Who Are You

Ariana was alone again.

For the first time since she arrived in this world, she didn’t stand out from anyone. At the moment, she preferred that.

She had run quite a distance and was exhausted. Even after all this time, she still couldn't handle long runs. She looked around for somewhere to sit. She found a table and chair outside a shop stall.

She scanned the area. The ground was wet from a gentle snow that melted almost as soon as it settled. Although it should have been cold, it felt reasonable.

She was reminded of her life before Alex, before meeting her husband, even.

She had just started college, and it was snowing on campus just like the city was now. She had to dress warmer then. Just like today, she was alone, watching people live their lives.

In those days, she felt like she was barely living. There was an emptiness in her that had been slowly eating away at her. There was barely enough left of her inside to feel annoyed and spiteful that others were feeling what she couldn’t. She questioned what the point of being alive even was.

She had moved there from abroad, hoping to find something, anything to fill the void, to get away from whatever it was that was eating her soul. In a way, her arrival in this world was he second time she had to start over… no… the third even.

Even before she left for college, she had to pick up the pieces like she did on the ferry. In her home country, a storm had destroyed her family home… and left her alone and broken.

She was put in the care… no… in the jurisdiction of relatives. They blamed her for the passing of her parents. They said if she hadn’t been born, they would still be alive. They wouldn’t have wasted their lives in that house trying to raise her.

She went out into the new town, she lied about her age to get work, and she did her best to scrape up enough money to prove her worth. She gave them every penny she had. They accused her of sneaking around and stealing.

She worked harder. She worked longer hours and more jobs. She worked herself sick so many times that she missed school. Her relatives called her a delinquent.

Eventually, she had grown enough to make decisions for herself. She decided to move abroad. Her relatives shamed her for abandoning her homeland, for abandoning them, for taking advantage of their hospitality all those years.

They called her a parasite.

And they were right.

They were always right.

She left everything behind a second time, even her name.

In the new country, she was called Ariana.

She accepted the new name, hoping it would lead to something more. She didn’t want to be the lazy, thieving, backstabbing parasite anymore.

There was no motivation to go on with her college studies. No one had anything good to say about how she was doing. The only time someone paid attention to her grades was when they were falling.

The one place she was noticed was in her culinary studies. The instructor was a handsome man who praised her endlessly, but he was also very strict. There were times when he would guide her hands through the motions.

She liked his hands-on methods.

She loved the way he praised her. He called her beautiful and brilliant, and said he loved her. That was enough for her.

The first night she was given the chance, she dug her claws deep into him and never let go. He loved her. He chose her. If she loved him enough, he would never leave her, she thought. She felt alive.

She would sink her teeth into him at every opportunity; he could barely keep up with her. This was a whole new problem for her studies.

Despite their trist, he was still very strict about her studies… when she hadn’t drained the life out of him. Many of his attempts at serious private lessons were thwarted, but not all.

It was on another snowy day like this when she broke the news to him.

She was pregnant.

He had known that what he was doing wasn’t right, and that he could lose his job or worse.

He retired from teaching and took a position in a kitchen.

Alexander was born, and her life had a new love, a new person to devote every waking moment to.

And she did.

On the fateful day that brought her to this world, she argued with her husband about Alex, about him, about Ariana, about the apartment, about careers, about their relationship… about the second baby on the way… and about divorce.

All of that shouting for so long was too much for poor Alex. He begged them to stop, but they wouldn’t.

He ran out.

And the truck came.

Ariana was forced to make an impossible decision. Which child did she save, the one in front of her, or the one inside of her? Was that even her choice to make?

The choice was made regardless… and two lives were exchanged for Alex’s safety.

Maybe that‘s what the voice meant by ultimate sacrifice. Two lives for one. Maybe that’s why she was granted two powers. It seemed right for a world that rewarded death and murder.

She had corrupted a good man and taken everything from him… and she could barely remember his name anymore. She had forgotten Alex’s father as easily as she had forgotten the names of her relatives, her parents, and even her own name. Maybe she really was a monster… a parasite. Maybe that’s why she became a demon.

If that were the case, then Alex couldn’t be here. He was a good boy, good and pure. He could never do something like all that. He could never be a monster like her.

She was so quick to cling to whoever she could; that’s why she was so eager to trust Koichi despite the danger that radiated from him, that’s why she was so ready to call people she just met family. It was to feed on them like a parasite.

All of this, she told herself, was the gospel truth.

As she sat alone with her thoughts, someone took the seat across from her.

She looked up at Sophie. “Sophie? How did you find me?”

Sophie settled in. “I just followed you. You didn’t exactly run very far.”

Ariana looked back the way she came. The pier was visible from here. What was left of it, at any rate.

Ariana looked at the table again. “…oh…”

Sophie leaned closer. “Why did you run away?”

“Because… if I stay with you any longer… I’m a parasite, and I’ll be the death of you.”

“A… parasite?”

Ariana nodded. “You would all be better off without me.”

Sophie slammed the table and shouted. “You don’t get to decide that!”

Ariana was stunned.

“I’m the one who decides what makes my life better! We’ve gone shopping together, and we traveled together, and we waited together, and we ate together, and we fought a big monster together, and we won together! That made my life better!”

Ariana bit her lip. She couldn’t process this. “But… It’s only been a week… We hardly know each other!”

Sophie took a breath like she was going to object… but went quiet. She looked ashamed. “I… suppose getting to know each other is hard… especially if someone was lying…”

Ariana nodded, expecting to be blamed.

Sophie looked at her. “I’m sorry… I lied about how I got here. This world, I mean.”

Ariana met her gaze, confused.

Sophie looked back at the table. “If I want to say all that… I owe you the truth.”

“I was fighting a dragon, but… it was in a video game. I was getting close to the final boss. But then… I felt my hair being pulled. I was dragged from my chair.

It was my father. He… he’d had enough of my sitting around, wasting his money, wasting space, wasting time… I was getting thrown out of the house, as were all of my things.

I begged, I pleaded, I screamed, I cried, but that just made him angrier… he opened the front door of our apartment and… threw me down the stairs.”

Sophie cried as she told her story. “The voice… all I asked from it… was a way to make the pain stop…”

Ariana was shaken by this confession.

“Traveling with all of you… It is the best thing that has ever happened to me! Don’t take it away from me, please!”

Ariana’s heart moved again, and her eyes blurred with tears. She tossed the table aside and embraced Sophie. Sophie, in turn, squeezed tight to her.

Sophie sobbed against her. “Please don’t leave us!”

Ariana struggled to breathe from the crying and hiccups.

“A-and we’re going to that castle! We’re going because you deserve to know the truth after all this! And… and if your son is there… he deserves the truth, too!”

Ariana wanted so desperately to keep traveling with them. If they wanted her to be there, surely it was fine for her to want the same. It was okay for her to want this, too, right? She held Sophie as close as she could and stroked her hair.

After a short while, Sophie guided Ariana back to the group.

Ariana still felt she should be careful not to cling too tightly to the others… but she was glad that they still wanted her, and that they still supported her, even if she wasn’t sure anymore.