Secret Order

 “That jumping trick was really nice,” Arianwen said and gave a light slap on Samuel’s shoulder.

She sat down across from him with a tray overflowing with food. Despite her easygoing manner, it was hard to say whether the thing that happened with Madoc no longer affected her, or if she was simply trying to act that way. If nothing else, her countenance showed that whatever she felt inside, she had no ill will towards him. Her eyes radiated kindness and Samuel had to fight to be able to look away as Yorath joined them.

“I never thought of using my powers like that,” she continued.

“Thank you. It’s just something we did back …” Samuel had to stop himself. Without thinking he had almost told the true story. Is there even any reason I keep holding this to myself? He was getting a strange look from Arianwen. “When we trained with Madoc.” In the end the incomplete truth was the best answer. Arianwen nodded in understanding and Yorath’s scowl deepened. “Anyway, you did almost the same thing when you saved me. Thank you.” Samuel held out his hand over the table and she gave it a firm squeeze and shook it.

“What can I say, I am a fast learner. I actually tried it out later when we came back and I couldn’t sleep. It’s more painful than I thought. Also, it was difficult to keep my balance. I can’t imagine how you do it with just a single hand.”

“Yes, it takes a while to get used to it. You need to find the right point of balance. Kind of like doing a handstand. It’s very difficult until you practise for a while,” Samuel said. Arianwen was staring intently at him and made him lose his train of thought. He cleared his throat. “We can try it out later if you want.”

“I’d like that,” she said with a large smile.

After they ate, they walked the hallways together. Samuel knew a difficult conversation was yet to come. Yorath hadn’t commented on anything since they got together and only looked thoughtful or frowning. At some point they had to clear up what had happened.

“Yorath.”

“Samuel.”

They both started talking at the exact same time. Arianwen looked with interest as Samuel chuckled at the situation and Yorath sighed and motioned to Samuel to go ahead.

“I didn’t get do the ritual. I didn’t even know about what Madoc has been doing all this time. I left after you two and was even searching for you.”

“And yet, there was something in your eyes then. You wanted it,” Yorath said.

Samuel found that Yorath was correct. There was no way to deny it. “Maybe. I mean in the end it’s what we’re all trying to achieve, isn’t it? We want to get stronger.”

“We do. However, there is a right and wrong way to go about it. I don’t like what he’s doing. Don’t you feel so too? Besides, did it really work? All he did was more erratic and unstable. Instead of becoming stronger, he could just become a danger to himself and those around him.”

“I see what you’re saying,” Samuel said after thinking about it for a while. He couldn’t admit it but the only thing that allowed him to resist the pull to join Madoc in his experiments was his additional artefact.

He ached to use it. He had already done so multiple times in his dreams and nightmares and the explosion of relief and pleasure over the power he controlled was immeasurable. It was a drug for his mind and even as he woke up it lingered for a while before leaving behind a craving, a gaping dark hole that only pure magic could fill. Yet the amount his current artefact allowed was so limited that it felt like pouring a glass of water into the volcanoes of the wasteland.

“But what if he’s right?” Samuel asked. “What if that’s simply how it works?”

Yorath shook his head with a growl. “It cant’ be. I’ve seen more powerful wizards than us at work. They were doing just fine. It has to be something else.” He continued after a sigh. “I think we should consider reporting Madoc.”

Samuel gaped at Yorath and even Arianwen seemed taken aback. “What?” they exclaimed in unison.

Yorath lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if I just want to do it out of some misguided feelings of vengeance. Think about it. What if he keeps doing this and goes deeper and deeper. He could hurt himself.”

“We will not report him,” Samuel spoke with a strong voice. “I won’t betray him like that.” The words stung more than he had thought they would. He could only hope that it wasn’t written over his face.

“And then what? Will you just leave him to do as he pleases? What if he decides animals are no longer enough?”

Samuel felt as if he had been slapped. “How dare you? You have no idea what we have been through together.” He walked right in Yorath’s face. He hadn’t felt that much anger even during the worst days of his life. He was feeling the magical power swirl within his body, aching to burst forth in attack.

“Stop it you two,” Arianwen said and got between them. She held Samuel’s shoulder with one hand and Yorath’s with the other. “That’s enough. We all want what’s best for Madoc.” She looked from one to the other. “Don’t we?”

Both of them grumbled in assent. Samuel’s head began cooling down and he found himself horrified at how close he came to using magic against his own friends. What’s happening to me?

“Look. It’s true we can’t just leave Madoc alone,” she continued. “You saw that his magic was getting less stable. At the same time we can’t just turn him in. We need to get him to understand what he’s doing is wrong. No power is worth that much.” Her eyes had a strange gleam as she said the last part and Yorath’s eye twitched in annoyance at it. Maybe she really isn’t over it either. I wonder how Yorath manages to control himself. He didn’t think the man just simply had no drive for power.

A voice from behind a corner made them stop in their tracks.

“If it’s such a problem, there is no need to send them. We can take care of it ourselves. Why would we want to risk it?” Ivor was talking with an irritated voice.

They sneaked closer to the source of the voice. Every step filled Samuel with a heavier feeling of dread, making the last couple of steps almost impossible.

“They will just get in my way,” Ivor said. There was a noise in reply but it didn’t sound like spoken words. It was like a wind howling through the cracks of an old shack.

Samuel only dared a small glance around the corner and saw Ivor facing a sorcerer. He had seen a couple during his time at the Academy, though only the first encounter was particularly memorable.

“From above? What in the name of Nefara is above you guys?” Ivor staggered back a little as the sorcerer responded. “All right, I get it. There is no need for this.”

The oppressive presence disappeared a moment later and Ivor was grumbling to himself as he began walking away. Samuel waved for them to get out of there and they tried sneaking as fast as possible, taking random turns along the hallways.

An ominous feeling of dread pervaded their thoughts and made them forget their discussions and disagreements. Even without exchanging a word, a single glance between them told them they were all feeling the same.