A Hot Spring Episode

Communal bathing had a long tradition among the peasantry.

With limited options for hygiene, major water sources like rivers and lakes would be the site of communal baths. Over time, the introduction of private bathrooms and the fear of disease led to their decline.

The news of a new hot spring forming in the hills above town presented a welcome distraction from their impending fight with the Prince. Those who had flocked to Kyle’s village made a point to visit. If they were going to die soon, then they wanted to enjoy themselves a little before they had to go.

Kyle, Abagail, Kari, Fiona, and Meredith all made a point to make the journey up.

“M’telling you,” Fiona exclaimed as they arrived, “It’s massive. Everyone’s been making an effort to spruce it up to give everyone something nice.”

Abagail whistled at the sight. “Ok. This might be worth having you around,” she told Meredith.

Meredith posed. “And you were worried~”

“Oh, I’m never not worried with you around.”

The spring itself had been built up like Fiona claimed, with strange plants that Kari called “bamboo” growing around and tied up to wall off anyone from looking inside. One of the elder women from a different village was sorting things out at the entrance.

Kari was the only one who knew what to expect, claiming that this sort of thing was common in her homeland. The rest followed, only to stop when Kyle was stopped from joining them.

“Sorry,” the woman said. “That way’s the women’s baths. The men’s are the other way.”

Four pairs of hands immediately reached out to pull Kyle into the women’s side, only for the older woman to lash at everyone’s hands with a closed fan.

-----

Kyle had never been to a hot spring before. In his past life, he’d never had a spa day or a trip to the sauna. He’d never set foot in a gym shower. So it was a real wake-up call when he recovered those memories and realized he’d come back as a peasant.

Having over a decade of memories’ worth of public bath help keep things from getting too weird.

He emerged from the partitions at the entrance to a rocky outcropping filled with steaming water. A dozen men were resting in it, some holding themselves in place with outstretched arms on the rock while others were almost completely submerged. The steam was thick enough to preserve their modesty.

Kyle slipped beneath the water, half-listening to the men of the village natter on about this or that like it was the biggest issue of the day.

It was nice to pretend.

-----

The other side of the spring was less crowded. Apparently all of the women in the village had been in here earlier, and were now caring for the children or otherwise busy.

That left Abagail, Kari, Fiona, and Meredith all alone in the women’s hot spring. Each were relaxing in their own way, barely able to see anything with the steam.

Kari leaned into the rocks, only above water from the shoulders up. She had the goofiest grin anyone present had seen on her. “I missed this so much~ It’s like a little reminder of my home.”

Abagail was bracing her arms on the rocks, her chest above water but concealed by the steam. “Alright. Maybe your people were onto something. I could get used to this.”

Fiona was struggling to remain fully underwater, her knees breaking through the surface in very specific spots. She was trying to punch the rocks below to help her sink further into the spring. The curse of being a tall woman. “It’s amazing but can we raise the water level? Or make this deeper?”

Meredith was almost dozing off, with a warm folded towel resting on her forehead as everything neck down was submerged.. “I’ll give you this, it’s a lot cleaner than a hot mud bath.”

“Ugh,” groaned Abagail. “Why would you ever want a hot mud bath?”

Fiona interrupted. “No no, she’s got a point. The feeling you get with the texture, it does wonders for the skin.” She was already starting to sink lower into the water, her red chest starting to finally sink.

“Exactly,” said Meredtih. “When you get to be four hundred years old like I am, you learn the best ways to look young.”

Kari was confused. “I thought you stated that you were three hundred years old.”

“When you get old enough, age is just a number. I lie to everyone else about it, why not lie to myself?”

----

Kyle perked back up when he heard a familiar elder stateman chuckle to himself. He was terrified of what he’d see if he looked.

He did so anyway. Francis was busy trying to cut a hole into the bamboo partition.

Office Kyle stood up from the water, wearing a red bathing suit. “Oh come on, can we please not do the creepy hot springs episode stuff? I – what the heck are you wearing?!”

Peasant Kyle was also standing up, wearing leopard-printed boxers. “Search me. It’s your imagination filling in the gaps.”

Real Kyle rose from the waters and put a small towel around his waist for modesty’s sake. “Cut it out, Francis.”

“That’s the idea,” chuckled Francis.

Kyle grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away but Francis pulled back. “How are you this freaking strong, old man?!”

“It’s the sweet forbidden fruit,” cried Francis.

“You've seen everyone in town naked,” Kyle shot back. “Including me!”

As the two continued to tussle, they began crashing into the bamboo barrier. “Not them! You hoard them all for yourself!”

“What kind of man do you think I –”

The two barged through the bamboo barrier, sending the entire thing crashing into the ground and with it anything that separated the men and women’s side.

The women looked over, stunned.

“Eh-he-he-he!” Francis produced a fan. “Now all we have to do is get rid of this steam, and –“

He froze as he saw two wands and a staff blasting spells at him for breaking their relaxation. Then he had a full warhammer swung at him.

-----

The men were quickly forced out of the hot spring, banned from reentering until the hot springs were repaired.

Everyone got redressed, with Kyle chewing out Francis as the throng of men cleared. “You couldn’t let me just have this? Do you know how little I get to relax or enjoy things?!”

The question made Francis take a step back. “You get as much as everyone else,” he said.

Kyle was furious. Even if Francis was correct, that didn’t make him right. Some things never change, not even in different lifetimes.

But before he could leave, a familiar voice called out behind him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Home. I –” Kyle turned to see Meredith wearing naught but a towel, who had wrapped her towel tightly enough to be extra perky.

Kyle developed a nose bleed.

Meredith grinned. "I don’t think you’re going anywhere. Because you’re just in time to test my latest magic tincture.” She produced a syringe with a liquid that Kyle would describe as ‘glowstick green’.

Kyle glared at her. “Meredith. There’s no way they’re letting me in there unless I spontaneously turn into a woman.”

“Oh, so you already know what this does! Well, that ruins the surprise.” Meredith jumped up and injected her glowing solution into his shoulder.