To make a decision

My pause of reflection ended up being detrimental.

And what's worse is that now I have to go back to [TRAVELER] and talk to him. I don't like how things developed, but if I look at the glass half full there's a silver lining. Tama manipulated me and Lionheart, but if what she says is true…now I have a chance to actually save my soul.

It was a roundabout way to obtain a power, but I have it…kind of.

I arrive back to the bonfire deep inside the cavern, finding out one of the two fishes the guy cooked still there, for me to eat. On one hand, It's a nice gesture. My stomach is empty, no matter how little appetite I have… there's a limit to the time I can spend without eating and drinking due to my own mental limitations.

On the other…how am I supposed to eat it? There's nothing other than the fish skewered on a wooden skewer. I'm not even sure which species it is…it doesn't seem that different from those I was used to eat in the previous world.

But back then, there was always a cooking method, a spice, or something that made the meal make sense. It was never just a trout cooked and served on a plate. Now I have in front of me a meal comprised by an unknown fish and nothing else, to be eaten without any specific spice…

"You're gloomy, princess. Your beauty walk didn't go well?"

"I'm hungry now…"

"Then, please go ahead."

"How…do you eat this?"

"Oh right, you were among the nobility in this world. So, you wouldn't know. You open your mouth like this, and then close it using your teeth to chew."

"Fuck you."

"Language princess. I could be your father."

"Thank God you're not."

"That's harsh to say to the one who prepared you a meal."

Maybe I really was spoiled about food. After all, even previous me was used to meticulously cooked cuisine, perfectly calibrated to balance the nutrients I needed to excel in whatever I did…not that it helped much given how everything ended up.

Thinking about it, I really was lax about food since coming to this world. I grasp one and of the skewer, [TRAVELER] takes the other skewer and mimicked a biting movement..still wearing his helmet.

"Wait a moment, how did you eat?"

"I opened my mouth like this then I closed it, using my teeth to chew."

"You really deserve to be hit constantly, has anyone ever told you?"

"Both my wife and my daughter used to."

"They were right."

"How have you eaten with that helmet? Like, even now you said that you opened your mouth but I can't see anything past it…"

"While you were away I took it off and ate."

"So you can take it off!"

"Well…yes? I never said I couldn't."

"Let me take a look."

"At what?"

"Your face."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm shy."

"…"

"What?"

"Let me take a look! Just a quick peek I swear!"

"No, leave me alone."

"Pleeeeeeease."

"You should demonstrate this kind of enthusiasm about important things, not seeing one's face."

"But I'm curious…"

"Behave yourself, young lady."

"if you keep treating me like a child, I'll bite you."

"You are a child…I think at least. The body you have here seems like a child at least."

"What!? Are you serious? This beautiful gothic Lolita seems like a child to you?"

While saying that I ignored the irony is arguing that a lolita seems like…a lolita. I simply bet on the fact that the universe he comes from does not have this sophisticated clothing style and try to gaslight him and saying I'm right. He doesn't bite.

"No self-respecting adult woman would dress like that."

"Those are my work clothes…"

"Bullshit, you wore them since before entering the city."

"Then you do remember me!"

"…kinda"

"Are you trying to lie in order to avoid being held accountable for me abandoning my mission?"

"…not at all."

"You know, you're really soft when you're on the backfoot."

"Do you want to eat that or not? I'll steal it if you don't."

"Go ahead, I'll be able to see your face if you do."

"…no, you need it, you have not eaten anything for three days. I managed to give you water at least while you were out cold, but not any food. So that's yours."

"You really don't want to show yourself huh…you do know that behaving like this only makes me more curious, do you?"

"There's nothing special about my face."

"Come on…"

"No."

"Uff…"

If I keep going like this, we'll probably be here all day even if it's just a little after dawn. So, I give up for now and proceed to the next task…eating this thing. Given that there's so obvious way to go about it, I opt for the…most obvious approach. I simply take a bite on the side.

It's crisp but other than that, nothing special. It could use some salt. Like, a lot of salt.

"See? Was it that hard?"

"I think IO only complained on how to eat it to delay actually eating…I was sure this would have tasted bland."

"You really are spoiled."

"I…suppose you're right. If there was one thing I can't really complain about both my previous and current life, it's how I was fed. Not that it matters now…"

Whatever decision will I come to, one thing's for certain. My days being a maid at the Khriem's mansion are well and truly over. That means that even if I choose to not pursuit the Goddess mission, I will have to completely change lifestyle. Restart from zero. And this time I will most likely be alone.

"So, why that gloom?"

"Huh?"

"You seem sad since you came back, well, sadder than before at least. Has the gravity of the situation hit you?"

"It's…well, actually you could say that."

"So, what will you do?"

The moment it's now, I should bring up the topic to [TRAVELER], ask him for help. But honestly, I'm not sure I want to try my hand at breaking the chain yet.

"May I ask you something?" I say to the other Fateless

"Sure, make it quick though."

He could have just said "sure". He really knows how to get on someone's nerves, or maybe it's just his talent, everyone has one and he just happen to be the most annoying dude on this world.

"When we first met, you told me to abandon the Goddess's mission. You said it was a lost cause. Why?"

"Chains are tough to destroy, holy knights are a pain to deal with, Arthesya's power is depleting and reinforcements are dwindling. You're the first one in years and…well, before your little Fateless awakening, you were useless."

"You could have given me a chance back then…"

"It was obvious you were too weak. There was no mana around you."

"So, you gave up because there was no way to accomplish the mission?"

"I…shouldn't have been reincarnated at all. I was simply too weak to die. I'm here because of that."

"…care to explain?"

"It's gonna be a long one."

"We got time."

"You really don't know when people are telling you to let it be."

"You said we should hide here for longer; I'm just taking the chance to know each other."

"Don't you know how relaxing is silence?"

"Come on, tell me. It's either that, or you do a face reveal."

"You have nothing to blackmail me with. I can simply do neither."

"I can use violence."

"I can freeze you."

"We're running in circles, come on, tell me."

"Why?"

"I…actually need to decide what to do now. It would be good to understand why others gave up on the mission… and you're the only one I know. So, please tell me…"

"What a hassle you are."

"Pretty please."

"Fine, don't complain if it ends up being a useless side story though."