Chapter 48:
I, a Hermaphrodite, Live by Taking Lives
Seven years in the illusion equaled only seven hours in reality.
Glancing at the daylight outside the window, my throat felt parched, and I reached for tea—only to see Gongsun Bai grab the entire teapot and gulp it down in one go.
The way he drank, it was as if he hadn’t had a drop of water in decades. Within moments, he drained more than half the pot, not leaving me a single mouthful.
“…Couldn’t you at least leave me a sip?” I muttered. But before my complaint had even ended, he snatched my osmanthus cakes and stuffed them into his mouth like a starving wolf.
“Hey! Leave me at least one piece—”
He shot me such a vicious glare that I instantly shut my mouth and behaved. Fine, fine. Considering that I only made it out today thanks to him, I decided not to argue. I sipped the little water left in my teacup, but when I looked up, I found Gongsun Bai floating toward me with a faint, resentful expression.
Startled, I asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
“When you were grabbing the thread of causality—why did you step on my head?”
“Huh?”
He pointed at the top of his head, where his hair bun now drooped crookedly over one ear. “You stepped on me. And you messed up my hair.”
“Well… it’s a little lopsided, sure. But it looks good!” I reached out to smooth the disheveled strands, combing them down with my fingers. “Has a sort of stylish flair to it.”
“…”
He was about to argue further when Kunhong stirred on the bed. Though his eyes remained shut, his eyeballs rolled rapidly beneath the lids, as though trapped in a nightmare.
I hurried over and checked him carefully, finally spotting a pinprick-sized red dot on the back of his neck. Then, right before my eyes, it vanished.
I gasped. “That’s the curse Wanling placed on him. She must have foreseen this day, foreseen that Kunhong would one day try to recover his memories—so she laid this beforehand, barring others from intruding on his mind. For ordinary people, this really would have been impossible to break. But unfortunately for her, she ran into me—the one with the legendary Bodhi Art.”
Gongsun Bai frowned. “So now that the red dot is gone, the curse is broken too?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “A curse like this can only prevent entry once. If I go back in, I’ll be able to see the rest. But I won’t. Master once told me: never forcefully tamper with another person’s fate or karma. A person’s life should only be read once. Any more, and you defy Heaven’s will—and harm your own virtue.”
“Then what do you plan to do with him?” Gongsun Bai folded his arms, his tone icy. “Remember—he’s the High Priest of Beiji now. He’s the actual ruler of that kingdom. One misstep here could spark a diplomatic incident. Even war.”
A shiver ran down my spine. I quickly pulled the quilt over Kunhong, tucking the corners in carefully. “Then maybe… I should just enter his illusion again and erase all memory of me.”
“Wouldn’t that also damage your virtue?”
“Virtue, shmirtue. If I lose some, I’ve got plenty to spare.”
Just as we debated what to do with this ticking time bomb, a knock came at the door.
It was Madam Zhang bringing food. I told her to leave the tray at the door and that I’d fetch it later. But after setting it down, she added: “The young lady has come. She says she wants to visit you.”
The “young lady” was none other than Su Yue.
I froze. Before I could warn Gongsun Bai to get out, her shrill, overbearing voice was already drifting closer: “Sister, I’m here to see you! Are you awake yet?”
The voice came nearer and nearer—already right outside the door.
Damn it, damn it, damn it! I absolutely could not let Su Yue see Gongsun Bai. With her imagination, who knows what nonsense she’d come up with. Worse, she must not see Kunhong either. This girl was hotheaded, righteous to a fault, and if she saw him, there was no telling what chaos she’d cause.
Panicked, I pointed at the skylight, signaling for Gongsun Bai to slip out that way while I stalled Su Yue. But the bastard just drawled lazily, “So what if she sees me? You and I are clean and upright. We’ve nothing to fear from gossip.”
“She’ll beat you up.”
“…”
At last, the horror dawned on him. But it was too late.
Su Yue kicked the door wide open, her dazzling smile freezing mid-face. In the next heartbeat, crockery crashed, teacups shattered.
With a nine-section whip in hand, Su Yue vaulted up to the roof, then flung Gongsun Bai clean across the yard. He landed with a loud thud.
I calmly took Madam Zhang by the arm and went to sit at the stone table outside to eat.
Her eyesight wasn’t what it used to be, so to her, the blur of figures in combat was nothing but gray shadows. “What’s the little miss doing? Why do I keep hearing bang, bang, bang?”
I shaded my eyes with a hand. “Oh, she’s got Gongsun Bai pinned and is stomping all over his back.”
Madam Zhang sighed. “That temper of hers still hasn’t changed. I truly worry—who’d ever dare marry her?”
Cracking melon seeds, I replied, “I think this Gongsun Bai’s pretty good. Thick-skinned, sturdy, resilient. If he can survive a few days under Su Yue’s fists, he’ll do fine.”
Madam Zhang’s teacup rattled in her hand, spilling liquid.
Meanwhile, the fight raged on for dozens of rounds. In truth, it was mostly Su Yue pummeling Gongsun Bai while he dodged. For all his usual carelessness, he proved himself a gentleman—never once striking her, relying only on evasive footwork. I’d seen his lightness skill before; it truly was impressive.
At last, Su Yue was panting heavily. “Gong… Gongsun Bai! Tell me clearly—what did you do to my sister?”
“If I say I did nothing, would you believe me?”
“I’ll believe your ghost!”
Exasperated, Gongsun Bai turned to me. “Hey, are you really not going to step in here?”
I sipped my tea with studied calm. “Hm? What’s that? Sorry, I didn’t catch a word—”
Su Yue stamped her foot. “Sister, don’t worry! If this bastard dares sully your honor, I’ll make sure he pays dearly!” With that, she lunged at him again.
My mood brightened instantly. Even the tea tasted sweeter. Gongsun Bai shot me a dark look that said You’ll pay for this, before scrambling off once more.
At last, Madam Zhang managed to halt the brawl. With half the furniture already wrecked, any more and she might have joined the fray herself. Taking advantage of the pause, I finally explained: Gongsun Bai had merely passed by, worried about my early departure yesterday, and stopped to check on me. Su Yue’s wild attack had been entirely unjustified.
Though Su Yue looked sheepish, her mouth refused to admit defeat. “Even so, I still feel something’s fishy! Yesterday I noticed you sneaking glances at my sister. Do you have designs on her? And another thing—why would someone working in the palace just happen to wander all the way here? Speak the truth!”
“…” Gongsun Bai sighed deeply. “So you noticed…”
Madam Zhang’s hand trembled. Alarmed, I quickly sent her off on an errand to buy vegetables.
Gongsun Bai cleared his throat. “Cough… In truth, I felt an instant kinship with Miss Zhang—”
Su Yue shrieked, “Dream on! I’ll never let my sister marry you!”
“Pfft—” I nearly choked on my tea.
Gongsun Bai flinched, then muttered, “You’re overthinking… I only meant I’d like to become sworn siblings with her.”
“That’s it?” Su Yue looked disappointed.
Before her imagination could spiral further, I cut in hastily: “Su Yue, what did you come here for today?”
She blinked, then slapped her forehead. “Oh, right! I almost forgot. My mother invited you to dine at our house.”
The words nearly made me drop my teacup. “Lady Qinglun wants to invite me?” My hands shook violently, a fire of resentment and grief igniting in my chest.
Emotions surged—hatred, sorrow, a torrent of nameless feelings blurring my vision.
Su Yue chattered on, oblivious: “My mom found out I went to the Hundred Fragrance Pavilion yesterday. Dad wanted to cane me, but she stopped him. Then she heard I’d made a new friend—yourself, being Madam Zhang’s kin—so she said, ‘Her kin is our kin,’ and insisted you come to dinner. My mom’s really kind! Heh heh. But that’s not the important part. The important part is I want you to judge—who’s prettier, my mom or Lady Mingzhu?”
The wind howled past my ears, and my fingers twitched unconsciously at the butterfly clasps on my robe. Tighten, loosen, tighten, loosen.
Qinglun wanted to see me? Could it be—she already knew who I was? No. Impossible. Madam Zhang would never betray me. No one had told them I’d returned. It must simply be a mother’s instinct to meet her daughter’s friend, fearing she’d fallen in with bad company.
That was all. Just a mother’s care.
But she wasn’t my mother.
My thoughts spiraled. I couldn’t rein them in.
“Elder sister? Elder sister!” Su Yue’s urgent voice snapped me back. Her eyes were anxious. “What’s wrong? I called you several times just now.”
Even Gongsun Bai was studying me, deep in thought.
Not knowing how long I’d been dazing, I forced a smile. “Forget it. I won’t go. The great General’s mansion? Just the thought of it makes my knees weak. And sitting between General Su and Lady Qinglun? I’d be too terrified to even lift my chopsticks.”
“My dad’s a little fierce, sure, but he wouldn’t hit guests…”
I quickly improvised. “How about this—you and I just go to some tavern instead. Just the two of us. I’ll be far more at ease.”
Su Yue actually considered it. Gongsun Bai chimed in: “If you’re going for a meal, might as well invite me too. It’s only fair after all the beating I just took.”
Su Yue thought, then nodded. “Alright. I know a new riverside tavern. The owner’s a master with fish—sweet-and-sour, braised, spicy, you name it. A hundred and eight dishes. Sister, do you like fish?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s settled.” She stood and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go right now!”
“Wait, wait, wait!” I suddenly remembered—Kunhong was still lying in my room. A living time bomb. If discovered, the consequences would be catastrophic.
Scrambling for an excuse, I said, “Look at me—no hair combed, no face washed. I can’t go out like this. Give me a moment to change.”
“Fine.” Su Yue turned. “I’ll go ask Madam Zhang if she needs anything.” And off she trotted.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I dragged Gongsun Bai back inside. Kunhong still slept deeply on the bed.
“What about him?” I asked.
Gongsun Bai stroked his chin silently.
I grew anxious. “This incense will last at most twelve hours. By tomorrow at this time, it’ll wear off. With Su Yue’s clingy nature, she might even insist on sleeping over tonight. If she discovers him—”
“Hold it. What do you mean ‘sleeping over’?”
“As in… sharing my bed. Don’t you see how much she likes me?”
He gave me a puzzled look. “If she likes you, why would she want to sleep beside you?”
“That’s what close girlfriends do! Besties! Women who are close often share a bed. You’re a man, you wouldn’t understand.”
He eyed me strangely. “Aren’t you… one too?”
“…”
The topic was veering dangerously off course. I snapped back to the point: Kunhong could not stay here. He was a bomb waiting to go off.
After a pause, Gongsun Bai said, “Actually, I know the perfect place.”
“Where?”
“The Four Nations Posthouse in Shaodu.”
Indeed, with the constant movement of merchants there, Kunhong—being from Beiji—would blend in perfectly. The most dangerous place was often the safest. Unlike here, where Su Yue herself was a ticking time bomb.
I nodded. “That works. You take him there—and bring my luggage too. I’ll move in as well.”
He hesitated. “But… in your current state—”
“It’s only five more days. Better anywhere than stuck here with Su Yue.”
“Alright then.” He smiled faintly. “It’s decided.”
I changed clothes while Gongsun Bai hired a carriage to transport Kunhong. Su Yue returned from chatting with Madam Zhang just in time for the three of us to head off toward the riverside fish tavern.
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