Chapter 16

After traveling deeply within Asken boarders with no hunter in sight, it was time to rest. We can always tackle the heart of Asken’s capital city tomorrow. Today, we rest under the stars. The Gem Wolves lay about in a calculated circle. Meanwhile, both Ivory and Ebony sat close by. The moon is out, along with the chill of freezing wind. It’s familiar and comforting. My ears and hair feel rejuvenated by the tickles of flowing air. The grass-less so, but Ebony had buried my spot in leaves so I couldn’t feel the annoying blades as I rested.

It’s a calm night and the stars above are plentiful, crossed with an array of lines not found on Earth.

It's as if someone drew constellations with a colorful marker and left it permanent. Several stars were afflicted, others were not. The night sky was a mess, a lazy sketch book left to be witnessed by all on this selfish, beautiful planet.

The sky was pretty. The night sky was crafted with grace.

I almost regretted letting Fakir leave so soon. A scholar would be perfect to drill about the starry art found high above. If there hasn’t been a need to hurry, if this world wasn’t so hostile, if, if, if.

“I want to know the fairytales of the stars,” I yearned, unwilling to blink. “Mom said I wasn’t allowed to read fairytales at all, but I would work with my siblings to hide my fairytale books between their own selected manga.” It was a calculated move so we could tell scary stories under blanket-forts while munching on tarts.

“I know,” Spoke Ivory, with an amused quirk to his lip.

“As do I.” Ebony hummed.

Unsurprising, really, but I still felt the need to talk as if they didn’t know. Something to fill the silence as the wolves listened or dozed.

My mouth itched for something artificially sweet. Some kind of baked goods would do.

“I want to have a picnic.” I abruptly said the first thing on my mind. “Or play a game. Either is fine. I just don’t want to sit still.” Anything to distract from the nostalgia biting at my legs. “There is something building within me and it’s overwhelming. I think I will scream if I focus too hard on what I’m feeling.”

Before either of the twins could answer, I am once again inspecting Ivory’s gift. The wooden crook has a vivid blue tint, and it was quite gorgeous to look at, the embedded lines a sign of thoughtful care. The gift seemed to sparkle under moonlight, as if hiding glitter in the tree bark. An easy sight to drift away with after observing the magnificent stars.

Previously, I asked where Ivory got the wood during a private conversation, he had rolled his shoulders lazily and revealed ‘Prince Rook’ was easy enough to convince in spending money on a foreign guest. He didn’t seem bothered by the question. As if the inquiry itself did not need the attention it deserved.

How callous, Ivory seemed in that moment. It was very much like his counterpart back on Earth, the cold detachment toward other people while fulfilling goals.

…Crafty as my little sibling was, I still saw fit to knock Ivory on the shoulder with the curve of the crook. Ivory shouldn’t adopt the habit of abusing others’ generosity. He was already a powerful sharp shooter, the strong should embrace their talents and whip oneself into shape. Not, badger the lucky for handouts.

Unless it was deeply necessary.

‘I didn’t beg, Sister, he made the mistake of repeatedly challenging me and losing,’ Ivory had whined, and fled to Ebony in avoidance of further punishment.

Now, in the present, perhaps Ivory looked back on our earlier conversation. I can see him sitting up, quicker than Ebony. Ivory’s fluffy white ears are perked in a sign of incoming trouble, a thin smile sliding across his face.

There is an odd shift in the air, the fragility glued over with rubbery play in the form of teasing challenge.

“We can have a picnic,” Ivory offered. “As long as you keep your tail out. It’s quite sad to see you always hiding it, Sister.” He turned his head and extended an arm. “You may not currently have a wolf form, but you have the ears and tail of one. Are you ashamed?”

That was not it. We all knew that wasn’t the reason.

Having a tail was simply…Utterly…

Opal was quick to jump and nuzzle Ivory’s wrist. “We can call this a test of wills. Your training with Ebony helped, right? Then this condition shouldn’t be hard. Besides, you said you wanted a game.” Ivory’s milky eyes twinkled with no small amount of mischief. “A game to help you adjust to seeing yourself as no longer human.”

Cold and mischievous Ivory was, like an arctic fox.

Brat, I continued to lay there, face frozen. The ridiculous fluff under my cloak twisted, still sandwiched between cloak, clothes and gravity. “Ebony, contain your brother,” I rolled on my side, spotting Ruby playing with another wolf pup. “I am this close to clocking him.”

Ebony squinted at me, then looked to Ivory. “Are you two fighting?” Ebony inquired. “Whatever for?”

Ivory puffed a breath. “We’re not fighting, we’re improving ourselves through conflict.”

I cough-laughed into the leaves under my claws. Then, I squeal-hacked when Ruby and their new friend decide to leap on my back. They didn’t weigh too much, the most shock came from their tiny paws and little claws. It still wasn’t an entirely pleasant feeling, being used as a playmat.

The older wolves rush to snatch the youngsters off me but…It’s much too late, I allowed my body still and my ears slump.

“Poor Sister,” Ivory mused. “As they say in your world, life truly goes quickly. Everything can end in a moment.”

Ebony gave a loud exhale. “Do you still want that picnic, Big Sister?” He dropped the subject, which was fine, it wasn’t entirely serious.

I nodded sluggishly into the leaves.

“How about this then,” Ebony followed up softly. “As a reward for casting your dimensional spell…We may set up a picnic there.”

Claws in the leaves gripped so deeply, I felt grass as I bolted up on my knees. Just in time to see Ivory’s pout. “Is that possible?” There is the slightest twitch of my tail as it attempts to flee its confines. I shifted my weight to lean on it. Uncomfortable, but still very much hidden as the tail should be.

Ebony beamed with pride. “Anything will become possible in your very own domain, Big Sister. All you have to do is have intent.” He offered a toothy grin. “And with your training, it will surely be done. You could spawn an entire palace if you wanted.”

That's a little much, What are the Gem Wolves going to do with a palace?

Ebony’s face stilled. “Or, a castle, if you prefer?”

I snorted, as did Ivory, although the latter gained a kick to the side from the other twin. “I’m not looking to be a royal, Ebony. I’m merely a Shepherd guiding my flock to safety.” The two earned a glance of approval. “One day, when we’re all safe, I will understand if you want to leave my side to go live your own lives.”

Ivory’s amused smile wiped faster than snowflakes falling onto a heated surface.

Ebony’s nervous demeanor also faded to one of blank expression.

I met the eyes of both twins, unmoving, unwilling to budge.

Two pairs of ears, white and black, stayed alert and unmoving.

The Gem Wolves, who were already quiet, grew much quieter.

“…I cannot permit that of myself.” Ebony dragged on, in a low voice. “I am meant to serve by your side until the end of my life.” He grimaced at the bristled mint fur on my brown arms. “Big Sister, do not heed us away. I will grow and expand, but I wish to do so while guarding you.” Ebony sat up straighter and gave a half-bow, ducking his head low. “Let me follow the last wish of my other self.”

I say nothing. Cannot, say anything as I observed Ivory grit his fangs.

“Sister? Every time you say such things, I grow ill. Like Ebony, Other Me truly just wanted you to live safely.” Ivory smiled, bitter and humorless. “No matter what. Without world toppling obstacles…Other Me didn’t want you to be alone. Take my hand?” Ivory reached out, waiting.

Ebony’s dark eyes lit up, as if he had come to a realization. “Yes, please take mine too. For a moment.”

They were both presenting an offer.

I should reject them. It would morally be for the best. You cannot grab onto anyone in this way, not family, not friends…No one lasts forever. Be it distance or death, everyone separated somehow and sometime.

I am painfully aware of that. I lived through it. Cursed myself for being too weak to stop it.

And yet here I am, crawling through the grass to get to both twins. The grassy blades churn my stomach but the thought of not following through forced my ears to lower from stress. The wolves easily scooted out of the way, a couple even nose me as I moved past.

My wards truly are supportive. At night the wolves are keeping guard while keeping everyone warm. I didn’t have fur everywhere, so the gem wolves made sure to cuddle around me. When I struggled to keep up with their natural, graceful movements, several of the pack would mirror the exact move over and over until I managed.

By the time my claws touched two outstretched hands, I felt at peace.

Then, came the lightning strike of sheer emotion flooding through my veins.

It felt like adrenaline. It felt like desperation. I tasted grief on the tongue.

WhyWhyWhyCouldn’tIDoMore? Came from Ebony’s hand. Like a tsunami threatening to drown my lungs. A squeeze to the heart. The tearing of hair. More thoughts flooded in like an insistent wave wanting to be heard.

I’mSupposedToProtectHer. ProtectEveryone.

WhyCouldn’tIMove?

IDon’tDeserveToBeCalledHerFamily.

GiveMeAnotherChance.

PleaseGodsGiveUsAnotherTry.

There was no time to cry. No time to look back, because Ivory’s counterpart, my brother, alive in another world, his voice came screaming into my ear. Full of static, complete with a curse to his own name.

AllTheseTalentsAndForWhat?

IfCouldn’tUseAnyOfItToHelpWhatGoodIsIt?!

IDoNotDeserveAllThatIHave!

Under the wave of self-hatred, I instinctively looked to Ivory’s unseeing eyes. The insides of my stomach felt like curdled milk. My teeth felt hollow and fake.

The blindness hadn’t been on purpose from Kazo’s part…?

My claws clenched onto both brothers. My eyes burned but this time, I do not see the need to openly weep. The two were right in front of me. Safe, whole, and living through wishes of thoughts worlds way. I let them see my emotions, the storm brewing in my head as I braved the weather in the quiet of the outside.

“Please,” I pleaded after a single drop of ‘rain’ threatened to fall down. “Stay with me as long as you two wish.”

It’s only fair.

“I can accept that,” Ivory whispered. “And know this, Sister. I don’t hate you. Not even for your mistakes, you still treated me warmly. As you said, we are family. This changes nothing.”

You should hate me, The vivid thought is startling on my part.

Ebony squeezed back as Ivory’s ears lowered.

“Never, Big Sister. Place your trust in us.” Ebony whispered. “From now until the end, we will take care of one another. No matter what comes our way. I will stay,” Ebony’s fluffy ears twitched. “As you offered, I am grateful for your acceptance. Like Ivory here, I will also accept.”

My heart felt unsteady, like I will shatter if I let go of them for a moment.

Due to this, I don’t let go for a long while.

And so we stayed like that, hand-claws entwined, as the stars continued to twinkle alongside the vigilant simmering wolves.