Behind it All (1)

 “I am rather impressed by how elaborate you made something that should have been quite simple to do.”

“Well, that’s what sold the illusion,” I responded. As I said, most of… actually, the entire act was just one big illusion. Well, at least the parts my illusory self was responsible for. My real body just hung around the usurper king watching from the sidelines, not that he noticed. Though, the swords and spells from my assailants were completely real. Especially that last tsunami; I didn’t expect it at all. The wave ended up blocking my vision, so I wasn’t sure whether my illusory self phased through any solid objects. But judging by the guard’s reactions, it seemed that everything turned out fine, or as well as it could’ve been.

Speaking of which…

“Why do I have to carry you again?” I whispered to the bag of bones weighing down my arms. Her sapphire dress glimmered beautifully under the light of the stars, or I imagined it did. It was hard to tell when she was invisible as well.

“Is that not what a prince charming coming to save a princess is supposed to do in this situation?”

“But you’re a queen. Well, former queen,” I quipped back. “You’re old enough to be my grandmother… no, scratch that. You’re old enough to be my great grandmother.”

“There are some things you should never say to a woman, you know?”

“Like how hea–”

“Stop while you’re behind. I can easily lop off your head, with or without a sword,” she spoke in a low, raspy voice before returning to normal. “I would never expect a prop dagger and a bit of red wine would be enough to give the impression I died.”

“Well, it helps that I vaporized your body.” Leaving behind a fake would only spoil the illusion once I left the spell’s effective radius. So, all I needed to do was get rid of the source, whether that was burning a body or shattering a glass pane. It was pretty much a magic trick where the magician always ended up clean. “So can I put you down now?”

“Are you so weak that you cannot lift a frail old woman?” she bemoaned softly, hoping from my arm with a spring in her step.

Obviously! What did you expect from someone with noodle arms? I thought, not that I would ever say it aloud. It would only invite more teasing.

Aside from the tiring number of steps we had to head down, we easily walked out the palace gates. There were some guards posted here and there, but none of them were able to detect the invisibility spell. I wasn’t sure whether it was due to my own skill or the fact that the stream hadn’t stopped yet, but I didn’t care. Granted, it was a bit annoying having to keep my hand on the queen’s shoulder to keep her under my illusion’s influence, leading to a few almost stumbles here and there. But otherwise, it was a rather peaceful escape, if you ignored the guards running around the capital.

It didn’t take long to reach the ‘red herring’ pawn shop with how close it was to the palace. However, unlike the other times I visited, the garage door was already open, just enough to crawl under. With how suspicious it looked, I thought the guards would come over to investigate. But contrary to my beliefs, they simply passed by, as though they were purposely avoiding the building. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’d rather walk the path of least resistance whenever possible.

So, I slipped underneath–

“Look, here they come now,” a familiar voice said.

“Huh? Where?” the owner’s face popped up in front of mine only inches away. I instinctively threw myself to the side, dispelling the illusion at the same time. “Oh there they are.”

“Be more careful next time,” the familiar voice sighed. I looked up only to see a maid sitting on the countertop, twiddling her feet. I didn’t recognize her face, but…

“Elvira?”

“Who else would it be?” she smirked before hopping down next to the owner. As if on cue, the two kneeled in front of the queen, who was busy dusting off the dirt from her dress.

““We greet Her Majesty, Queen Valerie–””

“Stop right there and do not say any more. Not once have either of you shown me the proper respect, so do not start now. It sends a chill up my spine just hearing you regurgitate that.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” “I don’t see why that matters.” They both tilted their heads, acting like they did nothing wrong.

“I swear, both of you give me such a headache,” she muttered, rubbing her templates to soothe her growing annoyance. I half-expected her to bop them on the head, or at least pick up one of the artifacts and smash it into them. I guess she’s more restrained than I thought.

“Since you’re here, I’m guessing you know the way out?” I asked Elvira.

“Of course! That’s easy,” she waved off nonchalantly.

“...are you sure? I spent quite a bit on you.”

“Quit worrying so much. Have I ever let you down? Everything’s fine–”

“What is all this about money?” the queen interrupted. “I thought I told both of you to make sure the otherworlder can live peacefully, correct?”

“I paid for ya ring like normal. Seventy thousand reales he got,” the owner promptly explained.

“Yeah, he’s the one who paid for our services. We charged a fair price,” Elvira huffed, making a coin sign with her fingers.

“And how much was this ‘right price’?” she asked, veins popping out of her wrinkles.

“Only a little bit, right Reynard?”

The owner nodded. So his name is Reynard? I’m honestly surprised I never asked myself. On the other hand…

“I’m pretty sure a hundred thousand reales is quite a lot of money.”

“Hey! At least be accurate. It was only eight thousand reales.”

And how is that any different? I’m pretty sure you would’ve robbed me blind either way.

The queen stared up at the ceiling almost in defeat. “Both of you, reimburse him now.”

The two troublemakers looked at each other for a moment, having a silent conversation, before turning back to us.

““No.””