Chapter 44:
Until I am Remade
The three take a quiet walk around the cabin, looking for any obvious points of entry other than the door, as the windows are all boarded up. Seems like their only choice is to go in from the front.
"It'll be waiting for us," Kenji says with a growl.
"So what's the plan then?" Valerie asks. "Do we just go in? It's going to be trapped."
Masaru shakes his head. "This is the one part of the island that wouldn't be trapped."
Kenji squints. "It makes sense. If it walks around its own home, it probably wouldn't want to deal with all that."
Masaru shakes his head again, and a spark of realization cuts across Kenji's gaze. "The Stranger wouldn't put down traps because, by swimming across the lake, we've embraced the unknown."
Masaru nods. "I don't think that's going to be the end of it, though," he says. "It can't really be that simple."
The three of them look at each other, an acknowledgment of a mystery they're going to have to find out the hard way.
"Alright, I'll breach," Kenji says, prepping at the side of the doorframe and entering a leaning stance as he shifts his weight to his back foot. Masaru looks to Valerie, who nods, and she readies herself.
“Ready," she says.
"Ready," Masaru says back.
Kenji gets another look in his eye, and this one is youthful, brave, and severe. It's like the last fifteen years have melted off the man, and he's back to his old self. "On three," he counts. "One... two... three!" He kicks the door next to the handle, shearing the rusted bolt off as it flies open, revealing the unlit interior of the cabin.
It's there. The Stranger sits at a table, drinking some steaming beverage from a mug. It's turned to the door, so it sees them immediately, and its eyes—some in its face, others in its coat, more across its body—widen in amazement. The pupils slant into cat-like gazes of impressed perception. It's seeing something new in them, and they all know it.
"At last," The Stranger says. If the darkest, coldest night of winter had a voice, it would be like this, with the small exception of just a glint of character, as if there’s fire somewhere out in that frozen night, something that's hopeful, waiting to be found.
"Yeah," Masaru says. "Now get out of our way," he adds, as both Valerie and Kenji line up shots along its body in preparation for movement.
The Stranger's eyes flash again like burning coals, and it pushes up to stand. Its stature is truly monumental, but by this point, they all know that it is but a harbinger of that particularly insidious and worldwide fear: tomorrow.
Yuna wouldn't struggle with this, being too young and trusting in the world. Sato wouldn't struggle with this either, built into his own brash confidence.
But Masaru, Valerie, and Kenji—people who have seen the world enough to be afraid when things change on a dime, when tragedy strikes unexpectedly—this is what has taken hold in their hearts. The Stranger takes a step forward and enters a combative stance that looms over the three humans.
"I will give you one chance to run away."
Masaru takes a step forward with his briefcase. "We're done running. Today, we fight."
Like the unpinning of a grenade, the moment changes all at once. Every semblance of order and control the three have is thrown out as the sun doesn't simply set quickly but disappears. The entire world, all at once, drowns in the dark, and the only thing to see is The Stranger's red eyes.
"Let’s look inside, then," The Stranger says, as a toxic shadow flourishes from its body in all directions, cloaking the already dark room with curtains of smoke.
Masaru is quick to draw his flashlight and shines it through, barely piercing the kaleidoscope of dread surrounding them. "Alright," Masaru says. "Stay together. We've got to..." He pauses as he looks around.
It's just him.
It's not a simple disappearance, either. The degradation of the atmosphere continues as even the kinds of colors that can break through from the light are shrouded into grayscale. Something akin to a string ensemble beats out a trilling, horrific tone as the world supplies its own sound to the battle at hand.
"Valerie!" Masaru shouts. "Kenji!"
No one responds, except for the slow, guttural breaths of The Stranger in all directions.
"Tell me, Mr. Abe," the voice begins, as grievous hands begin unfurling from multiple places around the room, all slowly extending forward for him. "Did you really think removing me would be so simple?" it says, as shouts from Valerie erupt along with gunfire. Masaru cannot see the muzzle flashes, nor can he see anything else but the eyes and hands surrounding him.
"No," Masaru says, his eyes scanning with his flashlight for the glint of a hatchet or an approaching maw of teeth. "I know the rules of this game. Now I understand what it all means."
"Then what is it, salaryman?" the thing asks, hovering as if from everywhere. Even the floor takes on a fleshy, seething quality. Masaru lifts up his feet to get to relative safety, but more and more, the unknown forms of The Stranger surround him, tightening like a vise until there's no room for maneuver.
"The others were a change of heart or a change of perception. You're like that too, but you're a persistent one," he says, turning around again when he thinks he saw a tripwire drawn in his direction. "I can understand authority and respect again, after the society that made me fear it broke me. I can even see who I am, I think. I'll be ready for that when the time comes. But you," Masaru continues, as he fails to dodge one of the grasping hands seizing him by the ankle.
Masaru pauses as he feels a bone-breaking pressure building up from the hand, but he keeps to his words. "You're something I'll have to battle for my entire life, but I know how to defeat you now."
"Then what's your answer, Masaru?" The Stranger asks, as more and more of its hands clasp onto him, as forms of teeth begin latching around his body and pulling from all sides. The pressure is building so much to the point that he feels like he could be torn from all directions at a second's notice.
Masaru pulls in a deep breath of rotten air and answers. "I'm not going to let life happen to me anymore. I'm going to make me happen to my life," he says.
All at once, the forms of the creature fluctuate, and the red stares pale out in a moment that Masaru can only assume is weakness. "And you're going to do it your entire life?" The Stranger asks with a hint of frustration. "You're going to continue fighting on and take responsibility for the things you can control, no matter how painful?"
Masaru nods. "That's part of what being an adult is about. I let that go, and I'm sorry."
The Stranger scoffs as the cold air gains an element of warmth. "What have you learned?"
Masaru doesn't skip a beat. "I have to chase after my problems. I can't let them just come to me and kill me." He pauses a moment as the air seems to thin out a bit from the smog. It's like he can breathe again. "I understand that I can't run to safety or just put it off or try to go somewhere else. I take my problems with me… and from now on, I'm going to face them head-on."
The Stranger steps forward like an arch-predator over prey. Its appearance is so swift, it could be a punch to Masaru's whole body, but it just looms over him. "And when tragedy strikes again?"
Masaru looks deep into the creature's eyes. "Then I'll chase that problem too. I'm done being a victim. From now on, my life is mine."
The Stranger reaches forward with its two enormous hands. At first, Masaru thinks it's going for his neck, but instead, it rests its hands on his shoulders. Masaru pauses a moment in shock as he looks over The Stranger.
Closer and stiller than ever, he can see the band of fingers strung along its neck—some of them his own, some Valerie's, some Kenji's, and many, many other fingers from other people it's hunted in the past.
"That's a rare courage," The Stranger says. “How long will you continue?”
Despite the terror, despite the fear on instant, brutalizing death, Masaru cannot help but fight back tears of pure, open emotion.
“I will keep going until I can’t… and when I can’t, I’ll keep going until I am remade... then I can keep going again,” is his answer.
After a pause, The Stranger nods.
Its body begins to fade with the smog as the world returns to light, slowly, slowly. The nightmare-like visage of The Stranger fades into the obscurity of the cabin, as if Masaru were waking from a lucid dream where specters of the night mark his vision for only a second more before fading out into oblivion.
"Until then," The Stranger starts, as its eyes—red and cruel and filled with energy and pride—finally dissipate for good. "I'll be waiting." Its voice reverberates like a promise to the soul.
Masaru nods. He finds he's alone in the cabin. The boarded-up windows have been replaced with clear glass panes, the floors undisturbed and polished. It's clean, the furniture pristine and beautiful, a rustic paradise far out in the wilderness. He spots a large thermos with four mugs. One of them is full and waiting in the spot where The Stranger had been sitting.
Masaru freezes in place. No fighting? Masaru asks himself, but he realizes it was never about a fight, no matter how much he wanted one. It was about the decision, about the fight that happened inside of him. Yes, he had already beaten The Stranger by simply going to the cabin, in accepting this reality of life. He takes a seat and pours a steaming cup of coffee into an empty mug. He sits quietly for a moment, appreciating the real warmth in his hands, and then he takes a sip. It's perhaps the most satisfying physical sensation he's had throughout this whole ordeal.
Slowly, Kenji fades back into view, stumbles, swings around with his rifle, and catches his breath. "That was... that was it?"
"That was it," Masaru says.
Kenji looks at his weapon for a moment, puts on the safety, and then throws it to the ground. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It started talking to me... and it realized I was looking further than it or something."
Masaru motions to a chair. Kenji obliges, slowly, warily, and then cautiously pours himself a cup. "I just told it that I was done running," he says. "And I think that's the last key I need to finish my own struggle." He looks over to Masaru. "May I have my stuff back?”
“From my briefcase?”
“Yes, I want to do it alone. I'm ready now."
Masaru smiles. "You haven't even told me what it's about."
"Please," Kenji says. “What I needed was the humility to see past myself, my pride as a soldier… as a man.”
Masaru looks at him for a long moment, and then nods. "Alright," he says, retrieving the rifle, along with the single NATO 5.56 round and handing it over to Kenji. "It's all yours."
"Thank you." The two of them sit a moment, and Kenji takes a sip from his mug. "Huh. Freak sure can brew a good pot."
The two of them chuckle as Valerie begins to phase back into the air. She's trembling, covered in sweat, her eyes wide like an animal, but she looks around at the inviting atmosphere and realizes she made it.
"Hey, about time you showed up," Kenji says, nodding to the table. "I think we're done."
She nods as she looks to her wrist and sees all of her circles have been emptied out. "That's it," she says. "That's it. I'm done… I'm done," she scoffs out again.
Masaru nods as he hands her rifle back. "I don't think we're going with Kenji to his last one."
"Really? What's wrong?" Valerie asks, but after gauging the look on Kenji and Masaru's faces, she only hums in acceptance. "Alright," she says gently before reaching for the full coffee mug at the other end of the table.
"Wait a second," Masaru says.
"What?" Valerie asks.
"I think you should fill up the other one. There are four mugs here, after all."
Valerie squints. "Right, but that one's full."
"I'm pretty sure that one's for The Stranger," Kenji interrupts.
Valerie pauses a moment, sighs, and then takes a seat with the empty mug. Masaru pours her one, and they just sit there for a moment, exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually... but they won.
"So now for you, Masaru," Valerie says.
"I'll handle The City," he says. "I know what to do."
Valerie nods. "So after this one," she says, as their world begins glimmering out like a distortion of heat. "After this one, I'm going to my end."
"That's right. Whatever your moment is, I guess," Masaru says.
“And I’ll be ready for that next camera flash. I know who took that picture,” she says before looking down to her coffee.
She takes a deep breath and takes a sip. "This is good." The other two nod in agreement. They pause and then turn to look at the empty space at the table with the still-filled mug.
"So... it just lives with us forever then?" Valerie says, staring at what would be some invisible figure in the empty seat.
Kenji shrugs. "I guess The Stranger’s a little different. It's its way of saying that we can never really beat that kind of thing. You just have to keep moving on."
The three pause at the thought.
"I’m fine with that." Valerie leans forward with her mug. "Promise me you'll get through," she asks, looking Masaru in his brown eyes.
Masaru looks at her, and his expression tells her that everything is going to be all right. A look of calm washes over her. "I'm going to make it," he says.
She reaches for him, and he reaches back. Their hands go right through each other, but they end in an embrace, squeezing each other tightly around their clothing. They pull away a moment as Valerie looks up at him, and he looks down at her. "I'll wait for you," she promises, as their entire world fades out.
Masaru can hear the cicadas. He attempts to turn in time, but the moment he does, he feels the stiletto enter his body. It's over in an instant once again, but this time, Masaru is smiling. "I think I know what you are," he coughs out with a gurgle as he falls over on the ground. The drowning feeling is still there, but it doesn't bite in the same way.
I'll see you soon, Valerie, is his final thought before fading away.
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