Bathroom Introspections

For the first time in a while Michio had some time to think about things and he realised that he had quite a bit to think about. What a strange situation this all was. Living in the same place as the girl he loved should be a dream, but she treated him with nothing but contempt even though he couldn't help the situation even if he wanted to. But tonight, when he saw her break down in tears, he couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. 

He looked in the mirror that was hanging on the wall and thought about himself. His short brown hair and brown eyes were unremarkable. His face wasn't unattractive and most people would probably have called him good looking even, but he was still nothing special and next to Aidas radiant beauty he felt completely inadequate. Maybe that was why he was willing to let her treat him like she did. He knew that she was unreasonable about him not realizing what her emotional outbreak was about. Still, he felt bad about putting her through it, even if it was by complete accident. Especially since he probably was the cause of both their deaths. He still couldn't remember how it all went down, but he felt very strongly that something he did led them to being here, so if she actually hated being forced to live with him, being treated like this was a fitting punishment. 

And he knew what kind of person she was anyway, she never really treated him any other way even when they were alive and he never stopped being in love with her. But that also lead to the thought that he didn't really know anything about her despite chasing after her for nearly two years. He didn't even know a dish she liked. Let alone anything meaningful. What was her idea of the future? What kind of life would she liked to have lead? Michio himself never really had any real goals in mind. In school he was average without having to try hard and he never saw the point in trying to achieve more, since that bascially meant you had to keep trying hard for the rest of your live or you would inevitable be marked a failure if you ever fell off.

Keeping expectations low was way easier. His only real goal was Aida. All his aspirations in life were tied to her. Becoming her boyfriend. Getting married to her. Having children with her. It was the only future he ever envisioned for himself. But her outlook on life must have been very different. Maybe her family had expectations for her she wanted to meet. Or had she someone else that she had the same dreams about Michio had with Aida? She was actually an excellent student and he knew that she was thinking about what university to attend. That was already more forethought than Michio had ever put into anything besides his lofty ideas about his imaginary relationship with Aida. Maybe that was the reason that Aida couldn't fall in love with him.

For someone with ambitions he must have looked like a deadbeat loser with nothing going for him. And maybe that wasn't even wrong. But now they were stuck in this place and everything she wanted to achieve had lost all meaning. She couldn't even see her family again. This was supposed to be heaven, but for someone who's live had meaning when she died, it must feel more like hell. Michio on the other hand could adapt to this situation much easier, since his life basically didn't change much. There was no need to go to school anymore, and besides that he could just go about his daily life like before. There were no highs, there were no lows. And he even was with the girl he liked and he had all eternity to convince her to fall in love with him. But he still wished he could help her in some way. He felt overwhelmed when he saw her crying at the kitchen table and he knew that she most likely didn't even show the true depth of her despair to him. Who knew what she was thinking about alone in the bedroom. He wished he could turn back the time and undo what he had done, whatever it was. When he got out of the bath he was still pondering what he could do to at least make her feel a little better. Cooking surely was one thing, but maybe he could take her somewhere to make her forget about things at least temporarily. If she was willing to go anywhere with him. But it was worth a try at least. When he left the bathroom he saw that Aida indeed left a pillow and a blanket out for him and he took it down to the couch with him. Maybe there was some hope of them at least living together in a decent manner after all. As he fell asleep he was determined to find something fun to do for them both and take Aida there, even if she was reluctant. Surely there was some fun to be had in heaven.