Fool Me Once

Even the worst hangover I had suffered in my youth paled in comparison to how I was feeling when I woke up. I groaned in agony as I became more aware of my pain—intense pain—that shot throughout my body. My left arm refused to move. It was a miracle I was alive.

My cries of pain had alerted someone that I was awake because I could hear shuffling and approaching footsteps. An old lady loomed over me. White eyes examined me while a haggard face contemplated what to do. If ever there was such a thing as a spitting image of a witch, she was it.

“I see you’re awake. Nasty little fall you had.”

I managed a painful groan in response.

“You’d best keep your mouth shut. I’m afraid your jaw is broken.”

She shuffled off out of sight. I could hear her rummaging first through vials and then cupboards and then what sounded like metal plots. One of the pots was put on a stove. A small puff of flame sounded as it started. A few minutes later the witch came back with a bowl.

“This’ll help. Drink up.”

She poured the contents of the bowl into my mouth. It was the vilest tasting medicine that I had ever swallowed. But it wasted no time in getting to work.

“You better get some sleep. I’ll be back later.”

She left and I was alone. The vile medicine at least distracted me from the pain which gradually subsided. I used this opportunity to examine my surroundings. Half of a large tree root ran through the ceiling which was made of dirt. Opposite from me was a wall full of cupboards and shelves. To the left was a window out of sight but I could see light coming from there. The floor consisted of a few patches of wood spread over the ground. The entire place smelled of strong herbs and dirt. I leaned back down on the bed and went to sleep.

It might have been the next day or it could have only been a few hours, but I had no idea how much time had passed when I awoke. The pain was back, and so were the groans of agony. I heard the witch shuffle over. She examined me, pressing her index finger to her lips when I opened my mouth, indicating I should be quiet. She walked away and prepared another bowl of that medicine. It tasted just as terrible as the first time.

“A few more days and you’ll be good as new,” she said.

She wandered off and then returned dragging a spinning wheel. She sat in a corner and spun her golden thread. In between the periodic naps I took, she advanced from spinning thread to knitting. From what I saw while I was awake, she never took a rest, working tirelessly. On what might have been my third day there, she finished what she was knitting and brought it over to me. It was a bandage for my jaw.

“Before I shut you up I’ll give you some more medicine. I know how much you love it.”

This was the last time I was forced to drink that vile concoction. After I drank the contents of the bowl, the witch placed the golden bandage underneath my jaw and lifted the sides up past my head where she tied the two ends together. My mouth was firmly closed now.

A few days later while I was laying in bed, I moved my jaw about to test how the recovery process was going. I couldn’t believe it but my jaw was healed. I made a sound to draw the witches attention over.

“Healed, is it? Let’s get that bandage off then. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of your left arm soon enough.”

She undid the knot tying the bandage together and removed it from my face. I made a pained groaning sound as I cleaned my throat.

“Argh. I can talk again.”

“How does your jaw feel?”

“A bit stiff and swollen. Still hurts.”

She examined my jaw and cheeks, moving my face around when necessary.

“Let me know if it gets worse. For now, rest some more.”

“Wait, who are you?” I asked, but she didn’t answer me, and so I rested.

The next day she came to examine my jaw, making various ‘hmm’s and ‘humm’s as she did. She then prepared some soup for me. The soup wasn’t bad. There were no frog’s legs or eyeballs, instead, it had a strong herbal taste. When I was done, I placed the soup bowl on the night stand and watched the witch spin more yarn.

“Thank you for the food and for the medicine.”

“’Tis no worry. Relax.”

“Can I ask who you are? My name is Ferdinand.”

“Oh, I know who you are... And I know what your journey is.”

“You... you do?”

“Have you heard of the Alpen before?” she asked, ignoring my question.

“No, I haven’t... Wait, I think a travelling companion of mine said King Eulerich is one.”

“He is the king of the Alppen woods. I refer to the Alpen, or Alps.”

“The mountain range in Europe?”

“I have not heard of a Europe in these lands; but no, not a mountain range, but a mischievous spirit that delights in tormenting other beings.”

“There are lots of creatures like that in this world. I’ve seen water nymphs and imps.”

“Indeed. And you may say you have seen an alp too. You met one the other day, though in the guise of a forest nymph.”

“Ursa?”

“Yes, that little she-devil. Though she is no more, same too for her buzzard friend.”

“You’re going to have to explain that again, I don’t quite follow. That forest nymph was actually an alp?”

“It seems you have your answer. How those two found you, I don’t know, but it is likely they followed you for quite some time. Your journey is surely becoming dangerous. Wode has revealed his hand and it claws desperately for a soul. Perhaps sending you home would be best?”

There was that name again, but it wasn’t that important if I could go home.

“Yes, send me home! I’ve had enough of this journey. I want nothing more than to go home.”

“Very well, I’ll arrange it.”

“Really?!” I shouted then balled over as I had to clench my jaw shut.

“I’ll prepare some more medicine. Your jaw will be healed tomorrow and then you may leave. You have until then to decide.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Witch.”

“Enough talking or you’ll dislocate your jaw.”

I spent the rest of the day thinking about going home. It was so close, and this time I knew it had to be real. Like a kid the day before Christmas, I couldn’t quell my excitement. ‘Fool me once’ as they say, but the witch had proven herself to be trustworthy, so I had no reason to doubt the sincerity of her words.

Though there were still regrets that I had. I would have liked to say goodbye to Luna, and Marisa to a degree. Despite them being angry that I would leave, I hoped they would understand. Part of me felt ashamed that I was abandoning this world, but I had no ties or obligations to them. They were the ones who unfairly brought me here and then thrust the task of fixing their barrier. I’m sure they would find an alternative way to fix it in my absence.

“Running away are you?” said a voice.

I opened my eyes but there was no one in the witch’s hovel.

“You think you’ll be happy as a coward?” said the voice right next to me.

I tossed the bed coverings off and scrambled to get away from the bed. When I looked back, there was nothing there. I looked around. Where was the voice coming from? I returned to the bed and lay down.

“You will forsake the world and doom its inhabitants? For what, earthly possessions?”

“Shut up!” I said, covering my ears.

A swirling black shape floated in the room. Horns, hair, eyes, and a mouth formed out of the spiral. Its jaw hung loose with a sick, iron tongue. Its nose was disfigured and long. The hairy face with wild eyes stared at me. No body, arms, or legs formed. It orbited in small circles in front of me.

“You deceive yourself with complaints: the journey is too long; the food is too poor; the danger is too great; but what do such struggles mean? Oath, duty, and contract are meaningless to you if nothing matters. Who can enforce such agreements? And what of the accumulated debt of regret? Do you think it is payable?”

I didn’t answer the face. I didn’t know how to answer. The witch came home, opening the door and walking in to find me huddled on the bed like a small child. The terrifying face disappeared in a cloud of nothingness.

“Did you see that?” I asked.

The witch cocked her left eyebrow. “See what?”

“Nothing... I imagined something. Goodnight.”