crossing her arms.

“Thanks for the encouragement,” I said with a chuckle as I approached the throne.

I rotated my arms, tightening my muscles, feeling the super human strength that flowed through them, my joints popping as I got myself limber. “Okay Mr. Skeleton King, I accept your strength challenge!”

“Very well,” said the skeleton. Suddenly a rumbling sound vibrated the throne room, as the monarch rose to his staggering height of nearly eleven feet–putting him at almost exactly double my height. As I looked up at him I gulped. I looked regretfully back at my friends.

“On second thought maybe we should go with the riddle,” I said.

“You can do it! Believe in yourself!” Ori shouted.

“Beat me in two out of three challenges and you pass the test. To give you a sporting chance I will allow you to pick our strength challenges, provided they sufficiently fit the scope and aren’t too similar to each other.”

“Alright,” I said, turning to Ori and Lilian, “what should my first challenge be?”

“Think about what you can do better than anyone,” said Ori.

“Blow up?” I said.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” said Lilian.

“Something else,” said Ori.

“Oh, I have an idea,” I said. “Mr. Skeleton King. For the first challenge you are going to try to hold my arm flat against the ground, and if I’m able to raise it then I win, but if I can’t move my arm then you win.”

“Strange parameters, but I accept your challenge. I'll give you ten seconds to try and raise your arm.”

“That’s fine by me,” I said, lying down on the ground. The huge skeleton hunched over me and I felt his enormous weight suddenly crushing me.

“Alright, you can go now,” said the skeleton.

As quickly as I could, I navigated the menu and equipped the barrel which sprung up under my arm.

“Hmm, you deceived me,” said the skeleton, “that wasn’t a real test of strength.”

“You agreed to it,” said Lilian.

“Fine, but no more nonsense. You chose the test of strength, not the test of wits,” said the skeleton.

“Okay,” I said. "For the next test I say we see who can carry that statue across the room the fastest."

“Are you sure about this?” asked Lilian.

“Relax, look at him, he can’t be that fast,” I said.

“I accept, go ahead, my courtiers will record your time,” he said.

I made my way to the statue: a carving of a man cut from grey rock. At four and a half feet in height, the statue was a little less than life size, but the weight of it was enormous. I bent down and wrenched it up, propping it on my knee. I hoisted it up, readjusted my grip, and started waddling across the room with sliding steps. Finally I set the statue down on the far side and let out a huge sigh. “Alright!” Ori yelled, “that was amazing!”

I turned around and gave her a thumbs up, still huffing too much to yell back an answer.

“Twenty one seconds,” said the courtier.

“My turn,” said the great hulking skeleton. He stretched out his arm and picked up the statue with one hand, turned, took a few steps, and extended his arm to set the statue back where it had started.

“Two seconds!” cried the courtier.

“Yeah we knew he won,” said Lilian irritably.

Sammy started to laugh.

“Choose your final challenge,” said the skeleton.

“What do I do?” I asked my companions. “He’s way stronger than I am. If I don’t come up with another bright idea I’m in for it.”

Lilian shook her head. “If you try to trick him again, he probably won’t accept the result.”

“It’s just not fair,” I said, “he’s just so much bigger than me.”

“Wait, that could be the answer,” said Ori.

“What could?” I asked

“He’s so big. You need to come up with a test that makes his weight a disadvantage.”

“Like push-ups?” I asked.

“I’m not convinced that will swing the needle enough…no offense,” said Lilian.

“Yeah, I’m afraid you’re right. We need some way to really amplify his weight into a handicap.”

Ori snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it!” she proclaimed. She signed to open her menu and typed something into the interface.

“What is your final challenge?” asked the skeleton.

“Don’t get antsy, you're an NPC for crying out loud!” barked Lilian.

“You don’t have to be mean,” said the skeleton king, sounding hurt.

Suddenly Pasqual appeared. “Hey, what’s the problem?” he asked Ori.

“Can you increase the gravity in this room?”

“Can I? Yeah, why?” asked Pasqual.

“Great, Mr. Skeleton, the last challenge is going to be a planking contest.”

“Wait, you said you had an emergency!” said Pasqual.

“I did, we were going to lose the challenge,” said Ori.

“I’m not your personal assistant, you don’t get to summon me anytime you need help with something!”

“Well you made this stupid challenge too hard,” said Ori.

“I don’t do quest balance, and besides, if you didn’t bet on this guy you wouldn’t be in this mess,” said Pasqual.

“You want to say that to my face, punk?” I said, turning on Pasqual.

“Please would you help us?” asked Lilian, trying her most sweet and innocent face.

“Oh, hello Miss Lilian,” said Pasqual, blushing.

“I’m sure it will only take a minute, can’t you please stay that long?”

Pasqual laughed nervously, “Well I suppose,” he stammered.

“Good,” said Lilian, and she winked at Ori.

As the skeleton and I gathered around, Ori explained: “Alright, here’s how it’s going to work. You are both going to get into a planking position with your elbows and feet on the ground. Then we will ramp up the gravity until one of you can’t hold the position any longer.”

“Fine,” said the skeleton, lowering himself to the ground with a series of earthquake-like crashes.

Ori counted us off. “Three, two, one, go!”

I raised myself up into a planking position and took a deep breath. With all my added upper body strength it was easier than I remembered.

“Okay, Pasqual, increase the gravity to 150%!” yelled Ori.

“Okay…” said Pasqual with a sigh.

The next moment it felt like one of the girls or Sammy had climbed on my back, and my first instinct was to yell at him to stop horsing around. The weight added was considerable, but I wasn’t about to fall under it. I looked over at the skeleton. He seemed unfazed. He wasn’t even trembling.

“200%” said Ori.

I took another breath as the weight increased. Still there was no reaction from the skeleton.

Ori responded by calling for the gravity to be raised to 250%.

The weight was crushing now, and the tremors in my arms were becoming violent. I shifted slightly, but there was no finding a comfortable position, I had to bear with the pain.

“Woah, I need to sit down,” said Ori.

“You need to go up faster,” I heard Lilian say. “You have to break the skeleton before you wear Bastian out.”

“300%” Ori said. Her tone was almost casual, but the weight which followed it was enormous. I struggled to breathe, and each time I did sent a bolt of pain through my abdomen.

“350%” she said.

“Yes ma’am” said Pasqual.

My body was screaming now. I took one last excruciating breath. I was on the verge of passing out, but I was also so near buckling that I couldn’t risk another breath. I could feel my legs starting to bow, knowing that if they unlocked it would all be over. I wanted so badly for it to end. I wondered if my opponent was shaking yet, but I couldn't turn my head without falling. My question was answered though, by a sudden comment by Lilian.

“Look, he’s clattering,” she said.

I hadn’t even noticed the strange noise until that moment. The king’s bones were vibrating against each other, and sounded like chattering teeth. I knew any second I would fall, listening half in dread, half ready for Ori’s next pronouncement which I knew must bring me down.

“400%” she said.

“Aye aye,” I heard Pasqual say.

As the weight increased I felt like I was buried under a mountain, not only was the weight unbearable, but I could tell my field of vision was shrinking, like a closing tunnel of purple darkness was engulfing me. I knew I was falling, but I resisted with all my strength. I made it press me down all the way, fighting every inch with excruciating pain. At last I felt the cold stone floor against my chest and dropped into a heap.

I think I blacked out because I don’t remember hearing anything. The next thing I remember I was looking up into Ori’s face as if I was at the bottom of a well. Her voice seemed faint and muffled, like it was echoing down the shaft. I realized I wasn’t really listening, I was just letting the sound pass right through me. She was still talking, however. I strained to listen.

“Are you okay?”

I think I said something, but I could barely hear myself.

“Just relax,” she said. “You did great.” There was a sweet half-smiling look on her face. I realized she was stroking my hair.

“I can’t see anything but your face,” I said, “everywhere else is darkness.”

“That’s called tunnel vision,” she said with a smile.

I laughed. Then she did as well.

I could feel my senses returning, but it was like waking up on fire. I didn’t want to move my body at all, the pain from my arms through my core to my legs was so intense I tried not to twitch a muscle.

“Here,” she said. Ori took her staff and playfully bonked me with it. The green light swelled around me, filling my lungs like a breath of pure oxygen. I decided to try getting up. With a groan I rose to my feet and looked around. The room was almost empty. “Where are the skeletons?” I asked.

“The king’s humerus broke under the weight. Then he and the other skeletons vanished.”

“His humerus… Wait, so I won?”

“Yeah, of course you did,” said Ori with a giggle.

“Oh, I thought I lost,” I said, laughing.

We left the throne room and headed outside. To my surprise, Pasqual hadn’t left. He was sitting by the stream looking thoughtful. He waved me over.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“Look, I don’t know that it’s really my place, but if you’re close with Harold you might want to head back to the campsite.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” I asked.

Pasqual shrugged. “I don’t know the exact details myself. I just wanted to give you the head’s up.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

“No problem,” said Pasqual, and the next moment he disappeared.

I rejoined the others and expressed my intention to head back down the mountain to the campsite. Ori agreed, but Lilian looked aloof.

“I’m not sure how far I’ll go with you,” she said at last. “The truth is, I don’t really care much about Harold. I’ve only had a couple interactions with him, and they weren’t very positive. I hope everything is okay, but I’m not going to go out of my way to pay him a sick visit.”

In the end we settled on a compromise: a path which meandered northwest out of the mountains, which would take us closer to the campground without backtracking through the same forest we’d come by.

Lilian led the way, followed closely by Sammy, with Ori and I bringing up the rear.

“I hope everything is alright with your friend,” said Ori, when we’d walked long enough to drift out of earshot of the others.

“Yeah, I don’t know. Honestly, it’s been on my mind ever since we parted.”

“You know something more than Lilian does, don’t you? I’m not gonna press you to tell me! Sorry–I guess I shouldn’t have said that...”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right. I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but I guess you’re going to find out anyway. He’s having some kind of trouble. When he sleeps he disconnects from Scuba or something–it puts him in this weird coma-like state.”

“Oh no…” said Ori, looking concerned.

“Do you remember the power outage?”

“How could I forget?”

“Well I’m worried that may have made things worse. For all I know he still hasn’t woken up yet.”

“That’s terrible,” said Ori.

“Yeah. I think that was a reminder for everyone that the world down here is only transitory, we can’t stay forever. It might seem cold, but I’m trying to tell myself that it’s okay whatever happens. We can’t all make it out of here. I keep telling myself we’re only shadows–rather than thinking only one of us will live and the rest will die, isn’t it better to think we’re all ghosts, and one of us will get to live again? Otherwise this whole thing seems so horrible–and I really don’t think it is.”

“No, you’re right, but when it comes to losing a friend…I don’t think I would be able to feel that way.” I turned towards her and just glimpsed her face as she looked away, wiping her eyes.

A part of me wanted to say, “I couldn’t either if it was you,” but that seemed far too close to a confession of my feelings. I let it go, and not long afterwards Sammy came running back looking for Ori, bringing an end to our private conversation.