Chapter 38:

30.2. Closed

Heart Dream - How I Got To Chase My Dreams and Myself In Another World!


Caoilainn blushed and moved away a bit. She pointed at herself and said:
- "Me? Why do you admire me?"
- "Well" - he replied - "you are always cheerful, always confident, always holding your head high." - he paused - "this is the attitude of true warrior" - much to Mazanlold's dismay, Caoilainn took a minute to process that, instead of enjoying the praise. She said:
- "It's funny you say that" - she played around with her fingers - "because actually" - she looked down - "it's kind of a facade" - she stopped. - Mazanlold looked at her, waiting - "I feel like a fake sometimes."
- "Why is that?"
- "Well, you see" - Caoilainn spoke slowly - "I am no noblewoman. I was an orphan. I spent a great deal of years in a terrible orphanage." - she looked down - "my caretaker was abusive and I was used because of my magical prowess. I had to work tirelessly to serve her. It was a terrible life."
- "Wow, I didn't know that" - Mazanlold replied and looked at her - "I am sorry for that."
- "No need to be sorry, it is over."
- "But how was it over?"
- "Well, one day" - Caoilainn started looking up, recalling the memory - "we were visited by the lord of Morirom, Isabella's father. He came there to liberate us. The guards rescued everyone and the caretaker and the other workers were arrested." - she looked up again - "well, the guards rescued everyone, except me. I was panicking and hid from everyone. After all the commotion, a small girl found me. She was small, but stern, pretty and so lady like..."
- "Isabella" - Mazanlold said, with a smile.
- "Exactly" - Caoilainn smiled too. - "she found me in a corner, shivering, afraid. She came in slowly, with shining eyes and stood out her hand. I did not want to, but Isabella did not move until I held her hand. She brought me to her father, who knelt to speak with me." - she paused - "I don't remember his words, but he was very gentle and he adopted me. That's how I became Caoilainn of Kitatik, I don't have all the rights of Isabella, but I do have a good family." - Caoilainn relaxed a bit. Mazanlold did the same and waited.

After some thought, he said:
- "Well, I'm glad you found a good family. And of course that you have that attitude. But why do you fell you are you a fake?" - he moved a bit - "that story does not explain it."
- "Now you were sharp." - she turned to him - "give me a second, I will explain. I think it's good that we open up with each other." - Caoilainn got up and walked a bit in the cell. Mazanlold simply waited in silence.

After some time, she sat down again, leaned a bit and said:
- "So, there is one thing before the orphanage, one of the only memories I have of my mom. She was a mage too, but she was sick and died when I was really young" - Caoilainn looked down - "in her last night we were looking at a beautiful starry sky and she said to me 'even when I'm no longer here, be strong, keep going and look at the stars. You are like them, you are special, you can shiny brightly just like them, just believe in yourself and keep dreaming.' And then, she passed away by my side" - Caoilainn stopped. Mazanlold could see her tears falling on her legs and on the ground. So, he waited, then held her shoulder softly and said:
- "I'm sorry, Caoilainn" - she took a breath, before looking at him with teary eyes and saying:
- "Don't worry, it's alright" - she cleaned her tears. - "So" - she took another breath - "the period on the orphanage was a nightmare, I was special, but as a slave. Despite that, I kept dreaming every night alone, looking at the sky and falling asleep." - she paused - "after I was adopted, everyone was really nice to me, and I could learn a lot and I learned really fast. I became quite the good mage. That's when it happened..."
- "What?"
- "I got lenient. I started believing I was special, unique, not because I was talented, but because it solved everything. If I was special, suddenly I had the right to be whoever I wanted to be and to chase my dreams and to enjoy being myself." - she shed a few tears. Mazanlold looked puzzled:
- "And isn't that good?"
- "Yes, it is" - she smiled - "it's just that" - she looked at him - "I still think it is a lie. I'm not special, I am just another person who can be easily replaced. That lie keeps me going, but I often doubt it. And" - she was hesitating - "I still... fear being abandoned... being replaced forever..." - she looked down again. Mazanlold didn't know how to react, but tried his best:
- "Caoilainn, you are special. You are special to us, you are unique. You are a great mage, and a great friend. You stand proudly and go on and chase your dreams. I am not good at words and feelings and abstract dreams, but one thing I know. It is the right of everyone to find something to look for and to fight for with everything they have." - he looked up - "that's what a warrior does" - he looked at her - "and that's what I believe everyone should do." - Caoilainn smiled at him, approached, hugged him and said:
- "Thank you Mazanlold, it means a lot" - he embraced her:
- "Don't worry, I'm not an expert here, but I speak with my heart." - a few moments later, they released each other and stood up to walk a bit and to relax. It was a lot to digest.

The sun traversed in the minuscule window, as they kept mostly silent, being patient. They did have some terrible soup and some chit chat, and decided to lie down. Moments later, a loud thud roared in the cell. As they looked down, a gap appeared in the middle of the cell and a wall was rising. They jumped out of their beds to try to get to the other side, but they only reacted in time to slam at the wall.
- "Mazanlold, Mazanlold!" - Caoilainn shouted
- "Caoilainn!" - Mazanlold also shouted, trying to find a gap or stop the wall. - "Caoilainn!" - Mazanlold kept shouting until he could hear nothing else.
- "Mazanlold Mazanlold!" - Caoilainn kept shouting.

But now, they were separated.

Solerite
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