How Long Can I Keep This Up?

As soon as I reached the training grounds, I spotted Akiko. She was sprawled out on the dirt, bruises blotched across her arms and legs like she’d been grinding herself into the ground before I even showed up. She must’ve skipped my fight with Nensho. The thought left a dull ache in my chest; it was stupid, really. Wasn’t that what I wanted? For her to stop hanging around me, stop trying to be my friend? Especially when she might end up an enemy?

But the more I tried to convince myself, the less sure I was. He wouldn’t lie about someone being a threat worse than the Demon King… right? Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that none of it made sense. Why did I have to stop trusting my friend? Why was all of this a threat I had to deal with? Am I even able to handle it? Thoughts like those circulated in my mind, but even with all my thinking, I wasn’t able to find an answer to any of those questions.

But even if I couldn’t trust her, I couldn’t just leave her lying there. She’d helped me train, and the least I could do was return the favor. I started toward her, and that’s when I noticed her arm draped over her eyes. Tear streaks glistened down her cheeks, cutting through the grime and sweat.

She’s been crying…

“A-are you okay?” I asked.

Akiko immediately sat up and wiped the tears off her face. As she looked at me, she had this smile on her face, as if I’d brought her food after she’d been starving. “Y-yeah, why do you ask?”

“I noticed that you were… really beat up.”

Her smile faded into something more pitiful, like she’d just learned that someone had betrayed her. And in a way, someone did. But I’ve come to terms with this fact, or at least I thought I did.

Don’t look at me like that… please.

“I-I’m fine,” she sniffled.

I want to ask if she’s alright. I want to help her, but…

Every time I thought about helping her and reaching out, an image of my parents appeared in my head. Their lifeless, burning bodies it was enough for me to swallow my words. And every time I did, it felt like I was swallowing a handful of needles.

“I’ve just been training,” she said.

“You didn’t come to the duel?”

“No, I knew you’d win,” she smiled.

Her smile was weak and forced. You could tell that she didn’t feel that way just by simply looking at her eyes, so then, why did she decide to smile? I couldn’t understand why she did that. I expected her to be angry at me, and she had every right to be. I broke my promise of talking to her when there’s an issue, and I didn’t offer any help when I clearly noticed that she was crying. So why? Why did she choose to smile at me?

“Oh, thanks…” That was all I could muster. Pitiful right? “What were you training?” I asked.

“Just the suppression training you taught me. I’m able to move pretty fluidly now.”

“That’s good. Can I ask you to teach me how to split step?”

“Yeah, sure, I think it’ll be good for you to have it in your arsenal.”

“Yeah, I figured using that to dodge attacks would be a lot more effective.”

“It really is. It’s so convenient when I’m not able to dodge in time. But the only problem with it is that it is hard to set up a counterattack.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. But I just need something to help me up my defense, especially against someone as strong as you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re planning on fighting me again?” Akiko joked.

“Weren’t you the one who challenged me?” I teased.

We both laughed, and for a moment, I forgot why things between us were supposed to be complicated. But I quickly remembered why it was complicated.

“Ahem,” I immediately stopped laughing, “Let’s start on it then.”

“Uh, yeah… let's.”

I offered her my hand and lifted her to her feet. She held on too long, too tight, like someone afraid of falling again. I let go anyway, because that’s what I always do.

“So what’s the first step?”

“Like for everything in magic, you have to picture it. You have to imagine using celestial magic to ascend space and time and travel to a certain distance. And then you use radiant magic to carry yourself to that point.”

“That seems difficult to imagine…”

“That’s just how I do it; you can try another method if it is easier for you.”

“Can’t I imagine teleporting using celestial and radiant magic?”

“Yeah, of course. Whatever makes it easier for you to learn this ability.”

“Alright then.”

I focused celestial and radiant mana into my body and imagined disappearing and reappearing in front of me.

I’ve seen many people do it, so I should be able to do this myself.

Then, I felt a surge of radiant energy build up inside of me, and before I knew it, I ended up a few feet in front of me.

“I-I did it.”

“Nice job, I didn’t expect you to get it so easily.”

“Thanks, I’m just as surprised as you are.”

“Don’t be too surprised, you’re really talented, so I kind of expected you to get it pretty fast.”

Once I managed it the first time, I just kept repeating the process until it became second nature. It was rough at first, but after a couple of hours, I found the rhythm. Surprisingly, it didn’t drain as much mana as I expected. Once I felt myself running low on mana, I decided to take a short break. Akiko quickly joined me.

“You’re doing really well for your first time learning this.”

“Thanks. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but it just feels natural. On top of that, having a lot of mana helps me continuously practice without stopping.”

“That’s true, having the amount of mana you have is really useful for training. Most of the time, a person without an affinity towards radiance or celestial would’ve run out of mana within thirty minutes of repeatedly using the split step.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, so it’s really impressive that you could do it for as long as you did. You may even rival people who have a mastery of radiance or celestial.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Normally, when a person has an affinity towards a specific element, they don’t burn as much mana, but it seems like your bottomless mana pit makes up for you not having an affinity or blessing.”

“You know you don’t have to keep bringing up the fact that I don’t have a blessing, right?”

“Oh uh yeah. I’m sorry, I was only trying to compliment you.”

“I know, I’m just messing with you.”

Akiko’s face dropped. “You’re evil, you know that?”

“Evil…” I whispered under my breath.

Oh, right, evil. Anyone I know could be evil.

“I was just trying to mess with you. I don’t think you’re evil.”

“Yeah, I know… Alright, let’s get back to training.”

“Oh, okay.”

We trained until the sky went black, and before we knew it, we were both flat on the ground, out of mana. Both of us were just lying there gasping for air, as if we had just run a marathon.

“You finally ran out of mana?” she asked.

“Yeah, and you?”

“I ran out a while ago, but I just kept pushing my body to keep up with you. I thought you would’ve run out before me this time since your training is a lot more costly in mana compared to mine. But it looks like I still have some catching up to do.”

“Don’t talk like I’m stronger than you. Remember, you still have that overly powerful blessing.”

“I know, but if that’s what I need to match up to you, then I would consider myself to be weaker.”

“Don’t be so modest. Besides, I’m the weak one here.” That last sentence came off a lot more serious than I expected. I just hope that she didn’t pick up on that. As I tilted my head towards her, I was met with her gaze. She looked determined this time, her eyes filled with an overwhelming amount of passion.

“I know something is going on with you, Yakusei. Can you please tell me what it is?”

“I… have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“You can stop lying to me! I know there’s an issue; you’re acting just like how she did. You know that you don’t have to put up a front with me, right? You know that I want to help you, right?”

“I know you do!”

…

“Sorry, didn’t mean to yell at you like that. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” she asked.

There it was, my chance to tell her everything. But the words crowded my throat, pressing against my teeth like they were begging to escape: about the vision, about the thing worse than the Demon King, about how none of this made sense.

“Please, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Just tell her, dammit. You know you can’t do this alone. You know that you hate being alone. Don’t relive the sadness you experienced back in your past life.

“It’s just that ever since Vaeltharion announced the thing about the tournament, I’ve been really worried.”

“But didn’t—”

“Can I ask you something?” I cut her off.

“Sure, yeah.”

“Can you teach me the rest of the ascended elements tomorrow? We can skip class together and spend all day training.”

In the end, I chose to hide what I knew away from her.