Howard ~ Past ~ Sometimes, history does repeat itself.

I looked at her. Wondering how to approach this.

I couldn’t exactly examine her without her permission, not if I wanted my head to remain on my shoulders. It felt kind of hopeless, but after a week trying to communicate with the locals, I gathered a bit of experience with this kind of problem.

I rose up and looked at her, waiting until she looked at me. When she did, I smiled and put my hand in my own forehead, before raising it and pointing at her. I put my hand slightly closer, just to be clear that I wanted to touch her forehead.

She looked at me like I was an idiot. She almost turned back to watch the wall… but then she slowly sat down on the bed, looking at me very tiredly. I understood my part, and took her temperature.

She was indeed burning. That much was clear.

I continued my examination, being extremely clear and using very wide movements that made me look like an idiot, and also made her look at me like I was one. Overall, I realized that I needed to let any kind of shyness and shame go. I could not carry that kind of things with me into this new world if I wanted to live, after all.

I examined her, and although I could not figure out what she had, I got a better idea of her condition.

I still didn’t get a single word out of her… that day.

After having to take care of her for three days and three nights, helping her eat, making sure her condition remained stable, changing her position so she could breathe better and any other idea that came to mind, something happened. She started coughing very hoarsely, without stopping. I screamed at the guard to bring water, and although he still didn’t understand me, he probably understood what I wanted when he saw her.

I rubbed her back while holding her. She looked so fragile that it felt like her life was escaping her with every cough. After a couple of minutes she stopped, looking absolutely miserable, her eyes on the verge of crying.

“Goddamn scare you gave me. That was the nastiest cough I have seen in years.” I said to myself when I saw her lay down in the bed again. She was looking at me. I could almost see the gears turning in her head while she studied me with her glassy eyes.

I don’t know what she saw in me in that moment, but as if something had finally opened, she said:

“Have you… seen something like this before?” She asked, her voice raspy because of her hoarse throat.

I looked at her like she grew a second head. She frowned immediately.

“Stop looking at me like an idiot for once and answer the damn question.” She said, her voice becoming hoarser by the second.

“Something like it, yes.” I said, being very unspecific. I didn’t want to tell her that her case was completely unique for me.

“And did those people survive?” She asked, her eyes almost boring holes into me, as if she was studying my every reaction.

I definitely could not lie to her.

“Some of them. It’s not a very definite thing, specially when I don’t know what caused this.” I admitted. When I saw her deflate, I quickly course corrected. “But at the very least, I don’t think you had the same diseases of those who died… you are not coughing blood are you?” I said, revising her hands and the bed.

“There’s a little bit, but I think it comes from my throat.” She said, trying to clear her throat that still hurt.

I watched her for a moment. She had gotten silent again, acting like nothing had happened.

“Why didn’t you say anything if you could speak from the start? I have been here for 3 days.” I said, trying not to say judgmental… but still sounding judgmental.

Which made her frown even deeper than me.

“Why should I speak with the sacrifice that idiot brought here?” She said, a slight undertone of anger peeking through.

“Because I’m your doctor.” I said, looking at her with complete seriousness.

She laughed, just a little bit.

“You are a damn opportunist, that’s what you are.” She said, with the saddest smile I have ever seen. She went on. “I know I have no chance to survive this, and you know it too. But here you are, feigning that you can help me so they won’t kill you. Do you think I’m an idiot? Did you think I wouldn’t know that?”

She looked straight to my face, I could see her desperation as she examined me in search of any ounce of dishonesty.

I could not lie to her… so I decided not to.

“Yeah, and no. I did let your father know that I am a doctor, but I didn’t know about you until he brought me here. But you are right in that he’s going to lop my head off if you die and that, in a way, I am taking advantage of his desperation to help you” I said, being as blunt and clear as I could.

Her sad smile got even wider.

“At least you are honest about how shit you are.” She said. Laying down in her bed again. She seemed even closer to crying now.

“I am sorry about it. That’s how things are. But it is also true that I’m trying to help you here.” I said, trying to console her a bit.

She looked at me like I had just spit in her face. Her eyes suddenly had fire in them.

“If you want to help you will go back to your cell and take the training. You have no idea the storm he must be going through to keep you here. Do you have any idea how important this whole ritual is for us? The Gods are going to punish us with everlasting darkness if we don’t kill you, and yet here you are. Feigning that you can help me to save your sorry life.

We both know that I am going to die, but what I cannot believe is that you are selfish enough to take everyone else with you because you can’t accept the fact that you are as dead as I am right now.

So yeah, if you want to help, then leave me the hell alone”

After spewing every grievance that she had been holding, she turned around towards the wall.

I sighed, rose to my feet… and then leaned unto her without touching her.

“Listen here you stubborn loudmothed brat.” I started, a bit more roughly than I wanted, but my mouth was going off.

She looked back at me as if I just had kicked her, but I didn’t allow her to respond.

“I’m glad you got that out of your chest, so allow me to do the same.

For starters, I didn’t want to come here, but here I am. It is true that I’m using Meofor’s desperation to save my life, but guess what? my life is not yours to take, so stop asking me to go back to the cell because I won’t.

But most important of all, do you know what bothers me the most? That you believe I am lying. That I am doing nothing and that I’m taking advantage of a sick woman to save my life. I can assure you that I am not so mark my words now.

I’m going to save your life. Plain and simple. I won’t rest until I see you get back on your own two feet, completely healthy. You are going to talk to me, you are going to listen to me, and the day I get you back into full health you are going on your knees and you are going to apologize for asking me to die.

Do you understand?”

By the time I finished, I was leaning down on her, looking at her deeply in the eyes.

She was mad at the start, but after an uncomfortable silence, she smiled.

“You are bluffing aren’t you? Do you believe yourself to be God to decide who lives and who dies?” She said, looking as if I had just said a very long joke to her.

“No, but I don’t need to be a God to save you, so you are going to listen to me, and you are going to apologize to me in your knees, with your forehead on the floor, when all of this is over.” I said, returning to my chair, looking at the notes I had written the past few days in parchment.

She was still smiling. In disbelief at the attitude I had taken. She barely avoided laughing when she talked:

“If you manage to do that, then I’ll gladly apologize. Even so, I fear the most likely result is that we both will die and see each other in hell.”

“Then I guess I’ll be the one to apologize if that happens. I’ll even put my forehead in the burning coals of hell, to redeem myself from lying to you.”

“I’m going to hold you to your word there.” She said, coughing again. She had talked too much.

After helping her breathe, I gave her the water, allowing her to drink a bit before laying down again.

“Thanks… I’m sorry, but I don’t think my “father” ever said your name.” She finally asked.

“Howard Thompton” I said, smiling back at her. “And I always fulfill my promises.”

She weakly smiled, before taking a deep breath and trying to relax.

She probably should not talk much more.

I sat down at her side, looking at my notes, starting the work that, unbeknownst to me, would take the next three years of my life.